Nan sat at the edge of her bed, brushing her hair with the silver-handled brush that had been provided to her. It was a distant familiarity that fueled her movements and caused her to pause as she tried to recall the last time she had been so clean, the last time she'd had a brush run through her hair and not a hasty combing of her own fingers. The last time, she had been in such a fine house for longer than a few minutes.
Such things seemed so far away, like an illusion waving in the distance, tricking her into seeing something that wasn't there. Even the here and now seemed unreal, like some bizarre dream she had stumbled into. Still, the sensation that it would all slip from her fingers dangled at the edge of her mind, creating an unpleasant knot in her stomach. She did not like the ease with which her surrounding reality had come to her despite the comfort it afforded her and Jamie. She still did not know Sir William well enough to trust him to adhere to the conditions they had struck for Jamie's care. Though he seemed content enough to leave him to her for now.
Shaking her head, she lowered the brush to her lap as she thought on her situation, her eyes turning to the exquisite material of her bedding: a deep twilight blue fabric laced with bloody reds and bright gold and white designs, her fingers idly tracing the patterns of the coverlet, pulling her thoughts away from the matter of Sir William and his demand that she stay with him.
It was a soft knock at her door that brought her attention from the bedding to the door as it slowly creaked open, and Jamie's head popped in. A deal cleaner than it had been when she'd last seen him helping clean the kitchen he had so energetically dirtied.
"Oh good, yer still up." He grinned, running into her room, jumping onto the bed, and placing himself right next to Nan in a flurry of bouncing giggles as the bed puffed greatly from his landing.
"Aye, I'm still up." She smiled at the boy grinning so brightly at her. "But, you shouldn't be." she admonished, glaring halfheartedly as she rose from the bed and went to shut the door he had left wide open. Allowing anyone who passed to see her in the nightgown that had been provided to her. A number of small items had been brought to Nan's chamber during the time she had been away from it. All the sheets had been removed from the furniture, the fireplace stocked, the bed made, and its curtains strung up. The only thing that had gone from her room, aside from the sheets, was the large painting that had hung over the mantle. Nan had only dwelled on that a moment before deeming the thought a waste of time and going about her business.
"How can anyone sleep in this big place?" Jamie whined. "It sounds funny." He added, wrinkling his nose at her.
"It only sounds funny because yer used to the wind howlin' through the walls," Nan remarked, walking back to the bed and sitting on its edge once more as she faced Jamie. "I see they put ye through a bath after all." she grinned at the boy while he glared at her in turn.
"Aye!" he snapped. "I'd just finished cleanin' when they up and grabbed me, hauled me outside, and dumped a barrel on me." he barked, crossing his arms over his small chest as he huffed at the memory while Nan did everything she could not laugh. Recalling the numerous times she'd have done the same if the little brat would have just held still long enough. "It ain't funny. The water for near freezin' it was." He announced.
"No, love. I imagine it was." Nan smirked at him, pulling him to her for a tight hug to soothe away his anger and frustration. The boy hated bathing with a fiery passion she had never understood. Though, she was quite certain it had to do with what had happened to him before she had found him, rather than just a childish phase he had yet to grow out of.
"We ain't leavin' here, are we?" Jamie asked, his tone calm and even, as it always was when he had figured out the truth for himself. It broke Nan's heart to hear such a voice from him; it pained her to a near-blinding degree as it gave new strength to old wounds that had never healed properly within her.
His simple question had quickly and effectively washed away all her former merriment as she thought about his words. She would tell him the truth. Tell him plain and simple why they were here. It was always best to be open and frank with Jamie. Despite his temperament around others, it was Nan he trusted, and it was Nan who had taken care of him for the last four years.
"No, love. We're not." Nan replied, combing her fingers through his hair, and while the act was meant to soothe him, it comforted Nan more. Assuring her, he was still there with her and not some figment. Not some part of the elaborate dream she had been only slightly inclined to believe all this was. With him there asking such blunt questions, there would be no more doubt that she, they, were here, and at Sir William's mercy. The thought sent a cold chill down her spine.
"He wants ye with him, don't he?" he asked, as he pulled away from her embrace to face her, receiving Nan's eyes that until then had been staring across the room at nothing but open air.
"Aye, he does." She nodded.
"What's gonna happen to me, Nan?" the worry flickering in his eyes would have shattered Nan entirely if she'd had no answer to give him.
"He's agreed to take care of ye. Whether I'm with him or not. Yer to be looked after." She informed him with a tight smile, cupping his face in her hands.
"Ye think he'll stick to his end?"
"I don't know." She shook her head. "I want to say yes. But I don't know." She sighed, bringing him back into her arms, seeking the comfort of his being as she was once again assailed with the prospect of Sir William and his arrangement. It could not be as simple and harmless as he had made it sound, but Sir William himself was neither simple nor harmless. What did he expect from Nan that he could not receive from another? That he had not received from another.
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It was two days before Hoss returned with news of the London Seamstress Sir William had ordered fetched for Nan's new wardrobe. With a quick stride he had developed in the army, Hoss made his way to his Master's study, seeking to deliver Mrs. Borde's reply. It was not until he reached the door of the study that he stopped long enough to knock and await permission to enter. It came almost immediately.
"Hoss," Sir William spoke once he had entered the room and placed himself before his Master's desk, watching as Sir William continued to read the letter in his hand, not once looking at his most loyal and lethal servant. Though, if Sir William had not spoken Hoss's name when he had entered, he would have been inclined to believe his Master was displeased with him.
Hoss knew well his Master's temperament. He had known it before he had become the infamous Black Knight and even better after. He knew a roaring Sir William was simply an angry Sir William, a seething, brooding, and most times drunk Sir William was violent, and that a silent Sir William was the most deadly and unforgiving man you would ever have the misfortune of meeting. "What news of Mrs. Borde?" he asked, setting a page of his letter aside as he continued reading to the next page.
"She was quite displeased with your request but will be here tomorrow," Hoss replied simply, knowing his Master did not require a word-for-word recount of the woman's exact reply, though he was ready to give it if asked.
"Good. Go to the kitchen and have Cook fix you something to eat. Then, get some rest. Tomorrow morning, I have an errand for you in town." Sir William instructed, then paused, setting his letter down as he stared out into nothing. With just this action, Hoss could see the wheels in his Master's head turning. Concocting some plan against whatever poor sod had gone against him, though no one person specifically came to mind. The drunken Michael had been the last to make that mistake, and by now, he was food for the crabs and gales if his bloated corpse hadn't washed up on some beach.
"Might I ask what business, I'll be attending to?" Hoss inquired, after several moments more of his Master's silence.
"Nan Harris." Sir William replied to Hoss's surprise, though he took pains not to show such when his Master looked to Hoss and explained further. "Find out everything you can about her. Start with Banger." He said, rising from his seat and opening a small drawer near the top of his desk, retrieving a small pouch that clanked and jingled with the sound of coin, as Sir William tossed the purse to Hoss.
"Aye, Sir." Hoss nodded, turned, and left per the small dismissive wave he received from his Master.
He had barely set foot out the door when a scream filled the air, and the outrageous little brat he had dragged kicking and cursing to Sir William nearly a week before came barreling down the hall with three servants on his tail, yelling for Hoss to grab the child before he could get any further.
With a quick step forward, Hoss shot out an arm and hoisted the little blighter over his shoulder, ignoring his kicks and shouts as the servants came to take the boy from him. Two breathless maids stood on either side of a red-faced and deeply scowling footman who now had a firm grasp on Jamie's wrists as he tried to twist and jerk his way free of the man.
"No, no, no! I won't go! I don't want to! I won't!" Jamie shouted over and over, silencing only when the door to Sir William's study jerked open, and Sir William's fuming form filled the frame. At that moment, the hall became as quiet as a tomb as the eyes of both staff and child stared unblinking at the glowering man before them. The wrinkled scars on his face looked all the worse as they scrunched up in anger at the small group standing frozen outside his door.
"Be silent, you infernal brat. Or I'll have you put from this house faster than you can blink." William shouted, ignoring the startled, terrified looks of his servants. The boy's fear was all that mattered to him, and by God, he would have it. For days, he'd been listening to the little brat tear through his house, terrorizing his servants, obeying none but Nan, and that seemed to only apply so long as she was in the same room.
"If you want us to go, Sir William, all you'd need to do is ask." Nan's voice sounded down the hall almost immediately; all eyes turned to her as she stood some feet away, clad in another one of Ann's borrowed dresses, this one a pale sky blue with little in the way of detail or design, though much like its predecessors it was too big and too long for Nan's trim form. Holding out her hand, Nan called for Jamie and taking advantage of the servant's shocked state, the child wrenched himself free of the footmen's hold and ran to Nan's side, taking her hand. Standing behind her, slightly off to the side, glaring at William and his staff.
For several seconds, William stared unblinking at Nan as she looked down at the boy by her side. She spoke too softly for anyone but Jamie to hear her words. Her fingertips brushed across his forehead before she shook his hand and tossed her head to the side.
"Hoss," William spoke, never taking his eyes off Nan.
"Sir," Hoss answered instantly, his eyes roaming between his Master and his mistress.
"You have your instructions." He bit.
"Aye, Sir," Hoss replied, giving his Master a short nod and Nan a quick glance before he turned his back to them all and headed for the kitchen.
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"The same goes for you lot." William snapped his attention now on the members of his staff who foolishly chose to linger in the hall. "Have you nothing better to do?"
Like mice scattering for the nearest hole, the servants vacated the hall, leaving only Nan and William. The boy, William, noted, no longer cowered at Nan's side.
"Your boy?" He questioned.
"Gone to my room. He'll disturb no one there." She replied.
With a brief nod, William stepped away from the door of his study, holding out an arm for her to enter. Without even the slightest hesitation, she walked into his study, placing herself in the center of the room. Turning to face him, he shut the door behind him.
"You let that child run free in my house far too often for my liking." He practically hissed the words as he went back to his desk.
"He's a ten-year-old boy. With nothing to do and only me for company. I would be concerned if he did not run about." Nan replied with ease, "But I will speak with him."
"Speak? That boy needs a belt set to his back." William grumbled, shuffling the papers on his desk.
"I will speak to him," she said once more, though the words sounded more like a warning than a statement, especially with the threatening look that issued from her stern gaze.
"You look as though you lay waste any who would so much as touch that brat," William remarked with a smug jerk of his head.
"That amuses you?" She cocked her head.
"Merely the idea of it. I wonder how you would go about it?" He smirked, casting little concern toward her threatening looks.
"It's not how that should concern you. It's that I could and would." She replied steadfastly, undaunted by his mocking tone. It was those words that cast off his previous nonchalance. Once again, he had placed her with the rest of the pretty simple twits he had known, thinking she would be cowed by his disregard or sputter out some insignificant answer to her plan for his end. She had done neither and omitted her method for his demise entirely, giving him no hint as to how she might rid herself of him should she feel disposed to do so.
"I do not take well to threats, Nan. And I will not take them from you." He growled. Do not think that because you are a woman, you are safe from me. And do not hold yourself in such high regard that because I want you here, you can discount any threat I may pose to you. Your presence here is merely for my pleasure; the moment it ceases to be, you no longer matter to me."
"I know why I am here. But do remember that I only stay because doing so provides 'That Brat' as you so enjoy calling him, more than I can elsewhere. The moment my staying here becomes a detriment to him is the moment you no longer matter to me." she announced in turn.
For several seconds, William stared at the confounding woman before him, beyond stunned by her defiance, her strength. He'd known men of almost every rank that could stand fast before his ire and even meet it with their own, but never a woman. They all cowered or cried in front of him; even before he had been burned, his anger could set the lasses running in terror, but not this one. She stood her ground; she glared back at him, struck him, and now even threatened his life if he so much as laid an unkind hand on her boy. "What are you?" The words left his lips before he even had a mind to stop them.
"Pardon?" she questioned, her glower replaced with a confused wrinkling of her brow as she stared back at him, caught off guard by his bizarre question.
"You say such things that would give a man, give this man, cause to think you unreal." He replied, wonderstruck.
"Unreal? Do you think me a ghost? Some spirit set upon you? If anyone is to be called such a thing, I would think it would be you." She admonished, setting her hands squarely on her hips, as she cocked her head at him. "You are the infamous Black Knight who plagues Ashfern with nightmares of terror and torture should any be unfortunate enough to cross your path. How am I, unreal?"
With a grin, William shook his head and took up the seat behind his desk. "No, not a spirit. A... manifestation." he elaborated when her brow furrowed further. "In you, I see the very being of what every man deems a woman should be: strong, brave, intelligent, beautiful." He felt his brow crease as she rolled her eyes at his description. "It displeases you to be called beautiful?"
"Not so much displeases as annoys. And not so much being called beautiful as this list you say I embody." She thumped her hand against the side of her leg as she turned from him to the bookcase left of the fireplace, eying its shelves with sudden interest as she walked towards it.
"And what is wrong with my list?" William questioned, watching Nan. His eyes tracing down her backside. Wishing Mrs. Borde was here now so Nan's attire would fit where it was supposed to and not bag or drag in the areas he wished for a better view of.
"It is your idea of perfection," Nan answered easily, tracing a finger down several spines before pulling a thick red leather tome from its shelf and flipping it open.
"And there is something wrong with that?"
"Not if you like dreaming of people who don't exist." Nan shook her head, shut the book, and put it back, moving to the bookcase just to the right of William's desk, presenting him with an excellent view of her profile as she once again set to scanning the books on each shelf.
"You are so certain she does not?" he asked, bracing a hand against his unscarred cheek as he continued to stare at her. Watching as she crouched down to look over the contents of the bottom two shelves.
"You say you see these things in me, if I may be so presumptuous," she looked back to him from her low position on the floor, his small nod agreeing with her assessment. "Is it because you think I am she? I can assure you. I am far from this ideal creature you dream of. And if I were, I would not want to be." She shook her head.
"Because being so would make you more desirable to me," he replied, his tone hollow, his eyes scanning over the rough pink scar tissue covering the back of his hand. There was a great deal of him that was scarred, far more than his clothing revealed, though only a handful knew the true extent of his wounds. And even fewer its depths. "Even if it ensured your safety, your comfort, your happiness?" he remarked, his thumb rubbing the side of his finger.
"Nothing can ensure that. Not even you." She shook her head as she stared at him, unflinching. Her steady gaze would have fueled a hope he had not felt in years were it not for the uncanny certainty of her words. Still, he was not positive if he should allow hope to grow in spite of her certainty or tear it from the soil before it had a chance to ruin him once more. "Besides, it was only moments ago I threatened your life. Would your perfect woman do such a thing? Would she not be madly in love with you?" she smirked. Her teasing prompted William to do his own.
"My perfect woman would not be such an easy conquest." He replied, locking his eyes with hers. "Nor would she be blind to the faults of the creature she loved."
"Creature?" she cocked her head. "Ah, to be loved for what you are and not who." Nan grinned thoughtfully to herself. "Or it is who and not what? I suppose it could go either way, depending on what you wanted them to love. Though I'd think one would wish to be loved for all they are good and bad and not just merely parts of the whole." she commented as she rose, brushing her hands across the front of her dress as she walked over to William, stopping at his desk. Bracing her hands on the table's edge as she looked him over, taking her time observing him.
For the first time in years, William sat with ease, not feeling the least bit upset over a person's open leering. With Nan, it felt less like leering and more like the observation of a Master. True, he was no great work of art, but still, it felt like 'to her' maybe there was something of interest, something worthy of consideration within him.
"What was her name?" Nan asked, breaking the spell of her consideration as her eyes dropped to the ring wrapped around his right little finger. The ring he had accused Jamie of stealing. For that, William had no cause to ask who she spoke of. It was his wife's ring.
"Sophia." He replied stiffly, his eyes dropping to the ring, glaring at the glittering band he had spent a small fortune on. Where Sophia was concerned, William had spared no expense. Her clothes, jewels, shoes, anything she had wanted, he had gotten her. And all the very best. He had gone into debt multiple times just to please her. Just to see her smile. Clinching his fist, William watched as the once pink flesh of his fist began to turn paperwhite. As he recalled the hurt she had dealt him. His delicate, flower-like wife. Her betrayal had hurt far more than the flames and lingered far longer.
"She left you?" William nodded, not trusting himself to speak for fear of the roar that would escape him. "For another?" Slowly, he shook his head, almost wishing she had. In some twisted way, it would have been far easier to accept than what she had done. "Because of the burns?" He nodded once more, staring fixated at his hand, not even noticing its disturbing lack of color. All he saw was the ring and its glittering stones. Until her hand wrapped around his, and his eyes shot to hers. Breaking the angry enchantment his wife's ring had cast over him.
"She couldn't stomach the sight of me," he spoke, his voice void of all emotion as he recalled her exact words. The sound of her voice strained with tears and fear as he'd tried to reach out to her, only to have her shriek and run from him. He had never wished to die more than he had at that moment.
"So, that's why you want me," Nan spoke, emotion pooling in her eyes as she continued to stare back at him. And yet another first assailed William. He wasn't angry at what he saw in her eyes. Wasn't enraged by her sympathy. If anything, he felt...relieved.
Opening his mouth to say what, he wasn't sure, a knock sounded at the door. Ignoring it, he tried once again, only to have the interloper knock again and more instantly than before. With a tight growl, William closed both his mouth and eyes and wished the knocker every kind of death when William felt Nan's hand leave his.
"Sir William?" Came, Mr. Baringer's voice from the other side of the door.
"What!" William snarled, glaring at the door, "What do you want!" he shouted at his Butler when the man's head poked into the room.