Back to traveling we go, not that I am at all complaining. As much as it was nice to be at home for a bit, I've always loved the hustle of Joe's life on tour. From DNCE to now, it's always been one of my favorites, especially seeing how happy it makes him. However, this time we are overseas in the UK, which makes it that much more exciting for me, never being overseas before. Regardless, I can't find myself too excited as the human growing inside of me make more and more of themselves known. The morning sickness has simply gotten worse and ever since the scare I had given myself a few weeks ago, I've been more cautious around anything and everything. I can't help but be scared, regardless of my feelings. I've been trying to listen to Joe, who's constantly telling me how great of a mom I'm going to be, but I still think I'm going to be atrocious.
A week after the hospital visit, we had our first ultrasound with my doctor, giving us the opportunity to again hear the heartbeat and the doctor the opportunity to assure us that everything is going perfectly in terms of my pregnancy. Apparently, the only thing I'm doing wrong is not taking a prenatal vitamin, which I, of course, now do. The secret has remained a secret, thankfully, and honestly, we're both enjoying the privacy of having the pregnancy a secret I'm not quite sure when we'll tell anyone. Though, I'm just hoping no one gets suspicious the more distant I become. We had already asked to travel to the UK separately in order to keep the morning sickness more of a 'we just want a little more us time'. Only now, it's an hour until showtime and I'm still feeling just as sick as I did earlier, if not worse. Chinese is not an option anymore as I can't keep it down anyway. Instead, I seem to be eating more cereal and oatmeal, which has never been a preference of mine, so it feels quite odd. Today, weirdly enough, I am 10 weeks pregnant, meaning I can officially get the blood test to tell us the gender of the baby. We weren't going to find out, but after the hospital visit and then the first ultrasound, we both decided we actually do want to know. If I'm being honest, I think Joe wants a girl, but he'd never admit it. He just keeps saying that no matter what, as long as the baby is healthy, he's happy. But really, I think he wants a girl.
"Hey baby," Joe calls, snapping me out of my daydream as I lay on the couch in his dressing room.
"Hm?" I hum in response, grinning at him.
"How ya feeling over there?" he asks, raising his brows. "You look half here half not."
I sigh. "Honestly?"
He gives me a look.
"I feel like shit," I tell him, pouting.
He chuckles, walking over and crouching down next to me. "You feel okay to be here or you wanna go back to the hotel? I can have someone take you."
I shake my head, grabbing his hand. "No, no. I wanna be with you."
He grins, kissing the back of my hand. "Okay, well, if it's going to be better for you, you can always just hang out back here instead of going into the crowd with everyone else. There's no problem with that."
I nod. "I probably will. I don't think I can stand out there tonight, honestly. No matter how much I want to."
"Do you?" he asks, teasing me. "Do you want to?"
I roll my eyes. "Yes, Joseph."
Silence, making me look up at him giving me the evil stare.
"Stop being a pain in the ass and maybe, just maybe, I'll stop calling you Joseph."
"Stop." He says.
"Joseph."
"Babe," he warns, walking away.
"Joseph," I copy his tone, a smile playing on my lips.
He gives me another look before turning and walking away.
"Joseph," I whisper this time.
"Addison." He says, looking at me.
"Who's that?" I ask.
He narrows his eyes at me.
"Who's Addison?" I ask again.
"You are ridiculous," he says, shaking his head.
"That's not my name."
"What's your name?"
"There's a few. Babe, baby, Mrs. Jonas, take your pick..."
He grins, peeking over at me.
"Muffin," I call him for not answering me.
"Muffin?" he asks, raising his eyebrows.
"Yep," I nod. "You're a cute little muffin."
His brows raise further, a laugh escaping as he walks over, kissing me. "You're adorable."
There's a moment of comfortable silence as he continues his preshow ritual, only keeping it calmer to keep me situated.
"I can't believe we have to wait a month before we can get this blood test done," he sighs. "Then another however long for the results."
I laugh lightly, nodding, but not making eye contact. "I know."
"How are you feeling today?" he asks. "About being a..."
One of the team members walk in to talk with him for a moment, leaving him to stop talking immediately.
"A bit better," I lie.
He narrows his eyes at me after the member leaves. "Tell the truth."
"I am," I lie again.
He raises his brows now. "Really?"
I stare at him for a moment. "No."
He sighs. "Baby, you're not going to fuck it up."
"Yes I will," I argue, turning over on the couch so my back is to him.
"No," he says, walking over and leaning over me so I can see him. "You're going to be amazing, and I have no doubt in my mind about you and your new role."
I huff out a breath, take my phone out and start to scroll.
He sighs, pushing the phone back down and making me look at him. "I'm serious."
"I know," I nod. "I just don't agree."
He licks his lips, nodding and kissing me quickly before walking away to finish getting ready, not wanting to push it further and start an argument.
As much as I would love to believe Joe, I can't help but truly believe I'm not meant to be a mom. Obviously, it's happening, but I doubt I'll be as involved as Joe knowing my thoughts on the subject.
Soon, Joe kisses me yet again, exiting the dressing room to go onto the stage, letting me live my decision to stay on the couch instead. I know everyone's going to wonder why I am yet again not feeling well, but honestly, this amount of nausea shouldn't be allowed in one person and I'm highly unsure of what would happen if I were out there. So, better safe than sorry, regardless of the worry it may cause.
As he's called to the stage, he quickly kisses me before running from the dressing room, allowing me to curl up into a ball and quickly doze off.
The hustle and bustle of backstage wakes me, and more footsteps than before means the show must've ended, making me sit up and stretch before chugging down a bottle of water, my mouth drier than what feels like ever before. I let out a sigh, sitting back down on the couch as Joe rushes inside, closes the door, and walks towards me.
"Hi," I tell him, taken off guard.
He walks past me and turns on some music before turning back around, so we're face to face. "We might have a problem."
I raise my eyebrows, now realizing the music is to drown out our conversation. "What type of problem?"
"The kind where I just overheard Nick, Kevin, Pri, and Dani talking and trying to figure out what could be wrong with you since you haven't been feeling well a lot lately," he explains.
"Shit."
It's the only word that comes to mind, everything else going blank at the exact moment we need to come up with a plan.
***
guess who got their replacement key for their keyboard sooner than expecteddddd :D
i am writing like crazy so look forward to some new chapters!
Quick question... who would be interested in a 4th book? I have ideas but I don't want to write it if you guys think I'm dragging the story along or you don't want it.
Comment and let me know <3
all my love,
shan:)