Hyde Park was teeming with other members of the ton promenading. Colourful feathers stuck in big bonnets competed with silk bows and ruffles adorning the walking dresses and pelisses of the women. Morning coats of various shades of green, blue and maroon were as numerous as that of the staid blacks and navy blues.
Frederica tugged on lace of her pale green sleeves of her walking dress as she walked sedately behind Julia and Healey, some distance from them. She was here as a chaperone, she reminded herself, though she longed to know what they were laughing and talking so animatedly about.
Ignoring the offending organ that was once again making itself known, she turned to her partner, Shearing, who was spotting a deep green morning coat that overlaid a dark brown checkered waistcoat perfectly complimenting the colours of his eyes, fawn-coloured breeches and black Hessians. His addition had been last minute. Just as she and Julia had come out the front door with Healey, the young man had appeared.
When Julia had protested at having him along on the walk, Frederica had said, "But I'll be all alone since his lordship will be with you the entire way. It'd be nice to have a companion of my own, won't it, Julia?"
Julia's eyes flickered, followed by a nod. And then glared menacingly at Shearing, lifting a finger in a threatening wag. "Do not upset my friend again, Shearing. Or you'll have to explain yourself to me."
She jumped in when she saw the man open his mouth to answer. "Of course he wouldn't! He's already apologised the other night, haven't you, Mr Shearing?" He frowned at the wink she gave him but then nodded mutely.
She noted that Healey was watching the entire scene as if it were a play, amusement evident, and barely refrained from rolling her eyes. Trust a man to not notice a romantic rival. It was that or he was so secure in his position that he didn't feel threatened by the presence of another man.
Or he simply didn't care enough about the woman.
Frederica told herself to withhold any judgement until she could observe the pair of them more. They set off for Hyde Park in their respective pairs, with Frederica keeping her distance as much as possible so she could watch them. And Shearing at the same time. The man beside her was attempting to not be affected every time by Julia's laugh, which was frequent and genuine. It was a torture to watch, her pain exacerbated by the fact that Healey — in his usual black morning coat and navy striped waistcoat paired with chocolate brown breeches and similar looking black Hessians — looked to be enjoying himself as well.
What a pair they made.
Maybe she'd let Shearing in on her plan. It might be easier for her to help if she had some assistance. Besides, if Shearing really did love Julia, he wouldn't want someone else to marry her, would he?
"Mr Shearing," she tapped on the sleeve of the man who seemed a veritable giant next to her short statue. However, he was just about the right size for Julia was who a head taller than her. When he turned his gaze to her, she said, "I'd like to propose something which requires your help."
"Certainly, Mrs Brookfield. But first, I..." his look turned contrite. "Thank you for being a friend to Miss Marlowe. I realised I never did express my appreciation to you for it. Lady Welles just informed me that she'd been quite worried about this matter since her debut last Season for Miss Marlowe had been quite lonely then. And even at the beginning of this Season, she hadn't formed any lasting friendships with any of the debutantes." He tugged at his cravat. "And now, I've fallen even further down in my own eyes. It is no wonder I've earned her abhorrence."
Sympathy filled her. Yet it also cheered her for it would mean Shearing was less likely to reject her idea.
"I'm certain you'd like to make amends with her. I can assist you with that, but only if it leads to Julia's happiness. You have to understand that my primary goal is her happiness. If that is with you, our aims align. But if she decides that Healey will make her happy, then that is what I will work towards. Do we have an understanding?"
He nodded. "In this, we are in agreement. If Ju...Miss Marlowe so decides that her happiness lies not with me but with Lord Healey, I will gladly step aside and make way for his lordship."
Frederica marvelled at the ease with which he declared his intention. "You're a better person than I am, Mr Shearing. I found it difficult to give up. Still am finding it difficult at times," she smiled wanly, "despite the other person having demonstrated that he feels otherwise towards me."
"Is that person Lord Healey?" He chuckled at her surprise. "I recognise the longing in your eyes when you look at him. It's the same as my own."
She found herself grinning at him. "What a pair we make indeed."
"Indeed." They shared a quiet smile at their shared misery. "And yet you've declared that Ju...Miss Marlowe's happiness is of utmost importance. More important than your own in fact. Does that not make you the better person than me?" He waggled his eyebrows. A belly deep laugh escaped her lips.
Julia glanced over her cream-covered shoulder at the laughter that burst from behind. "It seems like you needn't worry about Shearing and Mrs Brookfield not getting along."
"Indeed, my lord." She pressed her lips together at the surge of jealousy she felt at the ease with which the pair behind them conversed. Pushing it down, she turned back towards Healey. "I beg your pardon. Please continue. You were talking about...about the...uh..." Embarrassment filled her face.
"About the Corn Laws. But I don't blame you for not remembering. It isn't the most enlivening subject."
"No! It is!" At his lifted brow, she tried on her prettiest smile. "Please do continue, my lord. I'd like to learn more about it." Had she gone too far? Healey didn't look convinced.
"Maybe another time. The weather is too fair today to speak about boring topics." He tapped his finger on the top of his walking stick. He did cut quite the dashing figure even if his clothes made he look too severe. She realised she hardly saw him in colours that were not black or navy or dark brown. "Tell me more about your friendship with Mrs Brookfield. Earlier you seemed quite protective of her."
"Ah." Julia tried to hide her grimace. She'd hoped Healey hadn't noticed her fierceness. It wasn't becoming of a lady. "I...I...yes, I suppose it does seem that way. Not that I'm not," she quickly added. "I...It was more that I wanted to ensure that Mr Shearing didn't upset her again like he'd done the other night at the opera. Hence, my sharp tone. I rather wish you'd forgotten about it."
"Consider it forgotten." He winked at her, drawing a smile from her, and they continued in companionable silence for a few more steps. "What was the opera about? The one you watched last night."
"The Magic Flute. Apparently it's Mrs Brookfield's favourite as well."
"Is it? I didn't know." His pensive tone had her wondering if it'd been she he was curious about or Frederica. She'd noticed the surreptitious glances he'd thrown over his shoulder as they walked.
Pushing aside the strangeness she was feeling, she said, "How about you, my lord? Do you enjoy the opera?"
"Sometimes." He didn't elaborate. "Do you enjoy the opera then?"
"Yes, it is one of my favourite things to do when I'm in London since I cannot enjoy doing my other favourite thing."
"And what might that be?"
Suddenly, Julia felt shy about revealing her love for astronomy. Did it make her less of a woman to admit her strong feelings for what was considered a masculine pursuit? Would she appear too bookish in Healey's eyes? Whenever she'd brought up this topic last year on the rare occasions she'd had callers, every single one of the men hadn't called a second time. "I...uh..."
"Kite-flying? Fishing? Riding? Because I can assure you that I know the perfect places to do those things while in London."
Grateful for his attempts to buoy her confidence, she said, "Not those....star...stargazing."
"Stargazing? Yes, I suppose that is the one thing you can't do in London. That is an unusual hobby to have."
"I'd have you know it's perfectly respectable for a woman to look at stars! There is no convention that says she cannot, unlike...riding astride or climbing trees!" Her hands flew to her lips when she realised her outburst. "I beg your pardon, my lord!" She felt the tips of her ears burn and felt that Healey must be able to see them despite them being covered by her bonnet.
Mentally berating herself, she didn't notice her walking companion press his lips together in a valiant attempt not to laugh. "Miss...Miss Marlowe," he cleared his throat. "I...I think stargazing is quite enjoyable. As is riding astride and climbing trees. Though I'd have to confess, you're the first woman to admit that. When my sister was younger, she'd try to climb trees too. No doubt trying to emulate me. Of course, she eventually stopped as she grew older, claiming she no longer liked it. But I daresay she'd never admit that she did enjoy it for a while."
At his words, Julia's heart thumped uncomfortably behind her shift and stays. And she realised that there was a distinct possibility she could fall in love with him. A sense of horror stole over her. No! She couldn't allow it. Having loved one man who broke her heart was enough. She couldn't allow it a second time. And she knew he wouldn't be able to love her the way she might him. Not a single utterance that accompanied his proposals had been about love. He probably was as jaded as she was. And while that might have been well and good had she not discovered this side of herself, it was no good now that she did.
Sucking in a breath, she tightened her hold on her parasol as if it might fly away any moment though there was nary a breeze in the air. She couldn't marry Healey anymore now that he was a danger to her heart.
"Miss Marlowe? Are you well?" The concern in Healey's voice had her panicking even more.
She nodded, not trusting her voice. She needed a plan to remove herself from his company. Glancing about her, she spied an unoccupied bench in the distance. She pointed to it. "If you could secure that seat first, my lord, I'd be most grateful, for I find I'm rather tired. I'll wait for Frederica before we walk over." He inclined his head and hurried off. Turning around, she gestured to Frederica to come to her.
"Where's Healey gone off to?" She said when she was near enough.
Julia hooked her arm around Frederica's and leaned in, lowering her voice. "I asked him to. I needed to get away from him."
"Why? What happened? And why are we whispering?"
"Could you send Shearing on some errand first? I rather he not hover and hear our conversation."
Frederica gave her a strange look but nodded. "Mr Shearing, if you could be so kind as to purchase some fruit for me? Apples or something. I think I saw a seller peddling it earlier." If Shearing found her request odd, he said nothing, only nodding before walking away. "He's gone now. So what is going on? Why the secrecy?"
Julia bit her lip, unsure how to proceed. It sounded fine and good in her head but she was unsure how Frederica would react. Her friend patted her hand and smiled reassuringly. "You know I will make no judgements on you."
"I...I can't...I can't marry Healey!" She felt the other woman stiffen. "I just can't! And I don't know how to tell him otherwise."
"What did he do to you?" Fury turned her green eyes hard as emerald. "Did he insult you?"
She shook her head vigorously. "On the contrary, he was kind and understanding. He tried to make me feel more at ease. And that's all wrong!"
"I'm afraid I do not follow."
"I..." Julia tightened her arm. "I'm afraid that Healey will make me fall in love with him. And he won't ever feel the same way that I do about him. And I can't put myself through that again." The last sentence came out on a sob. The months of hurt she'd endured, the loneliness and longing for what once was sprang up in her like a fox pouncing on an unsuspecting hare. And tears formed unbidden. She ducked her head so the world wouldn't see her cry.
"Shhh. It's all right." Julia felt an arm come around her back. "It's all right." Squeezing her eyes closed, tears ran down her cheeks as she was being led somewhere. "Sit. I've chased Healey away to fetch a hackney to bring us home so we're alone for now. Here," a rustling and then something was pressed into her ungloved hands. "A handkerchief for your tears."
Julia clutched it gratefully and wiped at her cheeks, though more tears streamed down like a dam overflowing. "I...I must...I must look like such a fool right now." Her voice hitched through the words.
Frederica rubbed her arms. "As my aunt likes to say, better a fool now than a fool later."
Julia's lips lifted in a watery smile. "Does she?"
"No, I made that up. I've never heard her say that actually."
Julia giggled. "Thank you."
"It's no matter. Come, the hackney's here."
"Will Healey and Shearing be accompanying us?"
"No. They're men. They can find their own way back. Besides, they're useless when it comes to a woman's tears."
Julia nodded and stood, keeping her head down as they made their way to the road. She was grateful that it was fashionable to wear a big bonnet now. It was useful in hiding her face from the world.
As she rounded the carriage to climb on, two pairs of booted feet greeted her downward gaze. Beside her, Frederica spoke. "Thank you, my lord, Mr Shearing, but we will make our way back home alone." The men began to protest. "Nothing will happen to us if we take a hackney on our own. 'tis London, not some godforsaken country!" Julia found herself smiling at the scathing putdown. "Come, Julia, you first."
Her hand lifted automatically and a strong grip grasped it as she climbed in. When she turned to sit, she saw Shearing step aside. She quickly averted her eyes when he looked at her. Frederica climbed in a minute later and the carriage rumbled away. Though she knew it was absurd but Julia could feel Shearing's gaze the entire way back home.