I feel like I'm drowning-Two Feet
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We love until we pull the trigger.
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I opened the bathroom door finding Alonzo already dressed in a suit. Realizing he had some kind of meeting, I was debating if I should go on my killing spree at 5pm or at night. The unknown number told me today, he didn't give me any specifics on when I should kill Igor.
At night it was safer. I had more time, and I didn't have to give explanations to Alonzo why I was going to fuck in broad daylight. At night it was safer, and less suspicious.
Trying to act like a worried wife, I simply asked Alonzo where he was going and he simply said: "Work." And with that reply, I realized it was going to be harder to manipulate this man. But maybe it could work in my favor. If he asked, I would reply with one word and if he questions me I can clearly explain how he doesn't give me inside information, so this way we are equal.
Proud of my beforehand plan, I sat on my bed. Remembering I was in need of my computer to check some security cameras before my attack I realized it was at my house.
"Where's my computer?" I asked the man who was rushing out of the door. He turned to look at me, an eyebrow raised and came closer.
Standing beside where I was laid he opened his palm like he wanted me to give him something, his expression clear. I was someone who could read everyone easily. It was part of my job. By seeing their eyes you could see their weaknesses, why their eye color simply changed from fear, why their eyes slightly opened then went back to their normal form. Their words? Their words helped me deepen the information I gathered. Dig deeper into their fears, dig deeper into what they desired the most at the moment they were begging in their knees for mercy, and when I acted like I had some mercy and would spare what they requested me I would trade that precious thing they held onto so close for information. And then I would strike.
There were men who were stronger, resisted physical pain and emotional manipulation. But by studying their behavior for weeks while being in places they couldn't see I simply understood their weaknesses. But that's what I would pull in the end when they simply thought they were strong enough to resist me. And then, when their barriers dropped one by one I would hold onto the last, where they simply always let go of and then strike.
"Your phone." His icy tone cut through the silence.
"I'm sorry, my what?" I stared at him wide eyed. The pocket he was staring at my bottom half pajamas held my burner phone which I always had everywhere with me. While sleeping, while clubbing, while showering which I would let at a counter, and, of course, outside.
"I'm going to register my number in your phone in order to send you the staff's numbers." Okay. That made sense. Taking the other phone from the pocket he wasn't eying I placed it into his bigger hand.
He stared it with his never changing expression and than flicked his eyes to the pocket that clearly had an other phone inside. Then he stared at me. That was a tactic I used with my clients, waiting for them to explain themselves because they felt under pressure. I had to say, he was smart for using this. Same expression, different target.
Waiting for me to explain myself, I didn't. I stared back like I had nothing to explain to him.
"Passcode." He demanded in a bored voice from me, and I just simply took my phone from his hands, opened it to the keypad and placed it at his hand again. Seeing him press the numbers I waited. He threw my phone at my bed and simply left.
Few minutes later my phone buzzed. All names and numbers of his employees. Then he sent a last text. 'Say you are my fiancèe. If you don't, it's going to be worse for you and I won't care enough to fix it.'
Ignoring his threat, I scrolled through all the employees until I found the housekeeper.
Me
Hello. I'm Alonzo's fiancèe. I was curious about my belongings but mostly I was concerned about where my computer is. Do you have any idea where it is?
Housekeeper
Yes, Alonzo's study. I thought you two could work together.
I stared at his black office door and knowing now I had an excuse to enter I didn't think twice.
Opening his door not even debating my choice I was stunned. A wave of luxury and history splashed right through me. A big chandelier in the ceiling, a desk right at the window, beside both sides of the window two big wooded libraries. The wood flooring was darker, matching the not so vibrant light and atmosphere.
I didn't think Alonzo could have this taste. But it didn't really surprise me much, because it still had that cold feel to it.
Entering deeper into the just discovered space, I started searching for my computer. Taking a seat behind his desk, I started searching his drawers. Thankfully, I found it in the first one. I saw papers, dates under my computer but I didn't take them. I didn't have the need to mix with legal businesses.
Making sure I closed both the opened drawer and the office door on my way out, I sat at the bed again and opened it. Immediately messages from my team came, kills they had done and assuring me it was done.
I trusted each individual in my team. I had taken them from their darkest places, and embraced them with it by helping me and in return I gave them the lifestyle they wanted with the amount of money I gave them. Some of them used to be homeless. Some of them were raped teenage girls that I found and trained, giving them power. Some of them were damaged and bullied boys by society that I gave them the poison of revenge. They had duels, fighting one an other but not to the point of death. I wanted to see how well they could handle fighting with their equals. Some of them did good, calculating what they knew and not letting the other hit them. They self- defended. Some knew how to attack their weakest spots but weren't focused enough on self-defense. These duels helped me identify their weaknesses and their strengths. This past month was a break, because the last one that was held strained them out. Some are older than me. Some are younger. But that was the reason that we were known on the underworld. No one knew how much we were, they only knew that there had happened a death. My team doesn't get information. They don't torture. I haven't taken them from the dark to put them deeper into it. I took care of those.
That's why I am the head. That's how I became one.
Before me, there were separated assassins. Each one its own person. I was my own too. Until every kill was requested to me after my big kill, which made all the others get out of business. Some of them though? I had to handle myself. To make it better, I used a knife. News about me spread. Everyone wondered who I was. I became Clandestine. A hidden face with a known voice. I, of course, needed help. I couldn't be everywhere. I couldn't choose. I wanted all. Or others would slowly take my place. So I created a team. I searched poor neighborhoods, I saw scared souls, I saw those who were determined not to fall. I saw. I talked to them, some even tested.
I saw a poor homeless young girl who had a look in her eyes that reminded me of myself. I took her cup of money and ran in a speed which wasn't that hard to caught up to. It was enough for her to reach up to me, and she did, faster than I thought. She even threatened me. Smiling, I turned and took her hand. I told her I could give her anything she wanted only if she worked for me in return. She smiled back.
She was my first employee.
She became close to family. I became like a big sister to her. I was 15 and she was 13. I had trust in her. She had seen and experienced things I couldn't even comprehend . She came behind me even if there was risk of dying. She was ready to risk it all.
I trained her every day. Day by day she became better, stronger. Soon enough, she helped me find others. I knew everyone personally because I chose them. But she was closer to my heart than others. Soon enough, she saw me as someone to look up to. She was the only one who saw my face. Who knew and the name beneath it. She was someone I trusted. Someone I could say I loved enough as my sister. She was almost as good as me. When everyone trained, I trained with her. We got better together.
As we slowly grew in number I needed someone beside me. I took her to eat an ice cream with me and told her the news. Her blue eyes widened and she jumped from her seat hugging me so tight I almost thought she was going to make me explode. Some strands of her blonde hair got in my face but I didn't care.
She told me about her past that day and why this opportunity meant this much to her. She was raped by her father at the young age of 6, and her own birth mother didn't trust her. At the age of 10 she left her house because she couldn't handle the physical and the emotional abuse that place made her feel. She started begging for food and water. Started sitting beside roads and started searching through trashcans. She said I gave her light. She said I was like her big sister. She said I trusted her.
With her beside me everything was easier. She had a passion for computers. She started exploring it after I gave her, her first paycheck as she was always attracted to technology but she never had the chance. She learned hacking. She became the best at it and taught me too. She used to tell me: "You are going to learn hacking to be better than you are. Do it for me. Please?" I accepted.
She saw my kills, and recorded them so we could send them to everyone part of the underworld. I was the most known because I never said no if they needed anything from anyone. And mostly because I worked for no one and had no one to betray. They wanted information? I gave. They wanted a body part? I gave and delivered. They wanted torture? Torture I gave. They wanted just to warn someone? Warnings I gave.
If it was a quick death? I simply sent someone on my team. I didn't want to give anyone more than they could handle. Some just escorted me when I did the kills. I wanted them to learn and tell me if they could handle it.
If someone wasn't comfortable with a kill, they simply didn't do it.
I didn't have a downfall. That's why when I was challenged for my place by someone who was supposed to stand beside me I shattered inside. But my face was a mask. A cold mask.
I felt betrayal. Pain. Unrecognising a face familiar to you. But I just smiled bitterly and raised a gun to her head.
I saw her shake. I saw the hurt. The way she didn't recognise me. I saw her blue eyes, remembering how they shined when she was happy. I saw her blonde hair, remembering how it tangled when she slept, a detail I noticed when we had a sleepover. I saw her face, remembering the fist time I saw it. Dirty but determined. Young but strong. I saw how much it had matured. I scanned it like I didn't care. Like she didn't know Estelle. I saw her body. Taller then when she was 13. Fuller. Stronger. She wasn't that young, skinny girl anymore. She had regained herself. She had escaped the hell she grew up in. She had a new life.
"Goodbye." And I pulled the trigger seeing Anastasia's life escape from her eyes. A loud thud echoed in the entire room. In the room my entire team was in, to set a lesson. A lesson that shattered my soul.
A lesson that made me vow not to let anyone close anymore to both me of my worlds.
Scrolling through the messages my team sent, trying to push aside the unwanted memory, a message caught my eye. One written by of my most trusted, who had even seen when I killed Anastasia.
Boss, I killed Maxim Ivanov, but before I did he said something that, I quote, "Clandestine should watch out. We'll find who she is and destroy her." Thought a threat like that should not be ignored.
I quickly assured him that it was okay, but to contact me if a similar threat appeared. But something about this threat wasn't. Everyone said that they will find out who I am. They never did. But it's the person who said this. An employee of the Russian mafia. I have killed many of Russians to gain some information about them.
As much as I was aware of all the requests I got, the Russians wanted desperately the Italian's information, but the Colombian was behind most of both kills, acting like a failed mafia. It was acting better than both of them. Those two, were too deeply focused thinking the other was the problem not realizing the Colombians were fucking with them.
The Columbians were slowly gathering information about both, making me kill and gain information that even I, couldn't put to use if I wanted to.
Information only they could gain from.
Information understood only by someone inside.
I could get all the information I wanted. I had more than all those mafias combined. I had Columbia, The Irish Mob, American, Spanish, Italian and Russian. I knew their game better than they knew theirs.
But the Russian mafia was where I had most targets at. And something about his surname tickled something in my memory. Searching my folder of all the deaths throughout the years, I searched his surname.
Bingo.
Maxim Ivanov, 42, had a son who died before him. His son, Fedor Ivanov, 19, died for one reason but was requested for an other. Requested for information, killed because I saw him raping a young girl who didn't pass 14, a girl who was resisting even with scars on her skin. The request of information took a different turn than just threatening. Torture.
I took the girl in for training.
Katerina Sokolov. Orphan. Her father killed by someone on my team five years ago. Apparently he was an abusive asshole who used to throw all his anger at her.
Maybe Maxim Ivonov's threat was briefly because of the anger he held towards me for killing his only son.
Not worrying about Maxim anymore, I started with Igor Kuznetsov. I checked his file first which provided photos both his physical weaknesses and strengths. Thankfully he used to be both in prison and the hospital and that's how I tracked his file. He was bigger than any of my requests before, an eye patch located at his left eye, a scar under it that went to his chin. It said he was stabbed by a knife. I smiled. He must like me very much then.
I tracked his phone number from his files. I already knew this number was a dead end, but one thing I learned about mafia's employees or dons, their number leads to their fake house address. Why? Simply that if the police tracks him, it would mislead them.
I was sure that there were housekeepers in that house keeping it clean 24/7.
Digging deeper, I found his housekeeper's number and I dialed her from my burner phone.
It rang. Once.... Twice...
"Hello?" A feminine accented voice was heard on the other end of the line. She might be someone who doesn't know who she works for, but for that, we will see.
"Hello. This is Clandestine." I used my icy voice, finally letting my vocal chords rest. I heard her breath hitch. "Don't dare close the call, Polina." I tracked her name from her phone number. Her breathing got faster. "Don't worry sweetheart, nothing will happen to you unless you give me what I request. Deal?" The line was quiet of any word for a few seconds.
"Y-yes." She stuttered in between the word.
"Good. Just so we are clear, you tell someone, you die. Someone asks you? You die. Someone threatens you? You will die. By my hands ten times worse than what you are threatened. Have you heard stories of me? Do you want me to tell what I have done to big, mafia dons? For starters I-" I got interrupted mid sentence, smiling at how I achieved what I desired.
"Yes. Yes, I know. I have heard your.. stories." Her heavy Russian accent clearly visible through her fear. "Tell me what you want to know."
"Tell me the whereabouts of Igor Kuznetsov." I told her.
"Uh- this hou-" I interrupted her. "The real whereabouts."
"Billionaire's row, 740 Park Avenue, New York, NY 10021." She quickly said.
"Thank you, Polina." I said in a cold tone which I was getting ready to not use anymore until a couple of hours. As I was about to decline Alonzo entered. Guess I was searching longer than I thought.
"Wait." Polina stated but I was getting ready to close the call and clear my laptop windows. "I have something to tell you." Silence. I didn't close the call, I just stared at the man who was staring at me coldly as he was taking his jacket off. Debating what I should do, I just hummed on the call. I couldn't talk right now. Fuck.
"Igor has taken my sister. I'm scared he might have, well, raped her. I heard how you killed Fedor and the reason behind it. Please, if you can find out where Ania Andreew is I would be very thankful."
I stared at Alonzo. He was taking his tie off. Muting the call, I started talking to him.
"Can you undress yourself somewhere else?" I asked him fast, raising my voice in pitch.
"I will." And he just continued taking off his tie. Staring at my phone I placed it again against my ear and the Russian accent filled my ear.
"I'm sorry. So, so sorry. I have heard about your silence. Please spare me." Poor lady. Not waiting an other second, I closed my laptop, took it with me downstairs and sat in the sofa.
"Don't worry. I will ask for your sister. But what if I take her?" I asked her relaxing my throat again.
"What do you mean?" Her voice raised in fear and concern.
"I train people. What if she works for me?" I asked her watching my nails.
"Sure, but what if I work for you too, in the inside?" She questioned me. What?
"I'm sorry?" I straightened myself in the sofa, my eyes narrowing but my tone never changing.
"They say you work for no one, right? What if I, work for you? Inside? Gather information about who is worth killing and who isn't." Her request wasn't wrong, but there was one thing she didn't understand.
"I don't care who I kill. I kill whatever name is given to me." I told her. Smiling. She probably thought I was a sociopath with the way I said that sentence without any emotion.
"Okay. What if I steal files on people you need and then you could avoid taking these phone calls." She quickly told me, clearly wanting to work with me. Something about her made me trust her.
But she had a point. Someone on the inside. I always searched outside, but what if I started inside? Started taking mafias down from their own people? No. I couldn't trust them. I debated.
Information was more important than people. People gave up their lives because of it. She had a point.
"Sure. But might I ask, do you only work for the Russians? I hope not." I requested an answer from her.
"No, I don't. I'm kind of like you here. I change my names. I work for both the Italian's and Russian's. That's why I was scared when you called my name. I'm Mila for the Russian's and Sasha for the Italian's. You know, I have people call and act like they are you but everyone knows when it is actually you. It's your.. voice. Your approach. No one can do it." She told me.
People act like they are me? People are fucking crazy.
But for both Italian's and the Russian's? I could get more insight.
"What's your work schedule?" I asked her, interested.
"6am-11am I am with the Italian's. Even there, I'm at the fake whereabout but I'm hoping I can figure out the real one. Meanwhile for the Russian's you already know where I am. But my schedule at the Russians is 1pm-5pm." She explained.
Alonzo walked down the stairs. I stared at him in a different suit. I was fucked if to handle half of the company I had to walk around all day. When was I going to do my things?
"Hello?" She asked on the line as I only stared at Alonzo in the kitchen drinking water. Going up the stairs again, I entered the bathroom. The bathroom downstairs was closer to him.
"I accept. But we have to meet. I want today. Right now I'm going to get ready. How long until you can be at Central Park?" I questioned her, staring at myself in the mirror.
"30 minutes max." She said confidentiality.
"Good. Call me when you will be there." And I closed the call.
The same moment I got out off my bathroom, Alonzo got out of his office. He sent a flicker in my way and just walked past. Thankful, I dressed in a white dress, a color I never had on, which didn't hug my figure. I also wore a blonde wig and blue eye contacts and did my makeup a shade or two darker. I didn't look like me. Good.
I walked downstairs to an empty house. Thank fuck.
Checking if both my phones were with me, I texted Alonzo.
"I'm going to meet with my ex. He wants to talk." I assured him on text since I didn't want someone behind me.
And I got out.
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These chapters are TOO long so I'm hoping they aren't scaring y'all away
I promise I'll try to shorten them!
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