BREATHLESS
Jungkook
The moment Y/n close her eyes, the rush of anxiety of losing her was too strong. Nurse help me with the sterile clothes and I rushed towards her, she lay there unconscious. Lifeless, as if she's giving up her life. The doctors put an IV and oxygen mask on her and try to wake her up. She's has to be conscious in labor.
"Her heart rate too low, she lost her energy."
"Amniotic water is a half left, baby with risked get a hypoxia."
"Prepare the surgery now. We need to save the baby."
Without giving me a warning they drag Y/n's bed out of the delivery room heading to the OR. I follow them but given a chance to ask the nurse about her situation.
"What will happen to Y/n?" I ask breathing behind my mask.
"We'll try our best to save both."
"Please, if I, if I may, can I stay with her? Her husband is away in Paris, I'm her best friend."
She look at me for a few second before agreeing with me. I follow her in a quick pace, the cold room feels so terrifying as I heard the door closed behind me. I went to the room number two.
My heart skip a beat as I saw her lying there unconscious. I take a deep breath before walking closer and stay next to her head. The chair was prepared, the doctors will get the baby out.
If this is my fault, I will never forgive my self, if anything happen to Y/n, I swear to Go-
"We need to wake her up, her heart rate stable." Said one of them.
"If she wakes up she will be able to push, but she's too weak."
And then one of them notice me. "Sir, can you talk to your wife." Who doesn't know may assume the way I wished to be true. Understand what it means, I lean near to her ear.
"Y/n, can you hear me? Baby, remember when our first date at the beach? You look so beautiful with those black dress, those are beautiful memories we've ever had with each other. So please, baby, come back to me. You have to fight, no need to be so afraid, I am here with you, wake up, Y/n." I say it softly and gently, turns out it worked, I saw her head moving, the oxygen she was wearing causing some fog filling the mask as she try to catch her breath.
"Y/n." I take my chance to hold her hand for support, she weakly open her eyes. Looking at me with smile on her face.
"Jungkook." She whispers slowly.
"I'm here."
"My husband, he, where's he?"
And would have thought about him, the father of her children.
"He'll come. I called him." She smile in relief, her consciousness back, she is now in pain and I hate to see here like this, but she has to.
"It's five centimeters open." I heard the doctor says, she pull away the cloth from her belly and positioned her legs open.
"Mrs. Kim, take a deep breath." The doctor guide her and changed her oxygen mask to tube.
She raise her hand, trying to hold on something for support, I give my hand for her and she gripped onto it tightly.
"Please, tell him, tell him I'm sorry. If I didn't make it this time."
"Sshh, don't say that, you'll make it, just take a deep breath."
I never see woman so desperate and fear before her, I was about to cry to see her fighting for her life yet she's not having too much power to handle her pain.
"Y/n, I know you're strong, think about Taena. Irish is wait for you at home with the baby, V Hyung will so happy to see his baby girl."
"Mrs. Kim, don't try to push, just take a deep breath." They keep telling her the same, and the grip on my hand tightened, almost crushing mine. She look up to the ceiling and breathlessly take a deep breath and try to calm down to bear the pain. Her sweats is all over her, I wipe them for her.
15 minutes later
"I see the baby's head." The doctor chimes a happiness as she is ready to help her. Y/n is taking her last deepest breath before pushing, I stand behind her to support her head. This supposed to be him, I take his place doesn't mean I replace him. Y/n need helps. And I regret forcing her. Maybe after this, I will move on and stop my feelings for her. But those plan is only making me fall deeper watching her give life.
Her screams echoes through the room, the scream of pain in the same time joy. She silently cry, her entire body shaking and her legs tensed, she push hard closing her eyes.
The baby's head is out, she's falling on my arms in relief, sighs escape her lips and breathing slowly.
"You did great." I caress her head wiping all the sweat and tears. She smile open her eyes to meet them with mine.
Her smile sider as we heard her baby cry loudly, the nurse bring her to let Y/n see her. Her cry loud and she reach out her baby to caress her little cheek, she calm and lean onto her finger.
"Beautiful." She mile before closing her eyes again, her hand lifelessly dropped and I catches her and wake her up.
"Y/n? Y/n wake up." I panic as the doctor gather to checked her. Once again she's I the critical situation.
"Her heart rate drop to 80, the pulse slowing,"
"She's bleeding."
"Y/n!" I hold her hand tightly not to lose her, her entire body cold and pale, the fear of losing her increasing.
"Sir, you need to wait outside." One of the nurse say.
"Y/n, no, please I want to stay with her, please save her."
"We'll do our work, please stay outside, Sir." She nonetheless escorts me outside the room and close it back. She ran back to Y/n.
I look inside wth fear, pushing my hair back in frustration. I took off the gloves and my cap and threw it on the dustbin. The sterile cloth as well, I reach my phone to call V Hyung.
"Fuck, Y/n, you can't leave us alone!" I place my phone on my ear wait for it to get answer.
"Jungkook!"
V Hyung coming from the hall running for his life. His face pale and I can see the fear in his eyes.
"Hyung!" I placed my phone back to my pocket.
"My wife, where is she?"
"Hyung, calm. She will be fine, the doctor handle it now." I try not to give him bad news.
"And my baby?"
"She's gorgeous." The smile grow on his face with relief. But something went wrong when he realised where he was.
"Why they take Y/n to the OR? What happened to her?" He look at me sternly and I can't help to not panicked.
"She lost conscious while it's one the way here, she felt the pain too much and she can't handle it. They are gonna put her on a surgery but she wakes up for labor."
"This supposed to be four more weeks, where is she now, I want to see her."
"You can't! She's in critical condition, doctor is trying to help her." The rush of guilt going through the veins of my entire body. If this is ever caused by me, I'm ready to take responsibility for that. But what can I do? Seeing V Hyung in such a bad state, fear of losing his wife obviously plastered on his face.
"She will be okay, Hyung, Y/n will survive." I pats his shoulder, but he pull me for a hug and squeezed my body, crying in my shoulder.
"It's all my fault, Jungkook," my eyes widened to his sudden confession, yet I'm curious for him to spill the tea.
"If I never leave her at first place, this will not happening."
"What, what are you talking about?"
He pull away and I already saw his tears, collapsing on the chair behind him.
"It's my fault, she told me not to go, and I still do. I'm selfish, Jungkook. I don't know what happened to her if you weren't there." He push his hair back and gripped on the back of it before leaning harshly on his back.
"I know it's something wrong with the pregnancy, especially after what happened in the restaurant. The stress she's suffered, the anxiety. I know and I still left."
I didn't hear it wrong, he knew and he still left, that's what I quoted. I didn't have to ask why, he told that himself.
"You knew," I sit next to him, looking at the poster across the wall but my mind still lingering the last yine I saw her before losing her consciousness.
"It's all happen so fast." I mumbled. Hear him sobbing next to me.
2 hours later
The door is open and doctor came out. Still wearing his mask and we both rushed toward him to what's going on with Y/n.
"Mr. Kim." He recognized him.
"My wife, how is she?"
"Is she okay?" I ask.
"Everything is fine, we stopped the bleeding, Mrs. Kim is stable now. We will move her soon to her room."
He slumped almost collapsing in relief and so do I. The burden left my shoulders to know she's okay.
"But, I'm afraid I have to tell you bad news." We both look at him, I fear something is worse than her condition now.
"We found a small mass in her uterus, that's the caused of her bleeding and early contraction. We took the sample to the lab to figure out if it's dangerous or not, and I'm afraid, another pregnancy will risked herself and the baby in the future."
Which is, Y/n can't get pregnant after this one.
"She had her sonogram this morning, but she didn't tell anything about the mass." I tell the doctor to substance the diagnosis.
"It's too small an barely visible in a sonogram test, this mass I'm afraid causing the hormone to produce more than it should, the patient will be having unnecessary anxiety and mood swing."
That explain it.
"Can I see her?" He ask for it desperately with his low voice.
"Sure, Mr. Kim."
Y/n sleep soundlessly in her bed, the IV tube, the oxygen mask as her accessory I hate to see in her state like this. Her eyes shut closed, and her husband hold her other hand, hugging her under his neck, sleeping next to her.
It's been hours, she has no sign of waking up. Looking at the clock doesn't matter it's slowing whenever I glance to it. This got me worried. I walk towards V Hyung who's sleeping next to her. I wake him up otherwise he'll got the neck sore. He squirm a little and open his eyes, they meet mine but slightly look at his wife who is still sleeping peacefully. I wish she just sleeping and wake up soon. The way the doctor explain her condition terrifies me.
"You should sleep on the sofa, Hyung." I tell him and he's nod.
"She's sleeping, right, Jungkook?"
"Yes, she'll wake up, take some rest, Hyung."
He stand up and look at me with his loving gaze, he's grateful.
"Thank you for being here."
"Hyung, I'm sorry." The word slipped my lips just like that. He look at me bewildered. I shouldn't hold back anymore.
"Sorry for what?"
I take a deep breath before telling him the truth. I know that I'm at fault, I'm not making any better instead of trying to ruin it for sake of my evil plan.
"Remember when Y/n and me start dating, and you're the first who figure out." He smile.
"Why you talk about that now?"
"Because I might do the same."
V Hyung smile, knowing where I lead this conversation to. And he waits.
"I always love Y/n, Hyung, the feeling I have for her never changed since the beginning. She's the first woman I've ever fall in love with. Even though she married to you, they still there."
"I know." He said calmly, which I expect he would punch me in the face after that confession. The punch that I deserve after that night kisses. That's what I feel guilty to put Y/n thoroughly.
"Making me stay with her in your absence is a mistake, I could have do something with her behind your back. Aren't you afraid of that?" I provoke him again.
"But you didn't, didn't you? Even if you do, maybe I deserve to be betrayed, I left, Jungkook, when I know I shouldn't, and I'm having fun while my wife needed me to stay with her."
What the hell he is saying?
"You mean party at that club and you have that poll dancing? She was there's, wasn't she?" He look away from my gaze after being busted.
"Is not my intention to be in the same frame with my ex, I only focus on the job, even though she does trying to get closer, I try my best to avoid her." Unbelievable the way he spill all of that, put all the blame that should be mine, not it's his too. As if he is trying to tell me Y/n's condition is because of us.
"You know about it and then you put me with her because you feel guilty? So you want her to be with her ex while you were too?" If my assumption was right, I feel terribly used this time and I took a while to realize it.
"Is not like that, Jungkook."
"Yes it does, Hyung, you tell me about your ex while we were with Jimin, a day after, you asked me to stay with Y/n at your absence."
"Because I don't trust anyone but you. No one understand her well as you did. I know the fact that she still have that feeling for you as well, but I chose to stay quiet because she never mentioned it. Her love for me is not as big as she has for you, I know, but I was so fucking selfish to make her mine, I want her to be mine because I always wanted her, and she always refused me and think of me as her best friend. Even after I find out that she was dating you. I was mad, I was there for her at her worse, I saw what have she is been suffered, and you're the one who win her heart. That is not fair, she always suffer, Jungkook, she always thought the world didn't want her to live but also didn't let her die, everyone that she love is brutally killed and she thought all of that because of her, she's been blaming herself, especially after she knew you lost your memory, she always blamed herself. At her worse state I try my luck, five years I stay with her and she finally said yes, it wasn't easy, she need that long time to finally accept me."
I'm shaking to hear that. Not knowing how to react, I look at his sad eyes.
"I'm sorry, Hyung, I'm so sorry."
"What for? You touched her?"
I look away, because I can't lie on his face, what I'm about to say is gonna hurt him more.
"No,"
"Jungkook, look into my eyes and tell me." He hold my shoulders, trying to find my gaze, and I bravely look up to meet his eyes. Before everything was spilled, we heard squirm from the bed, we look at her bed and see her move her head a few times. He approaches his wife and I follow behind him. Waiting for her to do the move once again.
"Y/n, baby, you're awake?" He talk to her and she move her head again, her hand move as well, and her eyes slowly opened.
"Baby?" His voice were full of hope that she will wake up soon. And she did. I could feel the relief spreading all over my body as I saw her finally wakes up.
"I'll get the doctor."
I was about to go outside but V Hyung held my wrist to stop me.
"You can also go home, I am here now, thank you for taking care of her." He said, softly send me away on purpose, he doesn't want me here, and I can understand that, but still, I'd like to explain what touch I give her that he asked.
I leave the room, after grabbing my car key, certainly Lucas will be here tomorrow to pick them up. Let alone the couple be happy with their new born I don't want to disturb.
Doctor go to her room to check on her condition. And I decide to packed my stuff and go back to the hotel I was staying.
Early before dawn I reach her house and went to the guest room. Find Prudence who were awake and sitting on the loving room. She came towards me after she saw me coming.
"Uncle Kookie! Where's aunt Y/n?"
I smile at how she also worried about her.
"She's fine, her husband came, why you ain't sleep?"
"I can't sleep, Irish been crying and now she's sleeping."
That poor child, she must be worried. Lucas also come from the kitchen, and surprise to see me come back alone.
"Mr. Jeon, where's Mrs. Kim?"
"Still in the hospital, her husband with her, you should go there and bring Taehyung some clothes, he came straight from the airport, his belongings was with his manager, he told him to go home, bring some food as well. He must be hungry." I navigate all the things that the couple may needed.
"And Mrs. Kim, is she okay?"
"Both are save." A simple word and bring them peace of mind.
"Thank you, I'll come soon as possible." Lucas go back to his room and get ready. I was about to leave to the guest room to pack my stuff. Prudence follow me.
"Uncle Kookie, where you going?" I look at her and smile.
"I'm going back to Seoul today, baby,"
"Can I go home as well?" I frown.
"Why, you don't wanna be here with your best friend?" Both are literally inseparable. Hearing Prudence wants to go home instead staying with Irish is just something new.
"I want to give her some space, let alone with her family. Also I missed aunt Amy's cook. I wanna come with you."
"Okay, but you can't leave your best friend without telling her."
"I left note next to her bed."
That's the classic way to say good bye, anyone would found out unpleasant seeing a good bye nite instead of waiting for the person to wake up and say it in person.
"I don't want to bother her, she need to be with her family, I don't want to disturb her." I lean my hand to caress her head.
"You never a bother, baby, you two were like soul mates, never say that again."
For Prudence she must be hurt, her parents passed away and she left alone with me. She's not my bloodline but I love her like my own daughter, if I may have one someday, Prudence is a cheerful girl, she deserved the world's happiness. Her existence is not anyone's fault, and I promise her father to take care of her.
"I know, but sometimes, we get bored, we need to have our own space." She shrugged at the fact that I agree.
"Alright packed your stuff, we leave in an hour."
"Okay."
I don't stop by the hospital, after check out from the hotel, I drive straight to the airport with my niece. V Hyung push me away before I could explain everything, and after that maybe, he will just not push me away but maybe hates me.
I asked Lucas to sent me a text about Y/n, I need to know her condition. But right now, I pushed away the curiosity and leave the family alone.
"Uncle Kookie? Are you alright?"
Prudence touch my arm after she click on her seatbelt we're on the plane back to Seoul. It's gonna be a couple of hours. Looking at her, once she's a little girl I adore because if her cuteness, now she became such a beautiful teen I want to protect for the sake of her father.
"Yes, sweetheart. Why wouldn't I be?"
"You look sad after leaving the house, is something happen?" There's no way she knew adults issues but she's not stupid, Prudence know what's going on with me and Y/n, Irish is her best friend, our story must be slipped in between their conversation.
"I just worried, aunt Y/n is not in stable condition, and I have to leave her."
"Why didn't you stay?"
"I better not, it's good that way." She look at me with the sympathy in those eyes when I glance at her.
"I'm sorry, uncle Kookie, aunt Y/n will be fine."
"She will." I smile at her and look away to the window when the plane taking off. I can't believe I leave Gwangju, not knowing when will I come back for certain reason. I don't know if I wanna go back at all.
Sighs leave my lips in relief, suffocate, and confused. The moment watching and stay with Y/n giving life for her little daughter put her in risk. Her desperate eyes, her short breathing, the fear on her face still vividly haunted me with worries.
"Beautiful.."
Her last word before everything goes dark in her sight. I close my eyes think about her, not knowing my tears leaking out of my eyes silently.