There you were at his door. You felt your heart about to explode within your chest. It was unsettling, how enlarged and swollen each beat was. Your hands shook, and you couldn't bring yourself to knock.
Just knock.
You raised your fist up against the hardwood.
You can't.
You want to go home.
Your eyebrows pierce together.
This wasn't about you.
Your fist came crashing into the door as three booming knocks burst out from you. You stood back, wrapping your arms tightly against your body. The air was chilly tonight, the moon clouded, but cresent in shape. It was rising high into the sky, so there was nk telling how late it was. You hoped you didn't wake his parents.
You heard the doorknob creak, and the locks click and clack.
You gripped yourself tighter.
Each second felt like it was drowning in agony.
The door swung open.
Haruka met you. He was wearing his Chainsaw Man pajamas, his hair long and free about his face. It strung downwards in many directions, a middle part running down it. His eyes were barely open, and his face leaned against the door.
He squinted at you. "(Y/n)?" He whispered.
"H-Haruka... Hi. Can I come in." You mumbled, unsure if the quiet words even met his ears.
He blinked a few times, slowly standing upright. He suddenly gasped. Haruka brushed his face harshly against his arm and cleared his throat. He stood upright suavely, scratching the back of his neck. "Yeah, yeah... Come in." He hummed, stepping from the door. You stepped inside, and he shut the door behind you. "You know the way up. I'll... I need to use the bathroom." He stammered, avoiding eye contact with you.
You nodded, but he didn't see it. You walked up the stairs, down the hall, and to his room. The door opened to the familiar space you had seen time and time again. Chainsaw Man bedsheets, Chainsawman Merch lining the walls, Chainsawman rugs. His desk, his television, his beanbags.
You ran your nervous, sweaty hands along your skirt. Where should you sit?
Maybe on the beenbags?
No. You can't tell someone you cheated on them while sitting on a bean bag. It has to be somewhere intimate, something that'll make you sit upright in. Your eyes flickered to the desk next. He had a chair.
That wouldn't be any better. Have him sit on the floor while you tell him that? You need to sit eye to eye.
The door creaked open. The sound was like a death bell. You frantically sat on his bed.
His figure loomed by the door frame, tiredness slipping from his eyes. He stared at you, the dark room making him look unreadable. His eyes fluttered away. "Why are you in the dark." Haruka said. Nervously, you found his eyes. His hand ghosted along the light switch. He asked you such a question, yet never turned them on. He peered up through his eyelids, his handsome face brimming with a coy, sly flare.
"Oh, uh-- I didn't..." You could find the words. He smiled bashfully. The Moonglow wisked in, barely keeping highlighting the room. He didn't turn the lights on. Instead, he walked over to you and sat next to you. The bed dipped for his weight.
You watched his every move, youe eyebows furrowing. He flickered on his lamp instead.
The small light shined a dim, warm glow in the room. The bulb had an orangish tint thanks to his Chainsaw Man covering. "I have your phone. You left it at the Church." He said, but it was nothing more than shy small talk.
"Oh, thanks." You said awkwardly.
Haruka turned to you, pulling his leg up against the bed. He ran his hands through his hair, avoiding your gaze. "Is this about Barem." He whispered, his tone slow and quiet.
The warm glow made him look charming, but you weren't attracted to him. Haruka was a good guy, he wasn't yours.
"Kind of." You said.
"We were thinking the same thing then." He whispered. His green eyes caught yours. That's when you truly turned unsure. He didnt turn the lights on, he rished to the bsthroom, and you swore you could smell mouthwash in his breath.
The seal to your own doom was when his eyes found you. They ebbed with sensuality.
You gasped quietly.
He scooted closer to you before you could think. "You'll date Denji in public," his fingers reached, and phalanges stroked circles on your neck, "but you'll be with me in private."
Your jaw fell. "What?"
Those fingers on your neck turned into a palm as he scooted closer again and cupped the side of you, his thumb tracing your ears. You shot up and slapped his hand away.
You whimpered, and ranmed to the door, flipping the bedroom lights on. Shock swirled in your belly, your face burning. Your blinks were rapid as you turned to face him again.
He stared at you from the bed confused. You could see the humilation in his eyes.
"No, no way. You've got it all wrong, Haruka." You stammered, shock nullifying your thoughts.
You couldn't find the words to say.
He shot up from the bed, his hands nervously hiding behind his back. "What do you mean? Barem can't keep us apart. I love you, you love--"
"I've been cheating on you." You blurted it all out.
He gasped tartly. His eyes grew large. His face warped into horror, his footing growing lose as his body dropped back onto the bed. He sat frozen, staring at you- eyes flickering to each of yours. "What..." He whispered.
You stepped from the door, your brows weaved intensely. "I... I've been seeing this gu--"
"Who." He spat.
"It started a few weeks ago... Remember that flood? I... I didn't like him at first but I ended up kissing him. I broke up with you at the Aquarium because--"
"Who." His voice was chilling.
"Listen... I-- I shouldn't have played you... You're a wonderful boyfriend, you were so kind to me. All of it, its my fault." You said.
Haruka stood up.
You stepped back.
In his eyes, there was nothing but rage.
"I said," his face hardened into a grit, "Who." He commanded.
Fear overtook your throat.
"(Y/n)." He barked, his fists clenching.
You opened your mouth, "D--" "Denji." He finished it, cutting you off as if your attempt meant nothing. His voice was filled with all the venom in the world, hissing sickeningly like a wrangled snake. His face went blank. You stuttered for words to say. Haruka turned and immediately went into his closet.
"Haruka?" You asked. He didn't say anything and ripped out his coat and shoved it on. "Haruka." You called, staring at thr back of his head. He pulled off his sleeping pants and put on a pair of jeans. Gears were beginning to turn in your head.
You gasped.
You rushed to Haruka, grabbing onto his forearm. "Stop it." You hissed. He didn't even look at you. He shrugged you off, not even sparing you another glance. He walked right out of the room, he didn't acknowledge you. Your face paled.
Confusion, panick, feaf, it all mongled together into one. Your feet felt so heavy, to heavy to move.
Denji. You had to move.
"Haruka!" You called. You threw the door wide open, your footsteps frantic as you rushed after him. By the time you hit the hallway, he was already slinking out the door.
Oh no.
You scrambled down the stairs, barely shoving your shoes on and bursting at the front door. "Haruka!" You yelled while the cold night air nipped at your face.
He was moving fast, anger fueling his steps. He was heading down the street-- down to the school. From the school to the city-- and eventually.
Denji's house.
The realization was worse that you thought it.
No. You could never dream for something like this.