The smile I wore was no longer simple as I advanced in what began to illusionary feel like a pull towards the direction I was headed.
I could still feel my feet touching the floor but whilst I progressed, the sense kept on trifling and trifling until I couldn't feel the floor below my feet.
The situation had turned out to be like I was walking in the air, with an unsteady devilish grin that only got my heartbeat harder against my chest. There was an insignificant internal warning on what I was getting myself into but, I did nothing to stop going forward.
I stretched my arms wide, opening my chest so that the force could take me whole. It was no longer about touching the wall with my hands, but with everything I had.
The whole of my life.
The whole of my spirit.
I felt no remorse as I only urged the force to take me as far as possible. It felt too good going on in the silence.
No brain arguments.
No soul interruptions.
But,
Only pure ecstasy attributed to the effect of the pull. I felt so free. I felt like nothing dangerous would ever happen to me in this state and, I didn't want it to cease. I wanted it to go on and on and on.
That wasn't going to be the case though, as the motion power gradually came to a stop, leaving me hanging in space. The hard heartbeat was gone, as well as the bright shaky smile.
I almost frowned, but chose against it because I thought that would wake me up from the tempting world that I couldn't afford to abandon.
But, I chose to move my legs to test the floating sensation. If I'd been wiser, I shouldn't have considered any movement.
Regardless of how heavy with sleep my lids felt, I felt the motion of my lower limbs over the softness of what I was sure was a bed, though I couldn't tell which one it was.
Not to bother myself from the new sleep, I pushed the worries to the back of my mind, optimistic that another sweven was on the way.
Darkness.
After a while that I couldn't measure, the state of sleep began drifting out. I felt my frame lying on its left side, with energy so trivial only for my slow and deep breaths. I didn't need so much sense to understand that I was waking up again. I felt a comfortable warmth covering me and my mind came to wonder whether I had been covered again.
I subtly moved my shoulders but felt nothing like a cover over my body. I then remembered how generally warm the cave was. I went on and decided to make a stronger motion with all my limbs, but didn't turn to the other side as I debated on whether to get out of sleep or not.
‘C'mon...stay a little longer.’ An internal voice drawled.
‘Mmmm...Damn it I didn't dream about anything.’ The response too sounded like a dragged expression in my head.
I was weak to the advantage because a part of me wanted to stay in this state so that more sleep could pile upon me, even when I didn't know what sweven I preferred to experience just in case I got lucky in my next sleep episode.
While I waited for either the sleep to take me again or the post-sleep fatigue to evade, ‘Are you gonna tell me that you not dreaming isn't enough of a sign that you should give up as earlier promised?’
‘One last time. Remember?’
Of course. I could remember. I recalled the confidence I'd expressed whilst I made the statement. In a rare move, I'd even opened my mouth to say it to the wall.
With that, the fatigue only continued abandoning my system, leaving me as much conscious as possible.
‘Damn it...another episode of thinking and shit.’ I inwardly cursed, my eyelids weakly opening to acknowledge my surroundings, my particular aim designated for the wall that betrayed my advance earlier on. How I'd made it back to bed without dreamily floating was a mystery to solve a little later because...
‘Wait...’ I panickingly fluttered the lids to quicken the realisation that the usually dimly lit space was now either a hue darker or...Had someone taken away the little orange illumination my eyes had gotten used to?
It wasn't absolutely dark to compare me with the blind but it seemed the light had been greatly reduced. Or, the colour had been altered. I needed to find out. Already sitting on the bed with my legs still horizontal over it, I turned my neck, making a swift survey of the area and trying to confirm whether I hadn't ended up in yet another of this place's mystical chambers.
I could hardly make out what was further than the stretch of my arms or the bed.
No immediate fear.
No heavy heart action.
I touched my chest to confirm whether I had the pumping organ and yes, I did have it. Only that its beat was surprisingly and interestingly calm.
I frowned.
What I was currently observing should have triggered the coward side of me but it looked like I was getting used to this spelunk day in, day out. Even when I was yet to see what day looked like in this place.
‘Probably, this reduction in the light indicates that it's nighttime now.’
‘You never know.’
‘But, how come...come on, Roma...this is a cave. The daylight couldn't possibly reach some parts of it. Especially the corners and the underground.’ The frown wasn't going to free my face any sooner.
‘But,...still,..where does the daylight filter through to make it inside? The front wall?’ My eyes quickly darted to the front wall to discern the situation there. I could hardly make out its existence but I strained my sight, only to make out faint grey reflecting off the familiar surface that I was pretty sure was the front wall.
‘Oh.. now it's the moonlight filtering through? Or has Mr Guardian switched the hue? Or the lights off in general. And...why would he do that?’
‘But, if this place really has day and night, we'll have to wait and see how long this night lasts. The daytime alone lasted days!... I swear I've been here for days. Unless, you know, that adds to the answers in regards to my death.’ I shrugged.
Before my supposed demise, I'd heard religious scholars describing the spiritual time scope as the kind that expanded beyond the normal one of the earthly life. For example, a day in the spiritual world being equivalent to a thousand earth years.
Such descriptions were one of the reasons I'd come to quit religion because I barely believed the authenticity of those claims. Here I was, contemplating issues I hardly knew I was gonna have time for again.
‘So, if all that is true, then, where's heaven? Where's hell?...and, how come I didn't see the three-headed serpent torturing me in a grave?!’
‘But at least you managed to see the angel of death. It could have been Phantom or if not, the artefact cause I doubt you could scare away the death angel.’
‘Are we seriously back to this shit?’
‘Of course... otherwise, we wouldn't even have the slightest of a second to think about it.’
‘Oh, I see.’
Next was a short silence between me and the other me who resided within myself. The quietness helped my full focus on the front wall regain its poise. ‘Remind me of what my intentions were with the front wall, please.’
‘Um...you wanted to know if the light was on in a darker hue or off.’
‘Alright.’ I simply nodded, straining my eyes again to make out the insufficient grey presentation some steps away from the comfort of my bed. The temptation to get to my feet and approach the wall for further investigation crept up with my interests abound.
‘Will I really reach that wall? After that hoax of a dream?’
‘Let's try it out in reality as well and see if this is too vivid a dream in its lividity.’
I smirked at my choice of words. ‘Sounds interesting.’
‘And I know how much you love interesting stuff. So boy, get unto your feet and explore. You ain't here to be in bed all long. So what if it's a livid and vivid dream? Actually, slash that...a vividly livid dream. A lucid kind of it. Come on boy, actually... A vividly livid lucid dream!’
The excitement was ample to send me to my feet within seconds regardless of my reluctance to go on with the mission that was building in my head. I stilled on realising what I'd just done as if under some kind of influence.
I sighed and refixed my gaze on the front wall. I wondered if this was another wall call. Without thinking, my hands swiftly ran to my belt, expertly unbuckling it in a split second!
It was easy for me to believe that there was a very powerful manipulation driving my actions as if I was stupefied.
‘Roma! What are you doing?!’ This time, I could conclude that it was my soul screaming because the expression seemed to source the frustration from the depth of my chest. My sight remained unwavered, staring steadily at the front wall. There was surely something behind it. A force so strong it could command my unconscious actions. A dark operator capable of diming this entire place, depriving it of the little light it'd had just to exercise the weird influence.
And now, it wanted me in my birthday suit.
My consciousness returned well the moment my hands had started forcing my pants down. ‘Roma! Come on! Hey!...Hello!...We ain't having sex here. We. Are. Investigating something! Get out of that shitty sexy daze bro!...or do you want it to be like this?’
‘And since when do I care about the light of this place?’
I tilted my head forward, glancing down at my nearly moved trousers before trying out a return of my sight towards the front wall. With the angle of my head tilt, it was hard to achieve that and so I settled the attention to the jeans whose zip I hadn't undone even when I'd been so blindly desperate to slice it down my thin frame.
I offered my waist a devilish grin in satisfaction with my actions thus far. ‘I really don't care whether I'm obsessed or what. It only feels too good being in this situation.’ I went ahead— this time around with my full consciousness— and gently pushed the trousers down my small hips, pausing the moment I saw my pubic area. ‘The Dark.’ I forced down the clothing an inch further. ‘Rules here.’ I continued with the undressing adventure, the obliging of my underwear to it making everything easier for whatever was happening next. ‘And, I'ma do all it wants...’ The upper part of the jeans reached the slimmer part of my thighs, having no choice but to slide down easily to my feet in a second or two. ‘So long as I too want it. So long as I feel comfortable.’
All the while, my arousal was building up and I kept my focus around my groin, witnessing the enlargement and hardening of my surprisingly longer member. I could have thought that the darkness was playing tricks with my vision but the sight was enthralling enough to allow me not the slightest of a chance to place any blame.
‘Roma, ah!... You're this big after your death?... I mean, what was death waiting for all this long to take you with it and now see the benefits! Damn! You gotta try out your first wank with this new whopper. I'm sure the experience got to be different!’
I tried hesitating my hand from reaching my sex organ but that was a move I'd failed at numerous times and this one too wasn't exceptional. I wrapped a loose hold around the base, contemplating whether I could proceed a slow stroke towards its head.
I sighed.
Pleasure and conflict was the current experience.
‘C'mon Roma, do it! You're dead for God's sake!’
‘I don't trust this place. At least I gotta explore it more so that I can gain more trust with time.’
‘Damn it, Roma.’ The part of me that supported the act groaned. ‘I thought you were going to erase this fear out of your system but it seems it's so stubborn a plaque!’ The hold around the warm hard rod tightened, propelling a single erectile motion from the organ.
I interpreted that as a reminder. I'd taken long without the sultry satisfaction of coming and, another reminder about an earlier promise popped in my head. It was about the abandonment of the death investigation once my previous sweven didn't yield anything of help in that regard.
‘I know! And what does that have to do with this? Come on... there's nothing more you gotta say boy! Wank or go on with your fucked fear.’ I internally interrupted myself as of course, the experience seemingly involving two people in my head arguing on whether I was to stroke it or explore the cave more. If I were to go on with self-love, it would be my first time since the death whose underseeking I'd surely already given up on.
Trying to know more about this place and its oddity was something I'd experienced more than once so far. That meant I had to give myself a break.
‘Yeah baby...you see...take it slow. Everything will avail without your constant nags.’ I'd already given in, the ever tighter hold around the girth of my new mamba already progressing a desirably slow stroke towards the tip.
I paused in thought as a fresh idea crossed my mind. ‘I'm thinking...since you badly want to carry out whatever the investigation, you can do it while wanking it. How about that?!’ I rolled my eyes fancily as I simultaneously thought of how dirty my brain was with such adventurous plans.
I focused my daring sight on the front wall, intentionally threatening it to respond with something. Anything, as long as it was weird. ‘You can approach that fucking wall and wank for it, baby. Who knows, once you let out your juices to its surface, it might open up and tell you all the secrets of this damn place and whether you're dead or not.’
Without wasting any further seconds, I guided my feet out of my briefs and trousers, immediately commencing a raunchy stroll towards my target.
‘Yeah, baby...my juices contain potential sacrifices to please the wall enough for an opening like no other.’ I released much of the closed pressure away from the cock, resorting to a gradual loose stroke. I felt its comfy warmth penetrate my palm, even when the room's temperature didn't change any bit.
When my fingers reached a familiar zone underneath and adjacent to the head, I got a little surprised at the lack of sensitivity but went on regardless, because after all, it was a new penis. I'd to reach the base of its dome for my worry to turn serious.
I paused a bit, directing my closed hand back down to the base to experiment again. I repeated the earlier move, expecting to awaken the nerves at and around the tip. The lad was fully erect and I could feel the hardness with my palm but with every dying second, it seemed the organ's responsiveness to my touch became more and more absent.
I frowned at the development, my heartbeat picking a jogger's pace. I decided to approach the glans just to be sure of the experience.
It now only felt like holding a warm smooth stone that wasn't part of my body. At the highest speed, the organ in my chest was already racing and the thoughts in my head were too copying.
I repeated the action, wondering whether the wall and the darkness were responsible for this. Meanwhile, my attention had been away from the wall and it was the moment again for the lifeless surface to have it.
I went ahead with my efforts to find a nerve around the new member, my focus panickingly switching between the latter and the wall which I was about to approach in a few steps.
I ceased the movement with my legs, only maintaining the one with my right hand, making it more vigorous with each new stroke. I could hardly believe that the surprisingly larger mamba had hidden such a worrying astonishment in its aroused glory. Probably, it was turned on but not the person servicing its length. I even wondered how it'd become hard with the help of my smutty thoughts only to cut me out of the pleasure zone after achieving its erectile goal.
Big for nothing.
A hoax.
My thoughts and actions were wild and derailed.
I paused, again.
‘Take it slow. You're panicking.’ My mind advised. ‘Breathe. All along, you've been using your right hand. Try with the left as well.’
I barely hesitated at following the advice and so I switched from rubbing the tentigo with my right palm to using the left one. My heart increased its speed as this seemed to be the last option I had prior to calling this a horrible discovery.
With my left, I felt the very slightest of a sensation but it disappeared as soon as it surfaced. I adamantly continued, my hope unrelenting. I wanted to do this so stubbornly so that I could achieve what my thoughts had told me earlier. I still held the belief that my spurt could crack open the rock's surface and enlighten my experience with the hidden potential of this place.
‘Instead of exploring the cave, you think it's just easy getting ahold of its secret potential? You gotta earn it in another way, I think. I think there are forces within that don't prefer you getting to know more only by acting like a prostitute. So, you got the option of going back to your bed, fall asleep and get ready for the next sweven.’
Still holding my erect sex tool, I glanced over my shoulder and looked at my bed. I returned my focus to the organ I was now slowly and lovingly stroking with all the pleading from the depth of my heart, thinking that with the sourcing of my emotions from a deeper end, I would be able to fix the void.
Nothing manifested in my favour.
I acted in a manner not to warn the wall of my next intention by promptly resorting to the short, rapid and vigorous strokes only at the tip of the mamba. I was now doing it out of obstinacy and annoyance, just to provoke whatever force that I believed had numbed what I could have felt with my current actions.
I lifted my sight and stared at the front wall, gaining the confidence to walk the few remaining steps to get only inches away from the stone. I stopped the self-pleasure mimicry and strained my intimidatory gaze at the wall as if we were boxers getting ready for a showdown. Still, I wanted the concealed powers to flash at my visage and reveal their severity and dominance.
My mind had been quiet, not even wondering how my vision had become so accustomed to this particular kind of darkness. Reluctantly with some sense of fear, I lifted my right hand and felt the soothing coldness of the rough surface with my palm. Whenever I came so close to this spelunk's solid boundaries, the coward in me seemed to shrink and here I was again, in touch with the unknown.
The mystery.
I didn't touch it for that long before a risky idea crossed my mind. Since my fear had diminished, I saw no reason as to why I couldn't try out the fantasy. I went on and projected the cock's dome towards the wall, my heart skipping beats whilst my breath became heavier and heavier. I felt like I was about to lay myself on a sacrifice platform.
I closed my eyes, the experience I'd had with the move reminding me of the possibilities I'd encountered with my lids shut.
And,...
Oh goodness.
It
Felt
Like...
Oh my word.
I opened my eyes on the spot, hardly in belief of what I'd just experienced. I was too excited and thus decided to try it out again, with my eyes wide open in anticipation of what could happen. I sensually rubbed the head up and down the rough surface just to be sure if I'd really felt the touch, connection and responsiveness as it'd occurred not many seconds ago.
I hissed, urging myself to do it more and more but again, I had to halt the adventure and wonder how a wall could be the only spot that could awaken the sensitivity of my genitalia. Whenever I attempted another contact, I felt the function of the whole erogenous zone from the tip down to the muscles inside my butthole. Had the sexuality of my soul been kept in the wall? And, could this explain why I and the solid extension felt an eccentric connection? Since I always thought and wanted coitus, these queries were absolutely important at the moment.
I smirked when I remembered how I'd earlier thought about approaching the same wall only to please my desires and spread the results of the experience on its surface. Well, if I needed the answers to the questions I'd just asked myself, I'd not to back down.
I tightened the hold on the member after switching it to my right hand and braved myself for what was to come next. My intention was to rub the head on the wall until I released my sacrifice on it. I closed my eyes, hoping to have the experience more intense and fruitful.
I'd jerked off several times in my life but this experience was noble. With every slow stroke, my heart pumped as if its thumps could take me to heaven and indeed, I was heading there. If possible I had already reached there only that my mindset had been given a different impression of how paradise looked like. The moment was uniquely blissful. I couldn't control my breaths.
I upped the speed and intensity of my strokes, minding less of the possible injuries I could cause. I badly wanted to come on this wall for the belief that something or someone special with whom I was sharing this connection and experience was behind this rock. I felt the build-up to the climax and urged myself to go on until the burst of ecstasy.
The contractions became stronger throughout my reproductive system and I waited for longer than usual to feel the thick flow through my length but....
I opened my eyes, wondering why I couldn't feel the liquid yet my muscles were at the highest action I'd known.
Oh.. yeah...the level I'd known. Probably, I hadn't reached the peak as yet, since this was a different experience. I hadn't even noticed that I had paused in my movements and as I was about to restart, I felt and saw the thing in my hand gradually fall limp.
Dry.
I frowned and tilted my head at what I was seeing. At that moment, I couldn't even connect the dots of difference that I'd just referred to not long ago!...This was different. A new cock, a new experience and...
I shook my head.
I stroked it, thinking I was going to make it stand again but boy I was stupid! After all my experience with ejaculation I couldn't even place it that the lad couldn't rise again immediately! I slumped my shoulders in shame on remembering that, my head too falling to one side, a simple sigh and smirk following the gesture.
I had even forgotten that the new dick was yet to respond to my touch and that only the wall had access to its sensitivity. I held onto it in its sleeping state—still looking bigger than the one I'd had before in the same situation—and brought it into contact with the hard surface.
The sensitivity was there but not as intense as earlier. I tried as much as I could to think of anything dirty to get aroused once more but the penis only twitched tiredly, indicating that it was yet to recover from the first encounter. My breathing had also slowed down, another sign to reveal that I'd already passed the sex apex.
Without the spurt I'd imagined.
I felt disappointed.
I'd taken days without a wank and here I was, dry.
I wanted to shout but... this was a personal matter and not even Mr Guardian could intervene at the moment. Probably he could, but I could hardly allow him.
This was shameful.
I stood there, feeling defeated. The darkness hadn't gone away either and, no answer to my investigation I had received.
I sighed so heavily, my heart still beating strongly. I touched the wall with my right palm after letting the organ between my legs fall freely out of its captivity. It felt cold but as I made love to it, its warmth was something my mamba could relish again and again. I looked at the rough cave extension as if it'd broken my heart. As if it'd dumped me.
Hesitantly, I opened my mouth and closed it immediately to swallow.
I detached my lips again, wanting to tell whatever the spirit that was behind the hard surface that I was going to come back. Only that I didn't say anything. Instead, I closed my mouth which had stupidly been agape for that brief moment and swallowed once more.
I turned away from the wall, opting to go back to bed and perhaps sleep or think through the odd situation I'd just been through.