Truceson's POV
I had to figure this shit out and fast.
I don't even know how I will but I knew I needed to. Well....want to. Sean is making me want a lot of things I didn't know I wanted.
Like him.
A him to begin with. I never thought I'd ever be in a place in my life where I'd be admitting to myself that I....liked guys.
Now here I was, on my way home to call off my engagement. It wasn't until I was driving myself home that I realized what this meant. I would lose my inheritance...maybe even my job. My status. My family. They'd most likely disown me and never speak to me again. I'd be left with nothing but my own money, which in the grand scheme of things...isn't bad. I had a nice amount saved and still to be earned with my own investments.
But still...was I ready for something like that?
I told Sean I was...but was being hasty? Maybe I'm making a mistake, I don't even know if Sean and I are going to work out.
But for some reason the thought of us not working out made my stomach churn. It made me want to throw up. I barely even know him and yet I can't get him out of my fucking head.
Now the question stands...did I think he was worth it? Worth everything so soon?
My immediate, unthought-of answer is yes.
But then my mind catches up and it changes to 'I don't know'.
We agreed to take things slow, which is great and it eased some part of me. Which meant I wouldn't have to just jump right into 'being gay' if that's a thing. I don't know. Maybe I should talk with Ana and see what that entails and what I should do...
Sean surely knows since his entire family seems to be gay. I feel a little out of my league here because of it. I'm usually the smartest in the room, but with Sean I feel...severely inexperienced. It's like I'll be starting all over again. Actually not 'like' I will be. I've never done anything with a guy ever...and now the thought of it is exciting but also terrifying.
I walked inside my house and there was music being played loudly from the kitchen. And almost all the big lights were on. That's how I knew Dae was here. I walked towards the music and I saw her in her usualy wear. White, hair pinned back, and lipstick. I wondered if she even had anything other than white.
"Oh, Truceson, I wasn't expecting to see you until tomorrow." She turned and looked at me with a bright smile. Her eyes lit up and guilt hit me in the chest.
"Yeah, I--there's something we need to talk about." I cleared my throat and she leaned over and paused her music on her phone.
I turned away and walked to my living room and I looked over it. Everything was still in place, thankfully Dae hadn't started to renovate like how she wanted to.
A new level of excitement hit me thinking about Sean coming in here and seeing my space. Would he like it? Would he want to change it too?
"What's going on?" I motioned to the dark green leather couch across from me as she followed. She sat and crossed her legs and clasped her hands together.
For some reason, I wasn't nervous at all. At least not anymore. The moment I saw her in the kitchen and heard her music, I couldn't help but have a part of me wish it was Sean here. That it was Sean in my kitchen, Sean playing my music. Sean having the big lights on. And that thought...didn't bother me at all.
"I don't know how to say this in a way that isn't...rude. I suppose." I sighed and pulled my eyes away from hers. "I--"
"I think I know..." Dae interrupted, "This isn't working for you is it?" I slowly nodded and forced myself to look at her.
She no longer had her usually perfect posture. She was now slumped in the chair and she had taken her hair out of the clip. I'd never seen her so free-looking.
"Y-yes." I stuttered out, completely caught off guard by this new side of her.
"Thank fuck," She cursed and let out a dry laugh. "I had been praying that you'd come to your senses and I'd be free."
My eyes went wide as I stared at the no longer prim, and proper Dae. What the fuck is happening?
"I--"
"For a moment I thought you were into me like for real. Then I started feeling bad but then when 'all of a sudden' you started having these 'long meetings' at work and couldn't make it home. I realized. You were forced into this too! And thank GOD you did. I don't know how much longer I could have taken pretending. Look. Don't get me wrong, you're an attractive guy...sure. But I am much more interested in your assistant than you if you catch my drift."
Dae let out a sigh of relief after her rant and I was stunned. For more reasons than one.
"Wait...what? You-- I thought you were into me?" I finally willed myself to say.
"No. Not even in the slightest. I just took acting classes when I was younger so I know how to put on a good show." She started to look around but then she stood to her feet and started walking towards the kitchen again. "You want a drink? I think we need to get drunk before we have this conversation."
****
"You mean to tell me this entire thing was set up by our parents to keep us from being gay?" I asked her, my voice slurring a bit.
Dae and I were sprawled out on the floor of my living room. Both changed into more comfortable clothes. Well, I changed into Seans and she changed into hers. We didn't start talking until we both downed a glass of wine. It was strange, seeing as we barely spoke before but here we were airing out our dirty laundry.
She had asked about my clothes and how they were noticeably too big for me and I told her it was my 'friends'. She read through my bullshit almost instantly. Telling me she knew I liked guys from the moment she met me all that time ago. Something about her gaydar being severely accurate.
We both shared our stories of when we were kids and the first time we showed 'signs' of being gay. Here was when she was seven and she wanted to wear boy clothes because she didn't like dresses. Which automatically makes a girl a lesbian apparently, she said with the most sarcastic tone.
I told her about my doll story, and how I was sent away. She was also sent away, to Korea. Which is why she was there in the first place. Not for the reason she originally told me, which was that her parents wanted her to learn the culture.
We drank our second glass after we cheered to conversion camps.
"Yeah, man. And fuck, if that isn't just sad. On their end."
"What were they holding over you?" I asked as I rubbed my face, feeling all nice and warm.
"My inheritance." She mumbled.
"Shit, me too."
"Twinsies!" She yelled with a light chuckle. Dae was a lot more wasted than I was, and it was hilarious to watch. "Guess we're both going broke huh?"
The reality of what the end of our engagement meant...all those years of work and proving myself...gone. It was obvious neither of us wanted to continue in this sham. Now that we both confessed how we felt and how neither of us was attracted to each other.
"Our parents are going to disown us aren't they?" I turned my head to look at Dae who was lying across from me.
Her arm was covering her face, but I heard the sadness in her voice. It was deep. It matched the one I was feeling too.
Even though my parents aren't the best...they were still my parents. And even though it was completely unrealistic of me to desire, a part of me was hoping that I'd have a real relationship with them one day. Hoping that maybe they'd want to know their son...
But it was all a fucking dream.
"Yeah." I sighed and let the heaviness of that answer affect me.
I wasn't going to live the rest of my life in misery to please my parents. They made their choice in how to live, and they chose to suffer. I didn't have to pick that. I could choose to be happy...to be in love for once. To know what that's like. Even if it's not with Sean...just...I deserve to be free.
I'm not doing this for Sean.
I'm doing this for me.
"It's hard to believe you were acting this whole time. I truly thought you'd wanted to have sex with me." Dae scoffed at my statement.
"Yes, okay, pretending you were a masculine, pretty girl sometimes helped fuel the attraction, but then you'd talk and I'd be snatched out of it immediately."
"You should be a fucking actress. You'd win Oscars. Probably get the whole EGOT. Or whatever it's called." I slurred, feeling the alcohol warming my veins.
"When I was younger I wanted to act," She sighed and continued, "My parents of course hated that. It wasn't a stable position or consistent. So unless I could guarantee that I'd be an A-list star in six months, I couldn't do it."
"I think you could."
"When do you want to tell them?" She asked and I took a moment to think...I knew it would be soon. Once they catch whiff that Dae and I stopped wedding planning it'd become obvious.
"They'd find out, soon enough." I shrugged.
"I suppose I should find someplace else to stay then. And learn how to budget...get a fucking job too." She groaned as she sat up.
She looked so much more like herself dressed like this. Makeup free, and in loose clothing. I must have been so wrapped up in my own shit to not notice how uncomfortable she was before.
"No, you can stay here as long as you need," I said as I sat up, my head swimming. "And if you need a job, I'm sure I can find you one."
I patted around my pocket looking for my phone, and I pulled it out. I went to Sean's newly saved contact and hovered over it. Would it be bad to invite him over? I just left his house, and it was still raining. He'd probably say no. Plus I was pretty tipsy. Maybe tomorrow I'd invite him over and tell him everything. Or go to his now that I have a roommate.
"You'd do that?"
"Of course," I said quickly, "Look, once this gets to our parents shit going to hit the fan. And seeing as both of us are the only child, we are gonna have to rely on each other. And--" I paused, "It'd be nice to have a friend."
"Okay, yeah. That would be amazing. Thanks, Truceson."
I pushed myself to my feet with a loud groan and grabbed the edge of my couch to steady myself.
I'm going to regret this in the morning...seeing as my schedule is full of meetings that I canceled this afternoon so I could confess my feelings to Sean. Like I was in some fucking romcom.
"Oh, and hey, you and Sean are very cute together." I snapped my head towards her and I instantly regretted it, as I felt myself get lightheaded.
"How?"
"It was so glaringly obvious, dude. Anyone with eyes could see how much that guy was into you."
I had to fight the smile that wanted to appear on my face at the thought. This whole time Sean liked me and I had no idea...
"I'm going to bed. I'll see you around, Truce."
And for the first time in a long fucking time, I slept peacefully.
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Short little chapter with Dae and Truce. Now you're about to see the real Dae, and I am excited about it! I know you're going to LOVE her! She's honestly so cool and a very good actress LOL.
I also told you guys this book was going to be super cute and fun (despite the title) so it feels relatively easy right now...then good. That's what I'm going for. LOL.
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Until the next...