A/N: I'M SORRY YALL
Chapter 2 of the story, the titles and the plot will continue this is just the ending of one chapter and the start of another
Lunas POV:
My fingers fiddle with my rings as I walk into the studio the group is practicing at. It's been almost a month after the date Dami and I had, and honestly, everything's been perfect. Everything except the huge elephant in the room.
My job.
It frustrates me so much because I can't seem to find a balance in life, with anything I do. When I'm too focused on my job, my mental health and social relationships decline. When I'm too focused on social relationships, my performance in my job declines.
It's a vicious cycle.
As stupid and maybe unreasonable as this sounds but, I value my job and building a career for myself more than my social relationships.
Never beeing too close with my family has probably made me this way, not to act pick me or anything but I've always found a way to stand my ground.
I need stability in my life and I spiral when someone else fends for me. I need to be in control and have a plan set for myself.
As much as I love the group, as much as they're my family, it doesn't work that way with them, and sometimes I feel like I'm losing the balance I so desperately crave.
That's why I needed to make this decision, for me and for my future.
"Ciao bella" Vic says as she jumps up from the couch running up to hug me, Dami follows.
"Hey beautiful" He greets me with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. We're not dating, well officially, but we're pretty close to it. We haven't had much time to spend one on one due to the groups new album coming out, but we still see each other often and act like a couple.
"Why are you nervous cara?" he asks in the hug. Fuck. How does he notice shit so easily.
I don't respond as I pull away clearing my throat. Please don't make this harder than it needs to be.
"I need to talk to you guys" I announce as everyone freezes to turn to me, even the bands manager.
Thomas and Vic look at me with a puzzled look, Damiano a stern and concerned one, while Ethan...I feel like he knows.
"Uhm..I'm moving" I blurt out as it feels like the temperature in the room dropped. Everyones face falls as Damiano looks at the floor, refusing to make eye contact.
"W-what?" Vic says shakily as I notice the tears forming in her eyes. Thomas shoots a perplexed glance in my direction. Ethan remains oddly silent, his eyes fixed on me with a knowing intensity that sends a shiver down my spine.
Dami's silence speaks volumes, his gaze locked on the floor, a mixture of hurt and understanding etched on his face.
"Yeah, I... I got an offer," I stutter, trying to steady my voice as the weight of the moment presses down on me.
"It's a great opportunity, something I can't pass up."
Vic takes a step back, her eyes filled with a blend of shock and hurt. "But... but you're a part of this, of us," she murmurs, her voice barely audible amidst the thickening tension.
"I know, Vic. And I love being a part of this. You guys mean everything to me," I reply, my heart aching at the pain I've caused.
"But this... this is something I need to do for myself, for my future."
Damiano finally lifts his gaze, his eyes reflecting a mix of emotions. Ones I used to be able to read, but not right now.
"You didn't think this was something worth discussing with us?" His voice is controlled, but I can sense the hurt lacing his words.
"I... I wanted to, but it all happened so fast," I stammer, feeling the weight of guilt settling in.
"I didn't want to leave you hanging, but this chance... I had to decide quickly."
Dami's gaze remains fixed on the ground, the tension in the room almost palpable. His silence, a turbulent sea of emotions, seemed to fill the space more than any spoken words could.
Vic, her voice barely a whisper, breaks the heavy silence. "We're your friends, aren't we? Friends talk about big decisions, they don't just leave."
The weight of her words hits hard. It's true; I've always known I can rely on them, yet here I am, standing on the edge of change, feeling like I've let them down.
"I know I should have talked to you," I say, my voice trembling with regret.
"But this opportunity, it came unexpectedly, and the pressure to decide was immense."
Ethan, usually the one to break the tension, remains solemn, his eyes searching for answers in my faltering words.
"You could have trusted us. We could have helped you through it."
Their disappointment hangs heavy in the air, each word of reproach carving deeper into my conscience. The guilt weighs me down, the ache of their hurt almost tangible.
"I'm sorry," I murmur, the words barely escaping my lips amidst the knot forming in my throat. "I didn't mean to hurt any of you. I just felt... overwhelmed."
Dami finally lifts his gaze, and the vulnerability in his eyes cracks through my fragile composure.
"It's not just about the decision, it's about us. It feels like you're slipping away."
His words pierce through me, unraveling the fragile layers of my trying to be tough appearence.
I've always felt like an outsider in their world, an appendage to their closeness, and this decision seemed like the final confirmation of that.
"I've always felt like I'm on the sidelines," I continue, my voice trembling with the weight of untold emotions.
"Like I'm a part of your world, but not entirely. Watching from afar, cheering you on, but never truly in it."
Vic's face softens, a silent assurance to go on.
"I'm not part of the band, not in the way you all are. Sometimes it feels like I'm just the extra puzzle piece that doesn't quite fit, no matter how much I try."
Thomas's eyes soften with a touch of realization. "We never wanted you to feel that way."
"I know," I nod, tears threatening to spill. "It's not your fault. It's just... how I've always felt. And this opportunity, it feels like a chance to find where I truly belong, to carve a space for myself."
Ethan's gaze softens with empathy. "We've unintentionally made you feel this way?"
The guilt in his voice tugs at my heartstrings. "No, it's not your doing. It's how I've perceived things, always second-guessing if I truly fit in."
Vic's voice is tender. "We're more than a band, more than just music. You're part of our lives, not because of the band, but because of who you are to us."
The sincerity in her words warms my soul, yet the ache of feeling like an outsider persists.
"I love you all. But I need to find where I stand in my own story, separate from the band's narrative."
Ethan's expression softens, a flicker of understanding in his eyes. "If this is what it takes for you to feel whole, then we'll support you. But know this, you're not on the sidelines of our lives. You're at the core of our friendship."
The air between us remains heavy, the weight of our unspoken conversation looming larger than ever.
Dami's gaze, once a familiar comfort, now feels distant, his unreadable expression adding to the ache in my chest. Vic and the others exchange glances, silently offering their support, as Dami steps forward .
"Can we talk? Alone?" His voice is composed, yet the tension lacing his words is noticeable.
The others nod, giving us a moment of privacy. As they move away, I notice Ethan's lingering concern, a subtle reminder of the impact of my decision on our intertwined relationships.
Dami gestures towards another room. The space feels suffocating, the distance between us more profound than the physical few steps we've taken.
"I don't understand," he starts, his voice laced with a mix of frustration and hurt. "I thought... we were close."
His words hit like a sudden gust of icy wind. "We are," I reply
"Then why didn't you talk to me?" His eyes search mine, pleading for an answer.
"I wanted to," I confess, feeling the weight of my own stupidity.
"But I didn't know how to bring it up. I didn't want to burden you."
A hint of disbelief flickers across his features. "Burden me? You've always been there for me. Why wouldn't you think I'd want to be there for you?"
I struggle to meet his gaze, the guilt of keeping him in the dark burning me through the inside. "I didn't want to disrupt everything. I didn't want to complicate our friendship."
Dami runs a hand through his hair, "Our friendship is already complicated, isn't it? It's more than that, and you know it." His words linger in the charged silence, a testament to the unsaid feelings we've moved around for far too long.
"I didn't mean for any of this to hurt you," I whisper, fighting back the tears. "I care about you, more than I can explain."
His gaze softens, a glimmer of vulnerability breaking through his cold exterior.
"I care about you too. But sometimes it feels like you're keeping a part of yourself from me." The honesty in his words cuts through the tangled emotions within me.
"I didn't want to burden you with my own confusion," I admit, my voice trembling with raw honesty.
He steps closer, the distance between us narrowing, "We're in this together, aren't we? Through the good and the bad?" His vulnerability unlocks a floodgate of emotions within me.
"I want to be," I reply, tears finally spilling down my cheeks. "I just don't know how."
We stand in silence as I let the tears finally fall.
"I have to go," I whisper, the words feeling like a finality I wasn't quite ready to face.
He nods, a bittersweet smile playing on his lips. "I know."
The ache in his eyes mirrors the heaviness in my heart. The truth we both try to avoid lingers, the inevitability of my leaving carving a deep ache in our connection.
"I'll miss you," he murmurs
A lump forms in my throat, tears threatening to overflow. "I'll miss you too, more than you know."
"What happens to us?" His question hangs in the air, laden with the weight of our unspoken connection.
I pause, feeling the weight of his inquiry settle upon me. "I don't know," I admit, my voice wavering. "I wish I had an answer."
He nods, a sense of resignation settling in his features. "Friends then?"
"Friends," I echo softly, knowing that in that simple word lies both comfort and a severe ache in my stomach.
"I hope you find what you're looking for," he says softly, a genuine wish wrapped in his words.
"Thank you," I manage, my voice barely a whisper, choked with emotion.
With a lingering glance, a silent acknowledgment of the bond we shared, I turn away, each step heavier than the last.