SENA'S POV
"Sena, this way please." The photographers call and I look their way, giving them my best smile so bright and genuine that it almost hurts. It's another day of photo shoots, interviews, and events, but my mind is still back at Heeseung's apartment, replaying our conversation over and over again. I'm dressed in a stunning gown, the fabric flowing elegantly around me as I move, but inside, I feel anything but elegant. There's a knot in my stomach whenever I think about Heeseung, Ujin, or just everything that's happening in my life right now.
"Sena, could you please look this way?" I tear my gaze away from the distant horizon, focusing on the photographer in front of me. With a practiced smile, I turn towards the camera, trying to push aside the thoughts of Heeseung that threaten to consume me. But no matter how hard I try to distract myself, his presence lingers in the back of my mind, like a persistent whisper that refuses to be ignored. "Can you say anything about your relationship with Lee Heeseung? Any comments about it?"
"I... uh..." I stutter, feeling a flush of embarrassment creeping up my cheeks. Without saying a word, I raise my hand to show the ring sitting on my finger and the flash of cameras intensifies. I smile a little, like a shy bride-to-be so it doesn't look fake. By now, everyone is convinced Heeseung and I are real after we posted our engagement pictures and I posted a picture of Raven, his cat, in his place. But the fact that Ujin knows the truth, that he could just expose everything with a single word, hangs over me like a dark cloud.
He hadn't texted me or called me since that night, and I know he's waiting for me to call him, to explain what happened and apologize like I always do. But I'm too tired of that, of always being the one to reach out and make things right. I'm tired of constantly apologizing for his behavior, for making excuses for him, for pretending that everything is okay when it's not. But despite my exhaustion, despite my frustration, there's a part of me that still feels guilty, that still wonders if I'm doing the right thing by staying silent.
"Senny, come on, we need to get going," Steph calls from a distance and I excuse myself, walking away from the red carpet and the photographers who are, most probably, more interested in my relationship with Heeseung than my actual career. I plaster on a smile as I make my way over to Steph who's waiting for me inside the place. So many influencers were invited tonight, along with some celebrities who have graced the event with their presence.
The way people are staring at me makes me so self-conscious I can feel their eyes boring into me, dissecting every move I make, every word I utter. I know this is what comes with being associated with Heeseung who has more public attention than I ever did. I smile at everyone who stares at me so there's no mean girl stories about me later on, and then I see her, Hana, staring at me with a smirk playing on her lips that quickly changes into the fakest smile I've ever seen when she notices that I've caught her gaze. My heart sinks at the sight of her, the perfume incident still fresh in my mind. I try to ignore her, focusing on Steph's conversation instead, but I can feel Hana's eyes on me, judging me, mocking me.
"I would have grabbed her by the hair and dragged her to the ground if hundreds of cameras weren't trained on us," Steph mutters under her breath and I notice the way she's glaring at Hana. "She's the most petty and immature person I've ever met. Why would she wear the same heels as you? There are millions of black heels and she chooses to wear the same ones as you? The managers discuss these issues before events so that things like this don't happen, and yet here we are."
I know it's not just a coincidence that Hana chose to wear the same heels as me to this event. She's deliberately trying to provoke me. But if I say she's copying me or trying to start a fight, I'll be labeled as paranoid or petty. So, I choose to ignore her, to pretend like her actions don't bother me, even though they do. I smile at Steph and pat her back. "The fact that she's wearing the same heels doesn't mean they look good on her. She can still copy my style, but she'll never have my taste."
"Senny, you're hot as fuck." Steph's comment catches me off guard, and I can't help but burst out laughing. "Scandalous, I know. Come on, let's find our seats before I decide to start a brawl with Hana." I laugh again and from the corner of my eye, Hana is watching us, her expression unreadable. She can go to hell, I don't give a fuck about her petty games. I refuse to let her ruin my night or my mood.
The event goes well; the food is so exquisite, and the presentations are inspiring. A couple sits across from me and Steph and I wonder if Heeseung would be down to attend such an event with me someday. He's known for not attending events, not being a social butterfly, not being one to enjoy crowds or formal gatherings. Even when he was the ambassador of some luxury brands, he never did more than photoshoots and collaborations. But perhaps this type of event could interest him, he even made a social media account and started posting so that's a positive sign of him opening up to new experiences.
The day when I woke up and found out he only followed me, I swear I was about to scream. Okay, maybe I did scream, and maybe I even did a little happy dance in my pajamas. But then reality came crashing down, as it always does. I realized that maybe it wasn't such a big deal for him to follow me. Maybe he was just being polite, or maybe he followed me out of obligation since we are going to be married and we need people to believe our little lie. Maybe he didn't even give it a second thought. And suddenly, my excitement turned into disappointment for some reason.
"Are you going back home?" I ask Steph when the event comes to an end and I take off my heels, replacing them with a pair of white sneakers that my feet could breathe in. My toes wiggle in relief as I slip into the comfortable shoes and I smile. "I still have to meet my siblings. They're here for two days or so, you know I need to meet them so that my parents don't think I'm avoiding them."
"Of course, family first," She says. "I'll catch up with you later then. Take care, okay?" With that, I get inside my father's red wine car which makes everyone's eyes dart its way when we drive through the city. The chauffeur knows I'm meeting my siblings so he drives straight to the central hospital where the trio works. Min Woo, Yejin, and Ujin. I just hope I don't come across him tonight, I'm too tired to be emotionally drained.
The car pulls up in front of the building and I step out, suddenly conscious of my outfit among the hospital staff in their scrubs and lab coats. Still, one of the reasons I started loving Ujin was how attractive he looked in scrubs. He was just so confident, effortlessly commanding attention without even trying. Maybe that's why, in my mind, he's always the right one and I'm always the one who needs to reassure him, to fix things, to make him happy.
I smooth down my dress, feeling a bit out of place as I make my way to the elevator. I press the button for the floor when my siblings work and wait as I ascend, staring at my reflection in the mirror. When did I have such doubts about myself? I used to be so confident, so sure of who I was and what I wanted. But lately, it feels like I'm constantly questioning myself, my choices, my worth. It's exhausting.
The elevator dings, pulling me out of my thoughts, and the doors slide open to reveal the familiar hallway of the hospital. The sound of footsteps and chatter fills the air as doctors, nurses, and patients move about their day. I make my way to my brother's office when my two siblings are supposed to be waiting for me, and after I knock, his voice calls out. "Come in."
I push open the door, stepping into the small but cozy office where Min Woo is sitting behind his desk, typing away on his computer. His glasses sit perched on the bridge of his nose, and his expression is focused as he works. Yejin is leaning against the couch, reading a document that's supposed to be about a heart disease I once saw when I was a medical student. They look busy, they always do, but they also look close. The two of them have so much in common that I always feel like a third wheel when we're together. Yet, despite that feeling, I'm glad to see them after so long.
"Oh, Sena, hi," Min Woo looks up from his screen and stands up, and all I do is walk to him and wrap my arms around him in a tight hug. I love this comfort he provides, this familiarity that fills me with so much warmth. This love that my father could never give me. "It's good to see you, little sis." Right now, no matter how chaotic my life is, I'm reminded that I have a family.
Yejin smiles warmly at me from her spot on the couch. "Hey, Sena. How have you been?" I pull away from my brother and allow her to hug me when she stands up, letting go of the documents in her hands. "Gosh, you smell so good. What perfume are you wearing?" Yes, this is what I've been yearning for. This familiarity, this warmth, this feeling of being home.
We chat for a while, catching up on each other's lives. Min Woo tells me about this surgery he performed last month and how he's going to be rewarded for it, and Yejin vents about how hard her job has been these days, and how she rarely gets any sleep. I listen. "What about you?"
"Nothing much. You know, events and parties," I smile awkwardly, keeping the conversation light and avoiding any mention of Ujin or Heeseung. "Just trying to stay busy." Min Woo raises his eyebrow and I know the two of them know about my sudden engagement, but neither asks about it because they know if it's not me running to them with the news of my engagement, there's probably a reason behind it. And honestly, I'm grateful for their discretion. I'm not ready to talk about Heeseung or the mess that is in my life. "I should probably go. See you at home, I guess."
After talking for a while, I step out of the office and decide it's time to go back home. All I can think about is a hot bath and eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. As I make my way back to the elevator, I absentmindedly push the button to the ground floor and wait for the elevator doors to open. The elevator dings and I step outside but the sight of Ujin makes me pause. I freeze, not because I'm startled to see him, but because Hana is hugging him, smiling brightly, his arms wrapped around her in a tight embrace.
My heart sinks as I realize what this means. They're together. Ujin and Hana. The two people who have hurt me the most, hugging each other as if nothing is wrong.