Everyone piles onto the bus, I'm still sat with my headphones just trying to block everyone out.
Leah sits next to me, she puts her hand on my thigh and kisses the side of my head. I smile weakly at her but go straight back into my own thoughts. I have no idea how I'm going to tell her, I need to tell her tonight before she finds out through social media.
The bus back to the training ground feels so long. Even though it's only 20 minutes, it feels like hours and hours. My heart feels like it's ripping out of my chest. I get to my car, Leah trails behind me.
Leah: baby wait? What's wrong?
Maddie: nothing, I just want to go home.
Leah: I know baby, come on, Bruno is waiting for us.
We get in the car and drive home.
I head straight to the shower whilst Leah sorts Bruno out.
I climb into bed before Leah comes upstairs. She sits on the bed
Leah: what's on your mind?
Maddie: I need to tell you something, you can't get mad at me.
Leah: okay?
Maddie: I've asked Jonas to go on loan for the rest of the season.
Leah: what?
Maddie: I just can't be here right now.
Leah: with me?
Maddie: no baby it's not that, I just can't be around everyone. I see how they look at me, how they act around me. I just need to be away from everyone.
Leah: you can't. You can't.
Maddie: I need to, for me.
Leah: what about me?!
Maddie: babe.
Leah: no no you can't! How can I protect you?!
Maddie: see? I don't need protecting, I just need to be treated normally.
Leah: what about us?
Maddie: nothing will change. We did it for 6 years, we can do it for 6 months, right?
Leah: but I want you here, with me.
Maddie: I want to be here, with you but I just need to be out of England for a while.
Leah: abroad? You're moving abroad?
Maddie: I need to baby.
Leah: if that's what you need. Then okay.
Maddie: okay?
Leah: you promise it won't change us?
Maddie: i promise my love.
Leah: okay. I love you.
Maddie: I love you too.
Leah gets changed and gets into bed.
She pulls me into her.
Leah: goodnight my love.
Maddie: goodnight.
She kisses the top of my head and I fall asleep.
The next few days are hectic. I've had a few offers from different clubs around the world. The most appealing one is from the NWSL, Orlando Pride. I've talked to Leah, who says I need to follow my heart. I don't know many people in America, apart from Rafa. Her and Leah were at arsenal together last season.
Maddie: will you be mad if I pick Orlando?
Leah: no baby, it's further than I expected but it's only till summer right?
Maddie: yeah, I just need something different to reset
Leah: question though, how are we going to plan our wedding?
Maddie: don't worry my love, it will happen this year, I don't break promises
I kiss her softly.
Leah: I'm proud of you.
Maddie: really?
Leah: of course my love.
Maddie: I love you.
Leah: I love you more than anything.
I kiss her again.
The rest of the day Jonas is setting up the loan. I'll be gone until July, which seems like a long time but Leah and I have done it before, so we can do it again.
The next day the loan is announced.
Arsenals Post:
(Imagine Lotte and Viv are Maddie in these)
@arsenalwfc: wishing you all the best at Orlando Pride @maddieowen.
The striker will join Orlando pride for the rest of the season, joining back in July.
Comments:
@bethmead: Good luck Mads, see you soon🫶🏻
@jenbeattie: Good luck kiddo🤍
@leahwilliamson: 🤍❤️
@fan1: no she can't leave us now.
@fan2: no no no no no
@fan3: I can't believe you're letting her do this. We need our number 12.
I'm stood in the airport, saying goodbye to Leah. I said bye to my family at our house, now it's just us two.
Leah: call me when you land, call me when you get to your flat okay?
Maddie: I will baby, I love you, so much.
Leah: I love you more, I'll miss you.
Maddie: look after our boy okay?
Leah: I will my love, now go before you miss your flight.
Maddie: okay. See you soon?
Leah: you will beautiful now go.
I kiss her. I kiss her over and over.
After a bit I walk through to security. And that's it. I'm alone again. For 6 months, I won't have Leah by my side.
Leah's POV:
I'm stood in the airport after waving Maddie off. Is it bad I miss her already? I wish all of this didn't happen so she would be at arsenal with us, with me.
I head home, Maddie family have gone, it's just my mum and dad.
Amanda: she get off okay?
Leah: ye-yeah.
I tear up.
Amanda: oh bubba.
Mum pulls me into a hug and I start sobbing.
Amanda: she will be back in no time.
Leah: I miss her already.
Amanda: I know bubba, I know.
Mum calms me down, dad's in the kitchen making lunch.
I slump down on the sofa when Maddie calls me.
Leah: hey baby, aren't you on the plane?
Maddie: am I being stupid by doing this?
Leah: what?
Maddie: am I doing the right thing?
Leah: babe, for you, yes you are.
Maddie: I just don't think I can be away from you.
Leah: babe, we can do this, you can do this.
Maddie: are you sure? It's not too late for me to come home.
Leah: baby, you need to do this.
Maddie: are you sure? Like sure sure?
Leah: I'm sure sure. I love you fiancée, now go rip up the NWSL.
Maddie: okay. I love you Leah.
Leah: I love you Maddie.
The call ends and Bruno sits next to me. He puts his head on my lap and I start stroking him.
A few minutes later there's a knock at the door.
I stand up and open it.
Beth: right, I've got snacks, I've got pyjamas and I've brought myle.
Leah: oh hello princess, what are you doing here?
I pick myle up and hold her tightly.
Beth: we've come to cheer you up.
Leah: you're the best.
Beth: I know
Beth comes in the house and sees Amanda and David.
They all chat whilst I sit on the sofa, not really listening.
Maddie POV:
I land in Orlando. I call Leah and she's happy I'm there safely. I get into a car and head straight to the training ground. It's 4pm in Florida, I'm so tired but I have to get ready to start my new chapter.
Haley: it's so great to meet you Maddie.
Maddie: it's great to meet you too.
Haley: so you're here on loan until July, with no option to extend your stay, however you can stay if you'd like.
Maddie: I'll see, my fiancée is in England so I can't move here permanently.
Haley: that's fair enough, with what you went through in England, we want to support you. So if Sarina makes the wrong choice by not picking you, through international breaks we will let you go home to your family, it'll be an adjustment but we are here to help okay?
Maddie: yeah that's great, thank you
Haley: no problem at all, right do you want to meet the team? They are all excited to have you here Maddie.
Maddie: yeah let's do it.
Haley: brilliant, follow me.
I follow Haley to the meeting room, she's lovely and I'm glad I can see Leah if I need to.
Haley: right ladies, please welcome Maddie to the team, she will be here until July.
Maddie: hey guys, I can't wait to play with you all.
Rafa: MADDIE!
Rafa walked in late after being at medical.
Maddie: hey Rafa.
She hugs me tightly.
Rafa: how are you kid?
Maddie: I'm good
Rafa: good to have you here mate.
Maddie: fresh start ey?
Marta: welcome to the club Maddie. You were immense at Aston Villa, used to watch out for you.
Maddie: wow, that means a lot.
Megan: yeah you are one hell of a player, can't wait to see what you can do.
Maddie: bright and early tomorrow, can't wait to get started.
Haley: right girls, I'll see you here at 9am tomorrow.
I chat to the girls before I head to my new flat. It's beautiful, looking over Orlando city. I can't wait to get started.
I get into bed because I'm so tired, it's late at home, it's around 11pm in London. But I try and call Leah anyway. There's no answer so I'm guessing she's asleep.
I make some food and eat it in bed watching some tv before I fall asleep around 9pm.
I didn't really sleep much, jet lag is hitting me hard but I push through. It's around 4am and I've already been awake since 3ish. Leah is calling me.
Maddie: hi beautiful.
Leah: I'm sorry I missed your call, I was asleep. What time is it there?
Maddie: 4am.
Leah: babe, what are you doing up?
Maddie: jet lag is killing me.
Leah: oh baby, how did meeting the team go yesterday?
Maddie: it went well, they are all lovely.
Leah: and Rafa, how's she doing?
Maddie: she's great
Leah: good, I'm glad. Babe I have to head to training now, I'll call you later?
Maddie: okay, I love you.
Leah: I love you too, have a good day, try and get some more sleep.
Maddie: I will, bye gorgeous.
Leah: bye my love.
The call ends. I end up just sitting on my balcony for a while just taking in the view. I don't think I'll ever get over it.
Some time goes by and it's 7am, I start getting ready for training, I have something to eat before setting off to get there early, first impressions and that.
I'm the first one there. I head straight to the pitches and start working on my game. It's starting to get a bit hotter but I don't really mind, I'm drinking plenty of water so I'll be okay.
I'm practicing my free kicks around some manikins. I'm scoring every single one, it feels great to be here. I look at the time and it's around 8.45 so I turn around to head inside and see the whole team looking at me in shock.
Maddie: what?
Megan: nothing, you just scored some absolutely insane free kicks.
Maddie: oh it's nothing.
I laugh it off when Haley walks up to me.
Haley: in all my years playing and managing, I've never seen anyone score that many in a row.
Maddie: really?
Haley: yeah.
Maddie: oh right.
Haley: can't wait for our first training session
Maddie: I just couldn't sleep so I thought I'd come train a bit.
Haley: jet lag?
Maddie: yeah.
Haley: we will get that sorted, come on team meeting.
Maddie: okay.
We have a meeting about tactics and plays before our first game against Gotham. They won last season so they are our biggest competition, if we can win the first game it would be insane, considering they are on a 23 game win streak.
Haley: right girls, you know the plan for training, let's go.
The girls all pile out to the training pitches, I follow talking to a few of the girls. They have been so welcoming it's been great.
I train really well, I feel like I'm at home with this team. We are going 1v1, me vs Rafa.
Rafa is one of the best defenders I've ever played with, she controls the ball so well. I've played against her a few times when I was at Villa, I could get past her a few times but not a lot.
I'm pushing forward, shes standing looking at me, I dribble the ball, I step over the ball knock it one way, then the other and manage to get a shot on goal, and it's goes in. I do this a few times, she gets frustrated because I get past her a lot.
Rafa: I had no idea you were THAT good.
Maddie: nah, just luck I guess.
Rafa: not a chance kid. You're insane.
Haley sets a challenge with me against all the defenders. I get past them all and score every time.
Haley: right that's enough for today ladies, hit the showers. Maddie, a word?
Maddie: yeah.
Everyone starts walking in.
Haley: I'm starting you against Gotham.
Maddie: what?
Haley: we need you against them. Trust me, you're ready.
Maddie: okay, thanks.
Haley: great job today.
Maddie: thank you.
I walk in and get showered and changed ready to head home.
Megan: Maddie!
Maddie: what's up?
Megan: we are going to the beach tonight, you are welcome to join.
Maddie: okay great, what time?
Megan: 7pm, going to watch the sun set.
Maddie: okay, I'll see you there.
Megan: I'll text you the location later.
Maddie: great, see you later.
I head home, my flat is only a 10 minute walk from the training ground so I just walk home. It's easier than sitting in traffic.
I get home and sit on the balcony. I facetime Leah, it's 4 pm so it's only 9 at home.
Leah: there she isss, how was your first day?
Maddie: so so so good.
Leah: ah baby that's great, I'm so proud of you.
Maddie: Haley said I'm starting against Gotham.
Leah: babe! That's good, what are you doing tonight, anything good?
Maddie: going to the beach with the girls.
Leah: that will be nice
Maddie: yeh it will, how was your day?
Leah: it was good, everyone misses you, they are all asking how you are getting on.
Maddie: I miss them all too
Leah: Bruno misses you too.
Maddie: I miss him, where is he?
Leah: he's here.
Leah points the camera at Bruno, he's looking at the front door.
Maddie: he's waiting for me?
Leah: yeah he is, he misses his mum.
Maddie: I miss him so much.
Leah: I bet you do
Leah and I talk for a while before she goes to bed and says bye to me.
I get ready to go to the beach with the girls.
I head to the beach where Megan said to go. Rafa and marta are already there.
The rest of the girls turn up a bit later. We all have a chat and a laugh. We watch the sun set.
I post this on my instagram story:
I am really loving my time here. I'm so happy I did this, even if I am 4336 miles away from Leah.