We nestled almost at the cliff's edge, the fading sunlight cast long shadows, creating an intimate atmosphere. The dark hues of the sunset painted the sky in rich purples and oranges, heralding the gradual transition into night. The distant city noises echoed faintly, a distant hum beneath the symphony of nature.
The lush vegetation surrounding us whispered in the evening breeze, rustling leaves carrying the scent of earth and greenery. A nearby waterfall added its melodic notes to the tranquil setting, its cascading waters harmonizing with the rhythmic sounds of the approaching night.
We silhouetted against the darkening sky, sharing a quiet moment, the horizon ablaze with the last remnants of daylight. The edge of the cliff provided a front-row seat to nature's evening performance, and as the stars began to emerge, we found solace in the serenity of the moment, wrapped in the beauty of the twilight landscape.
~Flashback~
"You need to stop acting like a coward Issa, if you want to survive this world then this is your only way." She shouted with fury.
"What? You think you'll get what you want by kneeling by your bedside every morning and night, talking to someone who doesn't exist, and you'll be saved? C'mon where was your 'God' when your mother passed away, huh? Where was he when your father turned blind eyes to his old friend molesting you at a young age?"
Her words cut through me like a knife. But I couldn't deny that she was right. I've been relying on my faith to save me, but it never changed my situation. Tears streamed down my face as she continued, "This isn't a fairytale sweetheart so wake up and face the reality of the world we live in. I'm sorry, but if you can't start making an income for yourself then I'd have to kick you out." She finished and walked away.
On my knees, curled into a fragile ball, tears streamed down my cheeks like a relentless river of despair. As I gazed up at the vast expanse of the sky, a silent plea escaped my lips, a desperate hope that God would somehow hear my tears and intertwine them with the meager remnants of faith within me, saving me from the depths of my tumultuous situation. However, it felt as though the heavens themselves had abandoned me, leaving me to grapple with the echoes of my own suffering.
Day after day, the relentless trials I faced begged the unanswerable question: why did God test me so profoundly? What had I done to deserve the unyielding challenges that seemed to define my existence? The vastness above, once a source of solace, now appeared indifferent, as if my struggles were an insignificant whisper in the grand narrative of the universe.
In the silence that followed my plea, the heavens remained unresponsive, and the weight of my unanswered prayers hung heavy in the air. Each passing day became a journey through the labyrinth of doubt, leaving me to wonder if there was a purpose behind the hardships or if I was merely a pawn in a cosmic game of chance. The tears, etched with the unspoken pain of my soul, continued to fall, a poignant reminder of my quest for meaning in the face of an enigmatic and seemingly indifferent divine presence.
"Lila, she was the refuge I sought when I could no longer bear my father's oppressive ways. During those times, Leonel was away at a boarding school, then college, leaving a void that Lila filled with her unconventional lifestyle. It diverged starkly from the godly upbringing I had known, but I couldn't hold it against her. Her origins told a story of abandonment and struggle, as she was left in a brothel by her parents shortly after birth and raised in a strip club by one of the women working there.
The path she walked was a consequence of circumstances beyond her control, a narrative shaped by the choices of others. It was easy to see that the blame rested solely on her parents, who, unprepared for the responsibilities of parenthood, had brought an innocent life into a world of hardship. But the least her foster mother could do was not let her start that at an early age.
I remember my first night with her, I could clearly hear the sound of their moans and groans from the room. It baffled my spirit because I wasn't used to such sounds and scenes. I didn't understand what was happening, but I knew it was something that I shouldn't be hearing. I grew up with a religious household where any form of intimacy before marriage was frowned upon. But there I was, in a completely new situation, and I didn't know how to react.
As the days went by, my spirit and my faith in the Lord began to weaken. I started to spend more time with her, listening to her words and slowly giving in to the world. My first time, which was the one I consented to, i enjoyed it and for that moment I forgot about my worries. Every time I had sex with someone or with a dildo I realized I felt good after, so I kept on with that as long as I derived peace and happiness.
Not only did I succumb to promiscuity, but I also sought solace in the numbness brought by drinking, smoking, and indulging in meaningless luxury.
These fleeting pleasures became my escape, a way to find temporary happiness in the midst of a life that often left me crying myself to sleep every night. In moments of despair, I couldn't help but lay blame on God for the path my life had taken.
Despite the well-intentioned guidance from my stepmother, Lakshmi, and Astra, who insisted that my struggles were all part of God's grand plan, I remained stubbornly resistant. Blinded by hurt and rage, I refused to accept that my challenges had a purpose.
Instead, I chose to dwell in sin, clinging to moments of joy, no matter how fleeting, it served as a form of rebellion against the pain that had become a constant companion in my journey."
As I finished narrating my tale, tears stained my cheeks, a poignant testimony to the battles waged within, and the scars left by a life shaped by both defiance and desperation.
"Hey, Tesoro," he called softly, pulling me into a tight hug.
"Stop crying, okay? That's in the past, and you won't be judged for that. God, the creator, has forgiven you. Who would I be if I hold that against you?" He whispered soothingly, attempting to calm me down.
While I felt a bit more at ease, the lingering sense of regret persisted. Once my sobs turned into quiet whimpers, I decided to inquire about his own past.
"What about you? How was your past?" I asked, eager to understand the chapters of his life that had shaped the man comforting me in that moment.
He sighed, the weight my words hung in the air, revealing a troubled past etched into his being, his subtle smile masking the scars of a forced destiny.
"I didn't engage in activities as extensively as you may assume. The circumstances of my birth compelled me to become involved in the mafia lifestyle, and at the age of eight, I carried out my initial act of murder," judging by his gaze, it was evident that this had been a deeply traumatic ordeal for him.
"I've always held a strong aversion towards the repulsive acts of physical and sexual abuse, as they abhorred my very being.
One fateful night, after a tiring day, as I made my way to my room, a piercing cry caught my attention- it was the distressed voice of Marilyn, my nanny.
Without hesitation, I hurried to her quarters and the sight that met my eyes ignited an overwhelming anger within me. To my utmost relief, I intervened just in time, interrupting my uncle who was looming over her with impure intentions. My response came as an instinctual reaction.
I experienced the violent and common existence of a mafia member. I was so immersed in the harsh lifestyle that I neglected my family. Rarely did I go back home, and when I did, I barely spent any time with them. Perhaps, if I had given them my focus, many traumas could have been prevented. As for embracing religion? That was a concept I never fully accepted. My mother raised us with religious values, but as I got older, it appeared absurd to me."
After he concluded, a profound silence engulfed us.
The gentle breeze carried a subtle embrace, the song of crickets provided a lullaby, and distant murmurs from the sea below added a soothing cadence to the nocturnal symphony.
Taking his hand into mine, I looked into his eyes and offered a reassuring smile, a glimmer of hope amidst the echoes of a tumultuous past.
"It's all in the past now," i began, my voice a soft melody in the quiet night. "We've been given the chance to craft the best chapters of our lives. Let's seize that opportunity, create memories that defy the shadows, and build a haven on earth for our children."
His response was a chuckle, a warm sound that resonated with the promise of shared dreams and a future woven with love. His eyes, twinkled with excitement, mirroring the spark of optimism that my words ignited.
"You're right about that, Tesoro," he affirmed. With tenderness, he placed a lingering kiss on my forehead. Pulling you into the sanctuary of his chest, we both turned our gazes towards the star-studded canvas above.
As i nestled against him, the night unfolded its enchantment. The stars seemed to dance in celebration of a newfound pact, and the gentle waves below whispered secrets of resilience. The scent of the sea mingled with the warmth of our shared embrace, creating an immersive tableau of serenity.
Lost in the beauty of the stars, I drifted into a tranquil slumber, cradled on his shoulder.