CHAPTER EIGHTEEN:
REMEMBER THOSE WALLS I BUILT?
(WELL BABY THEY'RE TUMBLING DOWN)
( tw! mentions of assault & suicidal thoughts )
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MELANIE HADN'T SPOKEN since they left the outpost. She was trapped inside her own mind. Her mind had built a home and inside it, she was trapped in one of the darkest rooms in the deep basement. It was a room that she tried to stay out of. It was a room she had boarded up. It was a room that she tried to keep locked but occasionally, the fear and the abuse would seep out from the cracks and drag her back in. The door had become unlocked while she was in the compound, tied up and abused, and it had grabbed Melanie and trapped her inside. She couldn't get out. She couldn't escape that basement. No matter how hard she tried, she was always there. She couldn't get out. Cold. Dark. Endless.
Maggie and Carol didn't talk much as well as everyone drove back to Alexandria but Melanie was worse and it was obvious to everyone around her. Nobody knew what Melanie Briar's backstory was but whatever it was, it was traumatizing. It was more traumatic than anyone could've ever guessed. Melanie had a numb look on her face like she wasn't even in touch with reality, and she wasn't. She was trapped inside her own mind. Margot had an arm around Melanie the entire ride back and Daryl kept staring at her, worried about the teenage girl he had saved months prior. Melanie didn't notice any of it, however, as she just kept picturing the basement. Every single second of every day spent in that basement replayed in her head.
Margot took Melanie directly to Denise when they arrived back in Alexandria. Not only had Denise become their doctor but she had also studied psychology, so Margot had hoped that Denise could not only help Melanie physically but mentally as well. Melanie's vision was blurred as she was brought in, Margot's arm around her the entire time. Denise had asked Melanie if she was okay but Melanie wouldn't answer. She just stared straight ahead, not saying a word. She had heard Denise but she couldn't speak. If she spoke or argued, she used to get hit until she obeyed.
Are you gonna be a good little girl?
Denise started to examine her for wounds. The physical ones were obvious. She had a black eye over her left eye, a large cut on her cheek that was in the center of a large bruise taking up most of the left side of her face along with a split lip. She looked like she had taken a beating, which she had. Melanie knew that it wasn't nearly as bad as the beatings she had taken before. She had taken beatings so hard that she went unconscious for hours or could barely open her eyes because they were so swollen from the amount of blows she had taken. This was nothing compared to the abuse she endured from the Claimers. Her abdomen and her back were covered a large purple and black bruise that traveled from her ribs all the way down her stomach and around to her back. As Denise pressed on her ribs, she felt a crack along one of her ribs just below her lungs. It wasn't bad enough to cause much damage but it wasn't good.
Melanie sat still, not moving and not talking as Denise patched her up. She wrapped gauze around Melanie's abdomen to help hold the ribs in place. She had also warned Melanie not to do any strenuous activities for a couple of weeks until the bones healed. Denise explained to Margot that the bones would heal on their own, which Melanie already knew. It wasn't the first time she had cracked a rib. Melanie had tried to exit her mind enough to listen and it had worked but everything was so blurry and muffled that she could barely think straight or listen.
Denise started on Melanie's face. She cleaned up the cut on her cheek and the split lip. The cleaning process burned but Melanie liked the pain. The pain reminded her that she was still alive, that she was real, and that she wasn't in that basement anymore. Melanie started to come back to reality the longer she sat in the infirmary. The longer her body and her mind recognized that she was in Alexandria, the easier it was to escape her mind and join the real world again.
As Denise finished up, Melanie finally looked up. She locked eyes with Denise and in a numb, monotone voice said, "Thank you."
Margot's eyes widened at Melanie finally speaking. Margot wanted to say something but she kept her mouth shut, not wanting to spook her sister back into her own mind again. Denise smiled at Melanie, "Of course." Denise handed her a cooling gel, gauze, and a pain medication. "This will help with the pain in your abdomen and your back. Just put it on twice a day when you change your bandages. The ribs will heal on their own —"
"Within a few weeks," Melanie finished for Denise. Denise nodded, looking surprised that Melanie knew that. "It's not my first cracked rib. It's not even my second."
Denise didn't react. She just nodded and handed over the items. Margot took them and helped Melanie off of the gurney she had been put on. Melanie winced at the pain but it was good. The pain helped keep her out of her head. It helped keep her out of that room in the house she had built in her head. It helped bring her back to reality, so Melanie cherished the pain no matter how bad it hurt.
Melanie didn't say anything as Margot led her back to their home. Margot had said something about Melanie taking a shower while Margot heated up some soup but Melanie was half-listening. She was physically and emotionally exhausted, and experiencing so much physical and emotional pain. Melanie was hungry but all she really wanted was to shower and go to sleep. As Melanie wandered off upstairs, she heard Margot making soup in the kitchen. Melanie went straight to the bathroom and peeled off her sweaty clothes. Melanie unwrapped the gauze that Denise had just put on her and set it aside. Melanie stared down at the counter before slowly looking up at herself.
As Melanie stared at her naked, bruised body, tears came to her eyes. Her face looked awful, a gigantic bruise took up most of the left side of her face while her left eye had started to darken. Her lip was split and a little bit swollen. Melanie gently ran her hands over the area, wincing at the tenderness. Melanie then looked down at her abdomen. Melanie's breath hitched in her throat upon seeing the gigantic bruise that went all the way around her abdomen and back. The cracked rib was the most bruised and swollen area on her body. Melanie's hand shook as she ran her hand over the area, wincing at the touch. Melanie pulled out the pain medication and opened up the bottle. She popped two into her mouth before leaning down by the sink and drinking water from the tap, swallowing the pills.
Melanie quickly looked away from herself and turned on the shower. She let the water heat up, avoiding her body in the mirror before stepping into the shower. The water stung on her bruised and battered body but once again, Melanie cherished the pain. Melanie wished she could walk through life without needing pain to keep her grounded. She wished she could go back to that day in the gas station and make sure she had her knife out. She wished that she would've tried to fight back harder. Melanie wished a lot of things but it was too late for that. She had been kidnapped, abused, tortured, and treated like she wasn't even a person. Melanie had clawed her way back all on her own to someone who constantly had their guard up.
Melanie opened up her eyes as she thought of Carl Grimes. Melanie had clawed her way back to the very bare minimum of what she needed to be to survive. Carl helped bring her back from that edge. Melanie had clawed her way back but Carl had helped her take the last push and Melanie was eternally grateful. Melanie wondered if Carl would come looking for her like he had done after she collapsed. She wondered if Rick would tell him how she wouldn't let anyone touch her and how she wouldn't speak. Melanie knew Carl cared about her like she cared about him but she also knew that he didn't want her to go in the first place. He said it would be too dangerous for her and he was right.
Melanie turned off the shower and wrapped a towel around her body before exiting. Melanie saw the outline of her body in the foggy bathroom mirror and looked away. Melanie stepped out into her room and grabbed some clothes before heading back into the bathroom. Melanie grabbed the gauze and the cooling gel, hesitating before wiping the fog away. Melanie lifted up her shirt and gently applied the cooling gel, wincing as she touched her bruised skin. She slowly started to put the gauze around her abdomen, tightening it as she groaned in pain. It hurt but she needed to make sure her ribs would stay in place. As Melanie finished, she took one last look at her body before somebody knocked on her bedroom door.
Melanie made her way to the door, knowing it was Margot. When Melanie opened the door, however, she saw Carl Grimes. Melanie couldn't but let out the tiniest sigh of relief. Carl looked worried and concerned as soon as he saw her beaten face, "Your face... I heard what happened. Are you okay?" Melanie moved out of the way and let Carl in. He was carrying a bowl of soup in his hands. Melanie knew that Margot had sent him up with the bowl. Carl set it on Melanie's nightstand, "Margot made you some soup."
Carl looked at Melanie and Melanie looked back. He examined her face with his eye. He gently reached up and touched her chin. Melanie winced slightly but she let him observe her. Carl let go and looked at her with sadness in his eyes. Melanie felt her eyes well up with tears as she stared back at him. Carl sighed, "What happened? What did they do to you?"
Melanie shook her head, the memories coming back to her. Melanie went to wrap her arms around herself but winced when she touched her ribs. Melanie took a seat on her bed as Carl sat beside her, "They... They beat me because I tried to help Carol. The only man, Donnie, he punched me over and over again and then... he kicked me until he cracked a rib."
"Jesus," Carl sighed.
"I've taken worse beatings," Melanie said without thinking. She looked down at her hands and played with her fingers. Melanie remembered what Carl had told her and she chuckled softly to herself, "I guess you were right."
Carl furrowed his brows at Melanie's words, "What do you mean you've taken worse beatings?"
Melanie hesitated. She hadn't even realized she had said something about her previous beatings. Melanie looked at Carl who seemed worried. Carl cared about her so, of course he would be worried upon hearing that Melanie has taken beatings before but Melanie was surprised to see him so worried. Melanie looked back down at her hands, debating on whether or not to say something. Melanie hadn't explained the basement to anyone but Margot before. Melanie looked back at Carl who was patiently waiting for her to explain and Melanie knew that even if she didn't, Carl would understand and not pry.
Before Melanie knew it, she had opened her mouth and started explaining. She didn't know why or what came over her but her walls that she had built had started to crack and fall as she stared into the beautiful blue eye of Carl Grimes, "After my parents died, Margot and I were raiding an old gas station. Margot was in the back while I was picking through the scraps up front. I wasn't paying attention and these men... they... they kidnapped me." Melanie took a deep breath as she pictured that day in her head. "I — I tried to fight back but... there were more of them than me and I was weak and distracted. They knocked me out and when I woke up..."
Cold. Dark. Endless. Melanie took a deep breath. Carl waited patiently as Melanie pulled herself together. A few bricks started to topple as she continued, "When I woke up, I was in a basement. I was — I was chained to the wall by my ankles and..." Melanie pushed up her sleeves, revealing the bruising and scarring on her wrists. She made sure to keep hiding her scarred arms. "My wrists."
Carl gently placed in hand on Melanie's wrist. Melanie didn't pull away as she let him gently caress that bruised area as she continued, "They — Um — They..." Melanie shut her eyes at the memories. Cold. Dark. Endless. "They beat me, tortured me. They..." Melanie shook her head. Carl didn't need her to finish to understand what she was saying. "They hurt me. I would scream and cry, and they would just hurt me more. Nearly six months. Six months. I... I was starting to pray for — for death. Death would've been better than that torture."
Carl continued to rub her wrist and Melanie noticed that it was helping to calm her down. It helped her anxiety not be so bad, "How did you get out?"
Melanie smiled, "Daryl."
Carl furrowed his brows, "Daryl?"
Melanie nodded as she explained, "One day, they brought him down. He was new the group and... I was the initiation. He refused. A few days later, after they were all passed out, he came down and let me go, gave me supplies, and sent me on my way."
Carl furrowed his brows once more as he let go of Melanie's wrist, "These men... were they called the Claimers? Their leader... Joe?"
Melanie furrowed her brows, not understanding how Carl would know that unless Daryl had told them, "Yeah... how did you —"
"They hurt me, too," Carl sighed. Melanie continued to furrow her brows as she listened to Carl explain. This time, however, Melanie placed a hand over his hand that was resting on his thigh. "Our group got split up after a fight with this man who called himself the Governor. One night, Daryl and the Claimers found us. One of the guys..." Carl took a deep breath. "He held me down and tried to..." Melanie squeezed his hand. "My dad stopped him before he could do anything. Then my dad, Michonne, and Daryl killed all of them."
Melanie's eyes were full of sadness as she stared at Carl, "I'm so sorry that happened to you."
"I'm so sorry that happened to you, too," Carl replied.
Melanie and Carl stared at one another. Melanie could feel more bricks fall down around her. She had built so many walls complete with barbed wire. Carl Grimes had tore the barbed wire off his bare hands and with it, her walls started to crumble. Carl felt like Melanie's saving grace and as she stared at him, she felt more comfortable than she had felt in a long time. Her walls had started crumbling down and it was all because a boy in a sheriff's hat had shown up one day and wouldn't leave her alone.
Carl gave her a small smile before wrapping his arms around her. Melanie let him hug her as she buried her face in the crook of his neck. Her body fit perfectly in his arms and she cherished the warm feeling he gave her. As Melanie hugged him, she realized that she cared deeply about him more than she ever thought she did. Unbeknownst to her, Carl was thinking the exact same thing.
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[ 2.7K WORDS ]
carl's trauma with the claimers is so overlooked like why did they skip past that so fast???
but anyways, they're secretly in love and halo by beyoncé is their song fr like just listen to it & you'll agree!!