Kieran
Me, Finn, Aiden and Becca were sitting outside of school, smoking. We had a break and we're over 18, so the teachers didn't care. Even tho they should've, since we were still on the school ground. But they didn't, and I was glad for that. I really needed to catch a break from my thoughts.
He's all I've been thinking about.
This whole time I thought I was straight. Now I was having second thoughts. I was never, like, homophobic or anything. I just never wanted to be part of the community. Because my dad..
Kie.
He always has bad things to say about it. For example, I think his favorite is, gay men are not real men. Yea, he says that a lot.
Kie.
But what's calms me down a little is that even if I was actually gay, I know for a fact that Hazel and mom would accept me. Me and my mom never talked about it directly, but whenever my dad says something really mean, she defends the LGBT community.
And Hazel always asks me if I finally got a girlfriend or a boyfriend. She's sweet.
"Kie!"
I snapped my head up and saw all three of them, looking at me. It was Aiden who called out my name. I think.
"What?" I mumbled.
"What's going on with you, man?" Aiden asked, concerned. Both Finn and Becca had the same look of concern in their eyes.
"Nothing... everything is fine." I can't just tell them that I was having a sexual identity crisis right now.
I mean, theoretically, I could.
But I think it's too soon. I just figured out that I wanted to kiss Damien. That didn't immediately mean I was gay, right?
Even though, it would explain why I never really enjoyed sex. I never understood why everyone says sex is, like, the best thing ever.
Oh, God. Was that why? Was it because I might be gay?
"Yeah and I'm the president of the United States." Said Becca with a frown. "Which we all know is impossible in this country, since I'm a black woman. So spill the beans." she twirled a braid around her finger.
They were my friends. I could tell them something. Maybe not the whole truth, which I didn't even know myself, but something.
"Well... there's..." I trailed off. But they waited patiently.
"There's a..." I couldn't say it. "..certain person, who's making me confused."
They all opened their mouths in shock.
"Oh. My. God. There's actually a girl who's making your little head spin?" Finn asked, excitedly.
Not exactly a girl. That's the problem.
"Shut up. I shouldn't have told you anything." I started walking off. Our cigarettes were long gone by now.
But then Aiden caught my wrist and tugged me back.
"What's her name?" Becca asked with genuine excitement.
I can see why they're happy. I've never been serious about anyone. But his name is, unfortunately, the one and only, Damien Hayes.
"I won't tell you." I said with a fake grin.
"Okay, okay, smartass. We will pry it out of you sooner or later anyway." Said Finn as he clapped me on the back.
Then we all went inside.
"Why is everyone gathered in one place?" I asked, confused. Is there a fight going on?
"I'm not sure, let's take a look." Finn offered.
The closer we got, the more clearly I could hear the voices in the circle.
Thats when I heard his voice and my mind went blank.
I tried to get to them as quickly as I could. And it was almost too late.
There he was. Damien Hayes in all his glory, pushed against a locker by Andrew Roux. Can't say I didn't see that one coming. From what I heard, these two weren't exactly on the best of terms.
Andrew was just about to punch Dame before I caught his fist.
"Who the fuck is touching m–" He said, but didn't finish his sentence when he saw me. I wasn't a small guy. I think I was one of the tallest students in school. I wasn't a skinny guy either. And I, for sure, knew how to win a fight.
It seemed like Andrew realized that me and Damien against him is a no-no. He let go of Damien and went off.
"You okay?" I asked. His blonde hair was a mess and his brown eyes were wide open.
He just stared at me. Why was he always just staring at me? Was I that nice to look at or what?
I caught his forearm and led him away from the crowd.
"Damien, I'm gonna ask again. Are you alright?"
"Y–Yes. Thank you. For, uhh, you know, stopping him." He was red like a tomato.
And that was when I realized.
We haven't talked at all since that thing happened.
Now I could feel the heat rising up in my cheeks. Jesus, this was so awkward. What was I supposed to say?
"Uhh, You're welcome, I guess." I started quickly walking away. I was so embarrassed.
"No, wait!" He called out.
I halted in place and turned around to look at him.
"Can we... talk?" He scratched his neck nervously.
"...Sure." I said slowly and followed him.
I'm not sure where we were going, but he seemed like he knew what he was doing, so, I just decided to trust him and followed.
When we finally got to where he was headed to, I read the sign it said on the doors.
"Why are we in the changing rooms?" I raised my eyebrows. What was he planning...
"I just, wanted something private. And there's no one here at this hour. So I figured it would be a good place to talk, without being interrupted." He looked at his own shoes. He was nervous, again.
"Okay... what do you want to talk about?" I asked, carefully.
"I wanted to talk to you about what happened on Monday, before I, uhh, went to the mall with Rose and Hazel."
He was bright red. I was probably too.
"Then talk." I didn't mean to sound so defensive, but that was what just happens sometimes when I was nervous. He winced at my tone.
"Sorry, didn't mean to say it so harshly."
"It's okay... umm." He didn't know how to start this conversation.
"Why did you kiss me?" I asked right of the bat, to break the tension. But the tension seemed to grow even thicker after I finished my sentence and looked at him, all flustered.
"Because... I'm not sure. I just, felt like it, I guess."
"I thought you said you are not gay?" Genuine question. This was making me really confused. He said he's not gay, so why did he kiss me?
"Well, actually, I'm not. I'm bi. Like, bisexual. You know what that means, right?" He asked, hesitantly.
"Yes, of course I know what that means, dummy." I said with a laugh.
That seemed to calm him down a little. Good.
"But have you ever thought about how I feel? You can't just kiss a person out of the blue without asking them." I crossed my arms.
"I could tell how you felt about it."
Shit. Did he feel it? Fuck. Of course he did. He was pressed up against me.
I ran a hand through my black hair, looking down on the floor, as he stepped closer to me.
"It's okay, you know. To feel like that." He took another step closer to me.
"I– no. It's not. I'm supposed to be normal." I said, tears forming in my eyes.
No. I can not cry on front of him. That's not what a real man would do.
When Damien stood directly in front of me, he cupped my face and made me look into his eyes.
My tears fell, even when I tried so hard for them to not fall.
He wiped them away with his thumb and smiled at me, his dimples showing. I didn't even know he had dimples.
"It's okay. It's okay to feel this way. It doesn't make you any less normal. And whoever tells you it does, is incredibly wrong."
He kept running his thumb over my cheeks, though, there were no more tears to wipe away.
"So, can you tell me how you felt about it?" Damien asked me in a whisper.
"I–It felt... good." I hiccupped. I feel like a child now for crying but he didn't seem to mind.
"Right. It felt good for me too. Does that make us any less normal?"
"No.."
He smiled and leaned in.
"May I?" He asked.
And all I could do was a quick nod before I felt his lips on mine.
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if there was anyone waiting for new chapters then I'm sorry for not posting the past two days. i was at work and too tired to continue when i came home in the evening 😭😭 hope yall like this chapter!!