I spent the rest of the day with Amanda. I was intrigued by her story and how she survived all the years with an abusive husband and a loveless marriage. How she managed to raise her children with love in a chaotic marriage.
Yet, despite the pain and suffering, her faith in God never wavered.
"God saw me through," she said, her voice calm and serene. "Though sometimes it felt like he wasn't there, he was always there. When my feet were failing, he kept me. That's why I have hope I'd be out of my misery soon."
Her words hit me hard. I couldn't help but think about all the times I had prayed and begged for God's help, yet it never seemed to come. It made me question why he would help some and ignore others. I cursed myself for blindly believing in him all those years.
"I used to do everything the Bible asked of me," I blurted out, my frustration seeping through. "But what did I get in return? Nothing."
Amanda gave me a sympathetic smile. "I know it's hard to understand, but sometimes God has a different plan for us. And his timing is not always the same as ours."
I shook my head in disagreement, still struggling to accept her words.
"That's a lie, I don't believe that anymore. So his plan was for me to die?" I scoffed and shook my head. "If he knew he only brought us into the world to suffer, if he knew he was going to be partial, then why bring us and let us suffer?" I seethed out angrily.
I really don't know why I am still not over an invisible being, or as they say; invisible father. Who abandoned his child, when she was still delicate.
Amanda smiled at me and placed her hand on mine.
"You're feeling that was because deep you know he didn't abandon you, you chose to leave his side and do things on your own, you......
"Please change the topic. I've heard too much about him, I can't no more" I whispered, pain attached to my voice.
She asked me why I got married to Pablo, and I found myself opening up to her about my reasons.
"You're a strong woman, Isadora," Amanda said, placing a hand on my shoulder. "A woman with a determined heart and a resilient spirit. Just like our ancestors who fought for their freedom and rights. You're a heroine, and I admire you for it."
I smiled at her words, feeling a sense of pride in myself for the first time in a long while.
The time I dreaded the most came closer. Dinner time. It meant, I was going to see Pablo.
I don't have the intention of being in the same room as him, but I remembered Amanda's words. She had asked me to abide by his simple rules, and I was going to heed to her plea because I knew people like Pablo.
When he finds out I am their strength, he would make them my weakness and I would be forced to abide by his every command through blackmail, I couldn't let that happen.
Reluctantly, I dragged myself to the dining room. Everyone was already seated, their eyes glued to their plates. Only the chattering sound of the knives and forks could be heard. I took my seat at the end of the table, farthest away from Pablo.
"Isadora," he broke the silence. I looked up and stared straight into his weird colored eyes. His jaw tightened and he looked away from my gaze.
Seems like someone doesn't like having eye contact. I smirked at my little effort to intimidate him, this was sure going to be a fun ride.
"I got the best doctor who'd be able to treat your disease, we'll go see her in two days," he informed, still staring at me, waiting for an anxious response or reaction. But I didn't give him the satisfaction. I simply replied with a shrug and continued eating, leaving him shocked.
A subtle smile cracked on both Amanda and Leah's faces, but they were good at concealing it.
"By the way, how well can you speak Italian?" Pablo asked, breaking the silence once again.
"Very little, I can only understand it," I replied, stuffing a forkful of noodles into my mouth.
"I see. Alvaro, my oldest son, will be coming over tomorrow. He'll be in Italy for a long time, so while he is here, he'll be your language tutor. I want you to be perfect," he emphasized on the last part with a smug look.
I inwardly rolled my eyes but said nothing. Because however hard he tried, he wasn't going to have his way with me.
"Amanda, Leah, Gabriele," he called their attention, and they stopped eating to pay attention to him. Sick. I thought but still i couldn't blame them.
"Alvaro is coming home soon, you already know what to do, I don't need to remind you. Inform the servants as well," he glared at them, while I kept mute, observing him.
There has to be a reason why he doesn't want Alvaro to know of his abusive ways, and I'm out to find out.
Maybe that could be a weakness of his, but then, the mafia men do not really have weaknesses, well whatever it is, I'm going to find out, and use it against him.
After taking my night bath, I wrapped myself in a silk robe and headed towards the garden, craving the peacefulness and serenity that the night always brought. As I walked past Leah's room, I heard a hushed conversation coming from inside.
At first, I ignored it and continued my journey, not wanting to eavesdrop on their personal conversations. But something compelled me to stop and listen.
"Mamà, do you know if Alvaro will stay for a long time?" I heard a young voice, filled with hope and longing. It was Gabriele.
"I don't know, son," Amanda's voice responded softly. "But I do hope he does, as your father said."
There was a pause, and then Leah's hopeful voice filled the room. "Me too mamma, I've missed him so much. The longer he stays, maybe he'd see all that father does and save us."
"Yes mama, why can't we go with Alvaro?" Gabriele continued, his innocent question tugging at my heartstrings.
My mind zoned out of their conversation and I began walking towards the garden again, deep in thought. It was so sad to hear what they were going through. But it seemed like it was up to me to make sure he actually did stay, for their sake.
My mind started to wander as I continued towards the garden, my thoughts consumed by the struggles and hardships this family had faced. They had been through so much, and yet they still held onto hope and faith. They were a strong family, but even the strongest of families could break under the weight of constant struggles. I hope they don't
It was another morning. One I wished I could skip and fast forward to a better time. I opened my eyes and immediately realized I was awake much earlier than usual. The sun was barely peaking through the curtains, casting a soft orange glow across the room.
I turned to my side to find Pablo lying next to me, sound asleep. His white shirt was rolled up to his chest, revealing his pot belly. He was snoring so loudly, it was like he was competing in a snoring contest. I couldn't help but cringe in disgust as I watched him. To make matters worse, there was saliva rolling down the corner of his mouth.
I let out a frustrated sigh and threw the covers off my body. This was not how I imagined my mornings to be. If I had the life I ever dreamed of, I should be waking up to morning kisses, a beautiful smile, or even breakfast in bed, all from the love of my life. But instead, I was stuck with an aged narcissistic man who only cared about himself.
I glanced back at him one more time, shaking my head in disappointment.
How the fuck am I going to ever satisfy my sexual desire? I thought. I shook my head and let out sigh. 'I need to get a dildo'. I muttered then walked into the bathroom.
I sighed as I finished drying off and stepped out of the shower.
I had to admit, I was a little hesitant to leave the bathroom because Pablo has a habit of making snide comments about my body, and I didn't want to risk him seeing me in my naked form. After lots of mental encouragement I finally left the bathroom.
Pablo was still sound asleep in our bed, snoring loudly. I rolled my eyes at the sound and made my way to the walk in closet.
I grabbed a blue, skimpy dress and slipped it on. I sprayed some perfume and let my hair fall in its natural, curly state.
As I walked out of the closet, I saw him sitting on the bed with a lazy smile on his face. "Good morning my beautiful wife," he greeted me, but I only gave him a frown in return. I couldn't stand his presence.
"You look so delicious in that outfit," he said, coming up behind me. His breath was repulsive and his touch made me cringe. I tried to pull away, but his grip on me was too strong.
"Relax, honey," he whispered in my ear. "We're not going to do anything right now. I just want to remind you of what could happen if my son ever finds out the real reason we got married. I need him to think you're just a whore and a home wrecker."
My blood boiled at his words. I wanted to smash his head into the mirror and make him pay for treating me like this. But I couldn't.
With all the strength I could muster, I managed to break free from his grip and turned to face him. He just smirked at me, his eyes roaming over my body with lustful intentions.
I didn't bother to fight or reply to him. I just walked out of the room, determined to not obey his commands.
As I walked through the garden, I felt a sense of calm wash over me. The vibrant flowers, the chirping birds, and the gentle breeze all created the perfect setting for a peaceful afternoon.
I made my way towards a bench at a hidden corner of the garden. While I was busy admiring the colorful blooms and the buzzing of bees, it crossed my mind to call my mom and sister to see how they were doing.
After a long conversation with my family, I hung up the phone and headed to a shed where I kept my painting supplies. As I gathered my paint brushes, canvases, and tubes of paint, I couldn't wait to start working on my new piece. Art has always been my passion, my escape from the real world.
I returned to the bench and laid out all my materials, ready to immerse myself in my own little world of colors and creativity. With a brush in hand, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, letting the warmth of the sun envelope me and my creativity take over.
And then, with a steady hand and a focused mind, I began to paint. It was as if the strokes were guided by this invisible force, each one carefully placed, blending colors and textures effortlessly.
I lost track of time as I meticulously worked on my canvas, creating a beautiful masterpiece.
The warm sun kissed my skin as I continued to paint, and it felt like the perfect companion to my creative process. The more I painted, the more I felt at peace. It was like all my worries and stress were disappearing with every stroke of the brush.
I glanced up at the sky and noticed how the golden hour light was beautifully illuminating my artwork. It was like a divine touch, adding a new layer of depth and beauty to my piece.
The hours had flown by in a blur as I poured my heart and soul into each brushstroke. It was like I had entered a different world, a world where time didn't exist and only my creativity ruled.
I glanced at the sky and realized that I had been lost in my work for hours. The once bright and shining sun had now set, leaving behind a sky painted with shades of pink and purple.
I felt a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment as I packed up my supplies.