(HI 🥺💗✨️ hope that you are doing great ✨️ sending you warmth take care💗 love you💗)
Porsche could only make Porchay change his clothes. He couldn't push him to wash his face or to get some rest, he put away the bloody mess behind the curtain not leaving the room and then sat back on the same spot. Porsche couldn't do more but he found the greatest argument for him to accept : "what would Kim think if he sees you covered in blood?". He would be worried, he would be terrified, he would want to check Porchay, he might try to move. The boy understood only because it meant that he was able to do something for Kim, only this, only him.
Kim was still sleeping. He was quiet. His eyes were closed but his chest was moving up and down. Porchay loved it, he was squeezing his hand but from time to time he was also putting the other on Kim's heart to be sure that it was still beating.
The feeling was reassuring and suffocating. Everything went well but until he would open his eyes, Porchay wouldn't believe anything, at all. He had hoped too much in life and it had ended badly.
Porsche didn't try to talk much. When he arrived slowly, struggling with the crutches, Porchay's face was brighter for some seconds and a tiny "Hia" came from his tired voice. He sat down next to his little brother and he got it, he knew. Nothing should be talked about, not now, not until Kim would be able to hear them too.
Porchay was like a sword, the one dancing, bound to fall soon and depending on the result his guts would be protected or cut away. He was on the edge, exhausted, his chest felt heavy, he was feeling that a whole ocean might have been able to develop itself inside. The river of his tears followed the flow to the ocean of his despair.
Porsche pushed his chair closer and put his arm on his shoulder, letting his head fall on Porchay's one. He had no doubts that the boy would appreciate this and he was, he just couldn't give energy to his brother now, he just couldn't leave his eyes from Kim, so he appreciated the way Porsche was the one to come against him.
"Hia..."
"Tell me Chay..."
"Do you think...that everyone we love...might end up in his type...of unwelcoming rooms?"
Porsche took his time to answer, he couldn't jump on the reassuring sentences when he just heard something new and astonishing : "love". The older brother wasn't unaware of their relationship, he wasn't ignoring that they were loving each other, it was obvious. The way they looked at each other, the way they moved around each other, the way Kim was trying to never live Porchay alone, the way he had tried to keep them inside the house. The moment they shared Porsche surely had no idea about because the intimacy of a couple was something to not totally be revealed. But here he heard it clearly, he heard it and he felt it. The sorrow in his voice, the word pronounced like the shelter of his last hope. A way to send a message to Kim, that he should wake up because hell was closer than they had thought it would be.
They were inside of a mafia house, they were living with cruel and less interested in human humans. They were with killers and criminals, they knew about this, they were conscious of the danger of that place and even of them. Yet, they loved, they loved and there was no explanation. They weren't less inhuman or softer, they stayed the same but they loved and were loved. Emotions in a place couldn't be ordered around and they forgot the place they were at, and they loved. They loved but this sensation was even more perilous, for themselves and because of their enemies around. But Porchay loved, he kept those words close to his heart and he tightened their hug.
The "unwelcoming rooms" were something Porchay never experienced but felt. He didn't have to witness the cold ground bringing down the lifeless body of their father. He didn't have to go to the morgue because their uncle couldn't be found and they needed to identify the corpse sooner. Porsche had no clear memory of it, not even of his father's death. It was blurry. But Porchay didn't have to smell the awful chemical atmosphere of the hospital when they took a look at the boy to see if he had been hurt too. Porchay didn't know anything about this but he sure had felt it, he sure absorbed the emotions Porsche and his uncle had.
He remembered clearly the day he was sobbing because it was so much, and he didn't even know anymore why he was sobbing, it was so hard inside and yet his brain was blank and he had nothing to tell the doctors who insisted on seeing him after the shock. They wouldn't see him that much anymore because his uncle had no money to pay for those sessions, sessions he didn't know why he would need them because wasn't it a car accident ? Like his uncle lied. It was burning inside, it was suffocating and then Porchay crawled to him with teary eyes. He crawled to him and stared with the most sadly intriguing expression he had ever witnessed on him.
"Hia...Hia..." He put his hands on his knees, trying to get closer. Porsche just took him in his arms and hugged him tightly. Porchay was perfectly embracing the shape of his sitting position, the tiny body not understanding anything but feeling and that chest was shaking of a pain he couldn't get but could still try to brush over the words he had learnt at school, something with his brother was that he liked to learn, he liked it so much. It was the period of time Porsche also promised himself to get to his little brother what he wouldn't be able to have : at least one loving adult to help him grow as a beautiful human and a good place in society thanks to university.
"Hia...why crying?" His soft voice asked, the small eyes of the boy being more and more wet at his emotions feeling his brother's distress.
"I am...I-...nothing Chay, I am just...happy that you are here..." He tried to say without sobbing anymore but it was harder than ever.
This was the day Porsche understood that he didn't want to for now, not before Porchay would be older, explain anything, the thing he couldn't remember well. He didn't want to spread that expression anymore on his precious little brother. He would protect him, he would be here with him and he wouldn't let anything try to hurt him.
He had failed, he had always thought, with the loaners getting to them. And he had understood quickly that Porchay was trying his best to cheer him up and he was still wondering to this day if he had been enough for the tiny human he also loved so much.
"No..."
It wasn't Porsche who answered, it wasn't him at all, it was like a groan coming from the bed and Porchay himself felt that the hand was squeezing his own hand and not the contrary. The brothers both looked at Kim's half-opened eyes and they couldn't react for long seconds before Porsche stood up abruptly, rustling before the hair of his brother.
He shouldn't have stood up like this, he felt it but using the crutches again, he quickly found a nurse and decided to just go back to Kinn's room. In reality, he had thought first of Kinn when he saw that Kim was awake, just because Porchay was here and he knew already. He couldn't wait to witness the worry of his boyfriend fade away. He couldn't wait for this and yet when he opened the room and said the news, Kinn had a worse face than he had before they left each other, recognising Korn it was easy to see that something was going on, something he clearly didn't care about because Kim was awake.
Kinn just walked out of the room without saying anything else, in reality he might have used that opportunity to just run away from the situation and to be honest Porsche would even encourage him to do so. Korn stayed inside, not minding them, not following them, just standing.
Porsche was struggling with his leg, it was hard to follow Kinn's rhythm towards the room but he turned around not too late, witnessing how far away his boyfriend was, handling his crutches with so much difficulty. It made him laugh and he felt lighter when he got closer to carrying Porsche. He couldn't wait, he couldn't take too much time to witness the healthy state of his younger brother. It was only in those moments that their brotherhood could clearly be seen.
Kinn put Porsche down before the door and when they opened Tankhun was here, looking at the bed with the sweetest smile.
Porchay was sleeping. He was lying down on the right side of Kim, the one which hadn't been shot through. His face was peaceful, his body was tightly curled up around Kim whose arm was carefully hugging his waist for the boy to not fall.
He blushed a lot when he saw that everyone was coming now but he didn't care that much, he felt that he might be embarrassed but that emotion was nothing next to the happiness to feel Porchay close to him, and to let him rest. Kim had been more surprised by the state of the boy but by his own, he was tempting in totally letting the bed to him but Porchay would have shot him verbally another time if he had even tried to move.
Porsche had no idea what got into him, he couldn't think. It might have been the happiness of seeing Porchay peaceful, it might come from the reassurance of Kim being alive, it might have been the guiltiness fading away because he was sure that the boy was alive and might not keep any physical problem from that situation. It might have been a mix of all of it which pushed him to get closer to the bed and to put their forehead together. He closed his eyes and breathed one big time before opening them and witnessing Kim's not knowing what to say expression.
"Thank you." He said, smiling and keeping a more comfortable distance from the boy."I won't do this anymore, you better never try again..." He giggled while whispering. "But thank you..." He added, caressing Porchay's hair and Kim understood. He wasn't delighted by this physical attention but all that Porsche went through, he could understand. He was thanking from the bottom of his soul the man who saved him and protected Porchay by waking up, the man who protected his brother in all ways because if Porsche would have been in that state, Porchay would have lost it too. It might be weird to think about it now but Kim did. He had seen the move so he kinda pushed Porsche the way he would be strategically touched in a not vital point. However, if Porsche had been shot Tawan could have touched his heart and nothing would have been able to be done. He wondered if Porchay would be able to get it too. They had cried, he had kissed Kim's cheek and then the boy didn't let him have any other choice than to get some rest. He was beginning to fear the talk they would need to have.
"Kim, everything is clear from that scene." Kinn said to him in a low voice. Kim had to make Tankhun shut up after he opened the door in a hurry so he was thankful that Kinn understood. "You just have to rest and do not do more than you need to. We might have way more to face..." He added.
Even if it looked emotionless, Kim had the corner of his lips a small amount up. It wasn't an explosion of emotions but it still looked like this, it was their own style.
"Khun..." Pol whispered, trying to get Kinn's attention. He continued when the man got closer. "We found them...but your uncle also desires to see you..."
Kinn sighed. "Don't let him go near Vegas and Macau. I am going to see them and then...I will know what should be done with my uncle."