"RADIO KILLED THE VIDEO STAR"
I know Vaggie is technically a fallen angel, but nobody really knows she is one yet, and I kind of see exorcists as a different "breed"? than regular angels.
•••
Vox sighs deeply, making his way down the hallway of his department. He plasters a fake charismatic smile onto his face, nodding in acknowledgement to the many employees he passes along his way. Stopping in front of the door to the bedroom he'd so graciously given to you, his smile grows. Vox pushes the door open.
"Good morning, Y/N!" He exclaims, only to hesitate. The sheets are ruffled and the bed is unmade, the window is left open— the breeze causing the sheer curtains to wave back and forth. His eyes snap over to the dresser, expecting a note or something, but he finds nothing. "Fuck!"
Not bothering to plaster his smile back on, he zips through the electrical wiring of the tower until he appears inside Velvette's department, where she's judging a series of models— all of whom present to her their own custom designs.
"Velvette, my dear!" Vox's voice startles her, and she growls and turns to face him.
Velvette scolds, "What is it, Vox? I'm busy!" She crosses her arms and sneers.
Vox clears his throat and places a hand on her shoulder, pulling her closer so that he can confidently speak without anyone else overhearing. "The angel isn't in their room."
"What the fuck do you mean?"
"I mean they're not in there!" Vox growls. He sighs and closes his eyes, simultaneously viewing every security camera he has stationed in the tower. He opens his eyes again. "They're not fucking here."
"Damn it!" Velvette throws her hands up in frustration. "Well, find them, you idiot! You can't let someone else scoop them up and profit off them!"
Vox scoffs and melts back into the wiring. Velvette sighs and claps her hands loudly, attracting the attention of her employees.
"Alright! You, Veronica, get over here and pick the best design! I've got to tend to the piss babies!" She announces, storming out into the hallway and into the elevator.
———
"Okay. So, the angel is gone! Haha... it's fine! Let's all calm down." Vox leans back in his chair, analyzing the irritated expressions of Velvette and Valentino. "I'll put out the news broadcast I was already going to about the arrival of a fallen angel in Hell, that way we can sort of... stake a claim on being the first ones to find them. Val, ask your whores if they've seen them, and Velvette—"
"I'm already checking my socials, Vox." Velvette waves her hand, scrolling through her phone. "I'll let you know the second anyone posts anything."
"Aha, Velvette, what ever would we do without you?" Vox smiles, his eyes narrowing slightly in frustration. "I'll also be checking the cameras around the Pentagram. Don't worry! That cash cow is still ours for the taking!"
"They'd better be. They were cute, too." Valentino pouts, slumping into his chair and snarling. "How the fuck do we make sure no one else snatches them? An angel in Hell is a big deal, anyone who realizes what they are will want a taste. Your little broadcast might have everyone fighting to get their hands on them first."
"Relax, Val! I've got it covered." Vox waves his hand dismissively. "Who would be stupid enough to fuck with property of the Vees?"
Velvette and Valentino exchange a knowing glance, which Vox recognizes, but chooses not to acknowledge.
———
"Top of the hour, and we're discussing quite the anomaly!" Vox cheers, spinning around in his swivel chair until he's facing the cameras pointing toward him. "An angel, fallen from grace and landing here in our humble Hell." He grins proudly, an image of you being displayed in the corner of the screen behind him. "What did they do to be banished? Who are they? Are they dangerous? So many questions, and luckily for you, I've got the answers!"
Vox chuckles and kicks his feet up, positioning his hands behind his head.
"A sweet angel, scorned by Heaven, scared and confused here in Hell!" He throws his arms out, laughing. "And we here at VoxTek are pleased to announce that said angel just happens to have become an ally of ours! With one of their very own on VoxTek's side, it's safe to say that VoxTek: Angelic Security, coming soon, will be worth every cent— trust us with your safety! After all, who knows best about angels than our very own, personal angel?"
Vox folds his hands in his lap.
"Stay tuned, folks, because we've got projects never before seen by Hell, with the help of Hell's first fallen angel since Lucifer himself!"
———
"Huh." Angel Dust hums, hugging his knees to his chest as he watches Vox's broadcast on his cell phone. He glances across the parlor at you, standing by the wall and talking animatedly with Charlie.
"What is it you're watching on your picture box, my effeminate fellow?" Alastor asks cheerfully, standing behind the sofa that Angel Dust is sat on. Angel Dust flinches and clears his throat.
"Oh— it's just the news." He stammers, raising his phone up for Alastor to get a better view of his screen. "It makes sense, I guess. Their blood bein' gold and stuff. Didn't know they were workin' for the Vees, though..." He glances at you a second time.
"Hmm." Alastor raises an eyebrow and his grin widens. He pats Angel Dust's head, much to the latter's discomfort. "Not to worry! He always has been quite the overstater!"
He slips away from the arachnid porn star, sliding up beside you instead. "Charlie, my dear! Would you mind if I borrowed our new companion for a moment?"
Charlie widens her eyes and smiles softly. "Oh! Yeah, of course, go ahead! Y/N, we can talk more about all of this later, okay?"
"Wonderful!" Alastor beams, stepping in front of you. "You seem like an enjoyer of the classics! How would you like to see how my infamous radio broadcasts," Alastor waves his hands in a jazz motion. "Are made?"
Husker, who has been silently tending to the bar, hesitates. "Fuck, no. You ain't broadcasting their screams, Alastor."
"Who said anything about screams?" Alastor shrugs, his grin stretching further across his face.
You perk up, clapping your hands together. "That sounds amazing! I've always loved the radio! New technology is incredible, too, but how can you go wrong with old reliable?"
"Exactly!" Alastor agrees, spinning his microphone around in his hand. He offers his free hand out to you, and you accept it graciously. Alastor chuckles as he leads you out of the hotel. "You are quite trusting, aren't you?"
You walk alongside him, looking up at his face, which focuses straight ahead. "I suppose! On Earth, my mother always despised that part of me, and I think that distaste only fueled my trusting nature!" You laugh. "So rebellious!"
"Rebellious indeed, my friend!" Alastor leads you up a twisting case of stairs, stopping only when you reach the wooden door that leads to his "studio". "Why don't you do the honors?"
You turn the knob and push open the raggedy old door, which creaks in protest. You step inside and look around, admiring the humble interior. "How quaint!"
"Isn't it, though?" Alastor asks, proud of his own work. He places his hand on your lower back and guides you toward the front of the room. He encourages you to sit in one of the two seats, which you do without question. He takes the seat beside you. "So! An angel, hm? That's quite the secret!"
Raising your eyebrows in surprise, you look over at him. "Oh, it wasn't much of a secret. It's a bit embarrassing to admit to falling from grace, isn't it?" You laugh nervously, drumming your fingers on your lap.
"Quite the contrary! What's more impressive than being the first in centuries to be thrown from the pearly gates and into the fiery pits of sin?" Alastor's voice grows more and more warped and disoriented as he goes in. "To be a being of pure light, only to have that light extinguished bit by bit..." Abruptly, he brightens up again. "Anyway! How would you like to be a guest in my broadcast? It's been a while since I've done one, and what better way to come back than with someone as interesting as you by my side?"
"Aww!" You put a hand to your chest, falling for his malicious charm hook, line, and sinker. "When you put it like that, how could I refuse?"
———
"That lanky twink won't return my calls!" Valentino sneers, throwing his arms up in frustration, pacing back and forth behind Vox's swivel chair.
Vox, however, focuses on watching the camera feeds displayed in front of him. Cameras in every nook and cranny of the Pride ring, each displaying an entirely different angle. "He'll be back." He half-heartedly tries to soothe his fuming friend.
"Fucking Angel Dust!" Valentino growls. "Who does he think he is!? He thinks he can come here, work, and go back home somewhere else!? Shack up with Lucifer's bimbo daughter!?"
"Angel Dust is with the princess?" Vox raises an eyebrow, glancing at Valentino before turning his attention right back to his many monitors.
"Yeah, can you believe that shit?" Valentino huffs and crosses his arms, leaning against Vox's chair. "Charles or Chase or something mannish like that. Any sign of the angel yet?"
"No, and even if there were, I wouldn't know because you keep distracting me." Vox quips, glaring at his moth-like friend before looking at the monitors again. His gaze darts to the feed outside of the Hazbin Hotel, where he sees the neon sign hanging outside of Alastor's recording studio is lit up.
For the first time in seven years, mind you.
"Wait, what—" Vox scoffs, laughing in disbelief. He snaps his fingers, tuning into the only active radio channel. "No way. That fucker cannot be back."
"Oh... did I forget to tell you?" Valentino asks, glancing away sheepishly. Vox widens his eyes and opens his mouth to scream at him, but silences himself when he hears the radio become audible.
"Hello! Yes, I know it's been a while since I've blessed Hell with a broadcast! Sinners rejoice!" Alastor's warped voice rings through the room, Vox's body going rigid. "Providing a much needed break from the clout-chasing, mediocre, video podcasts that have consumed Hell! Even better, I'm joined by a very special guest. Say hello, my dear, no need to be shy!"
"Hello!" Your voice follows, and Vox's head glitches.
"Alastor... is staying with Lucifer's daughter... and is with the angel... and you didn't FUCKING tell me!?" Vox screams at Valentino, grabbing him by the shoulders as his voice glitches out uncontrollably.
"Hey, killing Alastor is your kink! Besides, I had no idea our precious angel was there. If I had, I'd have started with that." Valentino raises his hands in mock surrender.
"That's right! I'm here with a very angelic guest star! Ha-ha! Hell's first fallen angel in who-knows-how-long! They've become a very good friend of mine." Alastor brags, and Vox can practically hear the cocky smile on his lips. "It appears it's not just sinners that prefer the classics over Vox's desperate attempts at relevance!"
Your voice follows Alastor's. "Hey, I know Vox!" You exclaim.
"I'm sure you do! And what an unfortunate fate that is." Alastor laughs mockingly.
Vox grunts and slams his fist on the table, his eye twitching and glitching. His shoulders shake and his hands tremble. "That fucking PRICK!"
———
"We need to make sure that no deal is ever struck between Alastor and Lucifer's daughter." Vox says calmly, glancing between Valentino and Velvette. "And, with the skyrocketed curiosity about the angel, we need to retrieve them again, too."
"And how are we supposed to do anything about the radio demon and the princess?" Velvette asks, checking her nails.
"Put something inside them. That's how I get the bitches to behave." Valentino suggests, chuckling to himself and loading bullets into the gun in his hand.
"Mm. Maybe someone on the inside isn't such a bad idea. But who? Y/N is too nice and doesn't know us well enough... you think Angel would do it?" Vox asks, directing his gaze to Valentino.
"That ungrateful whore won't even text me back."
Velvette sighs and reluctantly meets Vox's gaze. "We need someone pathetic, desperate, with no direct ties to us."
Vox stands from his seat and stands by one of the floor-to-ceiling windows, his hands resting behind his back. He stares outside, watching the chaos on the streets unfold. "I think I have just the one."
———
You're seated with Alastor on the sofa, engaged in riveting conversation about the difference in popular radio shows between your time periods. Suddenly, there's a loud knock on the door, and Charlie perks up from across the parlor.
Charlie runs up to the door and swings it open, Vaggie stationed protectively behind her. Standing in the doorstep is a serpent-esque demon, surrounded by small egg creatures. "Hello, my dear—" The serpent begins, but Vaggie steps forward and punches him in the face. "Mmph!"
"You're the guy that attacked us last week!" Vaggie growls. Curious, you hop off the sofa and run over, poking your head over Vaggie's shoulders.
"I come in peaccce!" The serpent insists, making peace signs with his fingers and smiling nervously. "I heard that you are helping people! People that... want to be better?"
"You heard right!" Charlie squeals, shoving past Vaggie to grab the serpent's hands. "Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel! You are going to love it here!"
"Yo," Angel Dust protests, walking over as well. "This guy was trying to kill us, like, literally four days ago." He glances at you. "You weren't here yet." He then looks at Vaggie. "And you— aren't you supposed to protect this place?"
"Pleaseeee?" Charlie begs Vaggie, giving her the best puppy dog eyes she can muster up. Vaggie sighs and crosses her arms.
"I guess he's not much of a threat without his weapons." She confesses, and the serpent's eyes light up. "Or with his weapons." The serpent's shoulders slump.
Once he is allowed inside, he looks around curiously. Charlie grins and holds his hand, encouraging him to move inside faster. "You're Sir Pentious, right? This is Vaggie, Husker, Angel Dust, Niffty... oh, Y/N, you don't know Pentious yet, right?"
You smile and shake your head, stepping forward. You offer a hand to him. "Hello! I'm Y/N! Sir Pentious, huh? What a fun play on words!"
He stares at your hand for a moment, before awkwardly shaking it and smiling. "Yesss! Sssooo fun!"
You gasp, finally noticing the egg creatures that follow loyally behind him. You kneel down and reach out, patting one of them on the top of their shell. Within moments, they've all circled around you, and you're petting as many of them as you can reach. "How cute!"
"Thossse are my minions!" Sir Pentious announces, crossing his arms. "Do not treat them like—"
"Good boys!" You cheer, grinning happily as the eggs climb on your shoulders, lap, head, and tug on your arms. "Aww!"
Sir Pentious sneers, but gives up. Charlie leads him further into the hotel. "And this is Alastor! You remember him, right? This is a perfect time for your first lesson! Apologizing! Try it!" Charlie pushes Sir Pentious toward Alastor.
Alastor's eyes narrow as he looks down at Sir Pentious. "Ah, yes! You're the one that tore my coat! I definitely remember you, now."
"Haha... yesss!" Sir Pentious stammers nervously. "Alastor, radio demon, sir— I am very sorry for attacking you, and for damaging your very lovely coat!" He digs through his pocket and retrieves a piece of cloth, handing it out toward Alastor. "H-here."
"Ah! Not many people have been able to tear even this much off of me! It must have meant quite a lot to you." Alastor takes the fabric and burns it in his hand, green flames dancing around the melting cloth. Sir Pentious whimpers.
"Let's keep up with the tour!" Charlie beams, leading Sir Pentious upstairs.
You remain seated on the ground, nuzzling into the faces of the egg creatures like they're fuzzy puppies. Angel Dust glances at you, then at Sir Pentious's retreating form.
Your association with the Vees makes him nervous, and his own anxiety leads him to wonder if you're actually as innocent as you seem. Although, you certainly don't seem like you're pretending right now.
He'll worry about you later. You're harmless at the moment. For now, he's going to find out why the fuck Sir Pentious suddenly wants to redeem himself.