Frankly, all Nick had been wanting was to go out on a walk. He hadn't known what was to come out of it.
''Editing kicked my ass today, I need air,'' Nick complains. ''Air I tell you,''
Nick ever the one into dramatics wasn't kidding either. He and his brothers had been cooped up inside all day, caged inside. While he undertook the brunt of editing.
''Whoa kid,'' Chris snickers at him. ''Over here acting like you've never been outside a day in your life,''
''Well, I've been editing all day, it's suffocating in here, so yeah, it feels that way,''
Chris's laughter trails off eventually, an easygoing grin sliding into place. Nick can't help but fight one of his own at seeing the expression. It's been a while since he'd seen Chris so relaxed.
''It is stuffy in here, so what, you wanna go on a walk or somethin'?'' Nick didn't get a chance to even voice an answer before the kid was already jumping up. And rambling more. ''It might help. I'm dying sitting here, like I can't physically sit still for another minute, man,''
''That's hard to believe,'' Nick joked. ''But sure,''
Chris's head of brunette hair flopped as the younger nodded. The gesture was brief before Nick saw the other glance in Matt's general direction.
''Cool, Matt, you up for it or no?'' Chris questioned.
The middle child shrugged non committedly,
''I've got nothing else to do,''
It's all that's needed for them to get ready to go, Already having one place and one place only in mind. There's a trail they've always liked to walk to that's a part of a fairly common park. It's not a far walk to get there, and there's only really one busy street needed to cross to get there. It'd seemed perfect, harmless.
_____
It wasn't harmless.
There's a car coming, headed toward not Matt but one of his brothers. A part of him thinks it'd be easier to have it directed toward him. Regardless, it doesn't magically change its course toward him.
Specifically, it's headed at Nick. It's Nicolas who is stepping out from the shelter two parked cars bring, weaving through them. Stepping out to cross the street and head toward the park that has the trails. And Matt knows without a doubt that there's no way the driver will take notice of Nick. Not in time at least. The driver won't stop, and Matt ideally doesn't want a brother that's flattened into smithereens.
And Nick? Frustratingly enough Nick still isn't looking up. It's the one time that Nick's paranoia isn't having the other checking their surroundings.
Go figure, it's also the one time it'd be useful to do so.
''Hey, woah,'' Matt whistles out, hearing his own voice laced with shock and fear as he fought the urge to scramble to Nick's side. Nick would hear him before it got to that point, his brother had too. ''Woah, watch out, move out of the way, Nick,''
Chris who'd been strolling alongside Matt, stops. Wanting to see what the commotion was about, Chris turned to their elder brother's direction at Matt's exclamation, voice revving up and rivaling even his own in its terror.
''Nick, he's right get out of the way, man!'' Chris screams at the same time.
Negligently, Nick glanced in their way at the cries. Never in the direction of the vehicle, never noticing the impending threat. Matt did, his brunette curls tickling at his cheeks as his head jerked, sight set on the moving hazard.
''What're you all blabbing about? There's nobody even out on the street, I'm fine -''
Oh, fuck Nick still isn't looking up. What is there to do, what else can he do? Everything is falling deaf on ears when it came to Nick.
''Nick, Nic... Shit, Nicky, please there's a --'' Eyes growing impossibly large Matt cries out again. ''Damnit, look out!''
Shit, there's no time for Nick to do anything now, Matt thinks. It's no use calling out to the other.
Unthinkingly, Matt's halfway across the road before he's finished speaking. Chris's shouting doesn't register in his ears. His movements are fast and frenzied, so sudden he's barely even aware of moving. He's a blur.
The driver of the oncoming car may not see his brother, but they must see Matt's as he's a pure blur of motion. Because they step on the brakes and honk loudly. The noise doesn't phase Matt, he doesn't suddenly jerk away at the racket, Matt can't do that. There's just him and his brother in his jumbled mind. He needs to get to his brother.
Get to Nick, save Nick, whatever he does don't let anything happen to Nick. His mind chants, and Matt finds himself progressively more desperate and horrified at his thoughts.
As he'd said before, the sound doesn't phase him, It's the honking though that does startle his brother. Finally, Nick goes to look up - too late - and Matt barely has time to see the way Nick's eyes widen. The eldest tenses, body awaiting what's to come. Not that it will, not while Matt's around. But the split second he sees the expression however will stay imprinted on his mind. There's a second he sees his brother's face before he's grabbing the elder tightly around the middle and swinging the both of them around in an effort for the car to miss them. Or at the very least miss one of them. Matt does so with so much force that it brings them to the ground, hard. Except they don't just hit the ground, the unexpectedness of it all, of Matt's unyielding grip has Nick releasing a gasp. Then losing what's left of the footing the elder had. Nick drops, as unmerciously as a swatted fly. As a result, Matt does too, unwilling to let go of the grip he has on his triplet. The vehicle is closer to them now, nearer than it once was. Threatening to whizz by them, Matt sucks in a breath, eyes squeezing shut as he brackets Nick's form with his own as they roll away. This is it he thinks,
Miraculously, it's not. Narrowly the oncoming car misses them, the driver shouts obscenities at them as they pass by.
It's the least of his worries. The adrenaline, terror, anxiety, all of It he feels all leaves Matt breathless.
''Ompfh,'' Nick grunts out in shock, as Matt's elbow digs into the others gut. The blonde's lips are parted appearing to be wanting to say more. The eldest doesn't, too busy catching up on the breath Matt's tackle had stolen. Luckily enough for him, anything furthermore that Nick had been planning to say was cut off.
As they'd rolled prematurely, Matt had ended up half sprawled out on Nick, elbows scraped up and both his hip and thigh smarting from where the car clipped him as it passed, but he wastes no time thinking about it. Adrenaline heavy, with his heart beating like a drum, he gets up. With difficulty, his ribs for whatever reason protest as he pulls the elder up with him, letting his eyes roam over the blonde to make sure his sudden airheaded brother is still in one piece.
The elder happens to be so all of Matt's efforts weren't in vain. Although, his brother's eyes are vast and wide. And the other's usual ivory-colored skin is terribly pale, but from what he can see there's not too much blood on Nick. Just what was to be expected on the other's arms and legs considering road burn. Matt takes that as a good enough sign, road burn is painful but it's far better than the alternative.
His relief is interrupted as their youngest brother comes running over to where they'd landed.
''Fuck! You guys - were they even trying to stop for you?'' Chris rambled, panicked. Matt looked at the younger, then at Nick.
''..Nick, hey, talk to me, are you good?'' Matt's voice breathes out shakily.
''Matt,''
''Yes? Fuck, you're hurt, aren't you? I -''
''Stop talking,'' Nick interrupts, as short and curtly as possible. Matt's brows furrow. Mistakenly believing it's the shock that'd formed Nick's reply.
''Why, does your head hurt, or,''
Nick doesn't wait for him to finish.
''Because if you talk any more then I'm going to kill you, legitimately,'' Matt eyes his brother in confusion. ''I won't feel any remorse for it either, not after that,''
''Wow, that's.. that's crazy,'' Chris responds. ''Unless that's how you deal with near-death experiences then I mean cool,''
''Me! You want to kill me, why not Chris?''
In mock betrayal Chris gasps.
''Alright, now I want to join Nick,''
''Yes, you!'' Nick exclaims. ''Oh my god, are you crazy! Matt, what the hell was that for?''
Matt's stunned, too stunned to think of a reply.
''Oh, so replying isn't a thing anymore? No explanation for what you just did, no nothing?''
''Nick, for real I think you need to calm down man,''
''And you, will you shut up? Because I was talking to Matt, not you,''
''Dude, cool it, I'm just saying that he looks a bit banged up, you can't like wait to yell at him?''
''I don't care! I'm a little bit banged up now too. You wouldn't be defending him if it was you he'd jumped on, you weren't the one who was just tackled, Chris!'' Nick shouts. ''No, no I'm not going to calm down. What the actual fuck is wrong with you, Matt? Do you not think? Did you think it was funny, that we were messing around? Any car could of came by and hit us because you decided to go and goof off!''
''I know! I knew that there was a car coming -''
''You don't know,'' The eldest debates. ''Fucking up as is wasn't enough for you, now you've got to tackle me in streets now too, or what? Seriously, kid, what were you doing? Why'd you - ''
''What was that for?'' Matt finally echoes once his breath is his own again. It hurt to speak. ''Oh I don't know, it's not like you were listening to me when I tried to warn you! I just saved your life and all you want to mention is how much you think I goof off, that I'm a screw-up? That's messed up, Nicky,''
Matt spits the nickname out like venom, Nick cringes at it. Instead of stopping at it, it fuels Nick to keep going, shoving at Matt's chest in outrage. He stumbles back in shock,
''You weren't saving shit, okay, you didn't save anyone. If anything, you hurt people. My arms are all fucked up from road burn because of you. That car would've stopped. So no, you didn't save anyone, you do get that, don't you, Matt?''
Matt blinks dazedly.
''You're ridiculous you're so blindsided by what you want to see that you don't even realize I just saved your ass!''
''Whatever, Matt,'' Nick brushes him off. So uncaringly that it's like Matt had never spoken at all. ''How about you meet us back at home when you're done being an asshole and nearly getting others killed,''
''Yeah, fuck off, Nick,'' Matt whispers, trying to keep his voice steady. Nick reels on him. Getting the last word,
''No, fuck you, stupid kid,''
Matt's face drops, expression vaguely looking crushed. The comment's weighted. It's not taken back. He knows he's lost, hell, he can't reply to that without sounding like an immature and hurt child. So he doesn't, Matthew stands there as his eldest brother's back turns on him. Feeling disappointed but not surprised as Nick goes to leave. Tugging Chris along, Matt pretends not to notice as Chris's concerned gaze keeps flashing back on him. It's gone soon enough anyway. The both of his brothers are.
Matt's left there, feeling numb. Wanting to follow his brothers but not wanting to linger,
And then Matt feels it all, the preliminary adrenaline, the prior need to make sure Nick would be okay is gone. Now all he feels is pain, it's all he can focus on. Matt fucking hurts. The pain is beyond comprehension, It's not even one part of him that hurts either it's all of him.
His ribs, his hand, his side, head. It all hurts, so much that he gives in to it. His breaths coming out in short agonized puffs, hand resting on where his ribs feel as though they are constricting. Matthew's eyes squeeze closed, eyelids creasing in the corners. Then everything dims, vision obscuring, Matt, falling helplessly to the awaiting ground.
Nothing stops his descent to the ground, nothing softens it.
_____
Matt's current state goes unbeknownst to Nicolas. To Chris even,
''What the fuck're you doing, Nick?'' Chris's voice started up a few minutes into walking. ''That was Matt you left back there, that was our Matty, and you just ripped him a new one when you know he didn't even deserve it,''
''You can go back to him if you're so worried, you know,'' Nick snapped back, the corners of his lips turning downward. ''It's not at all like he's the one who pushed me,''
Chris's eyes narrowed,
''Yeah, he did,''
''Why're you taking his side then?''
''Can you not see that he did it to protect you, you moron!''
''Chris -''
Vehemently the youngest's head shakes.
''No, you talked enough back there, you made your point and yelled enough. It's my turn to talk since you didn't let Matt, got it?''
While Nick isn't the biggest fan of being talked to the way Chris is speaking to him - his mind's still only focused on one piece of what'd been said.
''What did you mean when you said he was protecting me?''
''That I don't think you saw all of what had happened. You must've only caught a glimpse of what was going on.''
''What'd I miss then?''
''You hadn't been paying attention as much as you should. Never mind the fact that it's you know, a busy street, you dumbass kid. Anyway, turns out that there was a car coming for you. I hadn't noticed it in time but Matt definitely had. And Matt - he ...'' Nick watches as his brother licks at chapped lips. And then the youngest finally meets his gaze, eyes full of anguish, Nick knows what's about to be said before it is. ''Nick, dude, you didn't see how he pushed you out of the way. It was like he wasn't thinking of anything else. I mean fuck, I'm glad you're okay. But he - you need to realize that he could've died too,''
Nick feels as if he's been dunked in ice water. Grotesque Images of what Chris had said unfolding in his mind, one of Matt's head snapping back as the car hit Matt head-on, of his brother falling to the pavement, of the brunette looking up dully at Nick with wide eyes and a bloodied nose) it all flashes before his eyes.
''No, no,'' Nick protested, voice trembling. ''No.. that's - that's not true,''
At that moment Nick can't help but imagine Matt laying on the chilled slab of concrete. The lithe form he knows so well as his brothers crumpled. Crimson blood seeping endlessly, trickling from Matt's nose, and numerous other places as sapphire-blue eyes fade. Unfortunately, Nicolas conjures up the image of Nick's own self sagging over the kid, cradling his own baby brother's form. His baby brother that had never gotten to actually be a child or a teen, always riddled with anxiety. And forced to grow up far too soon. In his mind he sees Chris crying, body heaving under the weight of those sobs. He sees not only himself but Chris screaming as Matt's expression goes slack. As Matt dies. In front of him - for him.
'He could've died' Chris had said. And he sees it now, sees the extremity of the situation. Envisions the possibility of it happening.
Nick thinks back on it, and imagines a life without his brother. To everyone else, the sun keeps shining, life goes on and people keep laughing around him. Joyful and lively. But Nicolas Sturniolo doesn't do any of that, he just keeps standing there. Interchangeably stuck in a world that his baby brother is not in. It's horrid in itself. Even just as a thought.
''Matt hadn't been trying to hurt you. He wasn't messing around either, he'd been the one to save you, dude,'' Chris admits. ''Without him, you'd be as good as road kill, I tried. I couldn't -
I wouldn't have made it in time,''
His brother had saved him, saved him from getting annihilated by a car. To which he kindly repaid the other by yelling. And okay, Nick can safely admit that yeah In hindsight this was bad. Really bad.
It wasn't the shouting that was bad, it was what had carelessly been spoken allowed. He'd told Matt that all Matt did was hurt people. Convinced his brother that the kid was a goof, a literal screw-up. When all Matt had been doing was looking out for him.
He'd very well hurt the kid's feelings. Again. All because he hadn't given Matt the time to explain. Too recklessly fueled on rage.
But perhaps the worst of it all was that Matt had just taken it. Allowed the mistreatment and shouldered the weight it held. Like Matt didn't believe himself to be good enough to defend.
That was fucked up to think about, Nick was a shitty person. Even more, he was a royal fuck up of a brother.
And this wasn't just a simple blunder of his that he could slap a bandaid on and call it fine. No, this entire situation was completely and extremely wrecked.
''Oh, shit,''
Nicolas stopped. Bent over, placing his palms on his knees, feeling the urge to vomit everything he'd eaten earlier that day. What the fuck had he done?
______
They don't find Matt where they'd last been all together, Matthew's not anywhere near the trails they'd been set on walking. They don't find Matt anywhere. His brother misses each frantic call, and concerningly enough doesn't read any of their messages. To top things off Matt's location is inconveniently off on their Life 360. He and Chris have got nothing to go off of when it comes to finding Matt.
Nick is sick with guilt and shame. When Nick's phone finally does ring it gets his hopes up,
''Hello, who's this?''
''Hello - yes is this Nicolas Sturniolo that I'm speaking with?''
Nicolas straightened,
''Uh, yes it is - and this is?''
''Okay great,'' The amiable voice begins. Providing little to no explanation. However, Nick does take note of the fact that the voice seems to belong to a woman. ''I'm sorry if I've disturbed you any. Seeing as I know that it's getting kind of late. We were actually calling from the E.R on account of Matthew Sturniolo,''
Matthew. His brother, Matt was - at the hospital?
Huh, had he heard that right? The E.R. and his brother in the same sentence? No, he couldn't have. Matt had been fine. He needed Matt to be fine.
Testily Nick chances a single glance at his phone, hoping this is some sort of fucked up prank. A fan messing with them or... or something. Sure enough, it isn't, the hospital's private number glares back at him. His eyes widen comically before his head jerks in realization. Matt. The hospital, right.
Abruptly Nick finds himself yanking his phone closer to his ear.
''Wait, hold on a moment - what?''
Nick's mind is left spinning. After all, for the younger to be in the hospital things meant that things had to be bad. Real bad. Matt hated hospitals, never liked being in them. Up until now, Nicolas hadn't even known his brother did hospitals with the way Matt downright refused to usually go to them. It had to be bad for his brother to be in one.
"Matthew Bernard Sturniolo? Does the name sound familiar by any chance? It's just that you're the only emergency contact he has listed down. Other than a Christopher Sturniolo, that we could try contacting,''
The woman's voice didn't necessarily go unheard to him. However, it sounded more like static, less intelligible than it should.
''Mr. Sturniolo can you hear me? Hello, sir are you still there?''
Stupor momentarily broken Nick shakes his head before ultimately abandoning the gesture. Feeling foolish upon realizing that the woman obviously needed a vocalized reply. And couldn't see him.
''Yes, I mean yeah, I am. I'm still here,'' Nick confirmed stalely. ''I'm sorry, got distracted. It won't happen again. But to answer your question I do know him. He and Chris are my brothers,''
''You're quite alright! I'm just glad that we were able to get ahold of you then. We were nearly at a loss of what to do. Considering the fact that your brother was rather against calling you or anyone for that matter,''
Oh, Nick could believe it. That had to be a classic Matt move if he ever knew one. He spoke on the phone with the woman for a little while longer. And then the instant that was over with
- he and Chris were rushing for the hospital.
_____
Matt's mind felt strange, hazy. His hearing picked up the way machines whirred and sounded around him. Matthew Sturniolo had been in more than enough hospitals to memorize the noises that came with them. He knew where he was, just didn't know why.
Matt's eyes snapped open, then he blinked a few times - eyes feeling filmy. Body instinctively jerking up as consciousness graced him. The IV in his arm tugged at the motion. Prickling his skin with the inklings of pain. What.
What was going on?
Spluttering Matt choked, feeling something lodged in his throat. Panicked and feeling unable to breathe he went to dislodge whatever it was that was down his throat. Gentle hands grappled with his wrists. Tugging them away from the apparent tube in his throat.
''Thank god you're up, Matty,'' Chris emitted softly. ''Hold on, listen, Matt, don't try to speak just yet,''
His brother's voice was a comfort he didn't know he needed. Before long, Chris had managed to call over someone to assist him. The doctor came over to him, bracing him for the tube to be taken out.
''One, Two...''
On the count of three he felt as the tube was removed, Matt inhaled deeply. Finally feeling like he could breathe,
''Hey, that any better?'' Chris questioned, Doing nothing more Matt blinked at his brother, then spoke. Voice gravely from disuse.
''How -''
How long was I out?
''A few days, that' what you were gonna' ask?'' Matt nods. ''Okay, then the answer is that you were out for fucking days, you were up once sometime before we'd gotten here. And then you were just out, you barely woke. They said it was something to do with adrenaline, that your body was recovering, and whatnot but I mean fuck Matty, you scared me to death,''
Matt was surprised, his eyes going wide at the implication.
''That's not,'' Not true? There was no way he'd been hurt that badly. ''No, there's no way. I don't
- I don't understand..''
"What's not to understand? It's a wonder that you weren't out for longer. The car grazed you on your right side, guess It was enough to fracture your right hand, and the impact nearly cracked your skull. God, Matt your lucky it didn't. Anyway, you cracked your rib when you hit the ground," Chris swallowed. "You're lucky it didn't pierce through your lung I guess,''
Matt was stunned. All he could do was watch Chris sit back in the younger's chair, leaning his head into his right palm and rubbing his eyes. It was then he noticed how haggard the younger looked. Deep bags under bloodshot eyes. His brother looked one second away from passing out.
"Ok, but you and Nick,'' Matt says the name simply, ''You all okay?"
Chris scowled.
"I tell you how you almost died and the first thing you ask is how Nick and me are doing?" His brother growled, sometimes Chris swore Matt was going to be the death of him. "He's scared shitless to put things lightly. Hasn't stopped checking up on you. I was terrified, but otherwise, he's fine, Kid,"
''Good, I'm glad,'' Matt said, voice fading into a sleepy thrum. Slurring slightly. ''When Nicky's not bein' an asshole an' telling me to f'ck off .. -
he isn't half bad,''
Matt muttered sleepily.
''What kinda stuff do they have you on, Matty?'' Chris chuckled. Breaching past the ongrowing concern. ''I'm sure he'd be thrilled to hear you say that regardless of how loopy you are right now,''
That has Matt hanging onto the shreds of coherency he has. Rubbing at his eyes and hoping it'll make him less tired, Matt begins talking again.
''Uh huh, Chris, can I ask you something?''
''Anything,''
''What're you.. I mean what do you think Nick's doing here? Like what'd you think he's really doing here?''
''What do you mean?''
''You said that Nick was alright so I - I know he's not here for himself,''
''...Yeah, that's because he's here for you,''
Matt snickers,
''He told me to fuck off and to only come home when I was sure I wasn't going to get anyone killed. I'm highly sure he's not here for me, Chris,'' Matt responded dryly. ''That's just my guess though,''
Chris's heart chipped at the certainty in Matt's voice.
''Matt, you don't mean that -''
''I do,''
Exhaling heavily, Chris thinks. Chris needed Nick, this was beyond anything Chris himself could fix. Matt watched as his brother glanced at him, getting up from the confines of the hospital chair.
''Look, man, I hate to do this but I need to - I uh, I'll be back,''
Of course.
Right before his brother left Chris stilled at the door, fingers grasping the handle.
''Oh, and uh, Matty?''
''Huh?''
''Never do anything like that again,''
And then Chris's gone, walking out of the hospital room and into the corridor. Matt smiles slightly to himself despite the absence.
______
Unsurprisingly, It's not Chris who Matt sees next, it's Nick. A few minutes after Chris had left the room a sullen blonde appears in the younger's place. Truthfully, as Matt looks up from his blanketed lap in favor of gazing at his brother. He doesn't know what to feel.
A fight, no matter how bad - doesn't just suddenly absorb the love he has for his brother, it doesn't destroy the enjoyment he feels at seeing the other. It just dulls it, clouds it with the hurt he still felt at the others words.
''Hey,'' Nick says, voice soft and reverent as though the others suddenly scared of raising it. eyes shifty in a way Nicolas's never are.
Nick glances at him, eyes fleeting across his face questioningly. Expression uncharacteristically serious, Matt answers back, being cagey and short with his replies.
''Hi,''
Nicolas hums, sitting in the plastic guest chair a few feet away from him. The first word that comes to mind when he thinks of those is uncomfortable. Matt thinks that Nick must still know that sitting beside him on the hospital bed was always a choice. He thinks Nick knows that too, that Nicolas is only giving him space because it's what the other thinks he wants. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't - even Matt himself isn't certain.
''You think we could do this a little less?'' Nick quipped. ''Being here, I mean. Like haven't you landed yourself in the hospital enough as is, kid?''
His brother's face falls slightly when he doesn't answer, Matt hangs his head at the reaction. Half-heartedly Nicolas forces out a snort, only it doesn't sound amused. It manages to sound self-deprecating.
''What, not funny?'' Nick asks,
''Not that,'' He responds instead, Matt doesn't even know why he's speaking. Especially when there's still bitterness ringing at his gut.
''Then what?'' Nick sat there, leaning forward in the seat, rooted to the spot beside his hospital bed.
''Honestly, If it's that much of a bother then you don't have to be here, Nick,'' Matt derides. ''No one's forcing you to be here, except Chris maybe,''
A morsel of guilt flashes in the elder's eyes,
''I want to be here,'' Nick contends. ''You know that I don't do anything I don't want to,''
''Could of fooled me,''
''Matt,''
''You could just wait till I can come home, you'll see me there. Hopefully, by then, I won't be an asshole or getting people killed. But you'd know that it's what I'm best at apparently,''
Nick winces at the passive aggressiveness. Sobers from the shock it brings quick, he has to give the elder some credit for just how quickly it's done.
''I shouldn't of said that, okay? Point taken,''
And now Matt's just hurt, the admittance doesn't help the way he thought it would.
''But you did,'' Matt presses,
''I know, and it was shitty, I'm real sorry, for all of it,''
Silence unfolds.
''After everything Chris said a few things, most of which about me being a dumbass,'' Nick admits, Matt smirked. ''Others about how I freaked without understanding anything,''
''Yeah,''
''So you weren't...'' Nick trails off.
Matt comprehends, understands what Nick doesn't say. Nonetheless, he groans at his brother's stupidity. Stupid isn't normally a word he'd used to describe Nick Sturniolo. Now though? Now it fits.
''Don't be an idiot, no, of course not, I wasn't trying to hurt you,'' Matt sighs. ''I just - I saw the car headed toward you, you didn't. And I got scared, that's all. Wasn't just tackling you to be an asshole, okay? I can promise you that. This wasn't exactly fun for me either,''
Nick eyes him from where he lies in the hospital bed. Regret only worsening.
''God, the way I reacted, I'm so sorry - ...''
Matt starts talking. Trying to voice some form of a reply even when it's clear to him Nick isn't listening.
''You aren't even listening to me are you?''
''Yeah, wait, I mean no, I didn't catch what you were saying,''
Matt gives an unimpressed look.
''It's not that I'm trying to ignore you. I'm just a bit shocked about all of it I guess - I don't know how I got it all so wrong,'' Nicolas gripes. ''I mean it, I'm sorry about earlier,''
Matthew doesn't know if he can acknowledge the apology just yet. So he doesn't.
''Matty, come on, Bubba, you can be upset with me all you want. But at least look at me,''
Matt's eyes widen, he doesn't even remember the last time he'd heard Nick call him that. Nick only did it now on rare occasion. Maybe it's what has him responding.
''I know you are. But I just can't fully let it go until I know...''
''Know what?''
Taking a deep breath, he goes on.
''Everything that happened before now has been on my mind, Nick. What you said back there,'' Matt initiates, physically pained reflecting on the events that landed them here. ''About me only hurting people, did you legitimately mean it?''
Nick tenses at the question, eyes genuine.
''I could never mean anything I said,'' Eventually, Nick promises. ''I screwed up, more than I can make up for. I mean holy shit, you nearly got yourself killed over me, if anything your too selfless for your own good, kid,''
Matt waited to respond.
''I'm the one that crossed the line with everything that was said and done back there, Matty. That's my fault, not yours. You haven't hurt anyone, I could never think of you as a screw-up, you're a goof definitely not a screw-up though,''
Nick's quivering lips and saddened expression breaks out into an attempt at a smile.
''And sweetheart, I most definitely do not want you to fuck off,'' His brother tacks on, ''Let me make that loud and clear in case I haven't already,''
''Good, I heard you, kid and I'm glad. Because I don't plan on it,'' Matt admitted, before sliding over on the bed to make room for Nicolas. Gesturing toward the open spot beside him. ''Now get up here, Nicky,''
Without hesitation, his brother does just that. Sliding into the place that Matt made for the elder and unconsciously burrowing Matt closer to the others form. Matt lets it happen, says nothing as Nick makes up for the lost touches between them, as his brother reassuringly runs fingers along his skin, his brunette curls. Gentle soothing movements going through Matt's hair. To make matters even better Chris comes into the hospital room. Deciding that they'd had enough time to make up - the younger joined in.
They'd be okay, Matt knows they aren't just yet but they would be. They are the Sturniolos after all, they had to be.
________