It's a few days before Christmas and Riley gets an urgent call from her father, asking to talk to her. So, after having to convince her girlfriend to go on and hang out with Max without her, she drove back home.
It was in the afternoon and she hadn't been to the office in weeks because Peterson thought it best to give her a break from it all, even the illegal dealings. The rumour of her killing a man vanished faster than Riley had expected and much to her shock and everyone else's, Bryan, being the same man to spread the rumour, released a statement. In it, he not only cancelled the claim, but he also apologised to Riley for "lying" against her and for any damages he might have caused with the rumour.
Jennie couldn't have been more relieved. She even had the courage to check out the poetry house. So, one morning she called her friend Mia who had gotten a car just the week before. The girl came to fetch her and they went to view the place, loving every part of it. The next step was to check out the lists of contacts, but everything was going well so far.
Riley parked her car at the front because she had no intention of staying the night. Her girlfriend was in her possessive era and she was loving every part of it. She also thought that this would be a great opportunity to speak to her father about having a child. She just wasn't sure if the man would be up to the idea of them having one out of wedlock, especially since both women were still unsure of how to go about it all.
Walking out of her car, she handed over her keys to one of the workers to have it washed. With a small sigh and a bit of nervousness bubbling in her chest, because she really was frightened by whatever her father wanted to talk about, she walked inside.
As she walked in, a text disrupted her from her thoughts. She fished out her phone while greeting a group of maids sitting outside by the entrance. A guard opened the door for her and she got in. Reading the text she smiled because it was her girlfriend texting her.
Layla<3
Baby, Max is making me eat pudding as a punishment for not telling him about our relationship. Help me by dealing with him for me🥺
The text made her laugh quietly, shaking her head in amusement because she knew how much her girlfriend hated pudding. A maid led her to the lounge where she sat down and waited for her father. A glass of an intoxicating substance was brought for her but she wasn't feeling in the mood to drink at the moment so she thanked the maid but didn't touch the drink.
Sitting back on the couch with a smile, she texted her girlfriend back.
Riley
Tell him that I'll slaughter him.
Layla<3
I don't wanna eat this😭😭
Riley
Then don't. I'll kill his gay ass😂
Layla<3
Baby, you just made things worse for me😭 Now he's adding a hot sauce to it. Think I'm gonna throw up.
Riley
If you throw up then I'm not kissing you😏
Layla<3
Not fair🥺 I miss you already.
Riley laughs to herself because she knew her girlfriend didn't just text to complain about Max, but because she has a problem with staying away from her lover for too long. She understood her, because she felt the same way.
Her father walked in the room and she looked up to meet his soft gaze, standing up to welcome him. As he walked closer, she quickly texted a response before putting her phone back in the pocket of her black dress pants. She wore a suit incase her father wanted her to meet a client. That wouldn't be shocking at all.
"Riley, you're here," her father says, smiling at her as if he hadn't expected her to actually show. Riley gives him a nervous smile. Although their relationship has improved, she is still learning how to behave around him.
"Yeah, you said it was urgent," she says calmly, but her heart is racing and she is worried.
"I did. Come on, sit. We have a lot to discuss."
Upon hearing this words, Riley sat back down and her father sat down opposite her. A maid brought him a drink as well before leaving the room.
"Have you had breakfast? We can eat first if you want," Peterson asks softly, and it is then that Riley sees that her father also looks nervous. She shakes her head no. Not because she doesn't want to have breakfast with him, but because she would really rather talk about the main reason why he called her first.
"I'm not hungry. But thank you," she declines politely. Peterson looks down at his shoes for a second before looking back up and into his daughter's eyes.
"How are you?" He asks her, and Riley almost laughs because her mind tells her that it is a joke. That her father didn't just ask about her well-being. Of course this wouldn't be the first time that he has asked her this, but it's usually over the phone. It is the first time that he has actually asked her in person and she wasn't sure how to feel about it. She wanted to laugh and cry all at once. But she doesn't, and settles on a smile, a genuine smile.
"I've been better. How uh, how have you been?" She asks, and doesn't mean to stammer but her heart is tightening with a certain joy. Joy of being cared for by her father. She's felt more at peace with herself in the recent days than she has in a long time.
"Business is doing good, as usual."
Riley nods with a small smile, her eyes falling from her father to the floor before looking up to her father again.
"So uhm. You said you have something urgent to talk to me about," she started, and her chest tightened in a painful way at the sight of the worry in her father's eyes. She blinked before tilting her head to the side, confused.
"Yes. It's about your mother," he starts, his eyes moving from that of his daughter to briefly stare at the ceiling as if there was something there that fascinated him. Something that would save them both from the dreaded conversation. A small sigh left his lips and his eyes teared up.
Riley felt a wave of panic rush over her, but she stayed glued to the couch, unsure of what to do. Not knowing how to react. She just looked at him with a sad face and... Blinked. Because what else could she really do? She was a foreigner to the emotion-showing man infront of her so she didn't know how to act.
"Your mother," Peterson began the real issue as he tried to calm himself by taking slow breaths.
"She's getting old Riley, and so am I. I am afraid of having her die in jail but your mother she's- she's so stubborn."
Teeth grit and jaws clench while hands fists and Riley's afraid of her father getting violent. She wasn't afraid of him harming her, but more of him harming himself.
"Get her out of there," Riley says, and she can only manage a whisper but her father hears her nonetheless and he responds with a dry laugh, the tears now in streams, flowing down his pale cheeks. Riley feels her heart ache from invisible needles stabbing through it.
"I have tried. I have tried recently and I have tried in every year after her arrest but she refuses to co-operate with the lawyers I get her." His eyes move to look at his daughter and she can see the guilt eating him up. The guilt that has ate him up for years. The one she used to see on every single one of her birthdays where she would stand in the kitchen and just... Stare. Because once it would be filled by spilled flour and cake ingredients, laughs and giggles of joy and excitement floating in the air.
The guilt in his eyes when he watched her walk down the stairs every weekday, ready for school and instead of mom's fresh pancakes topped up with cream, she now looked at a fancy breakfast made by a maid. Still, all she did was stare with no emotion in her eyes. And whenever she looked up to see him, she could see the guilt.
When she first got her periods and the blood painted her favourite blue jeans red and she stood infront of it, Peterson walking in with a bag filled with sanitary pads with no knowledge of what to do. Mary joining them with a kind smile and soft eyes, telling her that there was no course for alarm. But she just stared at the jeans, no emotions shown as Mary explained the process women often go through every single month but all she did was stare. When she turned around and looked at her father, a feeling of anger lighting up her dark eyes, she could see the guilt before he looked away in shame.
When on her next birthday no parent wanted to bring their kids over, talking about not wanting them to be exposed to any danger because apparently, being associated with a Brown puts your life at risk. With Peterson sitting down on the table trying to make more calls while Riley just stood infront of him and... Stared. When he looked up and into her empty eyes, she saw the guilt.
When she got her first girlfriend who later dumped her after finding out that her mother was the woman arrested for killing a man. She sat in the TV room staring blankly at a dark screen. Peterson walking in and asking her about the girl but she didn't respond, simply stared at the screen. He stood by the door, trying to figure out what happened. And when she stood up and slowly walked to the door. She saw his eyes flicker to the picture of her mother hanging loosely on her hands before looking into her eyes, and she could see the guilt.
When after her heartbreak she started changing girls like underwears, never wanting to commit to one girl. When her name was painted with the colour of a Casanova because she was afraid of being hurt, she saw the guilt in his eyes.
When she had her first outburst of anger and destroyed everything in her room save for their family pictures that she had thrown in the pool but were not damaged. When she screamed and fought, throwing things around in an angry fit. And the guards had to be sent up to her room, breaking the door open and holding her down. One of them, apparently having experience in kidnap, put a drugged cloth over her mouth while she fought in an aid to break free. When she looked up and felt get herself get drowsy, sleep almost swallowing her whole, she saw her father standing by the door, watching her struggle, and she could see the guilt in his eyes.
When after too many complaints of concern from her teachers, her father forced her to see a therapist that she refused to talk to. Staring blankly at the white wall of his office. Staring, not talking or moving. Just staring. When the session came to an unproductive end and the man talked about her behaviour to her father, she saw the guilt in his eyes. And he never made her go to therapy again.
When she got more violent and had a habit of giving out a beating to whoever poured gas to flame her anger, and she couldn't control herself. When her teachers called her father who came to fetch her after detention, she would look at him with eyes void of any emotion, and she could see the guilt.
When she grew older and spent less time at home, the light in her eyes no longer that of anger but that of the youthful joys and mischief. Rarely ever returning home. On the days that she finally decided to come home and they met in the living room, her light being blocked by a flame of anger that had dimmed over the years, she could see the guilt.
The guilt that had eaten her father up so much that it hurt him to look at his daughter. So he stopped. He stopped looking at her. Stopped talking to her. When she pulled away, he did the same.
With the little progress they have made that meant so much to Riley, she didn't want them to go back to that place. The place where their father and daughter relationship was non-existent. So she sat up and moved forward, blocking any more her father's sad words. Because she knew where the conversation was going. Her mother didn't want to leave prison because she blamed herself and her father was about to wail on about how the blame is his own. She didn't want to hear it, and she really didn't want to keep seeing it's ugly guilt in her father's dark eyes.
"I'll talk to her," she says without thinking, and the way her father's eyes stare at her shows her that he wasn't expecting her to say those words
Taking in a nervous breath she continues.
"I know what to say to get her to work with your lawyers. I want her out too. For all us. For you," she says, and if she wasn't there to see it for herself then she wouldn't have believed it when someone told her that her father had a genuine smile on his face, his eyes shining with hope.
He stands from the couch and moves around the table to his daughter, opening his arms for her. Riley doesn't hesitate, nor does she waste any time. She quickly stands and hugs him tightly, her eyes closing at the feel of her father's arms around her. She almost tears up because his hold is one of the safest places she has fallen into. Pulling back, she looks up at him and feels ready to share her secret with him. So she does.
"I need to tell you something," she begins, and Peterson stares into her eyes with great care.
Riley pulls away completely and sits down, her father doing the same. But he doesn't return to the other couch, instead, he sits down next to his daughter and watches her with soft eyes.
Riley plays with the black rings on her fingers, her eyes cast to the floor.
"I killed a man," she says quietly, like she is afraid that the words will drop so hard, they'll probably break whatever thin glass of a bond between her father and herself. But Peterson doesn't anger, nor does he walk away from her. He simple just stays calm.
"Tell me what happened."