𝙢𝙮 𝙚𝙮𝙚𝙨, 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙚𝙮𝙚𝙨 ( 𝙬𝙖𝙡𝙠𝙚𝙧 𝙨𝙘𝙤𝙗𝙚𝙡𝙡 )

𝙤𝙣𝙚

CHAPTER ONE

a sight for sore eyes

when i was ten years old, i started filmmaking. i made a single two minute video recorded on my dad's ipad resting on my bed frame of me playing with pony dolls. i created, and created. that's all i did, all i knew i would be doing.

when i was eleven, i wrote my first screenplay. it was five pages of pure shit, something about a princess and a dog. i would say what it's about -- i have it stuffed into a memory box -- but the plethora of misspellings make it untranslatable.

when i was twelve, i had my first kiss. it was with my crush at the time, some kid named jake, at a pizza party. i felt like i was in a movie, so i went home after, my cheeks still bright red, and immediately started writing. i wrote a ten page short film -- romance, of course. anyway, that crush ended up ghosting me after i asked him to hang out a few days later. another short film. this time, angst... with some romance.

when i was thirteen, i started watching films over and over again, specifically ones with characters i thought were hot ( could you blame me? ). i fantasized about these boys being cast in my oscar-winning films, prompting me to write what i thought was the romance film of the year: a love hexagon between me and all my celebrity crushes. i didn't show it to anyone. no one wanted to read about me making out with christian bale.

when i was fourteen, i met the girl who, in fact, did want to. maeve bishop, my best friend, is absolutely insane. and that's solely because she enjoys reading my insane work. we fueled each other's passions for storytelling, we learned all we could about filmmaking, and she actually helped me write longer pieces.

when i was fifteen, the two of us wrote our first twenty five minute short film. we called it: howl at the sun. no, it's not about a werewolf -- it's metaphorical. it's actually about seeking the unattainable and embracing vulnerability. we were so proud of it. it's deep, it's beautifully written, it's our first solid piece. just needed to be made.

now, i'm sixteen. the ap classes took over, and sophomore year seemed neverending. maeve and i hadn't even started filming. and don't get me started on casting. at that point, the characters were neglected and they were the unattainable that we didn't have time to seek. we tried to talk about filmmaking when we could, joking about which annoying boy in our classes we would cast as the main character, caleb.

but life just got in the way. i was miserable focusing on useless things i didn't enjoy. i hate to admit it, but i'm pretty sure i forgot about howl at the sun for a few months.

until there was talk of a new kid coming into our school by the next week. apparently he was famous. i didn't believe them. i had lost faith in the people in my grade years before. plus, the last rumor that went around was that our principal was sleeping with the whole janitorial staff!

"give me a break," i told maeve during a passing period. we had just gotten back from december recess. i was so exhausted, and the passing periods were the only rest we really got in the school days. they're only five minutes long. "i don't feel like listening to people constantly talk about this imaginary celebrity new kid. i just want to go to sleep."

"exactly," she said. "can you pinch me, just to wake me up? coffee didn't even help this morning." i obliged with ease. she jumped. "fuck! what'd you do that for," she said through chuckles.

our next class was together, ap world. probably the worst class i've put myself through. it's the bane of my existence, and oh my gosh, the teacher. mr fennel definitely is super competitive in a competition over who can stress students out the most with my chemistry teacher, mrs fennel. i'm all for romance, but not when their two evilnesses combine to make actual hell.

speaking of romance, i haven't kissed anyone since jake in sixth grade. i guess because there's no good guys in my school. the only male i enjoy the company of here is my cousin, jordyn. he's always there to make me laugh. it's nice having him live so close by, he's almost like a brother. in fact, he promised to help maeve and i film, and that he would convince his friends to act in it if needed.

the bell rang just as we walked inside. we sat down at our usual table in the back of class. we had grown sick of the throwing of rolled up pieces of paper in our vicinity, so back here we were safe. somehow mr fennel's scary voice didn't seem to make the "class clowns" stop their antics.

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the school days dragged by and the new year didn't seem to bring anything new for me. just the same old, same old. it was friday by the time i had some energy again. maeve and i planned to have a sleepover that saturday, where we would binge watch the twilight series, after doing our homework, of course. she wanted me to hear her out on robert pattinson, which i never ended up getting.

"you're so uncultured! you haven't seen half the cute celebrities out there." we sat on the couch in her living room, wearing matching pajamas.

"not true. i've watched, like, every movie there is," i defended myself with.

"that's not a valid argument. actors aren't the only famous people," she said. "tell me, y/n, who is the cutest singer you've seen."

i had to think for a moment. "ryan gosling?"

"he's also an actor!"

"okay, you got me there," i said. "but you have to admit that actors are the hottest type of celebrity."

"nope, but suit yourself. you've obviously never seen harry styles."

"um, i have. we watched eternals together, remember?"

"oh, yeah! wouldn't he be perfect as caleb." she attempted to cajole me, delusionally.

"we already discussed that caleb is supposed to be cute."

"true, and we also discussed that you would be playing his love interest," she scoffed. "i would never let you steal my man."

i hesitated. "when are we actually gonna film that? it's been so long since we talked about it like it wasn't some wattpad fanfic."

"hey! my fanfics are film adaption worthy," she gushed. "have you not read my wolfstar fic? it's a masterpiece."

"maeve, i'm serious," i said.

she stared at me, her eyes reflecting the bright blue light from the paused eclipse on the screen. "girl, i don't know!"

i rolled my eyes. "that's what you said last time. i'm getting impatient and our film equipment is getting dusty."

she put her hand on my shoulder. "we will film it, i promise."

i nodded. part of me had a strange feeling we would have a breakthrough soon, but the other part was convinced it was a lost cause. my mom always told me to go with your gut, which in this case was that it will work out. so i took a deep breath and reminded myself that things will happen the way they should. i leaned back into the couch's cushion. "let's keep watching."

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

monday came along. i was still recovering from the all-nighter we pulled. can't say it was worth it -- the twilight series wasn't very enjoyable. maybe that was because maeve kept yelling at the screen or begging edward to choose her instead of bella.

my first period is always chemistry, which is rougher than the igneous rocks we studied in eighth grade earth science ( oh how i miss that time ). first of all, it's mrs fennel first thing in the morning. second, i think i'm the only one who doesn't have the energy in that class to be annoying at seven thirty. the only good thing about it is that my lab table is big enough for two people, but there's an odd amount of people in my class. yep, you guessed it -- i got lucky and have a table all to myself.

i walked in early, as usual. mrs fennel was somehow in a worse bad mood than she usually was that morning. i sat down gently, cautious of disturbing the "silence, please and thank you" she wrote on the smart board monitor. i think i was the only one who respected that, because everyone was chattering about... something, excitedly. my curiosity got the best of me, and i walked over to a group of people i kind of knew at the lab table in the front of the classroom.

"what is everyone talking about?"

this girl named madeline looked at me. "haven't you heard?"

"is this about that new kid," i asked.

another guy at the table spoke before madeline could answer. "he's not just a new kid. he's a famous actor, walker scobell?"

walker scobell... walker scobell... that name sounded so familiar. i must have seen him somewhere if i watch so many movies. i figured i would just look him up, so i pretended to know who they were talking about. "oh, cool!"

i made my way through the groups of girls arguing over who has enough game to date this walker kid. listening to people's conversations is kind of my thing i do in public, just for entertainment and some screenwriting inspiration. and this time, i figured i could also try and piece together who this was through their talking, because the school wifi is absolute shit. and so i placed my phone down on my table and rested my head in my palm, listening intently but looking at the front of the room.

"he's so fine," someone cried.

"come on, it was always my thing to like blonds. let me have my chance," said another. okay, got it. he's blond. so is ryan gosling. anything else?

"yeah, but he has those beautiful blue eyes, which you always said are creepy," she debated. blond and blue eyes, huh? he sounds like a ken doll. so was ryan gosling. what else does he have?

a third girl chimed in. "they fit him so well, though. and those dimples!" ooh, i love dimples. but it doesn't seem to ring a bell. she continued, "and, he's our age!" that narrows it down. ugh! the face to the name was on the tip of my tongue. maybe once i see him, i'll know--

"can i sit here?"

i whipped my head around to face the source of a familiar voice. oh shit, that's him. i have seen this guy before... on the screen. but in person, i never thought i would.

oh, yes -- i did think he was cute, at one point. a few years ago, i had this scenario in my head that he would see me on the street and ask me to be my valentine ( i was utterly delusional ). the fact that we were born in the same year and didn't have a concerning age gap made the idea of him feel like less of a daydream. and yet, he must have gotten lost in the crowd of celebrities i've fantasized about.

now he was a reality ( a very handsome one at that ). he was there, right in front of me. am i actually in a movie? i remember genuinely questioning this. this was something i definitely would have daydreamed about. but no, somehow a famous actor was casually in public school, specifically my public school. what the fuck was happening?

"yeah, of course." i nodded, kind of in shock still. i was not expecting this -- was not expecting that the rumor was true, that i would be directly involved with it. i squirmed in my seat a little as he set down his schoolbag next to the table.

madeline pointed to my table with her hand covering her mouth. she whisper-yelled to her friends, "oh my fucking gosh, there he is!" i tensed up. everyone turned to look at us. walker looked around, obviously embarrassed. the bell rang, and everyone got back to their usual seats. oh, he must have chosen to sit by me because there was no schoolbag hogging the chair next to me. i didn't know if that was a blessing or a curse. all i knew was that the boy sitting next to me was extremely cute, and that my cheeks were definitely bright red by then.

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thank you for reading chapter 1!