"My... Lady?"
The servant recognized my seal but seemed utterly confused and anxious. I crawled past the chamber's entrance, pushing him out of the way, then collapsed onto the pope's seat, my usual place in the council.
"Call for a healer for the gods' sake..." I ordered impatiently, but he just stared at me with his jaws dropped. I would have yelled at him, but barely breathed my words out. "Stop... Bumbling around."
"You heard the Elder, hurry up." The guard reprimanded him in my stead, entering not long after me. He must have run all this way, as he was out of breath too, and made the servant dash out of the chamber. He was still under a strange spell though. "He didn't recognize you. You look different, but your clothes are the same as always..."
He sized me up with a curious, calculating gaze. My story could have ended there, had he reached the wrong conclusions, but he smiled, hand resting on the pommel of his sword.
"No blackmail would have been needed if you always looked like this." He was spouting some nonsense. "I'd follow you everywhere like a puppy. So how did you end up like this, I wonder?"
"I was thoroughly beaten." I struggled talking so he had to come close to hear it. Regardless of what he said there wasn't a speck of empathy on his face, but that's not why I kept him. "Not in the mood for jokes, Stern."
"Tell me something I don't know." He said with an irritating grin, leaning against the table. "When I heard them talk about a badly injured maiden showing up with your seal, I knew you'd be a sight to behold."
"Screw you." That was all I could manage. While I was gone, his purple hair was cut short. The only sign of his heritage, making him valuable to me. His black stubble had more gray hairs mixed in, and his leather armor was shedding the red paint. It was strange, how I must have looked younger than him now, but I sure didn't feel like it.
Despite his ancestry, he was forced to serve a commander, half his age. Only as long as Catherine was still alive somewhere, of course.
"I was supposed to feel energized and all young again." I breathed weakly. "Instead, everything hurts. And things went so well too."
"You don't look like someone who did well, but not like the century-old hag I've got used to either." The old fox noted. "So the Twelve Champions are not to be trifled with after all?"
"Stop joking, they were completely useless. Led by some arrogant, inexperienced witch." I sifted the words through my teeth. Talking, and breathing in general got more and more difficult. "She was barely enough for a good warmup. Exhausted, uncoordinated... But they got lucky."
"Oh? It was down to luck then?" He asked, irritating me to no end.
"Yes, they were the Goddess of Luck suddenly appearing kind of lucky, Stern," I noted, and this seemed to have surprised him too. "She wasn't attacking me outright. An orc brute gave me a run for my money, but once I overwhelmed him, Alexandra shot me with something I had never seen before. It set me on fire, and did this to my shoulders..."
"So the Princess was right? That's quite unexpected." His annoying smile finally turned into a frown. "A noble that is not incompetent... And now you played your cards too early, lady Elder."
"Cut me some slack," I demanded. "It took all my strength to keep the gargoyle flying and put the flames out. Where is that cursed healer?"
I just had to ask. Multiple Kisserleng followers rushed into the council chamber to tend to my injuries. I could tell they didn't recognize me, but seeing the vice commander was enough to get them moving.
"The wound was already cauterized." The high priest commented, scratching his head. "It will take some time to heal such injury, but that must have prevented an excessive blood loss. A healing potion should ease your pain until our prayers reach the Smiling God."
That crap tasted terrible, but he was right. I was finally able to relax, as they started my treatment. Priests had it easy: while their miracles weren't as fast or efficient as my magic, they didn't have to spend their entire lives learning to pull them off. They just had to pray to their patron, who worked for them. No need to diagnose the patient, and know the correct remedies or procedures, all they had to do was concentrate on their prayer and offer an equally valuable sacrifice later.
Unlike the old gods, the Cranta Patheon didn't require special sacrifices. They merely drained their follower's magicules and redistributed their mana through their miracles. If priests requested more of their magical power than they provided, the gods could cut them off, breaking their unwritten contract. They acted like the banks that kept popping up in the old Cranta Empire and loaned their money to the trading companies or impoverished nobles before the Collapse.
I found it all disgusting and would have preferred to heal myself with my strength, but that was impossible at the moment. I was too drained and beaten, and until recently, constantly in pain as well. But with their inefficient, easy method, it took an entire hour to patch me up. It must have been challenging even with all their strength combined to fix me up.
"So what now? Why didn't you retreat immediately when you saw the Goddess?" Stern asked once the healers were gone. He was much more serious now, with plenty of time to think everything through.
"Those beastmen all look the same to me, I wasn't sure until it was too late," I claimed. I didn't like his tone one bit. "Why were they so popular with the nobles? Maybe she wanted to give me a chance to retreat..."
"We are past that." He claimed. "So what's next?"
"We can't beat her, Stern." I pondered loudly. "She must have let me go on purpose... But I don't think the New Order knows about her."
"Well, they certainly do now." He noted. "And maybe about your plan too. How will you deal with the Demon Lord? Is Lambert still alive?"
"Lambert?" I wondered. "Who knows? He is probably curled up somewhere, too afraid to open his eyes. Cowards might be easy to control, but they are useless. I need to commit to this plan now. I will become a deity and reunite humanity against the Lesser Races..."
"Sure, but the Goddess of Luck was never included in your calculations." He shook his head. It was not true, she was the first enemy I had plotted against, but she lived up to her name, avoiding her fate. For that, I did require a new plan. "We need someone with banishment..."
"That would be a threat to me as well." I pointed it out. "There is a reason, why I pitted the Twelve Champions against those three specifically. The Princess and the Paladin were both in the way of your inheritance. But if Lambert ever found his guts, he would have become a threat to me. If we find someone capable, it has to be someone with a spine..."
"Hah, those would never even talk to you." He said and had a point. "Someone that would be loyal to you to the very end? None of your ideals are that attractive. However, if you make them fall in love with you, that is something you could finally pull off now."
"Not everyone thinks with their pants..." I protested, although he was right. With all the plotting and calculations, I should not have dismissed any possibility. I had to reconsider my strategies now that I got my youth back. "In any case, we need to deal with the church first. I no longer need the Inquisitorias. If the Goddess came back for revenge, I might be able to get on her good side by liquidating them."
"As long as Cath is away, I'm the highest-ranking officer here..." He claimed. He wasn't part of the church's hierarchy but could command the troops for me. "Just give the order, and we'll storm the main temple."
"I might take you up on that." I nodded, but the healing potion started to make me feel sleepy. "I served enough Popes already, I probably don't need to elect another one. And all the branches think he is safe with the others. Breaking down their communications was an excellent idea."
"It sure didn't make you popular." He laughed at me monologuing.
"I never needed them to like me, I was in my office long enough for them not to question my decisions regardless. That is all that matters." I shrugged. "I will need to poison a few higher-ups though..."
"Fine, so what are your plans then?" Stern asked. He seemed distant.
"We need to reach our contact with the New Order. Maybe they can still be of use... Gather information." I told him slowly falling asleep. "If they didn't know about the Goddess until now, they might consider her their enemy too. She's strong... We need more time to fight her..."
"Why would the Lesser Races consider her their enemy? She brought freedom to all of them..." He asked confused. I wanted to correct him, but there were things even he didn't need to know. I was unable to trust him, or anyone else. "And what about the Princess?"
"The king will believe anything we tell him," I claimed, yawning. "I made sure he's in a state where he can't question my words. Corpse or not, we can convince him to designate a new heir..."
"Just make sure nobody else finds her." He warned.
"Well, sending out a search party to deal with all the loose ends can't hurt..." I shrugged once again. "Make sure it has members we can trust, but are also agreeable with the king's party. That's how they still haven't found out about the Pope either... We should soon expose him too."
"What else?" He asked, inching towards the exit, but I waved him off.
"I'm too tired... Just make sure everyone is still on our side..."
I passed out as soon as he left and had quite a nightmare. The Goddess of Luck found out about my plot. Not just that, she found the missing royalties, and everyone that was ever gone thanks to me. She brought them back, and they all gathered around.
I had my head resting on a stump, and she was to execute justice on me, with the crowd cheering. I heard a thump but didn't feel much. Soon I observed my old, wrinkled body dancing for the crowd though. My head was no longer attached to it, I couldn't do anything about it either, just look...
And the crowd celebrated Alexandra, that damned witch of luck. I drowned in sweat when I finally woke up. Even if all went according to my plans in the previous decade, orchestrating a schism and a coup at the same time felt quite stressful these days...