.....................................................
Two months before Shatter Me.
.......................................................
- He stops the car and gets out of it. "Angel? Didn't you hear me?"
He walks around to come near me and I'm too frustrated to be nice right now. I just got fired from my job! I loved that job even as an introvert who had to deal with humans everyday, I loved working at Wonderfoods.
One; I got payed good enough to buy myself books.
Two; It was nice interacting with humans although it was something I hated.
And three; I could be away from my house for some hours, away from my parents.
And now it's gone. Given to someone I'm so jealous off. I shouldn't be jealous though but I can't control the way I feel. I'm a human for God's sake.
He gets in front of me and sighs irritated as his eyes go to the store. "Did someone bother you?"
I shake my head. "No, no one bothered me."
"So why are you upset?" He takes my left hand and caresses it with his in a soothing way that it takes all my frustration and jealousy away like magic.
He is a man who loves physical touch, that I understood three years ago when he kept playing with my hair while me, him, Amy and Eric were watching a movie.
I used to think he liked me but no, he just liked physical touch. And also now I know I was wrong because three years ago he was dating Noor.
Focus Blair.
"I got fired." I say removing my hand away from his only to see his mouth curl into a small frown but he washes it away.
"Why? Is it because someone complained? Or because of something else?" He asks me and waits for me to answer him.
I sigh. "Maybe I did something wrong? That didn't cross your mind?" I roll my eyes but try to sound as unbothered as possible.
I hear a small chuckle coming from him. "No. It didn't cross my mind because I know you." He brushes a piece of my curtain bangs away to see my eyes. "You wouldn't do anything wrong, you are perfect."
"Maybe you don't know me well enough, didn't you think of that?" I raise an eyebrow as I cross my arms.
"Okay, what the hell did I do?" His question takes me back. I shake my head trying to sound confused. "Whenever you give me that look, it's either someone pissed you off and you take that anger on me or you just like to argue with me."
"No that's not true, I just-"
He leans closer and stares at my eyes with hurt in his. "I'm not a stress toy dear. I could be a listener instead you know? It really hurts me to see you like this but it also hurts me when you throw your tantrum at me. It hurts."
I sigh as my face saddened. I'm such an idiot. I'm behaving like my mother. Getting mad at someone else but taking my anger on someone different. "Lucas I'm so sorry, I'm just upset right now and you...happen to be here."
"That's okay." He rubs the back of his neck and I see his mouth turning into a big smile. I get confused. "It's just, we always seem to argue for stuff that don't make sense, if someone sees us like this they'd think we're married angel."
My cheeks flush in red and I smile awkwardly. "Or- or they'd think we are uhm...siblings?"
His smile drops. He frowns. "Siblings?! There is no fucking way you and I act like siblings. This- is how couples act."
"But we are not a couple." I remind him.
He nods with a slight smile and disappointment. "But we are not a couple."
His eyes seem to show a bit of sadness but he chuckles awkwardly and his eyes shift to the store. I see the changes on his face.
Hurt/frustration/sadness/desire all together mixed.
I turn to the store and there she is, the perfect girl. Noor.
Kill me.
I wonder what he is thinking right now when he sees her there. "Remember Noor?" I ask acting clueless. "She was in our school. And she started working here," I sigh. "as a cashier."
"She took your job?" His gaze is on me as his hand clenches into a fist. He didn't even asked and just assumed that right away. Well he knows her better then anyone else obviously.
I shake my head a little. "Billy gave it to her. She said she didn't knew." When I look at Lucas I see his gaze is on her. I wonder if Noor gave him a second chance would he take it?
I clear my throat and he sighs coming back to his senses. Noor was also looking at him from the window but she walked away. "Get in."
"Hm?"
"Get in the car Blair." I feel confused right now. But it must be some ex-crisis type of thing so I walk towards his car but he opens the door for me and also closes it.
He gets in as well and starts to drive us away without saying a word. The silence is awkward. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine."
That's all he says and I don't feel like I should ask again.
We arrive at our houses in silence, he parks his car inside his house. "I thought you were gonna drop me off at my house?"
"Change of plans. I need company." He didn't even asked me if I wanted company or not. It sounded more of a demand then a request.
Before I have the chance to ask he opens the door for me and takes me out by my hand. He is leading me- dragging me behind his house towards the forest that's snear his villa.
Okay now I'm scared or just being paranoid.
There is a small type of a cabin. It's all made out of wood. He doesn't even give me the chance to talk, opens the door and gets me inside the cabin.
I look around the cabin and the furnitures all look expensive with one word, modern but cozy. There is a living room, across the living room is the kitchen, there is also a bathroom. My eyes catch a climpse of stairs made out of wood as well. I assume there must be a bedroom.
I don't say anything just stare at the cabin with an uneasy feeling.
I trust Lucas but he's still...a man.
He walks to the couch and stops when he sees me not moving. Only then he understands my unevenness. His mouth goes open in shock and shakes his head. "Jesus Blair- what- why-" He frowns a little and sits on the couch disappointed. "I'm not a monster, you're breaking my heart with that look."
Some events have made me be very paranoid that is true. "Sorry." I whisper embarrassed.
He rests his elbows on his knees like he is upset by my reaction but I can sense some sadness that it's not because of me. "I just wanted some company, that's all I swear." He sighs. "But if you want I can send you home right now-"
"Why are you sad?" I ask cutting his words out. "That sadness doesn't come from me, okay maybe you're disappointed with my paranoia but you're sad." I sit near him. "Why?"
He takes a moment to respond. His leg starts to shake nervously, a habit he does when he is nervous or anxious. "Noor," I try to keep a calm face. "that girl you saw..."
"Yes?"
"Well she's my ex." He keeps his gaze away from me and I try to sound surprised.
"Oh, what happened?"
"She broke up with me because her brother- maybe you have heard." I nod at him. "Because I was Connor's friend."
He goes silent and I sigh remaining silent as well, giving him some time to himself.
After some minutes I break the silence. "Did you love her?"
"More than you can imagine, I had tried to be with her since middle school but she refused me multiple times just cause we were friends, till she gave me a chance only to break my heart two months later." If I knew no better I'd say tears have formed in his eyes already. "I just- I am over her that is true, if she would ask me to be with her I would never accept since now I like someone else,"
My eyes go wide, he likes someone else? Oh God stop it Blair. Stop the jealousy. At least now I got the answer to my question if he would be with her if she asked him back.
Focus Blair.
He sighs in sadness. "It's just... she was my first love, and we were friends as well. The memories and all. It hurts," He turns to look at me and puts his hand on his chest. "Here."
I feel so bad for him right now, I place my hand on his shoulder and his muscles relax a bit. His eyes softened at my touch, a small smile appears on his face. "I'm sorry you went through that. I can't imagine the pain you're feeling right now, it must be painful."
I can imagine a bit. While he was liking Noor, I was liking him. Speaking of who liked me? It only sounds fair if it was a whole cycle.
He takes my hand and rubs the back of it gently. "Thank you. You have no idea how good your presence does to me." Before I know his hand is caressing my cheek. "Blair... I have a confession to make-"
I was surprised and wanted to hear the rest of the conversation but we heard a cry for help. He jumped on his feet immediately in a protective way and I stood up. "What's going on? What's that noise?"
"Stay right here, I'm gonna go check." He says pointing his finger at me. "Don't you dare go out, please." He gets out and locks the door behind him.
He is a protective man. Even Amy admitted that.
But I'm not gonna stay here obviously so I open the window and jump. This cabin is to big so it was easy for me to jump without breaking a leg. I see a metal next to the stairs so I take it.
For safety.
I walk through the forest in a defense position, I mean it's night and God knows what's here. Yeah sure our town can be safe but it's also not common to hear a cry for help.
I spot Lucas hiding behind a tree like he's checking something so I tap him on the shoulder and his reflexes were so fast I didn't even see him pushing me to wall, locking both my arms and legs, metal falls down. "I-I come in peace." I say in defeat.
"You? What part of "stay right here" didn't you understand?" His eyebrows squint in upset.
"I was curios." I smile awkwardly.
"Of course you were." He lets go of me slowly and I take a peak.
There are some all-in-black men "What are these wannabe Men in Black are doing?"
"I don't know yet." He keeps me close to him as he looks as well.
And that's when my heart sinks. They're carrying a girl on their arms, blindfolded, mouth covered. Tied.
"Jules." I say panicking when I recognize the redhead girl. My friend.
Lucas's face turns into an angry one. "Piece of shits. No way they think they can kidnap one of our girls from our town and get away with it." His hands curl up into fists as he gets in a ready to fight position.
I can feel my heart beating so fast.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
............................
Present Day.
...........................
- I hold the piece of letter on my hands as I examine it. Obviously panicking. I focus on my breathing so that I don't randomly pass out from to much stress and panic.
"Payback time."
What does it even mean? Who would even send me this?
And it's so pathetic to put paper on food no matter how disgusting that food is, actually it's pathetic to send messages through letters nowadays when phones exist.
Speaking of, I like letters, envelopes and mysteries they're actually fun and gives me nostalgia from when I used to send letters to Amy.
Focus Blair.
"Who would say this to me?" I sigh irritated and groan a little. It's making me frustrated the more I think of that.
Who hates me so much to threaten me?
My guess is Warner but he already gave me his punishment by locking me here now for four days. Heartless Blondie.
Who could it be?
So if not Warner then Ken? No that idiot only likes to tease, besides it says "payback" someone is seeking revenge towards me but who? Kenji could probably be like a hidden ember.
Who could it be?
Katya doesn't seem like a suspect, that girl is all rainbows and butterflies. But obviously she is here, works for a devil, so maybe I underestimated her and now she's showing her true colors.
Who could it be?
Asuka scares the shit out of me but I didn't do anything to her for her to plan revenge on me except that she was angry when Warner almost suspected her that day. When he was looking for the person who apparently helped me escape.
Who could it be?
I leave a long upsetting sigh, I swear if Miguel is in this I might just strangle him myself now. He literally injected me that needle though, meaning he is done with his revenge unless he's upset at me for making him be in trouble.
Who could it be?
I'm so terrified right now that I didn't even notice how sweaty my hands have become. Or how sweaty my hair has become. God I'm panicking.
Inhale.
Exhale.
That should be easy. I stand up from the chair and walk in a loop thinking about any small clue of who could be threatening me.
Who did I piss off now?
I hate this place.
This is getting to much for me to handle. Bad things have started to happen to me since the moment I opened my eyes in such place.
Bad things never stopped happening to me anyways.
I feel so uneasy right now and I can't properly breath, I put my hand on my chest as I feel it being tight and strangling my insides, blocking the air to access inside my lungs.
It's to much to handle, fear.
My thoughts go to when I heard Amy's voice in my head as well, that's a mystery I haven't solved yet and I need to know why I heard her voice out of nowhere.
I lay down on the mattress and I feel disgusted by it but don't have time to think about that right now. I need to stay calm.
I put the piece of letter inside the material of the pillow.
Inhale.
Exhale.
My eyes go shut and before I know it I have fallen asleep.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。
- I feel lost in the darkness, I scream the loudest I ever did for someone to hear me, for someone to safe me, but whenever I tried to scream no sound came out from my mouth.
I feel trapped in a dark place. There is no light, not even a tiny one. I wanna cry, I try to cry but no tears came from my eyes.
Even my dreams are telling me I'm all alone in this world. All by myself.
I like being alone, but I don't want to feel alone.
I hear some noises like someone stepped inside, that's when my dreams vanishes. I'm awake but my soul wants to sleep.
I wanna open my eyes but my head hurts at the moment to do so. I feel tired, exhausted and scared.
"She sleeps like a baby." A familiar voice echoes in my ears. "Peaceful and adorable." He chuckles a little jokingly.
I move a little but being stressed is making me very exhausted. The footsteps are being heard closer to where I'm standing.
A touch on my shoulders and I'm wide awake, alarmed. I move away till my back hits the wall.
The familiar black gloves makes me wanna puke. "You?" I sigh in disgust and relief that no one unfamiliar was here.
"Me." Warner says calmly with a small grin.
"What do you want now?" I ask as anger can be heard in my voice.
Maybe he sent that letter to frighten me. Maybe he's doing this on purpose, to make me scared, to make me lose my mind.
He puts his hands behind his back, I can sense he's amused by my fear. "No need to be scared." I notice he has a paper bag on his hands and he places it on the desk.
"I'm not." I lie.
He scoffs a little and nods. "Sure." He leans closer to me and I stand up. I don't want him to find me vulnerable in this small disgusting cell.
"What do you want?" I ask again annoyed this time. But he leans closer to me till I'm cornered by him. He wants me to be scared of him.
And I'm afraid he's succeeding.
"How did you find your new "room"?" His face is close to mine but not to close. He avoids touching me. I can feel that familiar intoxicating breath on my skin.
"Such a shame all this beauty is wasted on a beast like you." I think to myself not noticing I mumbled these words under my breath, to loud for him to hear.
He leans his face closer to mine putting his hand against the wall near my head, invading my personal space and my legs are in between his. "Don't say words that may affect your punishment, dove. And if you want me to be the beast in your story why don't you become the beauty in mine?"
I feel uneasy being so trapped in between him, His face is close to mine, his hand near my hand. I feel my heart wanting to explode from uncomfortableness and another familiar feeling I had only when I was near Lucas.
I wonder if he felt the slight touch of our mouths together that day. Maybe he didn't.
No, hide your feelings. He's a monster. A devil. A beast. Someone that I hate.
Yes, I hate him.
Don't show weakness.
I can sense that ironic teasing in his tone. He's provoking me by any chance he finds. "Humble yourself." I say.
"Humble me."
"Alright, you said you didn't watch movies and that they're just wasting peoples time, so how do you know about Beauty and the Beast?" I raise an eyebrow.
He goes silent for a little. "My mother used to tell me stories. Most movies you see on TV dear used to be fairytales first. Or words on paper."
"You mean books?"
"Yes. You like books don't you?"
"Well who doesn't?" I shrug.
"A lot of people find books to be quite useless and meaningless. Only real ones know how much books can affect one's feelings and mind." He adds. "They know that books aren't just words on paper, they are stories, worlds that a writer created with devotion and time. Worlds that welcome many people with open arms to feed up their delusions-"
"You definitely read books." I smile a little. No wonder he's this much delusion.
Like me.
And everyone who reads.
"I don't. I have much more important stuff to do then-"
"Okay okay I get it. No need to be so classic about it and just get straightforward." I say impatient. I want him to leave. He raises his eyebrows in surprise. "I get it."
For some reasons I'm always uncomfortable around this man.
But I can't deny I find him to be utterly attractive. But deeply annoying.
Although there is something that makes me interested and curious to know. His mother. "Where's your mother?"
His smile vanishes and he looks at me with a surprised look on his face and irritation. "Blair, remind me why are you here again?" He says and I scoff. He just avoided my question.
"An idiot with authority decided to lock me up in here cause he couldn't bare to hear my such unfortunate language." I cross my arms.
"Stop challenging me."
"Then stop provoking me!" I drop my hands.
He sighs and takes a step back, he looks around the cell and then back at me. "Again, how did you found your new room?" He repeats his earlier question.
"Disgusting. Small, dark, no air, old, and the food is disgusting." I say immediately. "My advice, change the chef and the architect."
Warner doesn't say anything except for giving me a small smirk. "Do you wish to leave this place?"
I nod quick. "Yes!"
"You'll be taken to your old room once you behave like a nice little girl, and if you stop insulting me would be very much appreciated." He says making a proposition to me which he definitely knows I will fail. "It will be like adding a few more points to getting you out of here."
How can I not insult him?
It comes off naturally.
I don't say anything and bite my lower lip.
"But until then you're stuck here." He says again reminding me as he points around the cell. "And I can see you haven't eaten your food." His eyes go to the plate on the desk.
"It's disgusting like I said."
"I'm sure you'd rather prefer some sushi, or perhaps fast food?" I feel hunger rise up on me when I hear those words. "Fast food isn't healthy thou-"
"You can be healthy all you want, I'm gonna eat and like what I want. Now as I said change the chief. And I'd like better food." I say as my eyes sparkle and the thought of a good food. "So if you're not gonna east fast food cause they're unhealthy, then pass them to be."
As a picky eater I am, I must be fed good or I would be starving myself. And for some reasons I never had a problem for doing that.
He sighs as he looks at me up and down. "This room and the food are your punishments. But," he walks a little having his back against me. "If you want books, then you're gonna have to do something for me in order to earn them."
I think a little and I really would like to have something to read while being locked up in here. "Well, why can't you just give me one without me doing anything for you?"
He almost laughs at me, he does and turns to look at me, probably to make fun of me. "That's not how this works, love. You don't just get things without working or having to do something for it. If that was the case I would have gotten this position without doing what I did."
I snort in annoyance and cross my arms as I walk towards him showing a bit of toughness.
"That's bullshit. It's not like you're my boss or anything for me to do something for you so that I could earn something. You have imprisoned me here in this disgusting room, you are giving me disgusting food as well least you could do is give me something I want-"
"But this is your punishment my sweet dove." He cuts me off. "And if you want books you must do something for me."
I sigh irritated and raise my eyebrow curious. "Speaking of, what did you do to earn this position?"
He gulps in what I think is nervousness. This may be something he doesn't feel comfortable talking about. Which only makes me more curious. "You will do something in order to get what you want and that is final."
He changes the subject.
But I won't forget to ask him that again when I get the chance to. He tries to wash the sudden nervousness away by a smirk.
I roll my eyes at him. "What the fuck do you want "Blondie"?" I say the nickname he seems to hate.
He only has a half crooked smile on not giving me what I want. Him being angry has to be the funniest and most enjoyable moment ever.
Till it made me end up in a cell.
He grabs the paper bag from the desk and pulls small pieces of fabric. "Here."
He hands me the two pieces of fabric and I raise an eyebrow confused. "What is this? What are those for?"
Warner sighs. "An aptitude test."
He looks at me like he's waiting for me to say something. "An aptitude test?" My lips curl into a disgust type of frown.
These two pieces of fabric have a beige color that looks almost like my skin color. "You want me to wear these?"
He scoffs like my question was dumb. Maybe it was. "No, just hold them on your hands for half an hour if you want me to give you books."
"Okay, piece of cake. I can do that." I shrug.
He sighs in a long exaggerated way like he's so done with me. "Blair," he takes a deep breath. "You have to wear them. Wear them."
I snort as I look at the supposed-clothes on my hands. "Ew, I ain't wearing those. They're short and there is no modesty in them. And the color, good heavens isn't very pleasing to look. It looks like my skin."
He laughs a little at me but then stops as he seems a bit curious. "You care about modesty?"
"Surprise I guess?"
He sighs. "You are putting these on and you are coming with me for the aptitude test. Otherwise no books for you."
Silence hits the room.
I don't know what to say. I want books more then everything but also I don't wanna wear these pieces of fabrics.
"You don't have any other choice." He says again. "So wear these and I'll give you what you want."
I look at my hands as I start to play with my fingers nervously. There is a scratch in this piece of cloth I am wearing. I never noticed that-
"Blair?" He brings me back to my senses.
"I'm thinking." I roll my eyes.
If mosquitoes need blood meal to reproduce, meaning our blood, does this makes us parents?
"You're doing that again." He sighs irritated.
I look up at him confused. "Doing what?"
"Zoning out." He comes a little close to me. "My eyes are right here, not on that wall."
"Okay, I'll wear them." I say wanting to change the subject because then we'd end up arguing again. Meaning adding more weeks to my punishment.
Warner doesn't move an inch just stares at me like wanting me to change already. I raise an eyebrow with a frown reminding him I need privacy.
"Fine, I'll turn." He says with a slight smirk. "But just this once."
"Get out."
"Excuse you."
"Don't just turn, get out." I say serious and he scoffs at me.
"You're not gonna win this argument love. I'll turn, you change into those clothes." He seems angry now. "And do not give me orders. I give orders not you. Now change."
I bite my lip in anger. I wanna strangle him with this small piece of fabric right here right now.
But can't risk anything. I nod and he turns.
"If you turn around just one millimeter, I'm gonna kill you." I threaten him only to hear a chuckle. An amused chuckle.
Man I'm threatening him, what kind of a delusional person is he?
I take the piece of cloth slowly while looking if he takes a peak at me. I feel so vulnerable, so weak, so exposed to a person like Warner.
And so scared.
Kill me.
Focus Blair.
I wear the first piece of the fabric which looks like a tank top. Then I wear the other one as well which looks like shorts. I cover up the GEM scar on my thigh so he wouldn't notice it.
I take a deep breath.
This is disgusting, I feel like I'm naked.
"Done." I mumble in shame and embarrassment.
Warner turns to face me and his eyes are locked on my body. Observing every inch of me with his green eyes.
Observing to a point I get uncomfortable that I put my long hair in front of me while leaving some strands behind as if covering myself. I cross my arms.
He smirks like he is feeling what I'm feeling.
"Shall we?" He offers me his gloved hand and I look at him in disgust. I walk past him to the door but I feel his hand on my waist.
I flinch and he brings me near him. "For safety. Don't want you to run off you know."
"Funny how you think I'd run off while looking basically naked." I try to move his hand away but his grip gets tight.
We walk out of my cell and he leads me to a corridor I haven't seen, not that I been any other place in here but this corridor is blacker, bleaker and more narrow as we go.
I soon realize we are heading downstairs, into a basement.
We pass through 1, 2, 4 metal doors and soldiers are everywhere, their eyes everywhere as I can see fear in their eyes and something else I do not want to consider.
There are less females in this building and I'm happy to know that people‐men here think my touch is lethal.
The darkness is like a black canvas punctured by a blunt knife with beams of light peeking through. Guns are surrounding me.
"Get in." Warner says before pushing me into an empty room smelling faintly of mold. Someone hits a switch and fluorescent lights flicker on to reveal pasty yellow walls and carpet with the color of dead grass. The door slams shut behind me.
I feel fear rising up in my body and regret for asking for books.
I hope he gets me good books so that this situation won't be for nothing.
In this room is only cobwebs and a huge mirror. The mirror is half the size of the wall. I feel like someone is watching me. Blondie.
Mechanical clinks cracks and shifts shake the space I'm standing in. The ground rumbles to life. The ceiling trembles. Metal spikes are suddenly everywhere. This feels like a torture chamber.
Static and feedback from speakers who seem old crackle to life. "Are you ready?" Warner's annoying voice echoes around the room.
I should have asked for a pair of headphones as well.
I look around as my heart beats so fast it may leave my chest in any minute. "Ready for what?"
"We made a deal, remember?"
"I don't understand-"
"I'll give you books if you do something for me. Now hold onto the end of your bargain."
"What am I supposed to do? Try not to die?" I ask the air terrified. With a hint of sarcasm.
"That too," the voice says and only then I notice some small cameras in each of the corner.
The ground looks like it has a small door and it opens. And a familiar face pops up, the metal door pops up like Taylor Swift on her tours. He is tied up to a chair, blindfolded.
He looks at me terrified.
"Try to save your hero," Warner's voice echoes in the room. "If you don't, we won't either."
I look at the person who seems to be waiting for me to safe him. But this is a risky challenge.
If I have a lethal touch I could kill him. But if I don't save him then he could be killed from spikes being thrown up.
I could too.
"Miguel." I whisper his name with sadness as I bite my bottom lip and play with my fingers nervously.
A relief smile appears on his face and he speaks softly. "Querida."
..........
A/N:
This is probably the longest chapter I have written so far. I'm planning to make all the other chapters long so that there wouldn't be many chapters.
Do you guys prefer long chapters or short?
Ramadan Mubarak to my fellow Muslims!!
Random question: What do you think Blair's favorite flowers are?
And: What's your favorite line from each of my characters?
(Published on March 12 2024)