๐…๐ˆ๐Ž๐๐ | Review Shop

By MelloniaCommunity

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โ ๐…๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ง โž โ†ณ Translated from Gaelic โ†ณ Fair with wisdom, bravery and a connection to the mystical and na... More

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SHS [Ash]

37 4 2
By MelloniaCommunity

Book: Seducer, Hacker, Stealer
Author: _Baby_A_A_
Reviewer: _Ash_es
Chapters read: 5

Cover: 5/5
Damn girl, that cover! Take it easy. I like the way it matches perfectly with the title. Infact, it spells it out without the words. I dunno if you understand. In short, it was an amazing one.

Title and blurb: 8/10
What a gripping title. There is a lot of violence in it already. I don't think any action/crime genre lover would skip it if they stumbled upon it. The blurb was a hooker. Nicely and professionally written.

Introduction: 14/20
It was an action filled intro. It started off with a mission, in which they gave an impressive performance. I really like the way the girls handled everything. It was exciting and really cool. I also like how the characters were introduced. But some things made this first chapter a bit weird, like some word choices, sentence structure, awkward sounding dialogue. There was also a part where you were talking about a man called Simon. After the first few sentences, we have already established the fact that he was old but still good looking but you repeated it again. I understand that you're trying to make it clearer but know that sometimes readers are smarter than we writers think. But besides these things I mentioned, it was a suitable start.

Mechanics: 6/10
Your grammar was perfectly okay. Tenses used correctly. Spelling too was flawless. Paragraph spacing makes it easier to read. Now, based on the punctuation, I noticed you did it incorrectly for the dialogue. I don't think it should matter but that is English and writing I guess so we have to accept it. So, it's a comma not a full stop before the ending quotation mark and the word after the quotation should begin with a lowercase letter since the sentence isn't over. Well, except it's a proper noun or ''I". Another thing I noticed: Some sentences had already ended and then you added a comma and began a new sentence. I suggest you break them up. Besides that, the punctuation was alright.

Plot: 4/5
Some scenes were thrilling, some were cute, some intense. It has a great plot. The serious tone and the different settings makes it even harder to lose interest. And the fact that Josephine likes this man who she isn't supposed to just makes it better.

Originality: 7/10
I wouldn't say it's a hundred percent original. It's a typical, you know, seduce, kill and steal story. It was brilliant though and your characters and their missions are definitely unique. Just add something a teeny bit different to the action part, just to set your story apart.

Writing style: 15/20
I always love a simplistic style. Books don't have to be laden with outlandish and heavy words before it can be a good one. Your descriptions were great. You made the characters vivid. It was easy to flow through the story, the scenes were written clearly and there was no telling instead of showing. Although, I advise you to vary your sentences a little. Some are a little too long. Break them up a bit. Nevertheless, your writing is commendable, keep it up.

Enjoyment: 16/20
I love banter, I love dangerous and risky things. I really liked it so much even though there were some issues. But overlooking them, great story.

Total: 75/100


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