NOTE: I am not dead. Love ya<3 I will post the Christmas special in my one shot book, I am sorry I wasn't able to deliver on time. ;^;
---
Ghost eyed the bracelet hanging from my wrist as I kept gesticulating with my hands. I could feel his eyes trying to make the bracelet snap under the pressure he was creating.
But why?
I thought both of them were getting along already.
After the conversation moved to another person I felt a hand wrapping around my waist, gently tugging me along a different direction.
"Come with me."
The rough whisper tickled the skin on my neck, making my hairs stand up and soft goosebumps spread on my body.
"I also have something for you..."
His voice was rough, he sounded unsure on how to start with this.
He pulled out a box, a lot bigger then the one König handed me, this one was without a ribbon. I opened it to see a silver knife, the green handle had a snake carved into it, it's tail wrapped around all the way from top to bottom. The blade was untouched, not used even once, sharp enough to cut the skin with a smallest of grazes.
"As soon as I saw it I thought of you."
I looked at the knife sad. How could I be so selfish and not even think about getting them something?
"Do you not like it?"
I shook my head as my eyes watered.
"I love it..."
Ghost froze, not knowing how to react to my sudden show of emotions. He reached out his hand, placing it onto the sides of my face and rubbing his thumbs along the falling tears.
"Then why are you crying?"
"Because I didn't get you guys anything..."
I started crying harder and Ghost couldn't get the confusion and hurt off of his face. He has never seen me this emotional before.
Mad?
Sure.
But crying over a gift? That's a new one, even for me.
"Don't cry... Y/N... don't cry please..."
He tried his best to keep his voice a soothing tone.
"I'm not mad nor sad because of it, so don't be either."
"But... you both got me something... and I didn't even think of a single gift."
"You being here is enough. We didn't get you those because we wanted something in return."
As cliche and cheesy it sounded it was the truth, the gifts were to see you happy. Not for any other gain. However...
"But if you really feel bad about it..."
Ghost gripped my waist and leaned closer, his hot breath hitting my neck.
"Then there is something I wished Santa would bring me..."
"What is it...?"
I started to calm down, a shiver running down my spine as milion of different thoughts entered my head.
"Do you think Santa could grant me my selfish wish?"
His soothing tone and the caresses to my hair relaxed me further making me lean into his touch.
"That depends... I think only good people get their wishes granted..."
For once I played along.
"Oh I have been... a very, very... good boy."
His voice only getting rougher and huskier, I had a vogue idea of what he was going to ask for and I wasn't going to complain.
"Me too, Meine Schatz."
My body shivered as König's voice entered my ear so suddenly. I had no idea when he came over and whether he was watching us all along, but I couldn't have cared any less. I knew where this was going, I could hear the small smiles in their voices.
"We have been good boys, Hase..."
There was something in the way König spoke that made me want to play along.
"You promised me a collar, remember?"
They were close now, awfully close. Ghost grabbed my hand, in a firm hold, leading me to his room.
This was going to be the best Christmas I had ever had.
---
The snow kept falling down from the sky, not stopping since the winter season has started in full bloom. The time I spent at the 141 base seemed much shorter then I had expected, the days got shorter but the moments I shared with the team made me feel like I had spent months by their side.
Christmas rolled around quickly. I was surprised that I had received a permit allowing me to go home. Of course I could still be called to duty at any given moment but it was something I didn't even apply for. That's why it was so weird.
I wasn't planing on wasting the occasion. Although I didn't have a place that I could call home, I did have a house in a city that I grew up in. A place I went to when I had no where else to go.
Everyone from 141 had already left to their families, the only people left was me and Ghost. We stood under the small roof outside the airport as Simon demanded to see me off before he left himself.
"You know, if you also have no where to go, you could come with me."
"I have places to be."
"Mhm... mysterious. Text me if you ever change your mind."
For some reason I knew Ghost wouldn't agree. There was an aura around him of sorts, one that said he had to go back for a reason he would never disclose. He didn't seem to like the Christmas time. However I couldn't blame him, I myself had no one to go back to after all.
Not like my mother would ever want to see me. Not like I wanted to see her either.
The man was acting a bit awkward, I guessed that he wasn't used to with saying goodbyes. I didn't like it either, in our line of work you never knew which one would be your last. The fact that I would be all alone didn't help.
I did want to visit König, but he had already left to Austria. So I had no way of contacting him.
I didn't understand why I still didn't have his phone number.
That needed to get fixed.
"Hey, Simon."
He looked back at me with more focus then before, one of his eyebrows raised up.
"Do you still have König's phone number?"
He chuckled and put his hands in the pockets.
"What? Did the big bear not give his little bunny a way to contact them?"
He just loved teasing me, but I wouldn't miss an opportunity on putting him in his place.
"What was that about being my devoted follower?"
I smiled as I heard him groan in embarrassment.
"I lost a lot of blood..."
"So you didn't mean it."
He crossed his arms and looked away.
"Don't push it. Viper."
"Or what? You gonna Ghost me?"
"You want that phone number or not?"
I handed him my phone with a smile. I was surprised when he typed it in without checking.
He memorised König's phone number?
He handed the phone back to me and I quickly changed the name of the contact to: "Austrian bbg"
I snickered to myself as I went to change Ghost's name as well.
But as I looked for his number I noticed he had changed it while he had my phone.
"Simon"
He changed it from Ghost to Simon.
This put a small smile on my face.
"I will see you on the New Years?"
---
I picked up my bag as I was leaving the plane. Never in my life did I think I would find myself back in my own country as a citizen and not a war criminal.
I took a deep breath as I took my firsts step on the ground I once swore to protect. The air was cold, a cloud formed from the warmth I breathed out. There was barely any snow around, the winter time here was more sad and blunt then in my early childhood.
The airport was full of people, just as I remembered, they walked from one gate to another, continuously checking the terminal. Making sure they are in the right place at the right time.
I laughed to myself. The right place and the right time... Just what exactly was it supposed to mean to me? For them it was a long awaited vacation, sharing their time with family they haven't seen in so long. Leaving the place they called home and it made me wonder.
Can I still call this place my home?
I threw those depressing thoughts aside. Now I just needed to catch a Taxi.
---
I have missed the comfort of my home but... it quickly all became so empty. Not in the Ghost and Königs room kind of empty.
The. I would rather not be here, kind of empty. The one that made me paranoid about being all alone. The one that made me believe there was someone constantly watching me.
No matter where I went nothing got rid of the feeling.
I couldn't tell what exactly has caused it, but I knew it must have been work related. After all I had nothing else other then work in my life.
I breathed out a sigh as I sat down on the couch, the old fabric allowed me to sunk into it like a sponge. The whole house was covered in dust, no person had lived here for months.
That meant that the first thing I needed to do was clean this place. Maybe some movement would do me good after all...
---
It has been a few days ever since I came back and the paranoia was beginning to be too much. I think the situation with Micheal was the cause. I couldn't think of anything else. However I knew that I was safe.
Ghost told me he has taken care of them. Whatever that was supposed to mean, I knew I wouldn't be harmed.
But that still didn't help.
I texted him a couple times asking what has actually happened to the people that attacked me that day, I was not just curious. I needed reassurance. However the longer Ghost didn't respond to me, the more I pushed myself into the arms of fear.
I didn't want to be alone anymore.
I was getting scared of everything, jumping at every single sound.
I thought I was going to faint when I suddenly heard a door bell, I haven't been that scared to open the door for someone in a very long time.
After that incident I got a bunch of cameras and a security system. This made me feel a bit more safer. I also started to talk with König more often. At first it was just a few messages, telling him I miss him. But our short talks turned into long night time text and calls. König made sure to check up on me at least once a day, I think he could feel how stressed out I am.
Ghost talked with me as well when he could but I didn't want to worry both of them, so I kept those feelings to myself.
I would be back on base in no time. Just a week and a few days more. That's all the time I needed to survive.
---
We sat at the dinner table.
The silence was deafening. It has been too long since I last seen her. The nightmares and guilt of that day still weighing on my heart, I knew she resented me. Blamed me for what happened. I still remember the anger and shock she had on her face when she found out I was still alive.
Even if it really wasn't my fault.
"Cieszę się że sobie radzisz." - ("I'm happy that you are doing well.")
I swallowed the saliva gathering in my mouth, a gulp residing from my throat no matter how quiet i tried to be.
"Też dobrze cię widzieć... Matko." - ("It's good to see you too... Mother.")
She swallowed a sip of the tea and smiled at me. The teacup clicked as she placed it down on the small plate.
"Matko? Oh proszę cię, to brzmi jak obelga Y/N. Wiesz, że nienawidzę gdy mnie tak nazywasz." - ("Mother? Oh please that sounds insulting Y/N. You know I hate it when you call me that.")
I couldn't help but find a different meaning to each of her words. It's not that she wanted me to call her "Mom". She didn't consider me her child at all.
"Już nigdy mnie nie odwiedzasz... Wiesz, że tylko ty mi zostałaś." - ("You never visit me anymore... You know you are the only one I have left.")
"Już nie tak łatwo dostać przepustki. Praca jest tylko coraz cięższa." - ("Work has been busy. It's not as easy to get a pass these days.")
I lied. I haven't applied for a pass since I left. But it's not like I will tell her that. Our contact has never been great, but ever since my brother died it had only gotten worse.
I started to wonder on how did she find out I was back.
---
After my mother had left I tried to focus on something else, but the thought of her visit still plagued my mind. I grabbed my favourite lemon balm tea and made a cup, it helped me with sleep for the past few days so I hoped it would work this time as well.
And indeed it has helped me, I managed to fall asleep in a matter of an hour. The night passed slowly, but I was startled awake.
I heard footsteps.
They jolted me awake. I thought the paranoia has finally made me hallucinate. I could hear someone in the house.
Creeping around.
Walking.
Making their way towards my room.
All the alarms in my head started blaring and screeching. I quickly got out of bed and let myself switch into work mode to not let the panic take over.
I opened my drawer as quietly as I could and grabbed the knife that Ghost has given me, watching the blade shine in the moonlight peaking into my room. I gripped it in my hand in a ready hold.
I walked out of my room quietly, whoever was here knew I was awake anyway. This house has been empty for a long time, if it was a simple robber they wouldn't have came after my Mother visited.
This made me shiver. It was really suspicious and weird.
Or perhaps my paranoia was really getting the best of me.
I kept walking as I reached the passage between rooms and as I looked down the hallway and into the kitchen I saw... my Mother?
"Mom...?" I called out but before she turned around I felt a cloth press to my mouth, a hand grabbed my wrist and turned it painfully making me drop the knife. I could feel them pressing their body against my own to keep me in place.
I was reminded once again that I am weaker then I think. The situation with Michael, all the times I was taken prisoner on missions.
But I knew no one would save me now and I wouldn't go down without a fight. With all the strength in my body I elbowed the person behind me. I could hear a loud grunt, so I continued my struggle.
I could feel some sort of crunch at the impact of my hits. No matter how much pain I have inflicted or how panicked I was, my attacker didn't budge.
I soon slowly slipped into unconsciousness.
My mother who was standing a few meters before me was now nowhere to be seen.
Did I... imagine it?
I didn't get to ask as I passed out.
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