My eyes open right as the car comes to a stop. Somewhere along the drive up I fell asleep. Fabian took it upon himself to turn the seat heater on for me. The act made me melt with appreciation. Somehow he is always finding ways to take care of me. Whether that be making sure I had breakfast in the morning or restocking all of my favorite items in his house. I've been on my own for so long I forgot what that was like.
Originally I planned to get some work done while keeping Fabian company. Clearly that didn't happen. Between the soothing sensation from the car and my own flared emotions I fell asleep. Recently that has been happening more. I can actually fall asleep peacefully, unknowing of what hour is approaching or has passed.
The conversation on our way here ripped me raw. I was completely unaware how sensitive my feelings were. All these years I have buried them. Building a wall to block out the emotional damage festering inside. Protecting my heart. Acknowledging all of that pain meant that I would break. The floodgates would be open leaving me a wreck in its wake. I still don't know if I am ready to accept what has been buried. Very little good would come from it.
"Lennox baby, we're here." Baby. A simple pet name that ninety percent of the world is called. When he says it so softly I feel as though it has been made for me. "Why don't you go inside while I grab the bags."
Sitting up I shove the blanket he insisted I put in the car off of me. "I can help." Before I can open my door his hand is already stopping mine. Rude.
His hand grips my face holding it in place."If I wanted your help Lennox I would have asked for it." Slowly his thumb grazes back and forth across my jaw. "Go check out the house. Preferably naked." I smack his hand away but can't help the smile on my face.
Relax Lennox. Don't mess up the break with him already. Being in control has been the way I operated since my tween years. Relinquishing that power over to Fabian is more difficult than it should be. Time and time again he has been more than good to me. Proving that I could trust him. Rely on him. Still acting on that flexed a weak muscle of mine called accepting help. The people who were supposed to help strengthen it never did what they were supposed to. They all left me. Or chastised me until I took everything in my own hands. Now I have to unlearn many of the things I taught myself in order to thrive.
Only that didn't happen either. Being in control all the time meant I thought through every logical possibility. Never doing many things just for the fun of it. Always concerned with practicability and safety.Living this way is restricting. Trapping me in a life of misguided routine and a wine collection of every sommelier's dream.
As requested I do not touch even one bag. I don't even bother looking at them once I'm out of the car. It's not as if unloading is on my mind when I see the cabin. Three levels with wide sparkling windows surrounding. Natural dark stone covers the exterior. What really does the property in is the lake surrounding. No wonder why his mother loved this place so much.
Taking the steps two by two. The inside is just as breathtaking as the outside.High ceilings, wood furniture, and fur rugs. The space is nothing short of breathtaking.
Fabian comes up behind me. "Enjoying the view?" One of his hands wrap around my waist pulling me into him. The other lies on the glass window.
My hand traces over the Rolex on his wrist."I thought you were getting the bags?"
"I did." Haughtily he says the words. Indeed our luggage is at the cabin door. "Do you have to control everything?" That's rich coming from the stubborn control freak of a man.
"If you would let me, I could." Vapor hits the window from my breathing. "Ever since the day I met you, you have done everything in your power to thwart my control." Since meeting him he has infiltrated all of my plans. Interfered even when it wasn't his business to. I'll never say it out loud. Especially to him, but I am relieved he bulldozed his way into my life. Without it, I don't know how I would've fared. Without him I don't know if I would ever experience this happiness. Nowhere in the world compares to being with him. To feeling his touch. To hearing his tender tone reserved for very few people. To seeing his smile when he is uninhibited by the pressure of his position not only in business but in his family.
Softly he speaks."As much as it may seem that way the truth is Lennox you have all of the power." A light kiss on my neck sends my synapses into a freak out. Light and sweet. A perfect blend.
My body instantly misses him when he moves from behind me. "Tease." I mumble the words before following him.
Quietly we walk through a narrow hallway into the kitchen. Like the rest of the cabin it has wood flooring and walls. This space is more rustic with simple furnishing.
A small window sits above the kitchen sink. From it you can see the lake vividly. It's evening now. The sun is starting to set, casting a hazy glow reflecting in the light. I can imagine Fabian's mother watching the little Bianchi kids running and playing outside. All while drinking a cup of coffee. Or maybe even tea.
Would I do the same in the future? The thought is startling. Fabian and I are in a very new relationship. While I trust him wholeheartedly I don't think we're at a point where I should be thinking about children with him. We don't even live together for heavensake.
Some part of me albeit a deeply disturbed part is all in with him. What that looks like I'm not sure of yet. Fabian is stubborn, selfless, and all the things I didn't know I wanted in my life. Someone I can't let go of. For now I have to maintain keeping our relationship afloat without the added thoughts of our future. We have enough struggles in the present. Dammit isn't a nice thought though?
Fabian calls out my name garnering my attention. "Are you alright? You were spaced out for a minute?" His eyes run across me as if he could access the damage that way. Too bad it's an attack on my heart. My eyes avert from him. Scared that if he kept looking he would find the truth. Which is that I am falling deeper for him. It's too soon for such declarations. That doesn't keep the truth from being just that. "Lennox?"
After taking a second to compose myself I face him head on. This time a subdued smile on my face. "All good, just a little hungry. You could feed a girl you know?" Technically it's not a lie. I hadn't eaten since this morning just after he left for his meeting. It's now almost six at night.
A mischievous smile lights up his face. "Are you a girl? Last time I checked you were Satan's spawn."
My arms cross over my chest in mock annoyance. "You'll pay for that one Fabian."
A goofy smile is plastered on his face. "Somehow I always do." I scoff at his response. "There's a grocery store up the road." I arch my eyebrow at him. What the hell would we do at a grocery store? "I'm going to cook Lennox."
My mouth drops open forming a wide o."Are you planning on killing me?" I can't help asking the question. Fabian has yet to cook for me and I am completely unsure of his capabilities. I refused to die at a remote cabin because of salmonella. That's just not how I am going out. It would be better for me to drown in the lake. Then at least I'll get to haunt a few people in the afterlife.
His eyes narrow at me. "I took care of my little brats for many years. Cooking for them was part of that. If you must know."
"I must, not just anyone can make my food." His eyes roll to the back of his head. I can't help but to full on laugh at him for it. "Angelo's spoiled you all these years. Are you sure you're up to the challenge?"
"Once again you do realize that he had to learn from somewhere."
Like a child I rebuttal him. The conversation is silly but riling him up has always been my thing. Just because he provided my orgasms doesn't mean he's off the hook from my jesting. "Doesn't mean it was you!"
Another smile finds its way to his face. Nearly it shatters me. It dawns on me that Fabian is one beautiful man. "How about we make a bet?"
He knows I am never one to back down from a fight. "Terms?" I shrug indifferently but inside excitement began bursting. Popping like popcorn kernels.
"We both make a dish tonight. Whoever has the better dish gets to cash in a no questions asked favor from the other." He cocks his head to the side. A quiet challenge in his demeanor. "Deal?" As if I wouldn't take him on. I'll show him. After tonight he will never pick up another pan in his life for fear of me jumping out of the shadows.
Our hands shake, sealing the agreement."Deal." Without letting go Fabian pulls me into him seizing my lips with his own. "Seal it with a kiss Little Lennox." Once more his lips land on mine.
After a few more kisses the two of us bundled into our outerwear. With zipped coats and boots on our feet we set off on our next adventure. Fabian maneuvers the dark winding roads with no GPS. Having known this area intimately enough. The lush green trees passing by us remind me of how different this place is from the city. Surrounded by the stillness of nature relieved the stress that is somehow always coiled inside of me. Even during activities that should be enjoyable this weighted tension always prevailed. Here I didn't have to run around constant;y thinking of what is next. Instead I get to recline in the passenger seat of my boyfriend's car and talk his ears off.
Which is exactly what I did. The eight minute car ride is filled with conversation and laughter. We talk about our favorite memories. Times we were most proud of. And all the things in between. I didn't think I had this many words to say. With him I could go on and on. Or I could be in comfortable silence. As long as he was there it never mattered.
It isn't until we're inside of the grocery store that we decide to split up. Neither of us wanted to give the other an idea of our dish. Or the chance to sabotage the other competitor. I'm not sure if that rule was made in mind for me or him. We both have been known to do unorthodox things to get our way.
Fabian started on the last aisle while I start on the first. Truthfully I have no idea what I am making. Something easy enough for me to handle that could still beat his dish. My eye spots dough in the deli area and I know exactly what I will make. The one dish my mother actually made herself and therefore was one of the few dishes I inherited.
Recalling all of the ingredients I zoom through each aisle. Grabbing herbs, spices, mats, and oils. Fabian won't even know what hit him when he eats my food.
The shopping is going well. I'm almost finished when I hear Fabian's voice in the aisle next to mine. Turning the corner I find him standing in the aisle talking to two women. One of them holds a baby boy in her arms. Into her he burrows his entire person. Trying to merge the two into one. Looking at him she smiles while rubbing soothing circles on his back. Longing settles in my chest and I'm resigned to pushing it down. At least for now.
Fabian speaks hurriedly to the other woman. Thick dark hair swings down her back as she reaches her olive toned hands up at him. She caresses his face in a motherly way. As if she hasn't seen him in a long time. Like a ghost of the person you want to see most has appeared.
I make out the words of their conversation the closer my cart and I get to them."Cara Marie." Fabian's voice is breathless.
"Il mio dolce ragazzo." Who is this woman who knows him so intimately? Curiosity burns me and if this weren't such a private moment I would ask.
"What are you doing here?"
"The boys are opening a lodge here in a few months. What are you.." Her eyes trail behind him and find me. A spark of awareness shines in her emerald eyes. "I see." A sweet smile graces her features. "She is yours, yes?'
Fabian turns behind him and our eyes meet. "She is. Though she has been quite stubborn about it." Fabian waves me closer. I take one step moving me from his back to his side. "Cara, this is Lennox."
Her warm smile is directed at me."Fabian, she is gorgeous." Her hands clasp mine. More than a handshake but less intimate than a hug. The sentiment is welcomed the same. Whoever she is, she is clearly important to Fabian. Meaning I want to like her and vice versa. "This is my daughter in law Avalon. In her arms is my perfect grandson Sandro." Hearing his name the little boy peeks at Fabian and I. Just as quick as he turned to face us he is turning back into his mom. "Don't mind him, he gets his standoffishness from his father. I-"
Cara is interrupted by a teenage girl. "They're out of the sriracha mom. This was such a waste, we could have gotten our nails done or something." The girl rolls her brown eyes then puts her hands on her hips. Definitely a teenager.
Fabian looks between Cara and the girl. Admittedly they don't look like mother and daughter. With the teenage girl having golden brown skin and tightly coiled curls. Their eyes, lips, and noses don't match up either.
"Gi, don't be so rude." Cara chastises. Gi's face pinches in annoyance, but she does not respond. "This is my daughter Gia Marie." Pointedly Cara looks at Fabian. "Gi this is Ms.Lennox and Mr.Bianchi."
Lighting with recognition Gia's hands drop from her hips into a more formal stance. "Mr.Bianchi it is nice to meet you." Slightly her head bows. Small enough that passersby do not notice. Enough to the point that Fabian does. "You have a lovely building downtown. I mean I would've gone with a different color for the building logo." A hint of amusement plays in Fabian's eyes at Gia's rambling.
"Gia."
"It is still very...nice." She bats her eyelashes before moving closer to Avalon.
"It is very nice to meet you too." His hand sticks out. Gia shakes it quickly before letting it go. "I'll see what I can do about the logo color. Maybe I'll call for some assistance." Gia smiles triumphantly. Much to her mother's chagrin.
"Gia darling, can you check if there's something close to the sriracha we're looking for." With a yes Gia is off flitting from the aisle.
"Did he..." Fabian begins a question that Cara already knows. Her head nods gingerly. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"What was I to say? What would you have done?"
"I would have ruined him. You know that."
"Exactly, and how would that have helped my children?" Fabian takes in a breath. After a second he blows it out. "At the time you had enough of your own issues. Burdening mine is not your responsibility."
"How old is she?"
"Fifteen." Cara's hand touches her heart. "She is the best thing to ever happen to my family. No matter how she got here."
"Cara." Avalon grabs her attention. "I'm sorry to interrupt." I think she says this more for Fabian than Cara's sake. "All four of your sons have been blowing up my phone. Repeatedly I have told them we're fine." She grumbles that part. "Alessandro is threatening to come down here himself if we're not back in twenty minutes." A frown settles on her flawless face.
"Don't they know Marco is with us?" Avalon arches her brow. "Right. They don't care." Cara's attention shifts back to Fabian. "My boys are being worse than hound dogs right now. Please call whenever you have time to talk. I miss you my sweet boy." Cara lifts up and kisses the side of his cheek.
"We have a lot to discuss Cara."
Ignoring him she addresses me again. "It was nice meeting you, Lennox." Exchanging one last smile she, Avalon, and her grandson disappear from the aisle.
My hand gently grips his shoulder. "Got everything?" Distractedly he nods his head yes. "Ready to get out of here?"
Finally he turns to the side facing me fully. "Hungry aren't you?" That mischievous glint in his eyes again.
"Famished."
I follow him tracking his movements. Even though he's smiling, tension still rolls off of him. Even in the car. We talk but there's a part of him that is distant. Who was that woman?
Forlornly he enters our cabin. Together we put the groceries away. Neither of us are in the mood to cook anything. I ordered a pizza from a restaurant nearby. Luckily they deliver.
"Fabian." I call for him. "Who were those people?"
"They work-"
"No." I approach his figure standing in front of the kitchen sink. I don't speak again until I am right in front of him. His scent engulfing me like flames from a fire. "Who are they really to you?"
A sigh leaves his mouth. "That was my mothers best friend. Cara Marie Morino." Morino.
Softly I lay my head on his chest. "What did she say?" Softly my eyes close from the rhythmic beat of his heart.
"He cheated on her, I never knew. If I had.."
"Would it have made it better or worse?" I hear him holding his breath. "If you knew, would it make it better?" His silence is all the answer I need to know the truth.
Fabian can bulldoze his way through a person's life. All for the sake of protection. I can't imagine it would help the Morino's. From what he has told me about them they can handle themselves. Not everyone needs him swooping down saving the day.
"Mamma would never let that go. How can I?"
"You have to, there's no other choice." I move from his chest. "As much as you want to fill that void you can't." The doorbell sounds and Fabian moves out of the kitchen towards the front door. With each step I feel a mile of distance between us.
A/N: I didn't forget lol. Update for DK is here. Please comment and let me know your thoughts and feelings and anything else too! I actually loved writing this chapter!!!! Poor Fabian, he always has the weight of the world on his shoulders. And Lennox wants a baby ? WOAH! Until next time! - Chloe M.