Everyone falls in love sometime
Sometimes it's wrong
And sometimes it's right
For every win
Someone must fail
But there comes a point when
When we exhale (yeah, yeah, say)
-Whitney Houston
°Camila°
I woke up to a strong smell, so strong it burned my nose.
I fluttered my eyes, trying to let my eyes adjust to the bright sunlight that beamed through.
"Good morning." A unknown said to me.
I looked around, I was disoriented.
"How are you feeling? Can you answer a few questions for me?" She asked.
I nodded the best I could.
"Does anything hurt? Like your head or anyplace on your body?
I nodded, my head felt like someone was drilling holes it in while my face felt like a busted open hot dog weiner that was left in the microwave to long.
She wrote something down and looked back up to me.
"On a scale of one to ten I want you to tell me how bad your pain is by wiggling your toes. One being the lowest and ten the highest of course.
She started to count....
I wiggled my left toes when she got to ten.
"OK can you see how many fingers I'm holding up? She put her clipboard on the edge of the bed and held up three fingers, then one, then four, all ten next.
"Alright good job, can you tell me your name?" She asked after I correctly told her the number of fingers.
I tried to speak again, but my mouth was insanely dry for some odd reason. I used every muscle in my body to lift my hand and point to the bottle waters near by.
She looked behind her and got up to get it, putting some ice into a cup and pouring in the water she came back over and put it to my lips, the coldness burned against my them. I chewed the ice slowly, once fully crushed I swallowed and let it glide down my throat.
"Alright how's that?" She asked sitting the cup down.
"Better." I said finally.
She smiled. "Alright now can you tell me your name?"
"Camila Smith." I said.
"Great! You're a trooper girly."
"Why am I here?" I asked her while looking around.
"You probably don't remember much, but you were in a pretty bad wreck. We thought you were a D.O.A., but amazingly you pulled through."
I was shocked by what she was saying. "Well.....am I ok? Like will I be normal again?" I questioned afraid of the answer.
"So far I believe so, you came out better than what we expected." She said.
"I don't understand, I was saw myself laying in my casket........ getting married...." I trailed off.
She burst out laughing, "Girl the power of today's medicine child." She shook her head and finished taking my blood pressure.
Whatever that medicine was I sure didn't want it again.
"I'll be back with something for that pain." She said.
-
There was two soft taps at the door, I took my eyes off the TV and fixed them on the door. In came Lani, she slightly smiled and slowly walked over to me.
I could tell she was scared, "I know I look hideous but don't make it obvious." I joked.
She hugged me the best she could. I felt hot tears bleed through my thin hospital gown. I caressed her back with one hand and wiped my eyes with the other.
"I love you." She said to me
I told her I loved her too.
She moved a chair beside my bed. I looked over at her.
"Lani I look a mess, I already have big lips but now I look like I did the Kylie Jenner challenge." I said
She laughed. "It'll go down, along with everything else, but in the meantime I can at least give you a fleeky ponytail."
In side eyed her.
"Go ahead."
Later my daddy and Jamie came through.
"Hey beautiful." Jamie said to me as she found somewhere to place my balloons and flowers.
"Hey baby girl, I'm so proud of you."
He hugged me and I thought of the dream, when I tried to touch him but everything faded. I broke down in his arms."I'm so sorry." I whispered.
He shushed me, "Don't you ever be sorry for something you didn't do, you hear me?" He looked at me and I nodded.
"Your cousin Oriel is driving your grandma down here. They should be here a little later tonight or early morning." He said.
We talked for a little and enjoyed each others company. The nurse came in and gave me some more medicine. I asked for something a whole lot less powerful than the first, but it still managed to knock me out.
-
I tried to turn on my side forgetting where I was and about my injuries, but I was quickly reminded when a sharp pain shot up my side. I yelped in pain as I readjusted myself, these ribs were going to be the death of me.
"You gotta take it easy."
I turned my head to the couch that was against the window and saw a long August. He made the couch look so tiny and made for dolls only.
I quickly looked away and turned on the TV.
He breathed in and out slowly. I could feel him staring at me.
"I know you told the nurses at the front desk not to let me into your room." He finally said.
"I know I did, so why are you here?" I sat looking at the TV.
"Because I care about you and the fact that I almost lost you got me bugging."
"Well I'm alive so you can go now." I said harshly.
"Look at me please." He begged.
I couldn't, I couldn't look him into his face and definitely not his eyes.
I heard his bones pop as he stood to his feet. I was expecting him to leave but he didn't stop there, he sat on the foot of the bed and looked at me.
"Camila please." He said.
"Please what?"
"I ain' come hea' fa' that. Life to short for all this fighting and fussing." He said.
"It wasn't to short when you put your hands on me." I shot at him.
He swallowed hard. "I did a lot of shit that I ain' proud ta' say I've done and that right thea' is one of em. I'm truly sorry and its no excuse fa' that." He apologized sincerely.
I sat silently, "Camila?"
"August what are you still around for? What we had is dead and gone, there's no need for apologizing." I said over this conversation.
"Camila I love you man....." He blurted out.
It was the same sad story with him....
"I'm sure you do." I said said un-bothered as I cut him off.
He laughed a little.
"I ain' slept since I got that phone call. I ain' checked on Deja ta' make sure she straight, only thing I can do is think about you. I found peace for once just ta' watch you sleep tonight."
I sat and thought back to the dream. I still didn't understand the meaning of it.
"All I wanted to do was tell you about Sean, I looked for you. All over. I felt like I couldn't breathe due to me panicking. Then when you came in, I ran into your arms.....one place I've always felt safe. And to be rejected like that killed me inside. You called me so many names...."
"I'm sorry babeh. I should of handled that different but I was so caught up in my emotions. I told you I didn't want you and convinced myself that I didn't, but when I saw yal' leave the bathroom together everything went blank. You know I ain' mean that."
"I'm not your baby." I corrected him.
"I wanna make us work again."
I shook my head.
"But I don't. It's time for us to move on. I'm tired of being a fool for you, you were right, this was for the better. I don't want to be friends either."
"Don't do this ta' me. You can't even look me in my eyes!"
He reaches to touch my hand, but I move it.
I don't want to feel his touch anymore.
The same touch that use to soothe me now tenses my body up instead.
"I really hate you, you know that?" I asked.
"You don't mean that." He said.
But I really do.
"I do, everything about you." I tell him.
My words are powerful and they cut him deep.
His once flawless skin is now ruined with lines.
"I love you too. Always have and always will. I told you ta' never forget that." He got up.
"Thanks for everything, jerk."
He nods, walks out.
Whatever we had before is done, finished, over and final.
Now the curtains close....
I slowly sit up and pick up the flowers he's brought me, he knows their my favorite. I want to rip them up into little pieces like he's done my heart so many times before.
I just stare at them.....
*Ready to see bae and this Hip Hop video tonight!