"Are you okay?" Katherine asks. She walks towards me and wraps her tiny arms around me. It's odd that her frail arms can feel so comforting.
"Yea, well no. But I will be. Thank you for
making him leave," I tell her and she hugs me tighter, my tears are flowing now and I don't see
and end in sight.
"Don't thank me, Stefan may be my friend but you are my friend too and I don't want him
upsetting you. I am sorry, this is all my fault. If I wouldn't have let him come around you all the time. He can be a real dick."
"No, it's not your fault at all. I am sorry, I don't want to come in between your friendship. I just need him to not come to our room anymore."
"Of course, I will get the key back from him. I knew I should have given it to Tyler anyway," she says and I laugh lightly and pull out of her embrace. I appreciate her being here for me more than she will ever know. I feel completely alone, Matt is taking time to consider whether to break up with me or not, Stefan is an asshole, my mother would lose it if I talked to her about this, and Ian would be disappointed. I literally have no one except this girl who's into rock bands and shit who I never expected to become my friend, but I am so glad she did.
"So do you want to talk about it?" She asked and I nod. I do actually, I want to get it all off of my chest.
I tell her everything from the first time I kissed Stefan in his room to the way, our day at the stream, the orgasm I made him have last night, the way he called my name in his sleep, and the way he destroyed every ounce of respect I had for him when he made me tell Matt. Her face goes from concerned to shocked to sad during my story. My shirt is soaked with tears by the time I finish and she is holding my hand.
"Wow, I had no idea that so much happened.
You could have told me after the first time. I knew something was up when Stefan showed up here the night we were going to the movies, I had literally just got off the phone with him,
then he showed up here. I had suspected he
came here to see you, now I knew I was right. Stefan is a good guy, sometimes. I mean deep down he is he just doesn't know how to really care for someone the way that you, well most
girls need to be cared for. If I was you, I would try to make things work with Matt because Stefan isn't capable of being anyone's boyfriend." She says and squeezes my hand. I know everything she is saying is true and she is right, so why does it hurt so bad?
"Do you want to get some ice-cream? There is
a good place right off campus, we can walk," she asks. I wipe my tears and nod. It is only noon and if I sit in this room any longer I will go
insane.
...
Ian is leaning against the brick outside the coffee house waiting for me on Monday morning.
"What happened to your eye?" He has a blue- purple ring around his left eye and now that
I look closer I see another bruise on his cheek.
Realization hits me like a truck. "Ian! Did Stefan do this?" My voice is shaky.
"Yea.." he admits and I am horrified.
"Why? What happened?" I want to kill Stefan
for hurting Ian.
"He stormed out of the house after you left and then came back about an hour later, he was so pissed. He started trying to find more stuff to break so I stopped him. It wasn't so bad actually, I think both of us got a lot of our anger towards each other. I got quite a few good hits on him too," he laughs and my mouth falls open.
I am surprised at Ian's light tone while talking about him and Stefan fighting.
"Are you sure you're okay? Is there anything I can do?" I asked him. I feel like this is my fault, Stefan was mad because of me, but I can't imagine him being mad enough to physically hurt Ian.
"No, really I am okay." He smiles.
"What did your mom say when she got home?"
I asked him.
While we walk to class he tells me how Stefan's father broke up their fight, luckily they arrived home before they killed one another and how his mother cried when she realized Stefan broke her dishes. He says they didn't have any sentimental value, but she was hurt that Stefan would do that nonetheless.
"But in other news, much better news, Nikki is coming to visit next weekend. She is coming to
the bonfire with me." He smiles.
"Bonfire?" I haven't heard anything about
a bonfire.
"Yea, haven't you seen the signs all over campus? It's an annual thing, to start the new year. Everyone goes. I am not usually into stuff like that, but it's actually pretty good time. You should have Matt come up again and we can make a double date out of it." If Ian only knew I had been cheating on Matt with Stefan and that me and Matt may or may not be broken up. I smile and nod. Maybe I should invite Matt so he can see that I have a friend like Ian. I know Stefan and Ian.. I mean Matt and Ian would get along great, and I really want to meet Nikki.
Now that Ian has mentioned the bonfire, I
notice signs littering almost every wall. I guess I was just too distracted by Stefan all week to notice. Before I know it I am in literature, scanning the room for Stefan, despite my subconscious reminding me not to. I don't see him and he isn't in his normal seat next to me. "I will ruin her" his voice plays in my head. What could he possibly do that is worse than outing me in front of Matt? I don't know, nor do I ever
want to find out.
"I don't think he is here, I heard him talking to that Damon guy about switching his classes around. I do wish you could see his black eye though," Ian smiles and my eyes snap to the front of the room. I want to deny that I was looking for Stefan but I know I can't. Stefan has a black eye? I hope he is okay, no I don't actually, I hope
it hurts like hell.
"Oh, okay," I mumble and pick at my shirt. Ian doesn't mention Stefan for the rest of the
class.
The rest of the week is the exact same way, I don't talk about Stefan to anyone and no one mentions him to me. Katherine almost slips a few times but quickly recovers and moves on. Liam has been hanging out in our room all week but I don't mind, I actually really like him and he makes Katherine laugh, and even I found myself laughing a few times during what seems to be the worst week of my life. I have been wearing whatever is clean and pulling my hair into a bun everyday. My short lived affair with eyeliner had ended and I am back to my normal routine. Sleep, class, study, eat, sleep, class, study, eat.
"Come on Elena, it's Friday, just come with us and we will drop back off before we go to Stef.. I mean the party," Katherine begs and I shake my head. I don't feel like doing anything, I need to study and call my mother. I have been dodging her calls all week and I want to call Matt and find out if he has made a decision. I have been giving him his space all week, only sending him a few texts in hopes that he will come around. I really want him to come to the bonfire next Friday.
"I think I will pass.. I am going to look at cars tomorrow, I need my rest," I half lied. I really am going to look at cars tomorrow but I know I won't be getting rest sitting here alone with my thoughts. I should feel resolved, besides Matt's uncertainty of our relationship. At least I don't have to worry about Stefan anymore. He was obviously serious about staying away from me and I am glad. I just can't shake him from my thoughts, I just need more time. I keep telling myself. The way he tried to act like he wanted something from me, maybe even date me, got under my skin.
My thoughts drift off to a place where Stefan was pleasant and funny, and we got along. A place where we could date, really date, and he would take me out to the movies or to dinner. He would put his arm around me and be proud that I was his, he would drape his jacket over my shoulders if I was cold and kiss me goodnight, promising me that he would see me tomorrow.
"Elena?" Katherine says and my thoughts disappear with a puff of smoke. That wasn't reality and the boy in my daydream would never
be Stefan.
"Oh come on, you have been wearing those fuzzy cloud pants all week," Liam teases and I laugh.
These pants are my favorite to wear to bed, especially when I am sick, or like this week going through a break up or two, I am still
confused on how Stefan and I ended something that was nothing.
"Okay. Okay, I will come but I need you to drop me off right after dinner because I have studying to do and I have to get up early," I warn her and she claps her hands and jumps up and down.
"Yay! Just please let me do you a favor?" She asks with an innocent smile while she bats her
lashes.
"What?" I whine, knowing she is up to no good.
"Let me give you a little makeover?
Pleeaasseee!" She draws out the words for
dramatic purposes.
"No way!" I can picture with pounds of makeup or eyeliner, wearing only a bra for a shirt.
"Nothing too dramatic, I just want to make you look.. like you haven't been hiding out in pajamas all day," she smiles and Liam tries to stifle
his laugh.
"Fine." I give in and she claps again.