I was stunned by Kookie's reply and before I could say anything, he had upped and left!
I sat down, stunned by what had just happened and also that I knew there was no pulling him out of his shell for a bit. I was quietly just mulling things over when Jin called.
"Yo, RM, what are you doing?"
"Jin...nothing really. You?"
Jin's voice instantly changed.
"Are you ok?"
I kept quiet. Jin probed again. Contrary to popular belief, Jin was just cheeky and playful with the maknae but he and I shared a very comfortable and warm relationship whereby I could comfide in him about anything and I knew he wouldn't judge me.
I ended up telling him everything that had happened between JK and myself. There was silence on the phone for a long bit and I honestly thought he had hung up but finally I heard him mutter, "He wanted to go and you let him?"
"I didn't want him to but he just upped and left!"
"He's like that. You know him. He wouldn't want to bother us and especially now when he thinks his feelings are wrong."
"Do you think they are wrong?"
"You tell me RM, are they wrong? For a smart man, you are stupid at times."
"I don't think they are wrong... I don't find them wrong.. I just...but I'm supposed to be like a hyung to him..."
"An elder, yes. But not necessarily brothers. And even if he wanted a brother, he's got another 5 more to choose from. He doesn't need it in you necessarily. Especially not when he feels differently. You need to go talk to him. His feelings may need some time for you to adjust to or even accept wholly but it isn't wrong, RM. You know that."
I kept quiet, letting Jin's words sink in. I told him I go check on him shortly. Jin smiled and told me to get my ass moving.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm about to attempt asking J Hope out."
"Still on that?"
"Ass. Just because you are having success doesn't mean all of us are!"
I spluttered! "What success!? There is none here!! There is nothing between us!!"
"Just keep telling yourself that." And then Jin hung up. I took my phone out and texted JK to check if he got home. He replied back, saying that he had stopped by the mini mart and was getting some snacks and beer. I told him to be careful and then I grabbed my shoes. I quickly put it on, pulled on a jacket and then left.
I got to JK's apartment and knocked on the door. A few seconds later, JK opened the door and was stunned to see me.
"Hyung?"
"I..I wanted to come hang out here. Is it OK?"
JK nodded confusedly and just let me in. I shrugged off my jacket and took off my shoes, placing them neatly near the entrance. I went to wash my hands and grabbed myself a beer and went to join JK who was watching past episodes of our "Run Bts" show.
We just slipped into an easy camaraderie, watching and laughing over the show, easily getting through about 7 episodes before finally breaking up for dinner. JK offered to put together some dinner and was pottering in the kitchen when I went over. He didn't realize I was there and was busy. I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist.
"Hyung..."
"Can I stay over tonight JK?"
"Yea.. sure... why not? You can..you can take my room."
I nodded, resting my head near his shoulders.
"JK.. I wanted to tell you.. the way you see me isn't wrong.. it surprised me yes but...it didn't make me upset.. I wanted to tell you that but you had left.."
JK stopped assembling the food, stunned by my reply. I turned him around and he refused to look at me. I cradled his face in my hands and lifted it up.
"I... realized.. you got 5 other boys to pick from if you needed a brother. I don't necessarily have to be yours, do I? Not if..I realize im looking at you differently too?"
"Hyung.."
"If the phone didn't ring, what would have happened, JK?"
He didn't answer me, his eyes were starting to dart around. I knew I had to make it clear. I didn't want him thinking I was just patronising him.
I leaned in very closely and JK looked at me, both of us aware we were holding in our breath. Just then the phone rang but this time, he didn't get a chance to answer as I leaned in to kiss him.
That's, that's what would have happened.