i didn't know how to end this and tbh i dont really care.
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Soap felt sick to his stomach as he ran across the base grounds. Mixed emotions. So many mixed emotions he had no idea how to actually feel besides being sick. The closing of his throat, tears pricking the corners of his eyes, the flipping of his stomach, and the pounding in his heart were more intense than anything he had felt before.
He had defused bombs that made it down to the last second. He had been shot multiple times. He had a kill count that no one should ever come close to. He had brought on death and cheated it more times than he could count.
But not once had he ever felt like this before.
He felt sad. Relief. Pain. Excitement. Fear. Joy. But mainly guilt.
He stopped in front of Ghost's door and just stood there, panting. He had sprinted to his friend to tell him the news, but now that he was here he no longer wanted to be the one to tell him. He had volunteered to deliver the news, but he was regretting that decision. His hand shook as he knocked on the door.
"Ghost? Ya in there?" He called out nervously.
The door opened, Ghost stared at him. Soap tried to read what little facial expressions he could decipher under the mask, but there was nothing. They had known each other for years and not once had Soap been able to read Ghost due to the mask. He guessed that was the whole point anyway.
"What is it, Johnny?" Ghost asked.
His voice was another story. There was no scary skull mask for vocal tells. Ghost was confused at the Scotsman's demeanor.
"It's-" Soap paused. "It's-" He was trying so hard to tell him.
"Spit it out, Johnny."
"It's her." Soap choked out.
Ghost's eyes changed and Soap could visibly see his eyebrows move and furrow under the cloth mask. It was the first time he actually saw a facial expression through the mask.
"Johnny, what do you-"
"She's alive. They- A team got her and she's here. She's been alive the whole time." Soap said. "Ghost- she's back."
Ghost froze. Soap couldn't tell what he was thinking but he stepped back, unsure of how his friend would react to the news.
Ghost took a step and then another. Hesitant but still willing to move.
"She's on the tarmac. They're taking her to the infirmary." Soap said. Ghost took another step, his fist closing and opening over and over. "But- Ghost- She's not- She's-" Soap's stuttering wasn't heard or acknowledged as Ghost started to sprint towards where she was.
Soap followed behind his friend.
—- —- —-
Ghost didn't let up one bit. His legs carried him automatically to his destination. He immediately made his way towards where the gurney with a body was.
It was her. She was here. She's alive.
"Ghost. Stop." Price stopped him. The captain's hand was firmly pressed against his chest to keep him where he was.
"What are you doing? She's-"
"She isn't her."
"She's right there. I can see her."
"Simon." Price's voice was low and apologetic. "She's alive but that's not our girl. She won't remember you. She doesn't remember any of us. She's been through too much right now. It's going to take months, if not years, of therapy to even get her to recognize us according to medics."
"No. You don't get it. She's- She'll remember me." She had to remember him. "Let me see her." He demanded.
Price gave him a look but let him pass anyway. He knew Price, Gaz, and Soap were following him closely, hoping that she really would remember him and things would be okay.
Ghost slowly approached, taking in the scene.
She was tied to the gurney, her eyes closed like she was sleeping. The skin around her eyes was dark, one was clearly bruised and the other was adorning bags of exhaustion. Her cheeks were sunken in and her body was thin like she hadn't eaten in a long time. Bruises, some yellow some bright black and purple, showed that someone had beaten her both recently and a while ago. She had cuts that had poorly healed and some were still stained with blood. A particularly bad slash seemed to be hand-mended with what looked like dental floss as stitching. Her lips were chewed raw and her fingernails were short and stubby. He remembered she had a bad habit of biting them when she was anxious and he couldn't imagine how scared she must have been. Her hair was lifeless and greasy. Ghost counted six gunshot wounds, all of which healed poorly and most likely had been infected.
She looked dead.
"(Y/n)?" Ghost said softly.
Her eyes opened and she looked at him. Really looked at him. Not in the sense of looking at someone you hadn't seen in a while. Not in the sense of trying to figure out where you know that person. But she looked at him and he saw the recognition in her eyes.
It wasn't the recognition any of them wanted.
Her arms and legs pulled on the restraints, desperately trying to get away.
"GET AWAY! FUCK YOU! GET AWAY FROM ME! YOU'RE A FUCKING MONSTER! YOU LEFT ME! YOU LEFT ME TO DIE! YOU ABANDONED ME! YOU DID THIS TO ME!" She screamed and thrashed around. The gurney shook from the force and four separate medics had to come and hold her down. She screamed at all of them, demanding they get off her and let her go. She was trying to bite them. "JUST KILL ME ALREADY! GET IT OVER WITH!"
Ghost felt dizzy. His heart was broken. He had left her to die and instead, she had gone through something much worse.
He thought about the last time he saw her. The world seemed to be burning. Their evac truck had been hit by some type of missile or something and had practically blown up with them inside. The door had been thrown off its hinges and Ghost found himself waking up in a daze. The world went in and out of focus and was spinning. The ringing in his ears was awful and everything else was muffled. Trees were burning and so were parts of the grassy ground.
He pulled himself up, ignoring the pain in his side and the most likely dislocated shoulder. He wanted to throw up and if there hadn't been such a big threat of an enemy in close proximity, he would have ripped his mask off to do so.
He stumbled around, looking for any of the members that were in the truck with him. If he had been honest, he didn't really care about anyone but her. He was scouring the ground, begging the universe that she was alive.
The truck was destroyed and he winced at the dismembered body parts of those from in the truck. Blood stained the ground and the smell was awful.
"Ghost!" He heard someone say his name. It was muffled and sounded so distant. Soap grabbed his good arm, turning Ghost to look at him. "You alright?"
"Where is she? I can't- I don't know where she is." Ghost mumbled.
Soap's head turned to look at the destruction. He knew his friend was in love with the girl, but he also knew there was a good chance the girl was dead. "Ghost-"
"I have to find her." Ghost groaned. He stumbled away from his friend and continued to look.
It took only a few more moments before he did find her. There she was, lying in the grass on the other side of a giant piece of shrapnel. Her eyes were closed and he couldn't see if she was breathing or not. He started to make his way over to her, but Soap grabbed him and pulled him back quickly.
A tree had fallen on her. It looked like the burning tree had fallen on her. It had almost fallen on him as well.
He couldn't hear it, but the feeling of his scratchy throat told him he was shouting.
"She's gone, Ghost. I'm sorry but she's gone." Price said. When had he gotten here?
"No! She can't-"
"We have to go." Price ordered. Ghost turned to shout at him but saw trucks of the enemy approaching. They really did have to go.
Ghost had been inconsolable for months. No one could get through to him. When he finally did emerge from his room and started to partake in things again, he was colder. No emotions. Nothing made him happy. Not anymore.
And then she came back. A year later and here she was. But she wasn't her. She didn't want anything to do with him and it was like she was dead all over again.
Her words stabbed through him. His heart ached and he felt sick again. He had left her to die and here she was, not dead, but broken.
And there was nothing he could do about it.