Yu's POV:
It's three o'clock in the morning, and I haven't slept at all.
Because all I can see is Dojima, the knife, and my bloodied hands. Dojima, knife, hands.
It's such a vivid memory and it plays on repeat in my mind.
My brain just won't shut off.
It's almost like I can still feel it. The weight of the knife in my palms, the blood stuck to my hands.
I have to double-check to make sure it's not reality.
I look over to Yosuke.
He's out like a light.
...He didn't have to stay, but... I'm glad he did. I mean, of course I am, but... I don't want him to see me like this. He wouldn't understand.
I shake my head, checking my cell.
JunezPrince2000: sry cant tlk
2nite
JunezPrince2000: sum1 needs me
JunezPrince2000: ttyl
I clutch the phone in my hands.
He... really choose me over Yuna?
My body warms a little. I must mean something to him, right?
I feel dirty; sitting over here, pretending to be the girl he likes.
But he can't like her that much. Not if... I'm his top priority.
I smile at myself, and then the flashing comes.
Dojima, the knife, my bloodied hands.
My heart thuds against my ribcage, and the entire room goes silent.
Fuck...
I jump out of the futon, running to the bathroom.
~~~
I quickly splash my face with the icy water, just wishing it'll all go again.
I wash it again and again, until I genuinely feel fresh.
And then I stare at myself in the mirror.
How could I do that to him?
How could I hurt my own uncle?
He took me in. I wouldn't say he liked me all that much, but... He's still my uncle.
And I've sent him to hospital. I'm in his house, enjoying his luxuries. It doesn't feel right.
Poor Nanako, too...
How is she supposed to forgive me now?
...I wish I never stole the files in the first place. Back in June, things were different. I felt love. I loved my uncle, even if he didn't feel the same. I was grateful to him, but... I always had a soft spot for Yosuke. ...And that's what lead to the mistrust.
I swallow hard.
I was blinded by Yosuke.
But I'm not, now.
He knows, now, whether he likes it or not. He knows I like guys. He found out about me and Kanji, and... Ha... Maybe he even knows I like him, too.
Though, I doubt he'd still be here if he knew.
I did something stupid for him. But I know I'd do it again. Just to feel worthy.
I pick at the skin on my lip.
Only, if I had the chance to do it all again... I wouldn't be so secretive. Everything would be out in the open; there would be no betrayal.
To Yosuke, and to Dojima.
~~~
I head back into the room, watching as he shuffles gently beneath his blanket.
It takes everything in me not to reach out to him.
I swallow hard, creaking the floorboards, making my way over to my futon.
"Yu?"
"Yes?" I snap my head back around to him.
He rubs his eyes. "You good, man?"
"...Of course."
"There somethin' you wanna say?"
"What?" I splutter.
"How long were you starin' at me for?" He runs his hands through his hair, yawning.
"Not long," I say quietly.
"So, what is it?"
I hold my breath. "Can I hold you?"
"Huh?" He cranes his neck around to look at me.
I try my best not to break eye contact.
"...Wouldn't it make more sense if I held you?" He asks.
I blink, my ribcage ready to crack.
No way he just asked that... He must be half asleep...
He shuffles backward on the couch, making room for me.
I take the hint.
As difficult as it is, we both settle ourselves down on the sofa.
His eyes are closed, but mine are open.
I don't think this was a good idea.
Because all I'll do is freak out and hyperventilate again. I can't treat this as 'friends being friends'.
I try to move a little, hearing him groan as my knee hits his groin.
Of course, he's hard.
Though he doesn't seem to be moving all that much. Either he's embarrassed, or he can simply withstand it.
I bet I ruined that dream for him.
Like I ruin everything else.
~~~
Yosuke's POV:
Not gonna lie, I'm kinda upset Yu woke me up.
He took me away from my mystery girl. Different to his, of course, because mine is actually a girl.
I can't remember much. She had a black mask over her face and giggled all sexy like and was kissing me and touching me and-
Okay, enough of that.
I'd like to pretend it was my subconscious version of Yuna. That'd be... pretty cool.
...But I'm here for Yu.
I don't know why I blurted out what I did.
He's been awake all night, I know.
I didn't want to say anything; I always thought he might... calm down a little.
Was this all he needed? All he needed was... me?
Oh, fuck...
I hope he doesn't think I'm hard over him.
Shit.
Please, don't, man... Don't make this awkward...
He doesn't say anything. I presume he's embarrassed, too. Or... embarrassed of me, rather.
I sigh, pulling my arms around his shoulders carefully.
I don't mean to make this awkward, but it sure as hell feels it.
I can hear his short breaths, like he wants to say something, but he can't.
I sigh. "Uh, thanks, man."
"What?" He asks.
"Y'know, not jerking off while I was asleep," I chuckle.
He doesn't find it amusing.
"U-uh..." I cough. "Y'know. Sorry 'bout that."
"...What you do is none of my business, Yosuke."
Other than it is.
'Cause you fucking love me, you jerk!
"Thank you for being here," he mumbles.
"...Of course, man," I nod.
"Did you mean it?" He mutters. "Before. When you said we were... friends again."
"...Yeah, man," I say, my voice cracking.
He clearly notices it, because his voice gets quieter.
"Did you mean it when you said I meant a lot to you, too?"
"Yeah," I mumble. " Of course, man. You're my best friend."
And emphasis on the 'friend'...
"...Even after everything?"
"Huh?"
"Ignoring you, wanting to leave... kissing you—"
"All of that is past tense," I say sternly.
"I just can't stay away from you," he whispers.
I don't respond. I mean, how the fuck can I!?
My heart is racing a million miles an hour, and he fucking knows it.
Oh... Oh.
"...Just get some rest," I grunt.
I try to move away, but I can't. My own body won't allow me to be without his warmth. I'm stuck, I guess.
"It'll always be you and me in the end. Right, Yosuke?"
I ignore him, pretending to already have fallen asleep.
He sighs softly. "You mean the whole world to me, too."
...What?
~~~
Yu's POV:
I sleep reasonably well in his arms. He provides a sense of protection, I suppose. I think that's all I ever wanted.
The doorbell suddenly rings, and he shuffles himself off me quickly, as if pretending he didn't sleep like that.
"Yu..." He grumbles, wiping his eyes.
"...Yeah?"
"Go... get it," he yawns.
"But—"
The doorbell rings again.
"Now, man," he groans.
"I just want to—"
"Fucking hell, go answer the damn door," he snaps.
I nod slowly, jumping at his reaction.
I get off the couch, watching as he settles back into the space I had been.
"...Yosuke?"
He doesn't respond.
Okay.
~~~
I open the door, the sunshine blinding me.
"Yu Narukami?"
"Yes, that's me." I blink away the light, revealing a police officer.
"I would like you to accompany me to the station."
~~~
Yosuke's POV:
I hear the door open, but I don't hear much else.
And what does he mean, I mean the whole world to him, too?
I never said that to him.
...Probably something he imagined.
I swallow hard.
I keep hoping that he's getting over his little... 'crush', but... Maybe he's not the only one who can't stay away.
I keep teasing and taunting him. How can he not be drawn in? I mean... Seriously, sleeping beside him last night was...
It's not like we haven't done it before. But last night... I knew. I did know, but... It just felt normal, I guess. Like any other time.
I sit up, rubbing my eyes.
I really gotta confront him about this sometime.
~~~
I head down the stairs, not being able to believe my ears.
"I would like you to accompany me to the station."
"What?" I scoff, coming to Yu's side.
"Yosuke," he breathes.
"We just need a statement, is all," the officer shrugs.
"...Didn't Adachi-san tell you what happened?" Yu swallows hard.
"We need your story, too."
"I-It was an accident—"
"We just need to put everything together."
"...I'm coming, too," I pipe up.
"What?" Yu splutters, turning to me.
"With all due respect, you were not at the scene of the incident, were you? Your name was not mentioned."
"I can wait outside," I scoff.
"You don't have to do this," Yu whispers.
"You've done nothing wrong," I say. "I just want to come for company."
He smiles softly and I feel all weird again.
Like some sort of tingle.
Just for a second, though. Weird circumstances, and all that.
~~~
Yu's POV:
We sit in the back of the police car, not daring to say a word.
That's when I get the idea of messaging him.
Yuna18: Good morning.
I hear his phone ping, and I watch him reach for it out of the corner of my eye.
JunezPrince2000: hey
Yuna18: Sleep well?
JunezPrince2000: had a dream
abt u
My heart rate picks up.
Yuna18: What?
JunezPrince2000: sry
JunezPrince2000: not important
Totally not obvious, Yosuke.
Yuna18: I'm still in bed.
Yuna18: How about you?
JunezPrince2000: cant rly talk rn
Yuna18: Why not?
JunezPrince2000: stuff
My heart drops at his bluntness.
Yuna18: Have I upset you?
JunezPrince2000: huh
Yuna18: I can send you pictures,
if you'd like.
And where would we get those from, genius?
JunezPrince2000: dude im
not interested in ur pics
Did he just... 'dude' me?
JunezPrince2000: i cant tlk rn
cause i hav better things 2 do
Yuna18: Like what?
JunezPrince2000: holy shit
JunezPrince2000: its non of
ur fuckin business
I look over to him, watching him shake in rage.
...What happened?
Yuna18: I'm sorry.
JunezPrince2000: i cant think
str8 n ur not helping
Yuna18: I didn't know I was
such a burden to you.
JunezPrince2000: stop feelin
sorry for urself
JunezPrince2000: get a grip
For some reason, my own blood boils.
Yuna18: Who do you think
you're speaking to?
JunezPrince2000: take a wild
fuckin guess
"We're here," the driver says, getting out the car.
Yosuke and I put our phones away without a word to each other, heading into the station.
~~~
"...Are you okay?" I ask softly.
I don't want to piss him off even more, but...
He turns to look at me, eyes soft. "I'm sorry."
"What are you sorry for?"
I watch him resist the temptation to hug me. So I do it for him.
"I'm sorry I couldn't protect you."
"...What?" I whisper.
He digs his fingernails into my back. "Yu, he coulda—"
"But he didn't," I breathe. I try to back out, but he won't let me. I can't be mad.
"I can't live without you."
My breathing comes to a halt. The whole world stops, and all I can hear are his sobs. My heart aches.
What does that even mean?
"Yosuke..." I sigh.
"... Sorry," he mumbles again, pulling back to wipe his eyes. "Shit, man. Sorry." He clears his throat, looking away.
Is that why he was so upset at Yuna? He wasn't actually mad at her, but... He was mad at himself? Blaming himself? For not being here?
I feel conflicted.
He put me before her, but... I can't bear it when he's upset. It hurts me.
"There was nothing you could have done," I say simply.
"If I wasn't so focused on her, I coulda been there for you! All the time!"
I inhale sharply. "Go talk to her."
"What?" He scoffs. "It's her fault in the first place!"
"The only thing she's guilty of is loving you."
He blinks. "Huh?"
That didn't mean to slip out, but it has certainly calmed him down.
"But, what about you?" He mutters.
"Don't worry about me."
His nostrils flare. "Saying that only makes me—!"
"Narukami-kun?" An officer calls. "We're ready when you are."
I nod, turning to Yosuke. "I won't be long."
"Just tell them the truth," he shakes his head. "Tell them what that bastard tried to do."
I nod slowly. "Yeah."
To put your mind at rest.
~~~
Yosuke's POV:
I don't know what's wrong with me.
Being around him gives me the urge to just... reach out. To touch him, to hold him; to prove that I'm the bigger man.
But it's wrong.
He'll start thinking that I like him, too.
And I swear on my life, I don't.
I don't know why I'm so upset. It's not my fault; I know that.
It's not Yuna's, either.
I sigh.
He's just so damn gentle.
Anytime he holds me, it's like... I don't know. He thinks I'm some sort of chick he needs to protect. But I'm not.
Is it because he's gay? Or... is he always just like that?
At this point, I can't seem to tell the difference.
He's soft. Caring, loving.
Touching him reminds me that I have a purpose. I'm not in his shadow; I am real.
...And it doesn't feel all that weird anymore.
It makes me feel... good.
Not in a weird way, of course. Just... knowing he has my back. It's nice. It's... everything I ever wanted.
I just wish he didn't like me like that.
Then I wouldn't have to try and figure out if his words have hidden meanings behind them. I wouldn't have to worry about him misreading the situation, like he's done before.
Dad's right. Our bond is special. I just really don't want him to break it.
I sit myself down, pulling out my cell.
JunezPrince2000: hey
JunezPrince2000: sry 4 bein
a dick
JunezPrince2000: not on u
I tap my foot, waiting for a reply, but nothing comes. Is she mad?
JunezPrince2000: yu needs me
JunezPrince2000: im sry
JunezPrince2000: i gotta
focus on him rn
JunezPrince2000: please dont
go
~~~
Yu's POV:
"What exactly happened last night?"
I clasp my hands together on the table in front of me, my eyes darting from the cop to the clock behind him.
"...I understand this is difficult for you," he sighs. "But—"
"It all happened so fast," I mutter.
He shuts his mouth.
"I- I was preparing dinner, when he came in. He was mad. He started yelling at me, accusing me of stealing his files."
"...And did you?"
"No!" I snap. "I- I wouldn't even know how to!"
"...Did he mention what files these were, exactly?"
"No," I groan.
"Apologies," he coughs. "Continue."
"He just sort of... Ran at me," I shrug. "He held onto my neck. Squeezing it tight. So I stabbed him."
"I see." He looks down to some notes. "And where exactly was Tohru Adachi at this time?"
"What?" I splutter.
"He was there, wasn't he?" He asks. "We have his statement."
I bite my lip. "Y-Yeah."
"So?" He scoffs. "What was his involvement? Why didn't he help you?"
"I- I was making dinner for all of us," I say. "When Dojima-san came in, Adachi-san ran to protect Nanako."
"Nanako-chan?" He raises an eyebrow.
"Y-Yeah?"
"...How old is she, again?"
"Uh... Six, why?"
He scribbles down a few things on his notepad.
"...What are you doing?" I mumble.
"Nothing." He quickly tears it off, shoving the paper in his pocket. "Thank you for your time."
~~~
Yosuke's POV:
Yu never said a word on the drive home. Similarly enough, he's still not speaking when we get to his driveway.
"...Is everything okay?" I hesitate to ask.
He pauses, keys dangling in his hands. "I think I messed up."
"...Yu," I sigh, putting a hand on his shoulder.
"...They're gonna take Nanako away, aren't they?"
"H-Hey, what are you talking about?"
"I should have just stayed quiet," he grunts. "I should have kept my nose out of this."
"And you'd be in hospital, if not worse," I snap.
"She's just a kid."
"And you're innocent."
I poke a finger in his chest.
"They're gonna separate us."
I breathe out. "Maybe, Yu."
"I need her," he whispers. "And she needs me."
"Everything will be okay, man..." I coo, rubbing his back softly.
We hear the engine of a car stop behind us. We both turn.
"...What are you doing here?" Yu mutters.
"...I've come to help you pack," Adachi shrugs.
"What?"
"You and Nanako-chan are staying with me for a little while."
"Woah, what?" I splutter.
"B-But—" Yu tries.
"I've cleared it all, don't worry," he chuckles. "Just until Dojima-san is stable enough to tell his side of the story."
"...Thank you," Yu whispers.
"But, you can stay with me," I scoff.
"Yosuke," he smiles a little. "I think Teddie is enough for you."
"The... dumb bear can find somewhere else to sleep," I snap. "You and Nanako-chan are more important."
"Listen, Hanamura, I get that you're worried about him, but—"
"Keep your nose outta this, Adachi."
"Hey," Yu says softly.
"Mom won't mind," I shrug. "Honest. You know Dad adores you."
"Listen," Adachi groans. "It's either me, or their relatives in Kyoto. That's what the police decided on."
"H-He can't leave!" I splutter.
"So, then he stays with me," Adachi shrugs.
"Thank you," Yu nods.
I bite my lip.
What is Adachi's deal, anyway?
Skeevy bastard.
~~~
Yu's POV:
"They found his files, by the way."
"What?" I readjust my seatbelt to face him.
"On his desk the entire time," he scoffs. "Poor bastard musta been wasted."
"He didn't seem it," I shrug. "Hungover, sure, but..." I look back out the window. "He wasn't drunk."
"Well, he couldn't see them, so he started a riot. That's what happened."
"All of this could have been avoided," I whisper. "He could be fine!"
"What happened, happened," he sighs. "And I'm not saying it should have, but..."
"...Are they going to send me to jail?"
He hesitates for a moment. "We've given them our statements. We just have to wait."
"And you lied."
"I was trying to help you."
"If they find out you're lying, they're gonna have a reason to suspect me."
"For crying out loud, Narukami, they're not gonna find out," he scoffs.
I close my eyes.
"We're almost there. We'll take this load outta the car and then go back for Nanako-chan."
"Yeah."
"...Invite Hanamura around, if you want."
"Nah. That's okay."
"You sure?"
"I just need some time to think."
~~~
thanks for reading:)
word count: 3197