A/n: I should probably stick to third person's POV from now on to get a wider range of what's going on.
CHAPTER TWENTY - Meet the Ramos Family Part Three
Third Person's PoV
Suot ni Shane yung white buttoned-up shirt ni Kieran nung bumalik na sila sa may cottage. He insisted, lalo na't mas maraming kalalakihan sa pamilya nila. Ayaw naman niyang maging sentro ng atensyon kasintahan niyang nakasuot ng bikini't baka may sasabihin silang 'di niya magugustuhan.
Ayos lang naman kay Shane 'yon, pero ipinagtataka niya lang kung bakit 'di magsuot pa rin ng damit si Kieran kapalit nung pinangtakip sa kaniya. Mas agaw atensyon na siya ngayon ng mga napapadaan gawa ng batak nitong hubad na pang-itaas na katawan.
Nagiihaw pa ng sari-saring isda at barbeque mga tiyahin ni Kieran samantalang silang dalawa ay kinakausap naman ni Rudy. Nakikinig lang sa gilid habang nagiihaw sina Kaye at Irene. They keep exchanging looks whenever Shane talks.
"So may balak na nga kayong magpakasal?" Nae-excited na tanong ng matandang lalaki.
Nagkatinginan sina Shane at Kieran.
"Meron nga ba?" Tanong din ni Kieran nang nakataas ang kilay kay Shane na nagda-dalawang isip kung anong pwedeng isagot.
"I'm—well, we're uh...we haven't really talked about it that much." Sagot niya. Sa totoo lang, nasabi niya lang iyon para bitawan ni Sheryl braso ni Kieran. But it came out so naturally as if she also subconsciously wanted it to come true.
"Bakit naman? Gaano na ba kayo katagal?" Nagbukas ng bote ng beer si Rudy at tinungga ito.
Bumulong si Shane, "Should we tell him that we were separated for a decade and only started dating again for six days?"
"Baka maisip nilang gumagawa tayo ng maling desisyon kapag sinabi nating six days pa lang na naging tayo." Nagkadikit mga kilay niya sa sagot ni Kieran.
"Why is that?"
"They'll think it's too soon to get married. Masyadong mabilis ang six days." Sagot ng lalaki.
In-offeran ni Rudy si Shane ng baso ng alak pero si Kieran ang humablot nito nang hindi inaalis ang tingin sa babae. Siya na rin ang sumipsip.
Napangiti lang ang matanda sa kanila.
"Should we tell him that we were together for six months prior to our decade-long separation instead?" Balak sumipsip din ni Shane pero linayo lang ni Kieran yung baso.
"That's a better idea." He nodded, then noticed her staring the drink he's holding. "Bawal."
Shane scoffed out loud, "Bakit naman bawal?"
"Doctor's orders." He smirked. She only glared in return. "Baby, when you get too drunk, you strip."
"Okay, first of all that happened ten years ago." Depensa ni Shane at akmang aagawin sana ulit yung baso ngunit tinungga na ng buo 'yon ni Kieran. "You son of a bitch." She said jokingly.
Kumibit balikat siya't binaling ang atensyon sa tiyuhin niyang inoobersabahan lang sila.
"Matagal na po kami." Ngiting saad niya't pinatong ang kamay sa hita ni Shane. "Nagkabalikan lang kami last week actually. Pero matagal na kami."
Nakuha niya ang atensyon ni Irene at lumapit sa kanilang dala pa rin yung pamaypay.
"Nagkabalikan? Bakit, anong nangyari noong naghiwalay kayo?" Kuryosong tanong nito.
Shane looked at Kieran before answering, "I was married po to someone else for ten years."
Nabitawan ni Kaye yung hawak niyang pang-brush ng bbq sauce. Si Irene naman ay bagsak ang pangang lumingon kay Kieran. Hindi sila makapaniwalang jinowa ng pamangkin nila ang dating kinasal na babae.
Kay Kieran lang nakatingin naman si Rudy. Inaaral niya ang bawat galaw ng lalaki at kung paano niya itrato't irespeto si Shane.
"Kinasal ka sa iba?! E' 'di hindi ka na birheng ihaharap sa altar ni Kieran?" Kaye's question took Shane in surprise.
"That's how it typically is for a second marriage...yes." Shane said in confusion. Hindi niya maintindihan kung bakit parang sobra naman silang horrified na may ibang nakakuha sa kanya maliban kay Kieran.
Paano pa kaya magiging reaction nila 'pag nalaman nila ang kanyang nakaraan?
"Wala naman akong pakialam doon basta madala ko po siya sa altar." Singit naman ni Kieran para idepensa si Shane. Tumingin siya sa kanya't matamis na ngumiti, "Noon ko pa siyang gustong dalhin doon."
Kinailangan pang umiwas ng tingin si Shane para itago ang kilig. Kaya lang 'di pa rin kayang lunukin iyon ng mga kamaganak ng lalaki.
"Kailan ka nakipaghiwalay sa asawa mo dati?" May halong panghuhusga na ang tono ni Kaye.
"Two months ago. Kieran and I got back together last week." And it was an unforgettable reunion for the both of them. Shane's hip joints still hurt until now. Its lasting reminder of the continuous nights they spent moaning each other's names out loud—screaming even. "Baka isipin niyong kabit ko si Kieran. Hindi po siya ang dahilan ng hiwalayan namin."
Nagkatinginan yung magkakapatid at alanganing tumawa. Hindi nila kayang tanggapin iyon ng basta-basta lamang.
"Anong dahilan?" Pangingialam na ni Irene saka ipinagkrus na ang mga braso.
"That's private information." Shane faked a smile to show respect in hopes they'd return it. They didn't.
"Bakit ayaw mong sabihin? Kabit mo nga talaga si Kieran? Alam niyong makasalanan mga pinaggagagawa niyo? Una, may nabuntisang iba itong si Kieran. Ngayon papakasalan niya yung babaeng ginawa siyang kabit. Ayos lang ba kayo?" Sabi ni Kaye na umiiling-iling.
Unti-unting kumuyom mga kamao ni Shane pero nanatili pa rin yung ngiti niya sa kanila. Si Kieran naman ay nakakaramdam na rin ng inis.
"Tita Kaye, alamin mo muna yung buong istorya bago ka manghusga—"
"E' pa'no ko nga malalaman 'di ba kung ayaw niyo namang sabihin?"
"E' 'di malamang you keep your mouth shut na lang po lalo kung wala ka namang kaalam-alam sa nangyari." Sagot ni Shane. "Respectfully speaking."
Marahang natawa si Kaye at tinuro siya. Shane, of course, didn't like being pointed at. Her resting bitch face made itself known and it does not tolerate disrespect.
"Kieran, sabihan mo itong jowa mo na 'wag sabat ng sabat ha. Ganyan ka ba talaga kayong mga mayayaman? Wala kayong respeto?" Tumataas na ang boses ni Kaye dahilan ng pagtayo ni Rudy para pumagitna sa kanila.
"Parang awa mo na, Tita. Tumahimik ka muna." Nanggagalaiting sabi ni Kieran at inabot ang nakakuyom na kamao ni Shane. Pinilit niyang ipag-lace mga daliri nila para pakalmahin ang babae. Alam niyang palaban ang kanyang kasintanan.
"Etong jowa mo kasi bastos. Nakakawalang modong kausap. Papakasalan mo 'yan? Baka peperahan ka lang niyan kasi doktor ka na. 'Yan siguro dahilan kung bakit siya hiniwalayan." Tuloy-tuloy pa rin sa pananalita si Kaye nung bumalik na siya sa grill.
Parehong nanlumo sa sobrang galit ang dalawa. Mahigpit ang hawak nila sa isa't isa saka nagkakatinginan.
"Kaye, naman. Sumosobra ka na." Singit ni Rudy na napapakamot na lang ng ulo. "E' baka naman may magandang rason paghihiwalay nila. Wala namang anak si Shane sa una niyang asawa kayo ayos lang 'yon. Basta masaya na silang pareho. Kita mo namang masaya si Kieran sa kanya oh."
Lumambot ang puso ni Shane sa sinabi ni Rudy. Hindi halata sa kanyang tatay siya ni Roland gawa sa pagiging gentleman nito. Fuck boy ba naman yung anak.
"Baka 'yan nga rin rason e'. 'Di nabigyan ng anak tas nangabit pa. Talagang hihiwalayan 'yan." Napatiim bagang si Shane sa kumento ni Kaye. "Useless ang babae sa relasyon kung 'di niya bibigyan ng anak asawa niya. Nagawa pa ngang mangabit."
'Di na napigilan ni Shane inis niya.
"How fucking—"
"Sinasabi ko sa iyo, Tita, kapag 'di ka pa tumigil sa pagbira kay Shane, ako makakalaban mo." Napalingon ang babae kay Kieran nang siya'y magsalita. Bumaba ang boses nito't nanginginig ang kamay sa pagpipigil ng galit. "Wala akong pakialam kung kadugo kita pero kung wala kang respeto sa akin at sa mapapangasawa ko, wala rin kaming respeto sa iyo." May pagbabanta sa boses niya.
Kilala ng lahat kung gaano kahaba ang pasensya ni Kieran at madalang lang siyang magalit. Maski si Shane na ubod ng kamalditahan natahimik nang magsalita siyang nagbabanta ang tono. She found it hot, but now is not the right time to get turned on.
Napatahimik na lang din si Kaye at ipinagpatuloy na lang ang pagiihaw. Nagbubulungan na sila ni Irene, tinatawag na malandi si Shane, pero hindi na lang sila binigyan pansin ng dalawa.
"Pasensya na sa kapatid ko, Shane." Nahihiyang sambit ni Rudy. "Basura talaga ugali niyan."
Hindi umimik si Kaye.
"Okay lang po." Sagot ni Shane saka tumingin kay Kieran. "Are you okay?" She asked out of concern.
Lumambot ang mukha naman ng lalaki, "Baby, ikaw yung iniinsulto pero ako kinakamusta mo?"
Shane only shrugged.
"I'm used to it by now." When she smiled, it didn't reach her eyes.
After the media broadcasted her divorce with Vincent, some people who disturbingly follows their private lives by consuming their content speculate that one of them must have cheated. Most people pointed their fingers at Shane because of how she never bore him children.
It's always the woman. Whatever the reasons are, the blame will always fall on the woman.
What the media doesn't know will be kept behind closed doors. It's easier for Shane to live as this villain society made her to be than to prove them wrong. None of them will believe her story anyway because she's a woman.
Kieran never got to know the whole story. He never knew why Shane had to leave him before nor why she didn't want to give the Maclain's heirs. He just went with it and stuck close to his blind faith in her.
"You shouldn't be used to it, Shane. It's unfair for you to get used to being victimized like this." Hinawakan niya kamay ng babae at hinalikan ito. "You can always open up to me whenever you're ready. Okay?"
Shane appreciated his sentiment for not forcing her to tell him what happened over these past years. She kissed the top of his hand too.
"Okay." She mouthed.
Matatalim mga mata ni Kaye habang sila'y pinapanood pero hindi na lang siya nagsalita pa. Lalo na't masama rin ang tingin sa kanya ni Rudy.
"Kakain na maya't maya. Simulan niyo ng tawagin mga pinsan mo, Kieran. Pakitawag na rin si Fatima para tumulong sa paghanda." Utos ni Irene. Naghihiwa siya ng sibuyas para sa sawsawan nila. "Tawagin niyo na rin yung mga bata. Andon silang lahat sa hotel naglalaro kasama si Dylan."
Shane pursed her lips from hearing that. Finally, after all these exhausting years, she gets to talk to Dylan again.
"Ako na magtatawag sa kanila." Sabi ni Kieran at humalik sa pisngi nung babae. "I'll be right back. Wait for me at the beach. Magtampisaw ka roon."
"What's tampisaw?" Takang tanong ni Shane. Sa tagal niyang tumira sa iba't ibang bansa, hanggang ngayon limitado pa rin ang Tagalog vocabulary niya. Mahaba naman ang pasensya ni Kieran sa pagtuturo sa kanya nung lenggwahe.
"Basically it means playing with water." Inalalayan niyang tumayo si Shane. "Or you can just dip your toes there." Dinala niya siya sa may dalampasigan.
Tumatama sa may paanan ni Shane yung malakas na alon. Wala masyadong lumot, bato, at shells sa pinagdalhan sa kanyang parte ng beach kaya nama'y naisipan niyang ibabad yung kalahating katawan niya sa tubig.
She looked up to Kieran who's still towering over her, intentionally blocking the sun from her face.
"I'm starting to understand why you rarely visit Pangasinan." Aniya ni Shane, scrunching her nose. "I guess she was the first bitch you had to deal with in your life."
Marahang tumawa si Kieran.
"I'm so sorry you had to hear that." Tipid niyang nginitian si Shane. "Siya lang yung may basurang ugali. The rest are okay."
"Okay."
"Try not to get into trouble until tomorrow."
"No guarantees. If that bitch comes at me again, I will slap her." Shane meant every word she told him. He knows that, of course.
"Tas ako kunwaring walang nakita para walang kinakampihan." Pinukulan si Kieran ng matatalim na titig. "But that solely depends on the circumstances of the situation."
"Good answer. You should go. I'll be fine here don't worry." Shane assured him with a smile. Hindi kumportable si Kieran na iwanan dito mag-isa si Shane ngunit ayaw niya rin namang isama siya sa pagtawag sa mga pinsan niya. "Go. It's fine. I like getting wet anyway."
Tumawa silang pareho't tumango si Kieran. Naglakad na siya pabalik sa hotel. Si Shane naman ay bumubuntong hiningang pinapanood yung alon na papasalubong sa kanya.
Useless ang babae sa relasyon kung 'di niya bibigyan ng anak asawa niya.
The words Kaye said kept repeating in her head. Napaisip tuloy siya kung iyon na lang ba talaga ang halaga niya sa mundo. Na kailangan niyang magbigay ng anak sa kung sino man mapapangasawa niya para hindi useless.
Bullshit.
Alam niya sa sarili niyang may iba pang rason kung bakit nananatili siyang nabubuhay sa mundo. Hindi siya pinanganak para manganak. 'Yan ang nakatatak sa isip niya simula noon at dinala niya 'yon habang siya'y kasal kay Vincent.
Kahit na literal siyang binili ni Fred Maclain mula sa tatay niya para bigyan ng pamilya si Vincent—she knows her worth as a person. She is a living and a breathing person who deserves to live her life the way she want it to.
Hinaplos niya yung scar sa wrist niya. The forced marriage broke her. It almost killed her.
On the day she was brought to the emergency room for her bleeding wrist, she reminisced the days she was truly happy.
It was in Kieran's old house. Kieran was at the kitchen cooking dinner while she and Dylan were reading a book together. And when he was done, he sat next to her. One arm on her shoulder while the other cradled his beloved daughter.
Everytime she thinks of ending everything, she thought about the day she would get to see the kid again. How confused the child must have been for disappearing from her life without a word. And how her father was broken hearted all these years yearning for her return.
What would I even say to her?, Shane thought while fiddling with her fingers.
Humampas na naman ang alon sa kanya. Hindi pa rin siya umaalis sa kanyang pwesto. Iniisip niya pa rin kung paano niya ipapaliwanag kay Dylan yung nangyari nang hindi sinasabi yung buong kwento.
Bumuntong hininga si Shane.
Maybe it's best to just leave things as they were and see how things go from there.
"Auntie Shane?"
Lumingon agad si Shane sa pinanggalingan nung boses at nanlawak mga mata. Si Dylan. Nakatayo siya sa may dalampasigan kung saan hindi na umaabot yung tubig.
"You remember my name?" Manghang sabi ni Shane at tumango yung bata.
"I always see you in my dreams, you know? But I don't know why I don't remember your face." Nahihiyang lumapit si Dylan at nakiupo rin. Hinayaan niya ring sakupin ng alon kalahati ng katawan niya't sinamahang magbabad si Shane.
May distansya pa rin sa gitna nila. Naiilang pa rin kasi si Dylan sa presensya ni Shane. Kumbaga hindi siya sanay na nakakausap niya na yung taong napapaniginipan niya lagi. Mas naaalala niya yung boses at kung paano magsalita si Shane.
"Was I a badass in your dream?" Shane smirked.
"Yes," Dylan replied, laughing heartily. "I can only remember how you stood up for me against Jocelyn. Then I remember you dressing me up."
Shane noted how Dylan only calls her biological mother by her name. That means Kieran must have told her who her mother was and why she was not allowed to see her.
It gave Shane comfort for knowing Dylan didn't go through Jocelyn's wrath while she was away.
"I heard you like design." She initiated a conversation with her. "Fashion or interior design?"
"Both."
"Mm. Of course." Shane nodded approvingly. "Is that why you got into modelling for kids' magazines?"
Yumuko si Dylan, "I began liking fashion because of you. And I thought if I'm on the front covers...you'd see me." Bahagya siyang lumingon kay Shane at mapait na ngumiti. "And maybe you'd remember to come back."
Shane's heart dropped. Hindi niya lubos na inasahang iyon pala ang totoong rason kung bakit sumabak agad sa fashion industry yung bata.
"You inspired me so much. Even without you being physically here, I've always looked up to you." Dylan continued. Her voice becomes tinier and tinier as she opens up more. Shane felt a pang on her chest.
"Dylan..." she trailed off, pressing her red lips into a thin line, "I'm not a good role model for you."
Inaamin ni Shane na marami siyang kabalastugang ginawa simula noong high school siya. She smoked. She partied every night. She slept with so many men. She kept getting into trouble. She kept rebelling. Anastasia Shane was the baddest bitch in the city, and she was known for it.
Right now, she's just trying to piece her life bacm together.
"I actually go to Valerian, Auntie. They told me everything about you." Sabi ni Dylan dahilan ng pagputla ni Shane.
This is not the reunion I imagined. I didn't think that the little girl I cared for would learn about my shameful past.
"It was bad, right?" Dinaan na lang sa tawa ni Shane yung kaba niya.
Dylan smiled when she winked.
"It was actually pretty badass." She said, impressed. "Akalain mo, Auntie? You stood your ground and defended a lot of people from bullying! And despite the bad image and the bad names they call you, you proved them wrong by staying true to yourself. And their accusations was eventually proven wrong but you didn't let that get to your head. And I heard about your impressive academic record! How can I not be enthralled by that?" Sabi ni Dylan nang may malawak na ngiti. "That itself made me choose you as my rolemodel."
Hindi namalayan ni Shane na tumulo na pala luha niya. When everyone made her the villain, she didn't think that a little girl would see her as their hero. Tinignan niya muli yung scar sa pulsuhan niya at marahang natawa.
"I missed you." Naluluhang sabi ni Shane at umusog papalapit kay Dylan. "I missed you so much, kiddo."
Dylan was the first to hug her waist.
"I missed you too, Auntie. You didn't even say goodbye to me." Malungkot niyang sambit.
Mapait na ngumiti si Shane at hinalikan ang noo nito.
"I'll tell you everything someday. I promise." And she meant it with all her heart. Tinaas niya ang kanyang hinliliit. "And I promise you...I will never ever leave you again. Okay?"
Tinitigan ni Dylan iyon ng tatlong segundo bago niya kinawit doon yung daliri niya.
"Okay."
Tumawa silang pareho bago niyakap ang isa't isa ng mahigpit. After all these years, they saved each other's life. Shane thanked the heavens several times for giving her strength to hold on eight years ago. She wouldn't be hugging Dylan right now if she ended everything right then and there.
With a kiss on top of Dylan's sandy hair, Shane laughed to herself—completely forgetting the hurtful words Kaye told her earlier. Those words never hurt her anymore as long as someone, or two people, see her in a different light.
And standing a few feet away from the ladies hugging each other tightly was Kieran. He stood with a proud smile and sighed in relief.
"That's my whole life right there," he whispered to himself before he joined them.