Ayaan Fadel.
Hadewa Caliphate,
Nigeria.
10 Years Ago
Turns out Rabia Fadel is a friend of my mother's from college. I don't think I can recall my mother speaking of her—or maybe, she did and I just never paid attention to it—I couldn't be sure.
All I know though, is that the minute we arrived at their home in Hadewa, I could already tell that she and I would get along. It was just a feeling you know, it's hard to explain. I tried to brush it away, because I could remember on our way there, Mami said something about them going back to the States.
It seemed they were only visiting to take a break.
On a business level, I know them. Her husband, Hosain Fadel is a pretty influential man in the business world. And from what I know, they only have one child...Ayaan Fadel. He's around my age from what I know.
However, no one knows a thing about him aside from that. His parents had simply kept him away from the business world to the point that, hardly anyone could tell what he looks like. There had been various speculations regarding him, I had mine as well until Mami put an end to it.
"Their child is sickle cell, so he gets sick quite a lot." She stated, while we were on the plane to Hadewa. We could've went by car, since it isn't that far but it's better to choose the safer side as well.
Baba and Anisa were sitting in front of us, while Mami and I were seated behind them. I didn't mind. I don't admit this, but I'd always gotten along with her even more than Baba—that to say doesn't mean I have a bad relationship with him, no.
I guess it's what you'll call me being my mother's boy and Anisa her father's princess. It's easier to understand if I put it that way.
"—It's hard for them both already, so they choose to keep him away from the media for his peace of mind."
I found myself nodding. I could understand where they're coming from. Being the face of media in our world is a normal thing, but that doesn't mean it's a good thing necessarily. It's not—hence, why I try to not get involved as well.
"I could only imagine how tough it would've been for him." I voiced out lowly. It's already tough being sick, the media would only make it worse.
Despite not knowing anything about him at the moment, you wouldn't want to know what sort of stories are being cooked up out there about him. It's sickening the way some of them are addressing him. So, I'd believe his parents made the right decision by keeping him away from those judging eyes.
Mami nodded slowly, "It is." She blew out a breath, tilting her head up so her eyes would meet mine. "He recently passed away."
My eyes widened almost instantly, as I whipped my head around to look at her. Perhaps, it's because of what happened to Nailah, but I haven't been doing well with anything regarding death. It's only been two days since it happened, and it seemed her family plan on covering it.
How though? I'm yet to find out.
I didn't know Ayaan personally, but I would be lying if I said I didn't feel his death hit me. It doesn't matter who death reaches, it's never an easy thing.
"Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi rajiun." I muttered, my shoulders slacking.
Mami didn't say a thing. She simply reached her hand out to take mine in hers, and then cover it with the other. She then leaned back on the seat, her gaze still on me. "That's partially why I want to visit her as well. It's been tough for everyone recently, you especially. I am hoping the change of scenery would be good for you."
I didn't know what to say, mostly because it's the first time Mami is speaking to me regarding what happened. I didn't give her the chance to do that in the past two days. I simply locked everyone out. I didn't mean to do that, but I couldn't bring myself to simply interact like nothing happened.
I didn't want them to see the side of me I've been trying to hide. The side that's affected by what happened. I didn't want Anisa to see me this way, especially since we plan to keep it from her as well.
I guess, I didn't give much thought to how my parents felt about me shutting them out. I didn't give much thought to how Mami felt.
She'd always been the most emotional of us all, as well as she's the strongest.
She gave my hand a small squeeze, as if the action voices out all the things she couldn't bring herself to say at the moment. "—I know you feel like you need to pretend everything is fine, for the sake of your sister as well..." She dropped her voice to a whisper so the two seated in front wouldn't hear us. I doubt it, they seemed too caught up in their own little world.
"...however, it's okay to break down. Don't hold it in. Any time you feel like you need to let it out, do so." Her eyes glossed over slightly. "I would be more than willing to hear it, okay? You don't have to go through anything on your own. I'm here for you, always."
I swallowed thickly, before I nodded slowly. Weirdly enough, I couldn't find it in me to cry. I haven't been able to do that in the past few days as well. I simply empty inside, I've been feeling that way for days now and even in this moment, I still felt empty.
It's a bad habit of mine since I was a kid. I was never one of those kids that cried when something happens to them. Mami said I was like that as a kid as well, I just exhibited the same character as an adult as well.
I don't think I can remember a single time I cried, no matter what I was never one to do. Just as I was never good at expressing myself or showing my pain. It's just better to tuck it all away. That's why I've always done.
That's what I'm doing right now as well.
Mami bit her lower lip, before she sighed and offered me a small smile. She'd made countless complaints about how I need to start opening up but I couldn't bring myself to do so. At that moment though, she didn't complain. She simply placed her head on my shoulder, her fingers now intertwined with mine.
She didn't add anything afterward. It seemed simply being there with me was enough for her. It was for me as well...until it wasn't.
The Fadels were more welcoming than I expected, and true to Mami's words, I could tell staying with them for a few days might just help me recuperate. For starters, they are both extremely nice, treating both me and Anisa like their own kids and their house in Hadewa is a sight to behold.
It was right next to the Prince of Hadewa, Aali Bin Bello and his wife, Aria Bello II's house. I've ran into them a couple of times, and they were nice as well. They are a beautiful couple indeed, one that would make one start to think of his own.
It helped even more than no one knew we were staying with them. Considering they are influential as well, they kept their visit to Hadewa a secret, so no one knew they are even in the country. As for us, all people know is that we came here for a short break. Nothing else, nothing more.
The days spent with them truly helped indeed—because a couple of times, I happened to forget everything that had happened. My parents and sister seemed to have enjoyed it as well, because by the time the stay came to an end, everyone seemed to be in a much better mood than when we first came here.
And without realizing it, I found myself standing in front of the car as my parents prepared to head back home, without me. I could still remember my conversation with my parents when I told them I wanted to stay longer. It didn't matter that the Fadels were planning to leave the next day as well, I wanted to stay in Hadewa for a couple of days more.
See, Maroudi is all about the riches and whatnot. When it comes to elites, it's the perfect place for it.
Hadewa though is more on the beautiful, but peaceful side. It's pretty much a simple place, one that has this power of making one feel whole again. It's hard to explain.
"I'd like to stay here for a few days longer." I announced, earning both their attention on me.
Mami shifted her gaze to Baba, as if wanting to see what his reaction would be before moving it to me again. "A few days longer?" She repeated, making me nod. She thought about it for a few seconds, before she mimicked my action. "Well, I don't think there should be anything wrong with that..." Yet again, she threw a curious glance at my father whose expression was blank as always.
He held my gaze, his expression not giving anything away. "Is this what you truly want?" He questioned, not seeming upset but rather, curious.
And like the other time, I found myself nodding. "Yes. I just feel like I'd need a few days away more." I wasn't ready to return to Maroudi, because I know it'll never be the same again.
You could say I'm avoiding it.
I don't know if they could tell, but they didn't say a thing about it. Instead, Baba offered me a small smile. "If that's what you truly want, then stay. When you're ready, you can come back."
That leads us to how I now stand, bidding them farewell. This time around, they are traveling by car. The weather is bad, so they can't take the flight. The Maroudi Summit is taking place that night, so they couldn't afford to wait, hence why they had to leave then.
Besides, it isn't far from Hadewa to Maroudi. There's just a certain bridge that people hardly like to pass through, considering it's not entirely good. They were certain nothing bad would happen though, even though I had a unsettling feeling inside telling me otherwise.
And I was right.
Because only about an hour later, Mami's friend whom I'm still staying with, Rabia Fadel showed up in my room with a look that screamed something being off. From then onward, everything pretty much passed in a blur.
I don't know how long it took me to reach the spot, or how I managed to get there. All I know is, I found myself staring as the car my parents left in was being pulled out of the water from the bridge. I didn't need anyone to tell me, I could tell from the state of the car that it would be a miracle if anyone makes it alive.
There were a lot of people there, their voices collectively being a loud murmur. The sounds of the sirens in the background, and it's flashes felt blinding at the moment. Everything felt, and sounded so distant.
Just as I made an attempt to push the people there, blocking me from getting the full view, arms wrapped around me, pulling me back with great effort. I tried to fight against it, nothing going through my mind aside from wanting to reach out, and see my family.
I didn't want to accept it, I needed to see for myself to be certain they're gone.
I never got the chance to do so though, because I was pulled away from the scene.