Bella sat in the NICU by Maddie's incubator. She held her tiny hand and sighed. Mark walked in and smiled. "Hey. How's our girl doing?"
Bella sighed. "Still small. Still my fault she's here," she mumbled as she wiped away tears that fell.
Mark looked to her. "Bella this isn't your fault. She's a fighter. She's survived the first 24 hours. She's tough. Like her mom," he told her.
Bella shook her head. "No. I knew there was something wrong with her. And I just... I don't know. I ignored it. Thinking I was losing her. What I did, it was worse than losing her," she said.
"Baby you fell down the stairs. She was breach. This really wasn't your fault," Mark said as he took her hand and kissed. "Is she here a lot earlier than what we wanted? Yeah. But we get an extra 11 weeks of loving her."
Bella turned to her tiny little girl. She sighed and smiled. "She really is perfect isn't she?" She said as she wiped the tears away.
"She's yours. Of course she is," Mark said as he kissed the top of her head.
****
Derek smiled as he saw Grace. "What are you doing?" He asked as he sat with her.
Grace smiled. "I'm getting some clothes for dolly."
"Dolly?"
Grace nodded and grinned. "It's my nickname for Maddie. She's a tiny doll. So I nicknamed her dolly. Personally I think they should name her dolly."
Derek rolled his eyes and smiled. "Well she's still in the NICU. So I think she's gonna stay a little doll," he told her as he kissed her head.
Grace looked to him. "Mark has text. He says Bella is blaming herself for what happened."
"It's not her fault. These things happen," Derek said.
****
A few days later, Mark and Callie were sitting in bed together. Bella was having a shift at the hospital. She needed a distraction. She wasn't healed completely. But she needed a distraction from Maddie and how unwell she was.
Callie looked to him. "You have to say something. Words. Make words," she told him.
"Holy crap."
"Yep."
"A baby?"
Callie nodded. "Growing like a weed in my uterus," she told him as she sighed.
Mark turned to her. He smiled. "Not like a weed. Like a mighty oak. You're gonna be a great parent," he said.
Callie looked to him. "How's the baby?" She asked. Knowing how unwell Maddie was.
Mark nodded. "She's getting there. It's Bella I'm worried about. She blames herself for what happened."
"Does she have a name yet?" Callie asked as she smiled.
"Madelyn-Grace Sloan. I don't know if Bella wants Shepherd in there. But that's the name she's had since Bella found out she was pregnant," Mark told her.
Callie smiled and nodded. "Well I should go and talk to Arizona," she said as she walked off.
****
Grace walked into the NICU. She saw Bella wasn't there and frowned. She found it odd considering how Bella hadn't left since Maddie had been born.
"Hey. Where's Dr Shepherd?" Grace asked as she looked to the peds doctor in there.
"She hasn't been here. If I'm honest, I'm worried about her."
Grace sighed and nodded. "She had a premature baby. A baby who's unwell. So it's expected that she's a little off. I'll find her," she said as she looked to her.
****
Bella looked up as Grace walked in. "Hey you. I went to NICU and you weren't there?" She said.
"She doesn't need me there. She deserves better than me. I couldn't keep her safe while she was in my stomach," Bella said. She sighed. "She's better off without me."
Grace frowned. "That's not true Bella. You're that little dolls mom. And she needs you a lot more than you think. You were so excited for her. I've seen the nursery you have. And she's so loved already. She just needs extra love from mommy right now," she told her.
Bella wiped away some tears. She sighed. "I just... I don't know if I can do this. I can't be a mom," she sobbed.
Grace took her hand. She smiled. "Stop it now Bella. You're going to be a great mom. Maddie is so lucky to have you," she said.
****
Bella was in surgery with Webber. Everyone in the audience had their phones.
Webber looked to Bella. "By injecting methylene blue, it's easier to identify the structures. What do you see doctor?" He asked.
"Gallbladder. Cystic duct. Common bile duct," Bella told him.
"Yes. Misidentification of the anatomy... is the main cause of biliary tree injuries. Today we're trying this new technique... put those things away people. No texting in my OR. Save that for the drive home," Webber told them.
April smiled. "We're not texting sir. Dr Bailey's performing a toupet procedure right now. And there wasn't enough room in her OR. So we're just following it on twitter," she said.
"Twitter? What the hell is a twitter?"
****
Mark and callie walked into the hospital together. Mark looked to his best friend. "What did Arizona say?" He asked.
"Well she said she's in. But I don't trust her at all," Callie said.
Mark frowned. "That's good right?" He said.
Callie shook her head. "Oh I'm still hedging my bets. I'm not gonna move back in with her until I know for sure she's not gonna avail again," she told him.
Bella walked over to Mark. She looked to him. "Hey. Do you have dinner plans tonight?" She asked.
"No."
"You do now. I'm cooking for you tonight. I need to somehow take my mind off things," Bella said.
Mark frowned. "Baby. You have stitches in your body. You shouldn't be cooking or anything," he told her.
"I'm fine. Bailey says I can go home."
"You're not cooking. You're taking it easy," Mark said as he saw her rolling his eyes. "Don't roll your eyes at me."
Bella scoffed and nodded. "Fine. I guess I'll go and sit with my baby's incubator and watch her shall I?" She said as she turned and walked off.
****
Arizona walked over to Teddy. "Hi."
"What's going on?" Teddy asked as she turned to her friend.
"How's your day going so far?"
Teddy shrugged. "Good. I've got a cabg later this morning with Avery and Yang, who have officially entered into the rabid dog stage in the race for chief resident, which could be a good thing or it could be a-a bad thing, which I... You really aren't interested in my day at all, are you?" She asked.
Arizona sighed. "I might be having a baby with Callie," she told her.
Teddy's eyes widened. "Oh, good Lord. He got to you, too?" She asked as she looked to her in shock.
"Callie is pregnant with someone's kid. It's while we were, you know ... I love Callie ... but I don't know who the father is."
"Are you sure it's not Mark?" Teddy asked as she looked to her.
Arizona shook her head. "Mark is too busy with Bella and their baby. I don't think he would hurt her that way again," she said.
Before Teddy could say anything, Arizona got a page. "Oh I have to go," she said.
****
Grace walked over to Mark. She grabbed him and looked to him. "Tell me right now that you're not the father of Callie's baby?" She asked.
Mark's eyes widened. He shook his head. "No. I'm not. I don't know who the father is. But it's not me," he told her.
Grace nodded. She smiled. "Good. I'd have to kill you. By the way, I think that Bella is struggling. She's not herself. Earlier she said Maddie was better off without her," she said.
Mark frowned. "She told me she wanted to cook me a home cooked meal tonight."
"She's not well Mark. Keep an eye on her. I am worried," Grace told him.
****
Bella was sitting with April reading tweets. "This is seriously jacked up. Mayo clinic says "good luck." Cleveland clinic sent you a whole bunch of smiley faces. And there's a resident from Sydney, Australia, joining us for the first time. Yay, Sydney. My mom wanted to go there," she said.
Bailey looked to Bella. "Turn it off, Torres. Chief's orders," she told her.
"Oh, but this is Mr. Windsor's third operation. Everyone wants to know how it comes out," she said.
Bailey sighed. "Okay, until I get the okay from the chief, we're not even gonna tweet the time of day," she said as she looked to the resident.
April smiled. "I mean, it's ... it's not like the chief even reads tweets. It's not like he'll know," she said with a shrug.
"Drop it, Kepner."
April looked to Bailey. "I understand. He's the boss. A-and I'm sure that he's got his reasons. But you've also got 3, 000 residents out there who have been by your side this whole time, through a couple of ... of very difficult, time-consuming, life-threatening operations. And now to tell them forget it, just like that?" She said.
"It ... it ... it ... it's like ... It's like turning off the TV when Clarice is knocking on the door of the house. It ... it's silencing the lambs, and ... and ... and the lambs want to scream, Dr. Bailey. The lambs ... want to scream," Bella dramatically said.
"The man would never know."
Bella shook her head and smiled. "No. No, the man would not," she said.
Bailey looked to her. "You need to be with your baby mama. Go there now," she said.
Bella rolled her eyes. "My baby is fine."
"No she's tiny. Go be with her," Bailey said as she looked to her and glared.
****
Derek looked up as Mark walked into the room where he was. "You wanna know what's fun and really not depressing? Alzheimer's research," he said.
"Callie's pregnant."
Derek looked up. He felt anger coming on. "You didn't..."
Mark shook his head. "No. I didn't. But everyone thinks it's mine. I never slept with her since I first came here. That baby isn't mine," he told her.
Derek sighed in relief. He looked to her. "If you didn't do anything wrong, then you shouldn't worry. Bella's got her mind on other things at the moment."
Mark nodded in agreement. "That's why I can't have people talking about this. She'll think it's true. And she doesn't need it at the moment. Not with Maddie being unwell," he told her.
****
Mark walked back into the examination room. He looked to Callie. "911 means you're dying. Somebody has to be dying!"
"Well what if the baby was dying?" Callie said.
Mark rolled his eyes. He knew how he wanted to be there with Maddie. But Callie kept paging which distracted him. "There's nothing wrong with your baby. Or you," he said.
"Don't yell at me! I am a hormone casserole. My body is not my own. And something feels wrong," Callie told him.
Mark sighed. "Is it muscular?"
"No. It's a feeling in my gut."
"In your uterine gut?"
"No. My metaphorical gut," Callie said as Lucy handed her a box of tissues. "Thanks. Arizona said she's still in. But she said that before. And then she left."
"I don't think she's going anywhere. She loves you Torres," Mark said.
Callie looked to him. "Why can't you be the father? You'd be such a good dad."
Mark rolled his eyes and sighed. "I have a baby. In NICU. And I'm meant to be there with her. Instead I'm here with you."
"You're my best friend."
"Bella needs me!"
****
Bella sat by the incubator. She held Maddie's hand. "I don't know how to do this. How to be your mom. You're so small. You're like what auntie Grace calls you. A little doll. And I'm so scared I'm going to mess up with you. You need a better mommy than me," she said as she stroked her hand.
"That's not true."
Bella turned to see Derek. She sighed. "It is true though. I don't know how to be her mom. She's so small and she's poorly. She has an infection on her lungs. I haven't been able to hold her yet."
Derek walked over. He looked to his sister and smiled. "You can't hold her because she's a doll. Grace won't stop talking about her. But as soon as she's well enough, you can hold her. You can be her mom. Oh! Our mom called. She's coming to Seattle next week."
Bella groaned. "Oh god no. I can't deal with her."
"Too late I'm afraid."
****
Mark walked in to the NICU. He saw Bella sitting there with Maddie. "Hey you, I haven't seen you much today," he said.
Bella nodded. "I've been with her. Is everything okay?" She asked as she turned to him.
Mark took a deep breath. "Callie's pregnant-."
Bella felt sick. She looked to him. "Please. Tell me it's not yours?" She asked.
Mark shook his head. "No. It's not mine. But everyone is talking about it. And I wanted to tell you in case you heard something."
Bella sighed in relief. She looked to him and smiled. "So I've been thinking. Her official name is Madelyn-Grace Rose Sloan. Rose after me. I can't give her shepherd too. So Rose will after do," she told him.
Mark walked over. He wrapped an arm around her waist and held her close. Unaware of the battle that Bella was about to face.