"My nose is fine Zain. I've been putting the stuff on it like you told me," I told him into the phone.
It was a Sunday night and I hadn't really heard from him since I left his house. I'm not really sure what I expected to happen once we came back from Europe. Not this, apparently.
He gave a short breath like he was about to laugh and then decided not to, "That isn't what I rang you up about."
I scrunched my eyebrows together and curled up further into my pillows, "Then what?"
"I would've come to your house but I don't know where your castle is. Though since it's so big, it probably wouldn't be that hard to find," he teased.
I stopped myself from smiling, "So you admit I'm a princess since I'm living in a castle?"
"Hardly," he quipped.
"Your contact name says otherwise," I bit my lip, referring to my contact name: Princess Yue.
"Shut up Luna," he laughed slightly.
I shook my head and went to take my record off of the phonograph, "What are you calling about jackass?"
"Meet me at my house," he told me cryptically.
I raised a brow, "Why?"
He sighed, "Just do it."
I contemplated how easy it would be for him to kill me before I just decided to give in, "Fine. I'll be there in ten."
Padding over to my closet, I quickly changed out of my nightgown and slipped on a striped t-shirt dress and my boots. My hair had long dried since my shower so I just left it be. And honestly I didn't even know why I was worried about my hair or how I looked at all. It didn't matter if it was Zain or Matty Healy, I didn't have to impress anyone. I grabbed my purse and headed quietly out of the door so that my mother wouldn't hear me and ask questions. It was almost ten on a school night so I hoped whatever he wanted to show me or whatever wouldn't take very long. I hated getting up for school as it was and it would be especially hard to adjust after such a long break. Ciara purred to life and I listened to my nighttime playlist on low as I made the drive to Zain's house. It was getting more familiar the third time around and I rolled my eyes.
Never would I have thought that I would practically memorize the way to that demon's house. Stupid evil demon. That's what he was. Messing with my emotions and practically taking over my life without me noticing. Honestly who did he think he was? Piercing my nose to make me feel better (though I really loved it) and then that lame ass good-bye. I shouldn't give him the time of day. But I was far too attached to be thinking that now. I figured it was close to my time of the month so I just let myself rant the rest of the way to his house.
When I pulled up, he was sitting on his driveway, leaned up against the garage and smoking a cigarette. Of course. When did he not have one of those death wishes in his mouth? I ignored the whole attractiveness aspect of the bad habit and got out of the car, trying to wish away the nerves that were inevitably building up inside of me.
He offered me his cigarette like he always did but I was too moody to give in so I just kept my arms crossed and gave him a look. He shrugged and brought it back to his mouth, putting his hands on his knees until he was almost a foot taller than me. I hated that I was that much shorter than him. It made me feel like he had the upper hand. Literally.
"What did you want to show me?" I asked, almost irritably when he didn't say anything or make a move to go anywhere.
He motioned for me to follow him as he straddled his bike. He handed me his red helmet and clipped the buckle underneath my chin gently. I kept my breathing normal with his proximity and tried not to look up at the gaze that I knew was glowing right then. I straddled the bike and reluctantly wrapped my arms around his waist. The engine rumbled below me, a feeling I wasn't quite used to but had felt before. He slowly moved onto the street before he sped up and went in the opposite direction that I had come.
At this new speed, I was practically forced to clutch onto him tighter. I could picture the smirk he probably had on but I quickly blinked away the image. Instead I focused on the bright street lamps and looked at them in wonder. I loved driving or riding in cars at night. The streets and buildings and everything looked so dreamy with nothing but lights and the stars to show you where you're going. Everything seemed alive but in a different way. I couldn't really explain it but I guess some things were just better that way. Especially when the world was still dripping with the Florida rain. The reflection of the lights on the damp streets turned to a concrete river and it always eased my mind. I know I should be terrified of driving and being in cars since what happened but living your entire life in fear wasn't really living, in my opinion.
We drove until the grass became sand and dark, mysterious waves of water. Zain parked in a lot that was usually filled with cars during the day. So my hopes of this being a short trip vanished in the sea air since we drove the hour-long ride it took to get to Englewood beach. We were in Manasota Key, which was where we all went when we wanted to go to the beach. It was also where we met Sienna and Liam. I had always preferred this beach over the others I had been too just because it wasn't as crowded and pretty peaceful. I just couldn't help but wonder what the hell we were doing here. I swear the moment he suggested skinny-dipping I would run all of the way back home.
"Talk your shoes off," he told me once I put his helmet on the seat of his bike.
I gave him a weary look, "Fine, but if my favorite pair of boots get stolen-"
"You'll buy a new pair," he smirked.
I huffed, "Yeah and I'll shove them up your skinny ass one by one."
Zain laughed loudly into the empty night, "Kinky."
I fought my smile and just unlaced my boots, setting them by the back tire of his bike. I watched as Zain did the same. I rolled my eyes yet again at the fact that we basically had the same pair of shoes on. He set his pair right next to mine while he put his leather jacket on the handlebars.
"How am I supposed to be able to tell which pair is mine?" I joked as I started towards the beach.
Without warning I was thrown over Zain's shoulders. He spun me around while telling me how infuriating I was. I laughed. Half because I was being jiggled around in the air. The other half because I was infuriating? He set me down onto the sand, still warm from the day's heat. I let my toes sink into the feeling before I started walking next to him.
"Zain, what are we even doing here?" I asked, looking at how the sand blended in with the color of my skin.
"I don't really know," he admitted.
"You don't know," I repeated in disbelief.
"Just walk in the moonlight on the beach with me, Luna. Stop worrying for once in your life," he told me.
"I wasn't worrying," I argued, "I was just curious."
We kept walking, just letting the silence be filled with the warm breeze that brushed between us. I was getting sort of antsy because I didn't really have any desire to be quiet and serene just then. I didn't know why. I should've with the nighttime ride here and the calm waves lapping up on the shore.
"Is this your attempt at being romantic?" I half joked, "Because dinner would've been just fine for me."
Zain snorted, "No," he said simply.
"Hi, I'm Zain Malik and I enjoy moonlit walks on the beach and writing poetry by candle light. I'm also British and love a good romance novel," I mocked in my horrible attempt at his accent.
He laughed his weird laugh, "I don't even sound like that."
I laughed lightly with him, "But why didn't you take me to the beach during the day? Why wait until ten on a school night?" I asked, digging my feet further into the sand as we walked.
Zain shook his head, "Too many people and I can't swim."
I raised a brow, "You can't swim?"
"No, Luna I can't and I swear if you try to push me into the water you will seriously regret it," he warned.
"I won't, I'm not that mean. Unlike some people," I nudged him.
He nudged me back and smirked but didn't say anything. I didn't understand why I had agreed to come or why I was even here, especially after knowing that this thing between us probably wasn't going anywhere. But just walking with him and sort of talking, was nice. I told myself that I was okay with just keeping him company no matter what we were as I fought myself from reaching for his hand. I hadn't even noticed I was looking at it until Zain caught my gaze. I looked ahead of me then and just focused on the endless white sand.
I flinched slightly when I felt the cool metal of his rings against my fingers but quickly relaxed. I wondered just then if he could read my mind and I hoped with everything I had that he most certainly couldn't. It was all so weird. Me, holding hands on the beach at night with I guy I absolutely hated only a few months ago. Yet, it didn't feel weird. Not at all.
We walked along the beach (pretty far away from the water) for a while in silence, nothing but the crashing of waves to mark how much time had passed. I didn't worry about my hand getting sweaty or if I was holding on too tight. For once in my life, I just didn't worry.
Zain stopped suddenly once we had walked quite a ways and sat down right where he was. I sat down with him and wrapped my arms around my knees.
"I always hated the beach as a kid," Zain spoke, his voice raspy from not talking for a while, "Doniya would always beg mum to take us to National Trust almost every weekend and even little Waliyha enjoyed it. Thank god that beach was almost two hours away so we could only go every once in a while. Anyway, Doniya would always push me into the water and try and get me to swim but I just couldn't."
I looked out at the dark ocean horizon, "I didn't like it much either. The one time that I played out in the sun all day I got completely fried and from then on I just hid under the beach umbrella while my dad went out surfing. My mom would stay with me but she would be tanning all of the time. I didn't understand why I was so pale when my parents were always glowing with their tan," I rambled on. I swallowed the feelings that came up when I mentioned how my childhood was. When my parents were actually parents. Things had changed so much since then.
He laughed a little, "You are kind of pathetically pale."
I knocked his shoulder with mine, "How do you get so tan when you hate coming to the beach?"
He rolled his eyes, "Well first off Luna I am Pakistani."
I giggled, "Okay yeah, say no more that was a stupid question."
"Anyways, as I grew older and things were changing, I needed a place to think. It used to be enough to just sit up on my roof for a while and smoke it out as I stared up at the stars. But things started getting complicated. So when I moved to Punta Gorda, I came here. Turns out this beach wasn't half bad at night. When the dark waves turned the stars to a flowing liquid in the reflection and the sand was like a blank sheet of paper for my mind. I dunno, it sounds stupid but it helped me through things," Zain finished. I liked listening to him ramble. He only ever seemed to open up like this late at night.
I started to wonder what kind of "things" Zain meant to where he had to come here to think everything through. And then I remembered Waliyha telling me about that girl in his picture frame and how Zain didn't want to talk about her. I built up my courage as the curiosity welled up inside me.
"Could those things have anything to do with the girl in the picture frame in your room?" I asked softly.
He didn't say anything and I thought that maybe I hadn't said it loud enough for him to hear.
"Waliyha told you about her, did she?" he finally said.
I sifted the sand with my fingers, "Not exactly. Just that she's a girl of your past and that you don't really like talking about her."
"Yeah she's right, I don't like talking about her. But to answer your question, yeah. She's the reason I had to come find this place," he admitted.
He lay back with his hands behind his head on the sand just then and I figured I shouldn't press any further on the subject. I tried to pretend like the questions in my mind weren't eating me alive. I stared up at the moon, which hung low right above the water. We were just two teenagers with shitty pasts who hated the beach and were ironically on the beach, spilling thoughts into the black water. It didn't make much sense especially when we were both so closed up most of the time. I didn't really know, but then again I never really knew with Zain.
"Care to join me?" he asked after I hadn't lay my head back with him.
I looked down at his relaxed position, "I'd rather not get my clean hair all sandy."
He rolled his eyes. He brought one arm from under this head and pat his chest. I could feel a windstorm fluttering around in my stomach at the simple gesture. Why the hell was he like this? He could be rude one minute, unable to tell me what he means the next and then asking me to lay under the stars with him the moment after that. It was all so confusing, but the longer I hesitated to move, the more I began to shiver, and it wasn't from the cold.
So I shut off the worry machine again and slowly rested my head on his chest while his arm gathered my hair to keep it off of the sand. My hand hovered above his stomach for a moment before I just said to hell with it and laid it there. I breathed in the scent of cologne and smoke mixed with the salty sea air. And I didn't feel so restless then. His body was warm against my cheek and solid beneath the soft fabric of his black t-shirt. I looked up at his glowing eyes and was almost mesmerized by the way his long eyelashes swept against his cheekbones. His nose still looked cute even though there was now a hoop poking through it. I found it amusing that no matter what Zain did to his body, it always was prettier than it was punk. Maybe with a few tattoos, but maybe not even then.
As my eyes traced the soft curve of his lips he started talking again. It wasn't about anything deep or personal. Just his thoughts. I watched the way his lips moved and even if I covered my ears I could still hear his accent. The way he shaped each word was so different than what I was used to and maybe that was the only reason I thought it was beautiful. Or maybe it was just because Zain was saying them.
After he had talked all of his thoughts away, he was quiet again. The world was still and silent besides the waves and the sound of his heart beat in my ear. The two would even sync together at times.
"Zain," I said after a while, "what is this?"
He blinked before he looked at me and I basked in the warmth of his golden eyes, "I don't know."
I broke his gaze, wondering why that hadn't been the answer I wanted to hear.
"I don't know a lot of things," he continued, "like why I brought you here or why I flew to Paris to see you or why we even met for that matter. The only thing I know is that you are here and I am here. Why that is, I have no idea. But I don't really think that's the point."
I paused to process his words. "Is there a point?"
He sighed, "Your guess is as good as mine."
I thought back to the conversation I overheard between him and his sister. He didn't want to listen to another word she had to say. But one thing that Waliyha had said never really left my mind.
She could make you happy.
And maybe that was the point.
He shifted so that he could look at me better, "And just because I don't know now, doesn't mean I won't stick around to eventually find out."
I smiled slightly, "One day. One day, Zain Malik, I will figure you out."
He laughed and his body shook beneath me, "I wouldn't plan on that."
AN
honestly don't even kno what this ch is like its so random idek oh well