Sophie's POV:
I tossed and turned in bed, my mind flooded with doubts and uncertainties. The night was dark, and only light seeped through the thin curtains, casting shadows across the room. Earlier that day, I had made an impulsive decision and turned in an eligibility test form to determine if I was compatible with my boyfriend, Fitz. And now, as I lay here, doubts were starting to consume me. Was I really meant for my boyfriend, Fitz? The thought gnawed at me, filling me with uncertainty.
A part of me can't believe that I just committed to this. That I acted and decided that I wanted Fitz to be my forever. Doubts are hitting me hard and I am frustrated that this is happening. Shouldn't I feel happy that I am getting the boy of my dreams? That we can have a good life together?
Just earlier that day, I had confidently submitted the form, convinced that me and Fitz were a perfect match. But as the night wore on, I couldn't help but question my decision. What if the test results said otherwise? What if we weren't meant to be together after all?
My thoughts were interrupted by a vivid memory. Keefe's face flashed before my eyes, his mischievous grin and his dazzling ice blue eyes. Why was I thinking about Keefe now? I pushed the thought away, unwilling to entertain the idea that there might be something more between them. But that night, sleep eluded me. I tossed and turned, restless with questions and doubts. I couldn't escape the nagging feeling that perhaps there was something missing in my relationship with Fitz. A connection I quite put my finger on.
Was this the right choice? Tears welled up in my eyes as I felt like I had made a huge mistake. I couldn't shake the feeling that everything was going to end badly. What if this was a disaster waiting to happen? Would I end up with a broken heart? Is a life with Fitz what I truly want deep down? The answer in my heart told me no, but then again, my head told me yes.
My tears continued to fall, their trails leaving damp imprints on my pillow. I felt overwhelmed by the fear of losing what I thought I cherished most. Would Fitz still love me if they were deemed incompatible? Something inside her told her no, reminding her of a previous situation like this. When it didn't go according to plan.
Would we fight to prove the test wrong, or would we surrender our love to the harsh realities of fate? I didn't know what to think.
My mind wandered back to past experiences, reminding me of how he always directs his anger towards me, even when it's not my fault. I realize that I forgive him too easily, and now I'm starting to think that maybe I shouldn't, as it doesn't seem to ever stop. There have been times when he hasn't proven himself trustworthy. I've noticed that he insists on knowing every personal detail about me, without giving me a choice in the matter. When I try to stand up for myself, he becomes angry. It feels like he's the one making all the decisions, as if my opinion doesn't matter.
It seems like he tries to control me at times. Some of these issues have died down a little, so I don't think it should be a problem now. Right? I need someone to talk to about this, someone who's not Fitz. I would talk to Biana, but sometimes I don't like telling her everything since she is connected to Fitz.
I think I should talk to Keefe about this. After all I feel the most comfortable telling him about this. I don't know why, but when it comes to these things, he doesn't scare me like Fitz does.
I grabbed my imparter and hailed him. He answered, sounding tired. "Foster. Something wrong?" he asked. "Yeah. I could really use someone to talk to right now," I told him honestly. "Okay. Do you want me to come over to talk about it?" he asked curiously. "Sure. It would be nice," I replied. "Okay, I'll be over in a second," he said, sitting up. "Thanks, Keefe," I told him. Keefe said thank you back and said he will meet me by Calla's tree before hanging up.
I get up wrapping a blanket around me and head out to the Panakes tree. Keefe appears a moment later. Sitting down next to me he asks. "So, what's on your mind Foster?"
"You know, Keefe," I began, my voice laced with hesitancy, "I can't help but wonder if taking the Eligibility test was a mistake. Should I have gone down this road with Fitz? What if it's not meant to be?"
Keefe raised an eyebrow, a curious gleam in his ice blue eyes. "Whoa, Sophie, slow down. Why the sudden influx of doubt? You and Fitz have always seemed so solid. Has something happened?" I hesitated before revealing the real catalyst for my doubts, fearing that it may sound trivial.
I looked down at my hands, fidgeting with the hem of my tunic. "It's his anger issues, Keefe. Every time something goes wrong, he explodes. He's been getting better recently, but what if it's not enough? What if it ruins our relationship?"
Keefe sighed; his voice filled with empathy. "I can see why that would worry you. Anger can be destructive, especially in a relationship." I nodded, grateful that Keefe understood my concerns. "I don't want to give up on Fitz, but I don't want to ignore red flags either. I just don't know what to do."
Keefe's voice grew determined. "You shouldn't have to settle, Sophie. You deserve someone who loves and accepts you completely."
A surge of gratitude filled my heart as I realized how lucky I was to have Keefe by my side. "Thank you, Keefe. You always know how to make me feel better." Keefe chuckled softly. "That's what friends are for. Just remember, it's okay to question things and make tough decisions. Your happiness is worth fighting for."
We chatted for a few minutes, catching up on things. Then he left, suggesting that we both should get a good night's sleep. I couldn't agree more. Even though sleep wasn't a part of my vocabulary in the past, I am sure glad it is now. Settling into my bed, I had a new sense of clarity. Everything will be just fine.
Keefe's POV:
As I lay in bed, memories of my conversation with Foster played over and over in my mind. Why was she starting to doubt Fitz? It pained me to see her like this, questioning their relationship. But I couldn't blame her for being skeptical. Fitz had made his fair share of mistakes, and I couldn't help but think that maybe she deserved better.
I shifted uncomfortably, feeling the weight of my own feelings for Foster pressing down on me. I had fallen for her before I even knew what had happened. And now, seeing her struggle with her feelings for Fitz made it even harder for me to ignore my own. As they started to rise back up a little bit. But I had to push them aside, for her sake.
Foster's happiness was my priority. I didn't want my own selfish desires to get in the way. So, I made the decision to be there for her as a friend, to support her in whatever she chose, even if it meant being with Fitz. It was a sacrifice, but one I was willing to make.
I wanted her to be happy more than anything. But I couldn't help that she would never achieve true happiness with Fitz.
With a heavy sigh, I closed my eyes and allowed myself to drift back to the day I met Foster. She had entered my life like a whirlwind, turning everything upside down. Her bright brown eyes and infectious laughter had captivated me from the start. And as I got to know her, I couldn't help but fall deeper under her spell.
But love was never easy, was it? Especially when the person you loved, loved someone else. Fitz was a nice guy, there was no denying that. And part of me wished I could be more like him, someone who could give Foster the stability and happiness she deserved. But deep down, I knew I couldn't change who I was, and maybe that was okay.
As the night wore on, my thoughts grew darker. I wondered if I could ever truly be happy, knowing that Foster would never be mine. It wasn't fair, but life rarely was. I had to accept my role as the friend, the one who would always be there for her, even if it meant hiding my true feelings away.
I shook my head, shaking those feelings off, drew me back to reality, and I realized that dwelling on the what-ifs wouldn't get me anywhere. Foster needed my support, not my angst. I had to be strong for her, even if it meant keeping my own heartbreak hidden.
With newfound determination, I pushed myself out of bed and glanced at the clock. It was late, but I couldn't let my thoughts consume me any longer. I promised myself that I would be there for her, no matter what.
With that, I close my eyes knowing that I am doing this for Foster. She means the world to me, and I do anything to ensure her happiness. Even if it hurts my own heart in the process, but I guess this means I truly love her deep down, right?
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*I really don't like Sofitz, I don't like writing it either makes me cringe. But I respect those who ship it. You ship what you want, and I'll ship what I want*
"There's an open sky, and a reason why. You shine, shine your way. There's so much to learn, and now it's your turn. To shine, shine your way." (Shine Your Way-Owl City "The Croods")
Keep Being Cool
-KotLC183