A/N, just got back from school and had 2 tests today 😭 T.W is all the same. It's written in P.O.V and this is a bakudeku ship. This chapter is going to be mostly a conversation between the topics of what happened in izukus past.
#~|• Katuskis P.O.V •|~#
Aizawa tapes the bandage onto a part of deku skin that isn't butchered, making Dekus breath hitch
"He's just putting on bandages, you're alright." He grips my hand harder as the old man has to bandage his chest, me and aizawa exchange Knowing glances at each other.
Once he's finished and gets his shirt back he quickly puts it on and buttons it up.
"S-sorry for the troubles, shouldn't Y-you guys be in the c-classroom?"
"Iidas in charge, I'm not going back, I'm going to take you to our dorms and stay with you so you don't hurt yourself and aizawa finished the lesson it was just filler time."
As I stated, he nodded. He stopped crying and he seemed fine but he was without emotions. He was numb.
"C'mon let's go." He stood up and followed me to the dorms with his head down the whole way.
I unlocked the door and stepped inside while he followed. It was sorta scary seeing him on complete autopilot.
"Whatcha want to eat? I was thinking maybe ramen or soba, maybe we could go pick up ingredients for katsudon!" I give him a warm smile to maybe crack that mask if his.
"I'm not very hungry, thank you though. I'm going into my room now if you need me." I shook my head and he gave me a look of confusion.
"You aren't going in there alone, if thats what you meant."
"I just want to do my homework for today."
"We didn't get homework for today"
"I still have some from a few days ago I'm going to try and finish that."
"You turned that in, I saw you turn it in."
"Look, I just wanted some alone time"
"You lost that privilege, now you're stuck with me for the rest of the week."
He gives me a look of defeat and I sigh. I have to bring it up, I'm supposed to, but I don't know how to.
"Deku where did you get the pocket knife earlier. Were you lying to me?" Where did he get it if I was pretty much with him the entire time? Did he get it from a friend? Or maybe he found it in a trash can or on the floor? I highly doubt that however I can't figure it out.
"I-i found it." He looked away but he still had no emotion. He knew what I was asking and he wouldn't tell me properly. I was getting angry and I couldn't keep it at bay, it showed on my face and came out through my tone as well
"Where did you fucking find it?"
Nothing
Radio silence
"WHERE DID YOU FIND IT? DON'T YOU WANT TO GET BETTER? I'M TRYING TO HELP AND YOU'RE NOT RESPONSIVE TO IT! DO YOU WANT TO GET FUCKING BETTER OR NOT!?"
And now it's his turn to boil with rage.
"I HAVE WANTED TO GET BETTER SINCE I WAS TWELVE! THREE WHOLE FUCKING YEARS OF WANTING TO GET BETTER! SO I SLIPPED UP? BIG FUCKING DEAL ! MAYBE YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ME ON THE FLOOR COVERED IN BLOOD BEFORE BUT I HAVE! I KNOW WHAT TO DO! I DIDN'T ASK FOR YOU OR ANYONE ELSE'S HELP!"
"YOU DIDN'T ASK BUT YOU SURE AS HELL SHOWED US YOU NEEDED IT! YOU MAY NOT HAVE ASKED BUT YOU STILL CLUNG TO ME LIKE A KOALA! GOD, YOU MAY NOT HAVE ASKED BUT I KNOW YOU WANT MY HELP! LET US FUCKING HELP YOU, WE CARE ABOUT YOU LET ME IN, GOD DAMN IT! YOU BARELY EVEN TOLD ME WHAT YOUR DAD DID!"
I yell a lot but this was a different type of yell, sure it started cause I was angry but it shifted into being because of despairation. I wanted him to tell me all the fucked up things that his dad did, all of the fucked up things that his mom did, all the fucked up ways he hurt himself, and I wanted to hear every single one of those wretched thoughts in his head that told him all these things. He kept it all bottled away and shipped in a box to be sailed across the seven seas when that's not what should happen. If he wants to do what he did today again, I want him to come to me, I don't want to have to find him sobbing I want him to come to me, so I can help him sort through what's wrong.
"Izuku, please, I- ill listen. Please just tell me. What happened." A tear dropped down my face and another one took it's place. I was ugly crying, leaning on the counter with my head in my hands only to feel two hands wrap around the back of me. I turn around and my shocked complection turns into a softer one. I wrap my hands over his back, making sure not to touch his waist so I don't scare him. My face rests in his hair. He didn't cry but the same amount of emotion came pouring out as he sank to the floor facing the wall of tapestry that stood in front of us.
" I-i can tell you if you w-want." I push my fingers through his hair
"If you need to take a break, just let me know,okay?"
He nods and shifts his head so it's not directly facing my chest
"How about you start with Inko?" He tensed up at the name but relaxed shortly after.
"S-she would b-break beer bottles over my head f-for one. I would step in the door and she would slap me and call me something along the lines of worthless or disgusting. Her usual nickname was slut though. She drank h-heavily and would always stumble back very late at night. I w-would usually have to drive and pick her up. She was v-very manipulative. Whenever the beatings ended in blood on the floor she'd tell me to clean it up like it was my fault, even though she was the one who hit me. I had to get straight A's and B's or it would just get worse. I-it started when I was 4 but back then it was just a slap and getting drunk casually. She recorded what my dad did and would laugh while he was doing it."
He still wasn't crying but I was sobbing. I was clutching on to him. My blood boiled. The fact that this was a normal fucking day for him made me want to bash my skull in. "W-what about your dad, what did he do?" I knew he would rather be stuck in a room with his mom than his dad, so I tried to approach the subject gently. He was on the verge of tears, he had so many to let out and they were all halted. His head wasn't resting on my chest once he started speaking on his mother and his hands were fiddling with each other and his legs were criss cross apple sauce in my lap with my arms around his waist.
"H-he w-would drink really heavily t-too, but it was usually with Inko. W-whenever I had to p-pick them up he always sat in the front next to me making flirty remarks, or with his hand on my upper thigh, sometimes both, whenever he was drunk he would rape me but whenever he did when he was drunk he was worse and-and it took longer for it to be over.
H-he used the uhm, the traditional uhm quirk suppression cuffs whenever he raped me o-or locked me in the closet. Sometimes when I did something really bad in his opinion, he would toss me in an empty, small, dark closet. Sometimes he would slap me, b-but it was never as bad as inko. I think the worst thing he did was, when h-he invited his friends over to join him in doing that to me."
He starts to tear up, but he clears his throat and tries as hard as he can to not cry.
"And now why do you harm yourself?" It was a question that needed to be answered since I found out he was doing it but I always felt that it was way too cliche for me to ask, or that it was overstepping, while it may have been it helps to know.
"Sometimes there's this little voice or consciousness that tells me insults, or bad things about myself, like, ' your way to fat you're harming everyone by being that big, you're so stupid you got that low of a grade' or some are a bit deeper. 'everything would be better without you, you're burdening your friends and everyone else by living.' and cutting or burning sometimes scratching myself till I bleed just quiets it down."
"You don't believe that, right? Please tell me you know those are lies, those are so fake, so fake! You aren't burdening me, I need you, I love you, okay! Don't hurt yourself like that again please. Just come to me if you feel like that, okay?"
"I'll try."
"That's all I'm asking."
He falls back into my chest and shifts his head on my chest, while his hands grip the front of my shirt and sobs into me. Taken aback, I still shift hands so one of my arms are hugging him but still playing with his hair while the other wraps around him. His legs have changed from crossed to being hugged towards his chest.
"Why did he do that, I was five. Why would someone do that to a five year old?"
"I know, not fair at all. What happened is what happened and we can't change that, but what we can change is how we deal with it, and how we move on from something traumatic happens. I understand that it's hard right now but, we will get you help. In fact," I cut myself off by reaching one of my arms off of his hips and onto the counter for one of the flyers I found.
"What about this place, I've been looking into this recently and I've noticed a lot of good people and options that seemed to suit you, they seem like a good option to get help, you don't have to go with them but it seems credible."
He smiled and wiped the tears from his eyes
"I'll call them tomorrow"
1836 words total, I love whoever is actually reading this
Have a great day thx for reading and giving me a shot!