Carter
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Tanisha wanted to meet for brunch and bottomless mimosas. I had to fill her in on everything that was happening in my life. She waved me down when I enter the restaurant. She stood up to hug me. "Look at that booty poking out back there." She squeezed my butt.
"Thank you...guess my Pilate sessions are working."
"Or Damien and Chace working..." her tone was stiff.
"That too."
"I cannot believe you agreed to be with them..." she sipped her mimosa. "A one-night stand, okay. But a real functioning relationship."
"Well, tell me how you really feel?"
"Sorry but fuck!" She went for a different glass; we had a sampler of five different flavors. "I hated them both for you...it took me months to get you out that bed."
"I remember but they have been really good to me..."
"You're too damn forgiving and Dame knows that shit and I hate it, but you are grown."
"I know you have your concerns,"
"So, damn many of them."
I understand she's just being a good friend but damn she was making me feel like an idiot...was I being one? Were people laughing at me. Did I come across as pathetic?
"Anyways, what's going on with you?"
"Ugh...Spence wants another baby, but you know I suffered postpartum depression after Jr and honestly, I don't want more children."
"You just started at the law firm a couple years ago."
"Exactly, and I wanna pursue my career. I know I don't need to work but I didn't go to school all those years to be a housewife."
"Spence is understanding. I'm sure both of you will come to some type of agreement."
"I hope so," the waiter brought us some red velvet waffles, fried lobster and shrimp & grits. "So, do they plan on marrying you too or like what's the end game here?"
"We didn't discuss that,"
"Carter sweetie, they need to tell you exactly what's up. They aren't exactly the kind of niggas you can rely on."
"I'm good, okay Tanisha." I cut her off.
She put her hands up. "My bad,"
"You're coming off a bit abrasive,"
"I feel a bit apprehensive about the entire ordeal,"
"They have been treating me very good and I like what we're doing." I took a bite of my food. Who was I trying to convince?
She expressed no interest in what I was saying. Just stuffed her mouth with food, probably to keep herself from saying something hurtful. I twirled the fork around between my fingers. "I just don't agree with this,"
"Fuck Tee...ma'am can you please bring the check?" I put my hand in the air for the waitress attention.
"I can no longer keep shit real with you? Then imma just not say anything." She pulled her card out.
"Split the check please," I told the waitress.
"I said I was treating you." she handed her the card.
"I can pay for my own food. Just like I can take care of myself." I gave her my card as well. The waitress quickly walked away, obviously uncomfortable with us arguing.
We both stood up. "Sit down for a second Carter,"
"I'm leaving..."
"Carter please," she said desperately.
"What?" We both took a seat.
"I had my tubes removed,"
"Huh?"
"I cannot ever give him anymore children because I had my tubes removed." She picked up a mimosa and downed it.
"Oh my gosh Tee...and Spence doesn't know?"
She shook her head. "No,"
"Why did you do it?"
She lifted her shoulders. "Because being a mother changed my life so much. Don't get me wrong I love Jr with all of me but it's a lot sometimes. I also feel like Spence just expects me to just be a wife and mom. That's all he ever talks about wanting."
"Did you tell him you were feeling this way?"
"I don't like to make him feel bad or like he doesn't make me happy,"
"and are you?"
"For the most part but I do not want more children and he wants a village but there's more,"
"Shit I'm scared," I leaned forward.
"Two years ago, I had an abortion and that's when I made the decision to deal with pregnancy permanently. I knew right then and there I was never having another baby. I was freshly hired at the law firm and it would have just set me back another two years."
"Tee Spence would,"
"Hate me, divorce me and cut off all ties with me? Yeah, I've thought about all of that." She massages her temples. "I'm thinking about leaving him first before it all comes to the light, maybe save him some heartache."
"I don't know what to say, I can't even process what you're saying." I put my hands on my lap. "You are going to ask Spence for a divorce?"
"I have to after all the things I've done, he's not going to forgive me."
"Why hurt him though? He's like the best human being on this planet. You are his world, you and Jr."
"My nerves are strained by this and it's all I think about. I'm struggling to connect with him because we don't share the same-"
"Values."
She gave me a sideways look.
"Sorry Tee but Spence? Wow..for you to make all of these unchanging decisions without him, he is going to be devastated by this."
"Thank you for your honesty,"
"I can't cradle your feelings with this one and you might be right because he may never forgive you."
She just broke down. "Guess we're both disappointed in each other's choices lately."
I couldn't argue with that. Friends can't always agree, and we've shared our differences on multiple situations. In my eyes they were both the perfect couple. I admired them. I can't imagine someone wanting to give up Big Spence. I was sure he would have compromised for her but now I'm not sure what would happen with them. I wonder partly if she'd just grown bored with him and wanted a way out, but this was cruel.
Her body is hers and she can choose to do whatever makes her comfortable but this, this was unfair to this man. This man who would change the pavement under her feet if she didn't like the way it felt. The whole thing gave me a headache and I wanted to go home and lay down. Plus, now I was doubting what I was mixed up in again. I can't help that people opinions on me, are important. Chace was so attentive to me the other night, we didn't have sex. Lord knows I would have folded, got on my knees in a heartbeat. Instead, we used that time to connect, to learn more about one another. He cried to me and shared his fears and frustrations while I held him. I could love him one day.
I loved being with them. But Aiden did look good when I ran into him in the grocery store. Now, I was missing him. I stopped by my office to go over some stuff and it was a dumb thing to do because I was tipsy. Then I did something stupid.
"Hello,"
"Aiden...w-where are you?"
"Work." His voice was dry.
"Maybe we can talk..you can talk..we talk..." I tried squinting my eyes to read the papers on my desk.
"Talk?" That peaked his interest.
"Yes, unless you don't want too."
He didn't say anything, there was just breathing. "I don't wanna talk."
"Aw shucks...I wanna talk really bad." Lord, why was I even calling him?
"We can fuck..not really in the mood for words." I could just feel him smiling as he said that.
"Hmm..." I squeezed my thighs together.
"Location? I'll pull up."
I took a deep breath. "Work."
**************
Tanisha Tanisha Tanisha 😳
They way she's doing Spence?
How she was talking Carter but was some of it just a friend looking out?
Carter calling Aiden 👀👀👀👀 you think he will do it?