Over the next few days I'm seeing a counsellor once a day for 2 hours. She's not really helping me that much.
Sarah: what I suggest, to help you, is to talk through what happened with Leah. You both need that. She wants to help, but you need to be honest with her okay?
Maddie: okay. Thanks Sarah.
I go home after the session, Leah is making lunch and Bruno is out in the garden.
Leah: hey how was it today?
Maddie: erm she told me to tell you the whole story of what happened.
Leah: sh-she did? Do you feel comfortable with that?
Maddie: I think so.
Leah: okay, let's eat first okay?
I just nod and sit down on my phone.
After we have eaten Leah and I are laid in bed, I'm cuddled into her telling her what happened.
Maddie: and then you came into the bathroom. I heard you, I tried to scream but he held his hand over my mouth so I couldn't do anything. I wanted to scream so badly.
Leah: h-he it was happening to you when I came looking for you?
I just nod.
Leah: ba-babe if I'd have known I would have kicked the living shit out of him.
Maddie: I know baby, I know.
I tell her the rest of the story, Leah has tears in her eyes at this point.
Leah: babe.
Maddie: I shouldn't have told you.
Leah: no baby you did right by telling me. I just wish I could have stopped it.
Maddie: no one could have stopped him. Not even the great Leah Williamson.
Leah: I could have tried.
Maddie: baby please don't do that to yourself.
Leah: have you told your dad?
I shake my head.
Leah: babe I think you should.
Maddie: no, I don't want him to know, I don't want anyone to know.
Leah: baby.
Maddie: no.
Leah: okay, okay. Just talk to me though okay? I'm here for you, always.
Maddie: I know you are my love. Now enough soppy shit, can we take Bruno for a walk?
Leah: of course.
Leah and I take Bruno for a walk, we start training again tomorrow, I can't wait to put the last two weeks behind me and start working again.
Leah's instagram post:
@leahwilliamsonn: I love you my girl, keep smiling💫🤍
Comments:
@bethmead: simp.
@stephcatley: favourite couple🤍
@leahwilliamsonfan: what's going on? Is she okay?
@MO12fan: has something bad happened?!
^@LW1fan: I've heard she got raped.
I look at that comment. I freeze up. How do they know? Leah runs down the stairs.
Leah: baby.
I look at her.
Leah: there's an article.
I burst into tears. How do people know? I thought I could just forget about it all, without everyone knowing.
Leah hugs me instantly.
Maddie: I hate it all.
I start getting calls and texts from my family. My mum and dad most of all.
Dad👨👧🫶🏻
Sweetheart, what happened?
Please pick up.
I love you x
Mum🤍💫
Darling? Please talk to us xx
We love you, we just want to know you're okay xx
Gem 💎
Mads. Please tell me it's not true. I love you. Call me when you can please, I need to know you're okay xx
JJ🤪
Maddie.
Mads.
I love you x
Leah: baby. You should call them
Maddie: I can't face it
Leah: you can. I promise you, they just want to know you're okay.
I call my dad.
Michael: sweetheart. Are you okay? What can we do?
Maddie: you can't do anything, it's everywhere.
Michael: what happened?
Maddie: I I don't want to talk about it.
Leah holds my hand.
Michael: darling. Please, what can we do?
Maddie: hug me?
Michael: we are on our way.
Maddie: thank you.
Louise: we love you sweetheart. So so much.
Maddie: I love you both too.
Michael: we will be there soon, okay?
Maddie: yeah okay.
The call ends and Leah holds me close whilst I cry a little.
Leah: it's going to be okay baby. I promise you.
Maddie: mhm, can I read it?
Leah: read what?
Maddie: the article.
Leah: I don't think that's the best idea babe.
Maddie: please.
Leah: okay.
I take Leah's phone and start reading the article.
ARSENALS STAR STRIKER RAPED ON NIGHT OUT.
Maddie Owen, 26, was seen on a night out with many Arsenal stars at the weekend. Owen, daughter of star Michael Owen, was pushed into the ladies toilets of a club in London and raped by a Spurs staff member.
Maddie: wh-what?
Leah: what babe?
Maddie: he wa-was a spurs staff member.
Leah's phone starts to ring. She stands up and goes to the garden.
Leah's POV:
I answer my phone.
Jonas: Leah.
Leah: yeah, hi, can I call you back?
Jonas: no, is she okay? What can we do?
Leah: space Jonas, she needs space.
Jonas: tell her she can ring me anytime. The girls are all here and worried.
Leah: can you tell them not to mention it?
Jonas: of course.
Leah: thanks, see you tomorrow.
I go back inside and Maddie is sat on the sofa.
Maddie: how's Jonas?
Leah: asking how you are.
Maddie: does everyone hate me?
Leah: no baby, everyone is worried about you.
Maddie: really?
Leah: yeah, everyone loves you, they just want you to be okay
Maddie: I'll be okay.
Leah: I know you will.
An hour or so later Louise and Michael walk in. They both embrace Maddie with a hug. I leave them alone for a bit so they can talk. I go upstairs and Beth calls me.
Beth: Leah
Leah: hey Beth
Beth: ho-how is she?
Leah: erm I don't really know, she's been crying for a while. Her parents are with her now.
Beth: what can we do?
Leah: not a lot to be honest Beth, just don't let anyone mention it tomorrow.
Beth; she's coming to training?
Leah: yeah, she wants to get her mind off it.
Beth: okay, just tell her we love her.
Leah: she knows Beth, don't worry.
Beth: okay, I'll see you both tomorrow
Leah: yeah see you tomorrow.
The call ends, I have so many text messages about Maddie but I can't respond to them. I don't have the energy to reply to them all, just the important ones.
Maddies POV:
Michael: sweetheart, we need to do something.
Maddie: no, I don't want to
Michael: darling we have to, I can't let him get away with it.
Louise: Mike that's not our decision.
Michael: I can't just sit back and forget about this
Louise: we are going to have to Mike, she doesn't want to do anything.
Dad sighs quite loudly but accepts that I don't want to do anything.
Michael: I love you sweetheart.
He pulls me into a hug.
Over the next few days I'm pretending no one knows. But I know everyone knows. I'm training, I'm pushing myself to use this as a driving force to get Arsenal the WSL title.
It's now the end of January . The rest of the season is well under way. Today we play Spurs at the emirates. One of the biggest games for us, our north London rivals. We are all on the coach travelling to the stadium. I'm sat next to Steph.
Steph: so how are you?
Maddie: I'm good, I'm excited for this game, it's going to be fun.
Steph: yeah it will, but I meant , how are you?
Maddie: I'm okay, getting there
Steph: if you ever need to talk then I'm here okay?
Maddie: thank you Steph.
Steph: anytime
We get to the stadium and onto the pitch to warm up. I feel good. I feel like this game is going to go so well.
We line up in the tunnel ready to walk out onto the pitch surrounded by a full Emirates stadium.
Leah grabs my hand.
Leah: you got this babe.
I squeeze it and smile at her.
Maddie: I love you
Leah: I love you too.
We walk out to North London Forever. It's giving me goosebumps whilst I walk out. Leah is captain today so I'm stood at the other end of the line to her. I look over at the spurs bench. He's here.
I start shaking. I thought he was part of the men's team. Not the women's. He's not looking at me but I can't stop looking at him.
We get ready for kick off. My mind is in another world right now. Less looks at me and gives me a nod. I nod back and the whistle blows.
I'm running and running and running. I haven't stopped through this first half. I've scored 2 goals but haven't celebrated them. We are heading inside and Leah grabs my arm and I jump.
Leah: hey hey what's wrong?
Maddie: nothing
Leah: baby.
Maddie: he's here
Leah: where?
Maddie: I'm not saying anything. I just want this match to be over with so we can go home.
Leah: baby.
Maddie: no I don't want to talk about it right now.
I walk off into the changing room before Leah can say anything else.
Jonas is about to start talking when Leah walks in. She sits next to me and holds my hand. I'm glad she's not talking about him anymore.
We head out onto the pitch for the second half. We are 2-0 up at the moment which is what I hoped for. It's the 63rd minute and I have the ball at my feet dancing round all the defenders. I shoot and the ball goes into the top corner. A hattrick. In the NLD. I don't even celebrate, I just stand at the corner flag with my hand on the Arsenal badge.
The team all jump on me and hug me. Everyone gets ready for the match to restart, Leah hugs me tightly and kisses my forehead.
Leah: I love you.
Maddie: I love you more.
The match ends 3-0 to us. A perfect NLD to take my mind off everything. We are shaking hands with the spurs players and bench. He walks over to me. I ignore him and walk off.
Dan: don't walk away from me.
I freeze when I feel his breath on my neck. I'm looking for Leah but I can't see her.
Dan: how are you princess?
Him saying those words make me feel sick.
Maddie: don't say that to me.
Dan: what?
Maddie: just leave me alone.
I walk off and he grabs my wrist. I start getting flashbacks.
Dan: don't worry, just come with me.
I'm still looking around for Leah, he pulls me down the tunnel before Jonas stops him.
Jonas: hands off my player.
Dan: we were just going for a chat.
Jonas: and I'm stopping it. Hands off her, now.
Dan let's go and walks off.
Jonas: are you okay Maddie? What do you need?
Maddie: le-Leah.
Jonas turns to Kelly and tells her to go get Leah.
I slide my back down the wall and put my head in my hands. Jonas crouches down.
Jonas: was that him?
I just nod.
Jonas: okay, okay I'll get this sorted okay?
Before I can say anything Leah comes running down the hall.
Leah: babe!
Jonas stands up and Leah sits next to me.
Leah: wh-what happened?
Jonas explains.
Leah: why didn't you shout me?
Maddie: I couldn't see you.
Leah pulls me into her and I start to cry.
Leah: it's okay, he's gone. Come on, let's go to the changing room.
Leah helps me up and takes me to the changing room. I sit at my locker and stare into space.
Leah: baby? Your dad is outside.
Maddie: okay
I stand up and go to my dad. He's talking to Jonas.
Michael: hey sweetheart, I'm so proud of you.
Maddie: thanks dad
He hugs me tightly and kisses my forehead. I don't let go of him.
Michael: are you okay sweetheart?
I just nod. I can tell he's worried.
Jonas: he's gone Maddie, he got escorted out of the building.
Maddie: he's gone?
Jonas: he's gone, come on let's get to the bus yeah?
I nod and walk with jonas.
We get to the bus. I sit at the back, and stare out of the window.
Jonas: Maddie?
Maddie: yeah.
Jonas: what can I do?
Maddie: I need to get out of here.
Jonas: out of where?
Maddie: England.
Jonas: are you asking what I think you are?
Maddie: just for the rest of the season
Jonas: you think that's a good idea?
Maddie: I need to Jonas, I've been thinking about it since it happened but after today I just need to be away from here.
Jonas: okay. There's only a few days left of the transfer window, I'll get it all sorted in the morning, okay?
Maddie: thanks.
Jonas: I'm here for you okay?
Maddie: I know. Thank you.
Jonas: anytime.
Jonas heads off the bus, I'm sat with a few of the staff members, they are all chatting at the front but I just put my headphones in and try to relax.
Now the hardest part, telling Leah I'm going on loan.
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Sorry I've been AWOL! I'm back, with a bang. I promise 🫶🏻