Happy Valentine's Day, lovelies.
❤️❤️
Sihtric POV
My mind was foggy with drink, and I needed to piss. I stumbled, laughing, towards the door and out into the night air. I took sloppy steps down the stairs and to the left, cutting into the alley beside the tavern.
Someone was following me, and my mind slightly unfogged long enough for me to see it was Uhtred and then settled back into its tipsy haze. I started to undo my belt and then my buttons as he stepped next to me and did the same.
"How's Red?" His words were slurred, and what did he mean by that? He had to know what was going on, right? I mean, he wasn't an idiot.
"I want her," I sighed as I started to relieve my bladder of its burden.
"You want her?" He looked over at me strangely with a small chuckle, and I realized that I had actually spoken that out loud. I felt a sobering amount of dread settle into my stomach. This was not how I wanted to reveal this, and yet, it was happening. Right then, as I swayed on drunken legs and pissed in an alleyway.
"Well, I.. I want to court her."
He raised a brow. "What's stopping you then?"
"I did not want it to be against your wishes. She's your shield-maiden, and I'm your man." My stream stopped with the end of my statement.
"And you did not want to do anything without my blessing?"
I buttoned my pants back up and sighed. "Lord.." My vision swam, and I swayed softly. The last drink I had drunk was just starting to settle in. "I must admit that we already did."
He rebuttoned his pants. "You already did what?"
I giggled, my mind filled with hazy dullness and the sheer awkwardness of this whole thing. "We've already been.. spending time together."
He stared at me, and a smile tempted his lips to curve upwards. "You mean you've been humping her?" His tone was light and playful, but I could sense the disappointment hiding within.
I nodded slowly, suddenly very aware of what I had said. "Yes, Lord."
"Why hide this from me?"
I frowned as my drunk mind tried to catch up to just how incredibly stupid I was. "I.. uhh.. well, we.." I pushed my hand back through my hair to move it off my face, which now blushed deep red as I tried to pick the right words."It just happened, I guess."
He just stared at me. Thoughts blatantly flashed across his features, and I could tell that I had broken his trust in some small way. The look in his gaze made me feel instantly guilty. "Lord, I realize this was a violation of your trust, and I am ashamed of that.. but I would be lying to you if I said I felt regret."
He shifted a little more to face me better. He was quiet for a long moment even still, and his expression became more sober when he opened his mouth to speak. "I do not think that you should regret your actions, as passion is a natural thing, and at your age, lust is more than just common. It's expected. I do not believe that you intended any malice by your actions, and I will not be angry with you for this. But if you intend to go forward with Red, I expect nothing but pure intentions and honor from now on."
"Of course, Lord. If my intentions were not pure, I would not be telling you any of this." My eyes widened as I spoke, shocked at my own forthcoming of words.
He smiled softly, understanding crossed his face without me needing to explain further. "Thank you for telling me the truth. It was not a good thing that you shared her bed without permission, but I will forgive you for it."
"Thank you, Lord," I grinned drunkenly as he gripped my shoulder and pushed me playfully back towards the tavern with a small laugh.
_______________
The moon was just a waning crescent of silver swimming in the sea of stars above. The calm dark water reflected them in unwavering perfection. I kicked off my boots and tugged up my pants' legs, then put my bare feet down into the water.
The water was slightly warm, still from the summer heat, and it gave the illusion of having dipped my toes into the night sky itself. I giggled to myself as I wiggled my toes under the water. Despite knowing they were attached to my body, I couldn't see them at the end of my legs, and it gave me a weird sensation of disconnect.
"There you are."
I jumped, slightly startled, and whipped my head instinctually towards the sound of someone's voice to see none other than the man who always appeared to give me a whirlwind of emotion in one way or snother.
"Here I am," I replied teasingly as I opened my arms and motioned to myself with a soft smile.
He stepped towards me on clearly inebriated legs and started tugging his boots off as he stumbled a bit this way and that way. He kicked both off and chuckled before sitting next to me and dropping his feet into the water next to mine. He scooted closer, and I could smell the alcohol wafting off of him very clearly as his thigh bumped up against mine.
"Been having fun?" I smiled at him.
He bit his lip and then chuckled. "Aye, I was, but then I started to miss you. So I left."
My heart fluttered. He started to miss me? I couldn't stop myself from smiling. "Oh."
"Oh?" He smiled brightly, his toes grazed against mine under the water, giving me a slight jolt of excitement and surprise, and made me giggle like a child.
"I missed you too," I bumped his thigh with mine again as I looked up to catch his gaze. His eyes were drowsy with intoxication as his eyes flicked from my eyes to my lips, making my skin feel hot. Do it, kiss me.
Instead of kissing me like my thoughts directed him, he lowered his gaze to the water. "I told Uhtred."
"You told Uhtred?" I parrotted back to him. It took a few seconds for the meaning of the words to register in my brain. "Wait.. you told him?"
He nodded and smiled. "I told him."
My heart pounded inside of me like a wild animal trying to escape a cage, rattling the bars of my ribcage with each attempt. "And?"
"And he gave his blessing," he said matter of factly.
"He was not angry?"
Sihtric shrugged and giggled as he looked down at his feet. "He was disappointed in me, but he forgave me."
I didn't know what to say, so I just stared at him. Did this mean what I thought it meant? We could just be together now? Just be a couple? Or well.. just be open about our interests in each other.
"So, are you going to start courting me immediately or.."
He laughed at my words. He wrapped his arm around me and pulled my body up against his as he leaned closer and pressed his lips against my cheek. His breath was heavy with the stench of alcohol when he spoke, but I didn't mind. "I thought I already did."
"No, no. You are not getting off that easy," I flirted.
"Oh? Do you need public displays of affection, lille fugl?" He whispered against my cheek.
Butterflies brushed their wings inside my belly as his words tickled the delicate skin of my cheek. "I think I do."
"Well," he removed his lips from my cheek and looked around, then smiled back down at me. "There's no one here to tell except for the moon and stars."
"Then we should make sure they know," I said softly as I leaned subtly closer. My eyes were set on the destination of his lips, and my toes brushed against the underneath of his foot, which felt maybe more intimate than the kiss I was planning in some ways.
He was caught under the pressure of my gaze and unable to resist as he pressed forward a little bit, too. Our lips brushed against each other's lighting a fire within us both instantaneously. I inhaled sharply and pressed further against him, deepening the kiss. His hand caressed my cheek as his tongue, thick with the flavor of whiskey and smoke, danced against mine.
We broke apart a moment later, and he rested his cheek against mine and hummed. "And now they know," he slurred slightly, making me laugh.
"You might be drunk, Sihtric."
"No, I am definitely drunk," he laughed softly as he sat back and looked at my face, "but not just on ale."
I felt bubbly and ridiculous inside as I saw where this was going, but yet I pressed for him to finish the line. "Oh? On what else?"
"On you, of course," he grinned as he flicked my nose with his thumb.
"But of course!" I giggled as I leaned against him again. He wrapped his arm around me, resting his chin on the top of my head. It made me feel small and safe, wrapped in his embrace. My head rested against his hard chest, and I could hear his heart beating in his chest, steady and strong.
I grabbed for his other hand and interlocked his fingers with mine as they rested together in my lap. His thumb traced along my knuckles. I relaxed against him and looked back out at the sea of stars reflected on the water's surface.
"Sihtric.."
"Hmm?"
I wasn't sure what to say exactly. I wanted to tell him how happy I was. I wanted him to know how safe he made me feel. I wanted him to know how mad he made me, and how happy he made me and how much I cared about him and enjoyed his company. Instead, I said nothing.
I opened my mouth to speak, and nothing came out. I clamped it shut again. The fear that lived within my heart was still hiding there, like a rat that chewed at my heartstrings and scratched at the walls of my heart, looking desperately to make its escape and spread the plague of itself throughout my whole body with paralyzing fright.
No. I wasn't going to spend all my life being afraid. Erik had let that rat out, and it had gorged itself on my flesh, growing bigger and bigger until it filled me up with terror, but I had beat it back, fought it down, and locked it away. It reared its sniveling nose every once in a while in an attempt to beckon me back to its control.
No. I was going to stop being afraid and let myself be happy. I needed to stop punishing myself for things that weren't my fault and that I had no control or choice in.
"I.. I'm just happy. Here with you."
He smiled. I could feel the pressure of his face changing against the top of my head. "I am happy too."
Translation:
lille fugl- little bird