POV: HARRY
A week passed and the doctors said I can go home.
My mom doesn't want me to go to school yet, but I don't want to be alone anymore.
Should I be afraid? Maybe. Most people probably know what happened. I just have to get ready for those meaningless words "I'm so sorry", "I'm so glad you're back".
They can all kiss my ass.
I walk into school with my head held high as if the whole suicide attempt thing never happened. I'm actually very stressed, but others don't have to know about it.
If I'm more like Louis, they'll be afraid to approach me and I won't have to talk to them.
Just be like Louis. Just be like the handsome dickhead.
Cold, mean, mysterious.
I'm walking down the hall, I feel the eyes of curious students on me.
I want to hide. I want to disappear. I don't want to be in school anymore.
No.
Cold, mean, mysterious.
I'm looking for my friends.
Out of the corner of my eye I see people I know, but we are no longer friends.
They give me worried looks, but I ignore them. I just walk past them.
I'm looking for my new friends.
I see Niall's blonde hair. I silently approach them.
"Hi..." I speak in a hoarse voice.
Since Louis stopped visiting me in the hospital, even though he said he would keep coming, I haven't talked to anyone. Even to my mom so my voice is kinda unused at the moment.
"Jesus, Harry. You're here." Niall hugs me. "We're so glad to see you." He moves away to his arm's length, but his hands still rest on my shoulders. The blonde adds in a quieter voice. "How do you feel? Does it still hurt?"
"I'm fine... Yeah it's still kinda stings sometimes... But I'm better now. I'm sorry you had to see me like this..." I look down. I'm embarrassed.
"Oh Harry, don't be sorry. Nothing happened. Really." Zayn says with a slight smile on his face.
"Where's Louis?" I ask.
"He hasn't come to school lately. When we asked what he was talking about, he said something about cleansing the spirit." Liam laughs. "He's probably sitting stoned as fuck somewhere."
I chuckle. "A very possible scenario."
I try to pretend I'm not worried, but it's not true. I wonder what he did during those days when he was neither at the hospital nor at school.
"Hey, Harry... Can we talk?"
We all turn towards the tall brunette boy.
"Fuck off, McClair." Zayn says in an arrogant tone as he looks Jake up and down.
"I'm not talking to you, Malik." My ex-friend turns to me and has a sad look on his face. "Please, Harry. I just need a moment. That's all I want."
I sigh. "Fine."
Jake and I move more to the side of the hall to have some privacy. I feel my friends' eyes on my back as they lead me away.
"So? What is it?" I say with my arms crossed.
"I wanted to apologize to you. I was stupid, I know. I shouldn't have said all these things, and after your..." Jake puts his hands in his front pockets, lowers his head, and shifts his weight from one leg to the other. "You know..."
"After my suicide attempt? What? Do you feel guilty? Is that why you're apologizing to me now? To ease your conscience?" I speak in a sharp tone.
I won't give him the satisfaction of purging himself of guilt.
Cold, mean, mysterious.
In fact, I will let him suffer like this. He deserves it. I lost all respect for him. Now he is nothing to me.
Jacob McClair is officially just a piece of shit to me.
The brunette still doesn't look at me.
I chuckle. "What's going on, honey? Are you afraid to look at me? My poor Jake..." I say in caring, but sarcastic, voice. "And to be honest, yes. You think well. I did it because of your words and everyone else in our fucking group of friends." I tilt my head to the side. "And no, I will not forgive you. Bye bye Jake." I smirk and walk away, back to my boys.
Cold, mean, mysterious.
What I said isn't 100% true, but he doesn't need to know that.
Have I been an asshole? Possible. But I'm not really interested in that at the moment.
"What did you say him? The guy looks shocked." Zayn says to me with a little smirk.
"I may have slightly bent the truth. But what can I do, he deserves it. Let him suffer." I say.
The three of them look at me slightly surprised.
"Damn, Harry. That was cold. I think you're spending too much time with Louis." Liam chuckles.
I shrug. Liam may be right that Tomlinson influenced my behavior, but I don't care. Now I feel stronger. As if I was above everyone else.
*
After class, I decided to look for Louis. I may be rude and cold towards others, but I'm still myself. I'm still Harry who worries about his loved ones.
I asked Niall for Louis' address under the pretense of giving him back his Spanish notebook.
I'm walking along the sidewalk and I see a small house with the boy coming out of it.
I quickly hide behind a bush. I want to know what he's doing.
Louis gets into the car and drives in the opposite direction from me.
Fuck.
After a while, I leave my hiding place and run so as not to lose sight of my friend's car.
I see him suddenly turn into an alley. I run even faster and when I reach the turn, I calm my breathing as much as I can and enter the mysterious alley.
I see his car parked in the middle. I carefully approach the driver's door to see if he's there.
He's gone.
What the f-
Suddenly, something tugs at the back of my sweatshirt, turns me around quickly, and my back hits the car.
"Are you fucking following me, Styles?" Louis asks me. His face is very close to mine and his hands are clenched on the fabric of the sweatshirt near my neck.
"How did you..."
"Oh, c'mon. Did you really think I wouldn't notice you were following me?" He looks at me with slight contempt. "What were you even thinking?!"
"I just wanted to see what you were doing because you stopped visiting me when I was still in the hospital and you haven't come to school for a few days either." I say with a shaky voice.
I may feel more powerful, but with Louis I lose all my confidence.
Especially when he holds me like that and looks like he's about to hit me.
"You're an idiot! Fucking idiot! Don't ever follow me again. Never." He speaks menacingly through gritted teeth.
Shivers run through my entire body.
"Do you understand me Britney?" He asks.
I nod slightly.
"I didn't hear you. Have I made myself clear?"
"Y-yes..."
"Yes what?"
"Yes, y-you made yourself clear..."
The older boy lets me go. "Good. Now get the fuck out and never follow me."
"But..."
Louis looks at me, furious. "No but, Styles."
"I was worried about you. That's it. Why are you so unpleasant?"
My sweatshirt sleeves have rolled up and I see Tomlinson glance at my bandaged wrists.
He sighs. "Okay, sorry. I got a little carried away. I just don't want you to follow me." The blue-eyed brunette speaks to me in a pleasant tone.
"Why?"
"Doesn't matter. Just don't do it."
"Louis..."
He squeezes me harder and pins me to the car. "I told you something. And you will listen to me." The brunette says it in totally different voice than the previous one, bringing his mouth to my neck.
God, he knows how sensitive my neck is to his touch.
"Will you listen to me?" He asks me and kisses my neck softly.
"Mmm... y-yeah..."
"Good boy." The older boy kisses my neck again as a reward.
Yes, I'll be a good boy for you, Louis. Always.
I put my hands on his waist and close my eyes. I give myself completely to him.
He notices me closing my eyes and he pulls away as he whispers. "You're so hot like this. Your neck is perfect for me to kiss. I'm gonna keep doing it and you don't have to do so much as open your eyes... I wanna see you totally helpless. You can't stop yourself from falling for me..."
Tomlinson is right. And I have no idea why his words are so attractive. I probably shouldn't have given in to him like that. But fuck, he's so hot when he has control over me.
Louis goes back to doing it and just keep kissing my neck. His hands are roaming my body and I am still squeezing his waist. Suddenly he puts one of his hands and squeezes slightly right around where I am sensitive.
"L-Lou..."
Butterflies are raging in my stomach and my breathing quickens. I'm sure he can sense that.
The boy whispers back and says. "You think I'm hot now? Then how hot are you gonna think I am when I break you down completely? I wanna use everything about you to make a complete mess. I don't want to leave even one part of your body unkissed until I get what I want from you. I don't want to leave any part of you untouched by my hands and my lips... And you will beg me for it." He smirks. "Consider it your punishment for following me."
Oh, if this is a punishment, I guess I'll have to stalk him more often.
A soft moan escapes my lips.
He whispers in a kind of possessive mood. "I wanna control absolutely everything about you. You don't even have to think for yourself when you are with me. You will just get to relax and let me handle everything and I would never expect you to have to think..."
His words should probably alert me that spending time with him isn't a good idea. I mean... I think he just called me stupid.
"Please... Louis..."
Brunette stops kissing my neck for a second and squeezing me so hard as well. His whisper voice is getting more soft and is actually getting quite romantic.
My body feels even more hot from him now.
"I want you to beg me...say please..." He says.
Oh God...
"P-please..."
He smirks. "Get in my car."
I open the back door and I lie on my back in the back seats.
Louis also gets into the car and closes the door. Now he is on top of me and he starts kissing my neck again, biting it every now and then.
I cover my mouth so I won't moan.
He whispers. "It's ok,you can moan all you like. I know you want to. You can do anything when I'm touching you. I'll let you do whatever feels natural for you. You don't always have to be in control. Let me take care of you...."
I nod.
Louis chuckles and whispers. "Good boy. I'm feeling so good about this. Your body is hot and it's only gonna get better until I make you my little boy that I can control. The way I'm touching you right now is gonna be a lot better in a couple of hours. When I've broken you down enough. Then I'll just see you begging for more from me..."
This should definitely be a hint that Louis is a bit toxic. But he was always like that and I always liked it.
Suddenly I feel his grip on my neck. I immediately look at him.
He squeezes me harder that I can't breathe.
"Lou..."
His gaze is distant and mean. I don't know why he changed so suddenly.
I can not breathe. I start to panic and tap the boy on the shoulder to make him let me go.
He doesn't let go of me.
"Louis... Please... Stop... I... Can't... Breath..."
He doesn't stop. My vision is a blur, black dots everywhere.
I didn't know he was so strong.
Tears stream down my cheek and suddenly the brunette lets me go. I immediately sit up and catch my breath.
"What the fuck?!" I say shocked.
"Do you still want me? You still fucking want this?!" The boy is outraged.
What is happening??
"What are you talking about?"
A heavy silence hangs between us.
"Louis are you doing this again? Are you trying to distance me again? You want me to hate you?" I ask even though I know I'm right.
The boy above me sighs. "I'm sorry, darling... I just... I don't know..."
"What is it? You can tell me."
"I think I..."
We look at each other for a moment and then Louis gets out of the car.
"What? What do you think, Louis?" I ask, slightly surprised and interested in what he wanted to tell me.
"Never mind. Get out of the car and don't follow me. Go home, Curly."
"But..."
"Now! Get out!" He screams at me.
I follow his instructions and get out of the car. I watch as the older brunette gets behind the wheel and immediately drives away with tires screeching.
What the fuck was that? I'm so confused.
I still can't understand him.
*
Almost a week had passed and I was following Tomlinson every day after school. I know he forbade me, but did he really think I would listen to him?
Either he didn't realize I was stalking him or he just didn't care.
Now I'm at some abandoned old ruined building. I wouldn't come here of my own free will. Since I've been following Louis, this is the first time we've been here.
It's already evening, I'm sitting in the bushes so that the brunette won't notice me. I feel like I shouldn't be here.
Suddenly a white bus arrives. I hide more in the bushes.
The car stops at the entrance, a man from the front seat gets out and walks to the back of the vehicle. He opens the door and three other men in balaclavas come out, holding someone who has a bag over his head and his hands are tied.
What the hell???
People enter the building and the bus driver drives away.
I see a hole in the building's wall on the side, so I sneak up to it quietly to get inside.
I'm hiding behind some dusty boxes now. I have a perfect view of what's going on.
In the very center of the room there is a chair on which sits the same person I saw outside with a bag over his head and over him there's an old lamp hanging from the ceiling. How the hell is this still working?
People in masks stand around a chair. After a while, someone else comes in.
I know these clothes. Louis.
Louis.
My friend walks up to the hostage and removes the bag from his head.
"Hello there. Did you enjoy the trip?" Tomlinson asks in a nice voice, but I've known him long enough to know that THIS kind of nice voice isn't nice at all.
The girl sitting in the chair looks with terrified eyes at the masked boy, who still has tape over her mouth.
"Oh, I'm sorry, love. I see that my boys did not care about the comfort of the trip." Louis quickly tears off a piece of tape, causing a short scream to escape the girl's lips. "Shhhh, don't scream, baby. You're not in trouble, well... Not yet."
Even though he has a balaclava on, I know that his stupid smirk just appeared on his face.
"I see you're stressed, maybe we can get to know each other better? If you will be a good girl, I will also be nice to you and we will come to an agreement."
The girl nods.
"So what's your name, honey?" He asks.
"G-Georgina..."
Louis bursts out laughing and grabs the girl by the hair and pulls her to look at him.
"Liar. Now, let's try again. What's your name?"
"My name's Georgina..."
He slaps the girl. I cover my mouth with my hands so that no squeak comes out. I did not expect that.
"If you want me to be nice to you, don't lie. I don't like liars." The boy speaks through gritted teeth.
"Eleanor..." The girl whispers.
"Oh baby don't be shy."
"My name is Eleanor... Eleanor Calder..." She says it a little bit louder.
Louis lets go of Eleanor's hair. "See? It wasn't that difficult." The older boy pulls away slightly. "So Eleanor, the thing is, you just need to give me a few pieces of information because one of your friends did something wrong and he has to pay for it. If you're good, you won't get hurt and you'll come home safe and sound. And believe me, I don't want to hurt you because it would be a pity to see such a beautiful face beaten. Do we understand each other?"
"Y-yes..."
"Okay so... Do you know Chandler? I know you know. So your sweet Chandler has a drug problem, did you know?"
I see surprise on the girl's face. "N-no."
I have no idea who Chandler is.
"Not only is he a junkie, he's in debt to me. He knew well what this would result in." Louis walks around the chair where Eleanor is sitting. "I agreed with him that if such a situation occurred, who should I take? He said you. And we know how much you love each other, so he would probably be sad if something bad..." The boy stops behind the girl and suddenly puts both hands on the girl's shoulders, making her flinch. "...happened to you."
I look in disbelief at what I see. I don't believe this is Louis. This can't be my Louis.
"Please don't do anything to me..." The brown-haired girl speaks through tears.
I see Louis playing with her hair. He leans forward and whispers something in the girl's ear, unfortunately I don't know what because I can't hear anything.
But I don't think I even want to know because now Eleanor is trying to escape.
Louis, however, only raises his hand slightly and two men grab the girl and tie her to a chair.
Tomlinson shakes his head in disappointment. "Oh honey... I thought we'd come to an agreement. I just wanted to hit you once so that your boyfriend would notice, but you just made it worse."
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Please don't do anything to me." She begs.
Louis takes a small knife from his pocket. He says while playing with it. "How much do you like your hair?"
Jesus, if he wanted to cut my hair, I'd probably fuck him up.
"Please don't. I love them." She begs again.
"Oh yeah?" Louis walks up to Eleanor and runs the knife gently through her dark hair. "Very nice indeed."
In one quick movement, the boy grabs a handful of hair and cuts it in one go.
He throws these cut hair onto the girl's lap. She cries.
Eleanor now has crooked hair. Long, beautiful brown locks were cut short crookedly. On one side they reach her shoulder and on the other they only reach her ear.
"Be quiet. So what should I do to you now?" He puts a knife to the girl's face. "Maybe we can cut your eyebrows? Somehow today I think I have a hairdressing calling in my soul."
"What do you want from me????" Eleanor asks tearfully. "Do you want money? Do you want me to sleep with you? What do you want?"
"All I want is to hurt you so much that your boyfriend will realize that it's all his fault. And if he kills himself, these debts will pass to you." He says it in a cold tone.
It gives me chills.
"Okay, we'll do that because I feel sorry for you. I'll cut your face a little and beat it up. And that's it. And if you misbehave, I'll consider cutting off your earlobes. Maybe this will be a new fashion trend. Want to find out?"
"No. I'll be good..."
I can feel that Louis is smirking again.
"Perfect."
Louis walks up to the girl and kisses her on the forehead. "Do not be afraid. It's not your fault. You just have a very stupid boyfriend."
After these words, the boy quickly cuts Eleanor's cheek and then immediately hits that spot with all his strength.
I quickly cover my mouth again. I feel tears flowing down my cheeks.
Eleanor took it without emotion. After a few punches and cuts, I see how weak she is. Her head hangs down and every now and then a drop of blood falls on her skirt. But she never screamed.
"Take her away." Louis says throwing the knife to the ground.
After everyone leaves, I want to punch Louis as hard as I can.
I want to walk up to him and strangle him.
But I don't. I stay in my hiding place.
After a while, I see Louis taking off his balaclava and fall to his knees and start crying, hiding his face in his hands.
This sight breaks my heart.
A quiet cry fills the building, and the echo that bounces off every possible wall gives me chills.
Fuck it.
I leave my hiding place.
When the brunette heard the sound of disgust, he picked up the knife from the ground and aimed it at me, but when he sees me, his face shows shock, which is immediately replaced by anger.
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE YOU FUCKING IDIOT!" He yells at me.
"I followed you here. What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" I ask indignantly.
"Working."
I freeze. Working? This is his job?
"What?" I ask shocked.
"I'M WORKING! I'M FUCKING WORKING, STYLES! AND YOU SHOULDN'T BE HERE!" He screams.
"DO NOT YELL AT ME!" I scream back.
"I WILL! I WILL YELL AT YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE FUCKING STUPID! SOMETHING COULD HAPPEN TO YOU IF SOMEONE FOUND OUT THAT YOU ARE HERE! ARE YOU REALLY THAT DUMB?!?"
"Are you really talking about my safety now? Louis, damn it, you can die from this job!" I say loudly, throwing my hands up.
"YOU DUMB IDIOT, WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF!"
"BUT I WORRY ABOUT YOU, LOU! I ALWAYS FUCKING DO! YOU HAVE TO STOP!"
"I CAN'T! I HAVE TO SUPPORT MY FAMILY!"
"ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!?! THERE ARE MANY NORMAL JOBS!"
I don't believe what he's saying now. Like he couldn't be a fucking pizza delivery guy or something like that. But no, Louis Tomlinson must have chosen some fucking mafia!
We look at each other.
"I want this job, too." I state.
"What?! No! No fucking way!"
"This way I'll make sure you're okay."
"Harry are you crazy? You can not do it!"
I approach the brunette. We are very close. I look down at him with cold eyes.
"Try me."
"No. You're insane." He says.
"So are you."
We look at each other in silence.
After a long moment, Louis stops our intense staring fight and sighs. "Fine."
I look at him shocked. "Really?"
"If that's what you want, go ahead. I warned you that you couldn't do it, but if you're stupid enough, then go ahead, you idiot. Do what you want."
"I'm not stupid."
"Yes, you are. You want this job?"
I nod and Louis grabs my arm with a tight grip.
"So come on, I'll take you to my boss."
We go to his car and drive in silence to a place unknown to me.
"Fucking idiot..." Louis whispers after a few minutes of driving.