Friday morning, a beautiful day for those with plans, and just another normal day for those without. A good day. If not because it signifies the end of a hectic weekday, then because it is the start of the chill mode of the weekend. Either way, a great day to either go out and have fun with friends or just chill at home and watch movies in the comfort of your couch.
So many plans, so many things to do that would bring one's dull mood high up in the clouds, so much that they forget about any sorrow or stress.
So many things to do, yet Layla finds herself sitting in a very uncomfortable chair, locked inside four walls dull enough to send anyone into a sudden panic attack.
She felt nervous, restless. Her clothes felt too tight but also too loose. Too thick yet too thin. She wasn't sure which was louder between the drumming of her heart, and her breathing.
She felt her own anxiety threatening to choke her, to strangle her so that she falls into the bliss of a darkness that comes too short but provides mental rest before confusion.
But then a hand holds her own. Careful, cautious. Soft, gentle. Her eyes stop with their room scanning mission and fall into an ocean of calm black eyes. Her heart skips a beat and she just wants to cry. Partly because of the anxiety she feels, but mostly because no one has ever made her feel so much with just one gaze.
Riley, her Riley.
"It's okay, you're okay."
She feels her heart settle into a calmer rhythm, melting at the soothing voice of her lover who doesn't let go of her hand, sitting next to her, close to her. As if to say that being too far away may cause the ending of the world to come sooner. And Layla feels her love for her expand beyond the normal measure.
"I love you."
She smiles upon hearing the whisper sent her way, accompanied by a gentle stare and a small adorable smile. She cannot stop herself, doesn't want to. Moving forward to capture her lover's lower lip into her own, the latter kissing her back with closed eyes. Bliss, pure bliss as their eyes remain closed, lips still glued together like a tattoo on skin. Like two missing puzzle pieces joining together in a beautiful way without the backgrounds of their board. Suddenly, they are both dancing in one dream as they kiss, sinking into one world. A world of love. Genuine love. Limitless love. Dangerous love.
Audible clanging brings them out of their bliss and they slowly pull away, as if moving away means gaining oxygen when none of them want to breath yet. Riley places a feather-like kiss on her forehead, and Layla cannot help closing her eyes because the simple singular act alone is enough to turn her cheeks a lighter shade of red.
Soon, the door opens and both women turn to face it in anticipation, standing up from their chairs with their eyes glued to the door. Soon, their hands part as a woman walks in, accompanied by a guard.
Staring at them both, her dull eyes brighten up and she smiles, impatiently lifting her handcuffed wrists to the prison guard who quickly removes them before quietly leaving the room, not bothering to remind the three women of the limited time they have.
Mariposa, still looking young despite the years that have passed, faces them again. Her eyes first land on her daughter who walks closer to her, before drifting to the nervous looking young woman who stays rooted on the spot in which she stands, eyes cast to her pink sneakers as if they were the most interesting thing in the room.
"Mom," Riley greets her in a polite tone, and her eyes quickly turn to look at her.
Her face breaks into a wide smile and she takes a step closer to her daughter, contemplating on whether or not to give her a hug.
"You came to see me," she said quietly, the on your own accord goes unsaid. Riley gives her a short nod, glancing at her girlfriend who looks up at her looking nervous.
"I want you to meet someone very important to me," Riley responds as she takes Layla's hand into her own, giving her a small smile before facing her mother who looks to their glued hands with a knowing smile.
"Meet Layla, my girlfriend."
Girlfriend. Layla's cheeks turned crimson at the mention of the name, and she wondered if her heart would beat so calmly once it changed from girlfriend to wife. Perhaps she was getting ahead of herself by having such thoughts, but she just couldn't help it. The love she felt for Riley was too much for her to contain, too much for her to stay without any form of lawful proof that indicates it's existence.
Mariposa didn't waste time, she moved forward and pulled her daughter-in-law into a tight hug. At first, Layla froze out of shock and panic, but her body soon relaxed and she hugged her back. Riley couldn't stop her smile at the sight.
She had imagined, for far too long, how it would look like to find a partner for herself, one that her mother quickly liked. She never worried about her father's approval, because it never really mattered to her back then, but she always wanted her mother to feel proud of her in every path she chose, every decision she took.
She had played it out in her head many times, but never did she think that it would make her feel so warm, so full and contented. Her life felt complete. Her mother and lover, now talking animatedly as they now sit down on the cold table. Such a beautiful sight. She lets her smile show as she blinks away her tears, knowing very well that now that her mother has found something to bring her joy such as a daughter-in-law telling her about their plans of having a baby, she will now stop fighting her father over getting her out of this prison that has kept her away from her daughter and husband.
.......
"Good morning miss Smith. How are you doing today?" Jennie held the straps of her backpack and smiled at the young man working as her assistance. They were almost the same age, but he refused to address her by her name.
"Hey Billy. I'm doing good. How are you doing today?" She greeted him back, and he gave her a boyish smile that made her smile back at him. He really was a good guy, and an even better employee.
"I'm good. I compiled a list of all the new performers like you asked. There's a lot of them," He replied, handing her a file that she wasted no time in opening.
"There's also the new menu containing old meals and new ones. Our supplier wants you to take a look at it first then give him feedback," he added, referring to the food truck that had soon transformed into a food factory that only supplied food to Jennie's "Art house" as she had named it. Turns out that the money they got by producing mainly for the house, was more than the one they made as an independent food truck.
"I see that list. We have new painters this time, huh?" Jennie asks, raising her eyes for only but a minute to look at Billy who nods at her, before she continues to go through the file.
"They didn't make a fuss about not getting enough working equipment or a huge working space like the last ones," he added, and Jennie couldn't be more grateful.
"Thank Lord," she said, which made Billy laugh. Because although most of her artists were darlings, some where too demanding for her liking.
"I like how this new menu has options for vegans. It was hard having to watch them leave the house to go and look for food elsewhere while others eat here," she added, still going through the file.
Business was good, great even. With the rate that she was moving at, she had only but a few years before she found herself being as wealthy as her father, if not more.
Her life was great. She and Mia got their results that they both celebrated by taking a mini vacation to some resort out of town. She hadn't wanted to involve herself in her father's business despite his pleas, for fear of running into Riley. Because although it has been long since she saw her, talked to her, seen her, felt and touched her, she was still very much in love with her.
But she knew it was too late for her. It's not as if she stalked the older woman, well, maybe she did. But she truly couldn't just stay away now, could she? Riley is, afterall, the reason why she no longer depends on her father for anything. With the money she earns at the house, she managed to rent herself a small apartment, but she still visits her home. Sometimes she eats lunch with them before returning to her own place. But on the days when her youngest brother refuses to let her leave, she spends the night, but never really a full day. She loved them all, really. But she desperately needed to have her own space. Especially after everything that had happened over the past year.
Mia had left to further her studies. Because unlike Jennie who really was done with school, she still wanted to get more qualifications so she can get her dream job even though Jennie had offered her partnership of the Art House. She still helped around the place whenever she came down to visit though, always complaining over Jennie's refusal to move on. They hadn't really spent too much time together with both of them being busy.
"Oh and that guy who keeps calling the house and asking for you? He called again," Jennie rolled her eyes then. Because she didn't know how or why, but her ex Jimmy had found out where she worked despite her tries to avoid him, and had been trying to get her back. Of course, she gave him no attention, but he really was getting annoying.
A lot of guys, and some girls, had been asking her out lately but she really wasn't ready to start dating again. If not because she wanted to solely focus on her business, then because she still thought about Riley. She reminisced about how she treated her, supported her, cared for her. She dreamed of what they were, what they could've been. Really, no day passed by without her cursing her foolish mind for bringing into her head, those silly thoughts of doubt that made her distance herself from the woman.
She felt ashamed of herself when Bryan had released a statement, cancelling out his accusation of Riley killing his best friend. Because for a second, she really did believe him. Her heart broke everytime she remembered the night she found a drunk Riley hiding away in a guest room, broken and sad because people just wouldn't stop comparing her to her father, and throwing his sins at her. Because as soon as their contract was terminated, she had done exactly that despite promising not to. At times, she hated herself for not being there for the older woman. She knew how much Riley had needed the support, especially the emotional one. But like an ungrateful brat, she had avoided her like the plague, ghosted her as if she had never mattered to her.
It was disheartening, really. To think about how she had just wasted her chance at genuine love. Just a day ago she had visited her late mother's grave, and she couldn't help remembering how Riley once held her when she cried over her. She knew that her father still did business with the Browns, hence she avoided associating herself with anything that had to do with his business. Because how do you face someone who continued to show you love and care even after you treated them like a monster?
.......
Monday morning of an entirely new year, a great morning. Riley's mother was released on parole a few weeks into the new year, and her father couldn't be more grateful. He looked brighter now, happier. He smiled more, laughed more, and even made jokes. Her family was finally coming together and Riley couldn't be more glad.
Currently, her mother and lover where in the kitchen putting together food for their get-together lunch while Max, her father and herself where dealing with the meat, talking and laughing with cold beers held in their hands. A beautiful day, especially with the announcement she and her lover had for the family.
Max's parents would soon join them as well, because they had taken upon themselves a ritual of having a day where they all joined together to have lunch and just catch up. Layla's sister- Jude, was also coming over, but Layla refused to have her parents join. Turns out that her mother had a son for her husband, one that Layla didn't know about because according to Jude, Layla didn't really care enough to know anything about their parents' lives. Her father was busy going on vacation trips with his own wife. Their lives where great, amazing even, and although her sister was happy for them, Layla still couldn't move on from the pain they brought her. Jude often called her selfish, and it hurt because she knew nothing, really. Because she wasn't there when the family broke apart, wasn't there to personally experience it. Because Layla wasn't bitter over their divorce, her heart was far too kind for such unfair emotion, but it is how they handled the whole thing that pained her. Their actions negatively affected her life, her choices, and they didn't apologise for the trauma they put her through as a child.
Sometimes she wished she could erase all those horrible memories of loud yelling, broken plates and glasses. A depressed father, a cheating mother. Those things were hard to erase from ones memory, especially when you were the one always left to clear the remains of waste left from their every heated fight. Jude didn't know, because they all hid it from her. But Layla knew, and she still had nightmares about it. But she was happy, genuinely happy, and her heart was at peace right where she was.
She had Max, her best friend who finally found a woman he could commit to. She had Peterson and Mariposa, who treated her like their daughter and really wanted no harm to happen to her. Peterson had even insisted on her moving around with some of his guards for her safety, but she had politely declined the offer, not wanting to draw anymore attention to herself. Mariposa asked her to move in with them, another offer she also declined. Being a girlfriend to a Brown alone already made her way too renowned. She wasn't complaining though.
She had Max' parents, who were always happy to see her whenever she visited Max.
But most importantly, she had Riley, her Riley, and with the news coming up, she couldn't be more satisfied and happy. She was happy, and her heart was at peace.
She was happy, fully contented and satisfied, right where she was.
As the day proceeded, every expected person soon showed up and the Brown's mansion, once turned into a ghost town, was filled with laughter and endless chatter. Riley and Max where now the only ones left to guard the meat since Peterson had escaped to talk about sports and business with Max' father. The ladies where still in the kitchen and the helpers made themselves scarce, glad to finally see some light in the huge house.
The two watched the meat in silence, beers held in their hands. Max looked around and a new expression masked his face, the change making his friend look at him weirdly.
"What is it?" She asked him, sensing that he either wanted to ask something, or say something. Max looked at her seriously, searching her eyes.
"Are you happy?" He asked her, and Riley's expression softened, settling on a small smile.
"I am," she responds simply, a spark glowing in her eyes as she looks over to the door where the sound of Layla and the older woman could still be heard.
"I really thought you'd end up with Jennie. What changed?" He asked, the question bringing Riley's dark stare to him. Her smile turns into a thin line, but she doesn't frown.
"Nothing changed."
"But you're with Layla now," Max states in confusion, not understanding any of his friend's responses.
"I am."
"What about Jennie? Do you not love her anymore?" He asks again, a confused expression on his face. Riley's eyes don't move from his.
"It depends on how you choose to define love. How you view it, label it," she tries to explain, but even then her friend still doesn't understand.
"I still don't understand man. It's like you're speaking in riddles."
"Then go right ahead and ask me the exact question pulling your curiosity and confusion," Riley orders, her voice calm yet her eyes showing a deep glow of something that Max cannot point out. A dark yet soft look. He sighs and looks away, because Riley's stare is always hard to handle.
"I just want to know why you chose Layla over Jennie. Especially when you had already chosen Jennie in the past."
Riley looks away from him, turning around slowly to give him her back. Max looks up then, his eyes fixed on the back of her head as a small sigh escapes from her lips.
"I'm not sure if you'll understand, or will end up more confused," she starts, and Max is grateful because she isn't avoiding the question like he thought she would.
"Try me," he demands softly, awaiting to hear her response.
"Believe it or not," Riley response, turning around to face him once more.
"I love them both. Jennie is wonderful, amazing even. Layla is so fucken incredible man. She's everything in one, you know?"
"But?"
"But I can't have both. It wouldn't be fair on any of them. I also couldn't handle all that," Riley confesses, taking a swig of her beer to help calm her emotions. Max gives her an understanding look.
"But why Layla? Why not Jennie?"
"Jennie loves me. But she is still young. There is so much she can achieve alone because she has potential, but having my name connected to hers can ruin that for her. Love alone is not enough. That one is a fact. She loves me, but she cannot handle everything that I come with. You saw what happened when an accusation of me killing someone came up. She ran for it. She distanced herself. I don't hate her for that, I couldn't even if I tried. But Jennie cannot handle being with me beyond the kindness and the generosity. My darkness, would consume her."
"And Layla?" Max asks, his voice low and sad because he can see how hard it has been for his best friend to make a choice and to stick to it.
"Layla is and has never been afraid to love me. She does is freely, shamelessly, fearlessly, proudly. She loves me, the real me. Behind this Riley that is ever so calm and sweet. She knows me at my worst, at my darkest times, but she still loves me. She loves all of me. I'm not saying one of them is better than the other. Hell, I'm not even comparing here. But tell them both that I have just killed someone, right here and right now. Then see who will still stay," she says, her eyes burning with determination.
Max looks away and Riley let's out a deep sigh, already knowing his response.
"I'm dark Max. I have some serious issues. I need someone who can love all of me, not just some part of me. I need someone who not only wants to be with me, but can handle me too. I love them both, but Layla is my choice and that will not change. She is not perfect, I'm not perfect."
"What about the past? What about the times that she pushed you away? You chased her for years man. Why do you always go back to her?"
"Because, Max! Because I cannot stay away. Don't you get it? There is no me without her. Because she is a part of me. There is no soul without a mate. My soulmate. What of the times that I changed girls in her presence? Did she judge me for it? No. Did she leave? No. She has never, ever, treated me like some kind of monster or sick person. Not even on the days when I really was being a monster."
She runs a hand into her hair, ruffling it before letting out a long breath and turning away from Max to look at the meat as he turns it.
"It's okay to have someone who always see the best in you. That's gold. But to find someone who sees even your worst, but still decides to stay. To endanger themselves by risking it. That's platinum."
"Max looks at her for a second before looking away, knowing that continuing the conversation would be a bad idea considering how Riley's good mood has been dampened.
Later on into the day, they all gather in the dinner room to eat. They all help to set the table, Layla's eyes with the occasional glance at Riley who seems to be lost in her thoughts.
She takes the chance to find out what's bothering her when Riley rushes upstairs to get something. Walking into her closed room, she finds her sitting down on the edge of her bed, her face hidden in the palms of her hands.
"Baby?" She calls to her quietly, and Riley slowly looks up at her, her face masked by too many emotions for her to understand. But she smiles at her, opening her arms as an indication for her lover to approach her.
Layla walks in, closing the door behind. She walks closer to her and settles down on her thighs, a contented sigh immediately leaving her lips as soon as she feels Riley wrap her arms around her stomach, pulling her back against against her torso.
"You're not okay," Layla whispers, getting comfortable as she lays her head on Riley's shoulder, both her legs dangling on one side of Riley's legs. She plays with her fingers, keeping her eyes on them.
Riley lets out a small sigh and tightens her hold around her.
"I am not." She responds honestly, unable to lie to her lover. Layla lifts her a head a bit to place a kiss on her lover's cheek before hiding her face in the crook of her neck.
"I love you because you always smell so good," she whispers, and her face breaks into a small smile when Riley chuckles due to her words.
"You're crazy," Riley whispers back fondly, kissing her head.
"Your crazy," Layla corrects her, and Riley chuckles again because Layla can be super adorable when she wants to be.
"My crazy," she repeats, a smile staying on her face as her eyes shine with so many emotions.
"I love you Riley."
"I know. I love you too."