Chapter Six
I didn't wait for Mason to finish before I took off running, relishing the instant sense of freedom. Happiness blazed through me as I darted in and out amongst the trees, my sleek wolf body giving me an agility I lacked when in my human form.
My wolf instantly came to the forefront, eager to assert control. Sniffing the air, she scanned for danger and when she was confident all was well, only then did she settle back down. I learned early on, the only time she would take over and push me into the background was if she determined the situation too dangerous. Last night was a classic example. I realized now I never had a chance in hell of staying in the driver's seat once I changed. With no prevailing threat, I was able to still be me in wolf form, and I yipped with excitement.
I increased my speed, paws hitting the ground at a furious pace as I fought to race the wind itself. The constant stream of cool air blowing through my fur felt invigorating, and I bayed with delight along with my wolf as we let go to nature.
My ears flickered as my eyes scanned the surrounding area, expecting to hear the approach of Mason, but I couldn't pick up anything other than the noises of nearby wildlife. Worry struck and I sent out my senses to see if I could feel anything.
Nothing yet. Shaking off my concern, I focused back on the task at hand—running as if chased by the Devil.
Foliage crumpled under my stride as I leapt over fallen trees and muddied patches of ground. Raising my nose to the air, I was assaulted with the aroma of freshly churned soil and the hint of a previous rain. I took the smells deep into my lungs, savoring the way they tasted on my tongue and howled with enthusiasm. This was definitely one of the best parts of being a werewolf—experiencing the world on the most basic of levels. No human cares or distractions. No judgment—just me, my wolf, and our surroundings. Mason was right to have us go on a run. Nothing could help me refocus more.
Where is he? I tried to reach for him through our connection and immediately felt a sense of nothing. Was he blocking me?
A flash of black from the corner of my eye was all the warning I had before I was attacked. My fur rose into hackles and I started to prepare to defend myself. A familiar scent bombarded me and I growled in triumph.
So he wanted to play?
I wiggled out from under him. Mason, having the element of surprise, had pinned me to the ground with his strong paws.
Swiping at his nose, I settled back into a crouch, shaking my tail in invitation. I barked out the equivalent of a taunt and sent the mental image of me standing over him, while he shook in submission.
His good-humored laughter was my reply and he began to stalk me, pacing in circles, watching me carefully. All the while, I returned the best bored look I could muster. Testing to see if he could get the upper hand, he attempted a few lunges, but I saw them coming and quickly leapt out of his reach.
Tired of the dance we were doing, I took the attack to him, springing forward hard and fast, bowling him over in a mess of fur and paws. I nipped at his neck and before he could get himself situated, took off again into the trees. Mason's howl told me the game was on.
We played, enjoying one another away from the responsibilities of our lives. With all the energy we were burning, frolicking quickly gave way to hunger, and I suddenly became aware we were surrounded by wildlife.
Wait here.
He didn't give me a chance to respond before he bounded off into the shrubbery, leaving me alone to settle into a spot to wait for his return.
I must've dozed off because the next thing I knew I heard a thump as something small was tossed at my feet. Opening a lazy eye, I noticed Mason crouched in front of me, a small rabbit lying by my paws. He crawled forward and with his nose, nudged the food closer to me.
I took a bite of the rabbit, my teeth tearing through fur and flesh. Normally, as a human, this would make me cringe, but as a wolf, it was as natural as breathing.
Thank you, I shared with him. Thanks for taking care of me.
Always, he replied. Now eat.
I tried rolling some of what was left back toward him, suggesting we share, but with a wolfy grin, Mason trotted over to a tree and brought out his own kill. We sat in silence as we began to dig in. Eating with relish, my stomach was soon full and content, and I moved closer to Mason, absorbing the heat of his body into mine.
I slowly began the process of licking him, making sure he was cleaned after a messy meal and then laid back as he returned the favor. There was a soothing sense of "rightness" between us and I knew this was how it would always be. I felt cherished, loved and protected.
Once we were finished, I stood up and shook out my fur, stretching out my limbs from sitting down such a long time. Mason began to pull away and once again issued a command.
Come.
We broke out into a run. Careful to follow his lead, I took every chance I could to bump my body against him as we kept a steady pace. I was curious to see where he was taking me because the house was back in the opposite direction.
I came to a screeching halt as we broke free of the trees. Before us was one of the most breathtaking scenes I'd ever seen. How I'd never known this place existed was beyond me. I started the Change and stepped forward on human feet. Everywhere my eyes looked, I saw perfection and a small slice of heaven. Mason came up from behind and wrapped his arms around me.
"I've been waiting for the right time to bring you here. I've been coming here for the last couple of months since I discovered it. I wanted to share it with you." He rested his chin on my shoulder as I stood there, trying to describe what I was seeing.
Mason had brought me to a waterfall. Not as large as some I'd seen, but the cascading water fell steadily into a pool that looked deep enough to swim in. The sound of the water crashing on the rocks below resonated in me and I could feel a sense of enveloping peace. The smells of wet, fresh vegetation surrounded us and the air was the perfect temperature for a quick dip.
He must've known where my thoughts were leading because he lifted me up and carried me to the edge of the pool, gently placing me on the rocks so my feet could dangle in the refreshing liquid. Confidently, he strode into the depths, not flinching as the coolness battled with the heat of his body and he stood in between my legs.
"What about Devlin? He's not going to like being made to wait," I asked, knowing there was more important matters to take care of. I appreciated the chance to run, having needed it more than I realized, but I couldn't let my needs distract Mason from his responsibilities.
"Right now Darcy, I don't want you worrying about it. Devlin can wait. All you need to do is relax and leave everything else up to me. Just accept I know what we need right now."
I nodded, amazed at the incredible strength of the love I saw on his face.
Yep, cherished.
There was no denying it. I closed my eyes and waited for Mason to begin.
I heard trickling as he lifted my left foot out of the water, using his hands to massage out the tension in my muscles. He dripped the cool fluid over my toes, drawing a wet line up my ankle and over my shin. He followed it with soft kisses, before returning my foot to the water and starting on the right.
His touch felt magical, almost reverent as he began to slowly caress each part of me, first with slow, erotic circles and then showering it with droplets. I peeked through my eyelashes as he worked his way up past my knees, concentrating on my thighs, each movement causing my breath to hitch. I couldn't help but realize the seriousness and importance of the moment.
Quietly, he took hold of my hips and lifted me into his arms, backing up into the water before submerging my body completely under. I shuddered at the sensation, not just because I found myself fully immersed, but also from the smolder I saw in Mason's eyes. There was complete focus.
Holding me close enough to offer security, he tipped me back and worked his hands through my hair, separating the strands as they floated on the surface.
I closed my eyes again, showing my trust in him. I felt his hand hold me firmly at the base of my back, keeping me safely afloat. Moments later I felt a stream of water on my exposed chest and stomach. Mason's hand followed, trailing a lazy path over my skin as he chased the droplets with his fingers.
Beautiful, his thoughts came through loud and clear. Mine.
His hands continued their careful ministrations and it struck me what he was doing, the symbolism humbling me. Mason had done everything short of removing the horrible memories of last night. He didn't hold that power, but he could do the next best thing in his mind—he could wash them away. The act took on a whole new perspective and brought fresh tears to my eyes.
How did I ever win this man's heart and loyalty? I felt myself pulled against Mason's body, completely relaxed and wet. My skin felt slippery against his, and it was obvious he was just as aroused as I was.
I brushed a strand of hair away from his eyes, hoping I could show him how much this meant to me. "You're perfect," I whispered before he kissed me.
His gentleness almost undid me. Gone was the fiery passion of earlier when it seemed he couldn't get enough of me. This was a savoring kiss, one that said he had all the time in the world to explore my mouth. It told me he considered me the most precious thing in the world and he never wanted to let me go.
He softly nipped before sucking slowly on my bottom lip. His tongue stroked with an unhurried, steady pace as he finally entered my mouth. I couldn't help the purr I created, enjoying the groan of satisfaction I heard from Mason. For the length of our kiss it was just the two of us, and I soaked it up.
I realized we'd returned to the shore when my back hit the side of the rocks. He lifted me up, setting me onto the rough surface and my body thrilled at the thought of what might come next. I enjoyed the scene as he pulled himself out of the water, standing over me.
Werewolves naturally have fit physiques—all leanness and well-toned muscle. But there was something about Mason, the way he carried himself that was graceful yet masculine all at the same time. Every inch of his body was glorious, a combination of hardness and sculpted contours. I never got tired of watching him move or the way he had a trail of hair that went from his sternum and over his abdomen. I wanted to stroke him, lick him, and feel all that power under my fingertips.
"We'll have plenty of time for that, Darcy." He chuckled, finding the sudden pout on my lips amusing. "First, let's talk."
"Talk? Now you want to talk?" Standing up, I looked over at him with my hands on my hips. By the flare in his eyes as he looked over my naked body, I didn't think he would need much convincing.
Without a word, he moved toward a nearby tree and pulled out something from behind it. I raised my eyebrows and was surprised to see him holding a blanket.
"I brought it here last time and forgot to take it back with me. Just as well, I need you to cover up so I can protect you." He held it open and I unwillingly stepped into it. The warmth and softness of the material felt good against my skin and I found myself cocooned.
"Protect me from what? We're alone."
He took a seat against the trunk of a tree that shadowed over the pool. Nestling me on his lap, he answered, "From me, the big bad wolf, remember? Looking the way you did, you were too tempting and it was all I could do not to nibble on you." He kissed the top of my head. "Besides, it's time we air out your thoughts."
My thoughts. I couldn't help the shiver that erupted through me. I didn't want to think anymore. I wanted Mason and my body demanded I take what I needed.
I could've strangled him as he laughed and I looked at him accusingly.
"You get me all hot and bothered—you show me how much you love me, and now you want to chat?" I tried my best to protest but failed miserably. I just wasn't that kind of girl.
He reached for a strand of my hair and twirled it around his fingers. He looked thoughtful, and I resigned myself to the moment. There was no point in avoiding it, the sooner we could talk the better, and I had a few questions of my own to ask.
"So where do you want to start?" I asked tentatively.
His fingers stopped and trailed down the side of my cheek, his gaze full of seriousness.
"Would you have really left me?" he whispered, his hurt lying just beneath the surface. "I heard your thoughts earlier when you first woke up. Would it have been that easy?"
"It would've killed me, but in that moment, it seemed like the only thing to do," I answered just as softly. "I love you so much, but I can't help but feel like I've failed you. How could I expect you to forgive me? I had a responsibility to Jasmine and instead of doing what was necessary, I hesitated. All I can see in my mind is what would've happened if I'd changed and eliminated the threat. All I can think is why am I so adamant about being human when I'm a werewolf? What happened was inexcusable and I've brought shame to myself, and ultimately to you. Do you really want a mate who everyone thinks is a coward?" The last sentence blasted out and the question hung in the air. I pushed myself away from Mason and began to pace back and forth in front of him.
"You know, as your mate, every single wolf who feels they have something to prove will throw down a challenge. If I can't protect one of our own from a human," I spat the name out as if it was poison, "How the hell am I supposed to protect them from greater threats? You need strength by your side, not weakness. Not me." It stunned me how passionately I felt about this. It didn't mean I was ready to pack my bags and leave, I understood where my place was and where I wanted to be, but this had to be spoken otherwise it would fester forever. I needed Mason to hear how strongly this affected me, how deeply it had shaken my foundation. I just prayed I could come back from it.
"When have you ever been asked to be strong, Darcy?" He moved to stand and comfort me. I thrust out my hand to stop him, growling a warning that it wasn't the time. I didn't need comforting. I needed to purge.
"It's what's expected!" I screamed, tears finally falling down my cheeks. "As your mate, I will always hold the standard and expectation to be infallible. Mistakes can't happen. Not in the Alpha and the woman he chooses to bond with. I thought I was made of stronger stuff, I really did." I felt his gaze follow me as I reached my hand up to the tree and plucked off a leaf. I was silent for a moment, trying to regain my composure. My fingers worked shakily at shredding the small foliage, tiny pieces of it fluttering to the floor before I dropped the stem to the ground. I went to pull another but thought better of it. The tree hadn't done anything to warrant my destroying part of it. I scowled and resumed pacing.
"I love you so much it hurts. I can't imagine not having you in my life, waking up each morning knowing I'm blessed enough to be mated to a man who is everything I could ever hope for. I love knowing you will forever be the first and last thing I see each day, but I'll not be your downfall. I couldn't bear it—so yes, I would've left, but don't ever believe it would've been easy."
I threw myself down beside him and pulled my knees into my chest to hug them. I shook so hard I was surprised I didn't rattle myself to pieces. Strong emotions coursed through me, spiking my adrenaline levels so hard it was a wonder I hadn't changed. I felt beneath the surface for my wolf and for once she was quiet. She wasn't there howling or demanding freedom. She also sensed it wasn't just important for me to get this out, but was also crucial to her future. A werewolf divided within itself was dangerous. I felt her brush up against my skin in support and dragged in a deep breath, hoping it would settle me. I was angry—at myself, at Gary, and everyone, including Mason.
"Why?" I looked at him pleadingly, before banging my fist against his shoulder. "Why didn't you come?" I fell apart and this time didn't resist when he pulled me into his arms again. I felt his hand stroke the back of my head and the slight shush sound he made as he struggled to soothe me.
"I know it was my fault. I should've listened to you when you said it wasn't safe. There was nothing wrong in taking extra protection. I was wrong to fight and now Jasmine is gone, but you should've come." I couldn't hold back any longer and I felt his arms tighten as the electricity in the air began to crackle.
Even as I heard myself blame him for not being there, I knew it wasn't right. There was no way Mason could've known because my ability to use our connection was sketchy at best.
It was one of those things where you tell yourself, "I know I need to work on this, but hey, everything is safe so there's no rush." We're counseled to prepare for every situation, for peace and war, but I had been arrogant. I'd constantly put it off, and when I met Mason I declared since I was to be the Alpha's mate, didn't that mean I could do it at will? My pride had vicious consequences.
I felt him take in a breath as he prepared to speak, but I wasn't finished, and even as the words flew out, I cringed. "You said you would protect me. You promised and where were you?"
I sobbed so hard my chest felt like it was on fire, and I struggled to regain my breath. Everything hurt—my body, my heart and I knew I wasn't the only one.
"Will you let me speak now, Darcy?" Mason queried.
I nodded against his chest, and absently used my hand to wipe away the collection of tears. His skin was hot to the touch, and I could feel his blood thrumming beneath the surface. He was tightly leashed and I braced myself for the outpouring of anger I knew had to be coming. How could he not after my attack?
It was unfair to pour my anger and blame on him because I felt guilty over my inadequacies. I knew it the moment I'd opened my mouth, but I hadn't been able to pull myself back from spewing forth the words.
"If I could, I would rip Gary limb from damn limb—slowly, painfully, for him placing these doubts in your mind," Mason spat through clenched teeth. "The fact you sit here, twisted in knots, questioning the value you hold—to not just me, but the pack, makes me wish a thousand painful deaths on the traitor."
I was incredulous and whipped my head up suddenly, desperate to catch his meaning. Eyes blazing with an anger that could have leveled a city met mine, but it wasn't directed at me. Mason had been able to see to the heart of the matter and place the blame firmly at the feet of the true villain.
"How can you not be furious at me?"
"Is that what you're wanting, Darcy? Will it help if I rant and rail at you, shredding what little confidence you have left? Really?" He looked searchingly into my eyes, the hard stare of an Alpha. "I know you feel you need to claim this burden and I can understand why. But not once have I blamed you for anything that has happened. If anything, the guilt would fall on my shoulders as Alpha because I ignored my instinct to go with you or at the very least send someone with you."
Pain lanced my heart as I heard him assume the responsibility. To hear him accuse himself was too much. I began to speak, but he gently placed his finger over my lips to silence me. For a brief moment, he traced their outline and I savored the touch.
"My turn, remember?" he continued, I blushed, settling into him, and pulling his arms back around me. The feeling of security was instant, and I clung to it.
"But, Darcy, despite the 'what if's,' despite any feelings of fault I may want to assign, the fact of the matter is the ultimate responsibility lies with Gary. We trusted him and thought he was a friend. Last night was about his actions. You and Jasmine unfortunately got caught in the crossfire. Regardless of what you think, you handled it fine. There was no right and wrong. You saw a threat and you acted."
"Like a coward, though."
"No, as the strong, compassionate woman I know and love. You say you have to be this strong and infallible leader and mate. Never has that been an expectation, and I don't know why you would think that. All I ask—all I will ever ask is that you be yourself. We're a team and we both bring traits to this relationship that will strengthen us and help us lead the Pack together. I count on the compassion you showed last night. On your ability to think first and seeing if there is a more peaceful solution before rushing into a situation. Yes, you saw a threat to both you and Jasmine, but you also saw a friend and before you acted as judge and executioner, you tried to resolve it. That shows the marks of an honorable leader. Don't ever doubt it and don't bury it under whatever you think you should be. You are perfect in my eyes, and I wouldn't have you any other way. Understand?"
If I could've spoken, I would've told him just how much his words had reached in and soothed me. I felt the burden I'd been carrying ease slightly, and a lightness that hadn't been there since this whole fiasco had started.
"Whenever you begin to doubt your worth, Darcy, come to me. I'll show you and keep showing you until it's so entrenched in that beautiful, stubborn head of yours, you'll start seeing yourself as I see you."
Images and memories began to form in my mind as Mason was true to his word, showing me what he saw and felt as he watched me each day. He was so observant, catching every subtle change in my facial expressions and body language. He had been studying me and it now made sense why he could read me so well. He was the diligent student and I was his favorite subject.
His emotions flowed over my skin and settled, filling me with a sense of wonder at being loved so completely. There were flashes of brief frustration, and as I watched the images they were attached to, they were times I was being pig headed—adamant in doing things my own way. But they were quickly replaced with feelings of pride and satisfaction in loving a woman who was confident to speak her mind and knew how to fight for what she believed in. He even found it humorous that I had no problem going toe-to-toe with him. No one ever questioned him and he actually looked forward to our mini battles.
I couldn't witness his feelings or memories and deny he was incredibly happy as well as deeply in love with me. After everything, he was still one hundred percent commitment and devoted. Before I could think more on it, his voice interrupted the silence.
"This is what I want you to see." And he recalled the moment we met.