Yu's POV:
I mean the whole world to him, huh...?
Yuna does, at the very least.
I bite my tongue, quite honestly not wanting to think about 'her' right now.
...But I've read the text, now. I know how mad he gets when he's left on read.
I just don't know what to say.
I have to let him down gently. I can't afford to break his heart.
But, how?
I look up, and he's having so much fun with everyone else. Even if they are still mad at him.
...Should I really take away his source of happiness?
Not only that, but do I want to?
Yes, it's the morally right decision, but... I feel connected to him.
What am I saying?
He's unblocked my number now, so I can text him when I please. Even if it won't be the same.
Yuna18: That's sweet.
Too patronizing.
Yuna18: I had no idea
you felt that way.
A lie.
Yuna18: The feeling
is mutual, Yosuke.
Geez, I can't say that...
"Hey."
I jump unwillingly at the hand on my shoulder.
"Kanji," I breathe.
He looks down at my phone, face dropping. "Yu..."
"It- it's not—" I try, snapping the phone out of view.
"Tell me you're kidding."
"K-Kanji—"
"You're his girlfriend?"
"Shh!" I snap. "Keep it down, will you?"
He only shakes his head. "I can't believe this."
"It- it's not as bad as you think."
"I knew you were desperate, Senpai, but... This is just... no...."
"Kanji, please," I beg.
"...Why?" He snaps. "What the hell were you thinking!?"
"I was afraid," I scoff.
"Afraid?"
"Of losing him."
"Losing him to another girl."
"Yeah, yeah," I sigh.
"You're not a girl."
"I know that."
"Shit, Yu," he mutters. "You're not a girl."
"Cut that out," I grunt.
"You're catfishing him."
"I- I'm not," I splutter.
"Yu—"
"I'm just talking to him."
"Under a new identity."
"Yeah, but—"
"How the hell have you even managed that?" He frowns. "I know he's not the smartest guy out there, but he had to have noticed something was amiss."
"I just..." I sigh. "I made excuses. I convinced him it wasn't a big deal. I knew how to, Kanji. I know how to do these things."
"You know how to manipulate him."
"It's not like that," I shake my head. "He loves me."
"He loves her," he corrects. "And when he finds out she doesn't even exist... He's never gonna forgive you."
"H-he won't find out," I say. "You... won't tell him, right?" I feel a lump form in my throat.
He closes his eyes. "I'm not gonna. Even if I did, he wouldn't believe me."
"...Thank you."
"Listen, Yu," he murmurs. "I'm not his biggest fan, but even he doesn't deserve this."
"I never meant to deceive him."
"Don't lie," he says. "That's exactly what you wanted to do."
"I wanted to feel that connection again," I frown. "The one we had before... Before you came along."
"Don't blame this on me."
"I'm not trying to," I bite my lip. "But... Kanji it's nothing special, really. We just... talk. Like friends. I help him out, I tell him about my day..."
He pokes a finger to my chest. "He's in love with her."
"He just said that to impress us," I shrug.
"And you seriously believe that?"
"...I don't know," I admit. "I want to."
"And what about Christmas, eh?"
"What?"
"When she's... when you're coming around to meet us all?"
I swallow hard.
"This seriously wasn't your smartest move," he scoffs.
"I regret it, Kanji," I mutter. "I never meant for it to go this far."
"Senpai, you have to delete that account."
"And break his heart?" I frown.
"If you don't, he's gonna find out. He's gonna hate you for good."
"If I play my cards right—"
"You can't hide this," he yells. "You gonna get married over that app? You gonna go on dates, and vacations all online?"
"Kanji—"
"He's not gonna back down," he says. "He feels like he's met someone who gets him. He's not gonna let her go."
"He will," I sigh. "Given enough time, he will."
"Yu, you have to end this. Right now."
"Fine," I mumble. "I'll find an opening, and—"
"No," he says, grabbing my phone from me.
"Kanji." I reach for it, but he pulls it out of my grasp.
"Now," he says. "You're in deep enough already."
"If I leave him out of the blue, that's going to cause even more heartbreak."
"And that's where you come in." He jabs a finger to my chest. "Remember?"
"I can't just—"
"His knight in shining armor. Your words, man."
"This is different. I can't just... break his heart and then come to fix it, as if I wasn't involved."
"Either that, or you break it and leave him alone."
"Please," I whisper. "Don't make me do this."
He puts his hands on my shoulders. "Listen to yourself!" He scoffs. "You're freakin' crazy."
"...I really, really want to be with him."
"And you're not her."
I bite my lip.
"The longer the lie, the harder the truth will hit. If you... back out now," he says. "Maybe this will stay secret."
"You think so?"
"It's a higher chance now than it ever will be." He hands me back my cell. "So, come on, Senpai. You know what's best."
"Ha..." I chuckle, taking it from him. "Who knew I'd end up being lectured by an underclassman?"
"When you're as hopelessly in love with someone the way you are, you need someone to watch out for you," he shrugs.
"...Thank you."
"No sweat."
He peers over my shoulder as I open the app.
I can't work my way out of this one, can I?
My finger hovers over the 'delete account' button.
"Don't hesitate," he sighs.
I nod slowly, holding my breath as I press the button.
I get a confirmation notification, and then I'm redirected back to the login screen.
I breathe out.
"...I'm proud of you," Kanji says.
"What?" I splutter.
"For knowing what's right," he smiles. "Now, come on. The day's almost over, so we gotta make the most of the sea."
~~~
Yosuke's POV:
"Are you sure she's real?" Chie smirks.
"Yes," I snap.
"She sounds almost too good to be true," Rise frowns.
"Believe me, I know," I chuckle.
"Can't wait to meet her," Chie shrugs. "We are still meeting her, right?"
"Dude, of course," I scoff.
...Hopefully?
If she grows out of her anxiety by then.
"Well that's hardly going to be fair," Rise mutters.
"What do you mean, Rise-chan?" Yukiko asks.
"I mean, Senpai gets a girlfriend before any of us get boyfriends."
"What's so unfair about that?" I grin.
"Hello?" Chie scoffs. "This is you we're talking about here."
"You don't have to worry about needing a boyfriend, Rise-chan," Teddie chuckles. "I'm right here."
"Hm.. No, thanks," she giggles.
"Rejected..." He sighs.
"Why don't you, uh... try things with Yu again?" I suggest.
If... If I have a girlfriend, I don't want him feeling like a third wheel.
Jealous, sure, but... not so much that he'll hate me. I don't want him to be like me, because I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing.
"Uhm, what?" She splutters.
"Narukami-kun and Rise-chan agreed to stay friends," Yukiko frowns.
"Well, what about you?" I shrug. "You kissed him, after all."
"Y-you kissed him!?" Rise coughs.
"He kissed her!" Chie butts in. "It wasn't her decision, alright!?"
"Way to go, Sensei!" Teddie chuckles. "Scoring girls is so cool..."
"I-it didn't feel all that good," Yukiko admits quietly.
"What?" I frown.
He's not that bad of a kisser...
"D-dont get me wrong," she mumbles. "H-he was great, but..."
"He used her," Chie finishes. "And he was an asshole for doing that."
"But, what?" Rise urges. "Come on, I'm interested, now!"
"It felt like he was trying to convince himself I was someone else."
"...What?" Chie pulls a face.
"Is that... understandable?" She murmurs.
Of course. He wasn't over Kanji then. Not Kanji... Me? No... Wait, what?
I blink, taking a step back in the water.
Let me piece all this together...
Yu kissed Yukiko because he wanted to prove he was over his 'mystery girl'.
But his 'mystery girl' ended up being Kanji...
Then he... Uh... Well, he kissed me. Am I the mystery girl?
No... Haha... No.
He kissed me to get back at me. To piss me off, and we laughed, and forgot about that.
I swallow hard.
But, what if it is me?
I look back at Yukiko. She's talking to the girls and Teddie, now. Her slick hair shines in the sunlight and her beautiful skin glimmers with droplets of water.
And I can imagine Yu standing behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist, pulling her in close.
And in the next minute, I'm in her place. Yu's arms are wrapped around me. He's pulling me in close.
"Yosuke?" Chie waves a hand in front of my face. "You okay?" She laughs a little.
"You look pale," Rise frowns. "Are you coming down with something?"
My heart is racing a million miles an hour and it won't shut down.
This is all bullshit... I'm not his mystery girl. I'm not a freaking girl at all!
I mean... Imagine how grossed out Yuna would be if she found out... She wouldn't wanna talk to me. Not if she thought I was having some... gay love affair...
...I can't do this. I can't.
"Hey." Kanji's voice comes from behind us.
"Hi." And there's Yu's voice.
I freeze in place.
When I jerked off the other night... Did he...? Nah, Yu wouldn't take advantage of a situation like that, right...?
Oh, god.
I feel my whole body trembling.
How long have I been in his sights?
How long has he been gay!?
Fuck... It's all Kanji's fault... It's his damn fault...
How could he do this? Is he trying to ruin mine and Yu's friendship!?
I don't want it to end... God, I don't...
But, if he... if he really does have some sort of fucked up feelings...
"Yosuke?"
I turn around to face him. Face him, but not really. I can't make eye contact. Not after figuring all this out.
"Yosuke, is something—"
"Yosuke, watch out!" Teddie yells.
He's cut off when I feel a heavy weight latching itself to my back.
I cough slightly, trying to shake it off.
"Chie, what the fuck!?" I splutter.
"I finally thought of your punishment for losing!" She chuckles, arms around my neck — and tight, and that.
And... and fuck. I can feel Yu's gaze. Why the hell should I feel guilty? They're his feelings; not mine.
"Here!" She laughs. She puts her hand to the back of my head, dunking it forward.
"Chie, that's enough," Yu snaps.
"Do it again! Do it again!" Yukiko goads.
"Guys," I cough, finally forcing my face out of the water. "And, Chie, get the hell off me."
Reluctantly, she jumps down.
"Yeah," Kanji agrees. "We wouldn't want his girlfriend finding out, do we?"
...The bastard has the audacity to look at Yu as he says that. Because he knows. He knows how Yu feels. He made Yu feel like this.
I try to peel the hair from my forehead, struggling a little. I bite my tongue out of frustration and embarrassment, but Yu takes a step towards me, helping me out.
...I'm paralyzed.
Fuck...
He's close. Hella freaking close. Just like in the closet. Like when he kissed me.
Shit... Is he gonna do it again?
I hold my breath, but I don't move.
I don't know why I don't move. I lick my lips, as if in anticipation, when he pulls back, clearing his throat.
He felt it, too.
What the fuck was that...?
My heart is thudding through my eardrums and I feel so hot that I could just pass out.
"...Yosuke?" He mutters.
I finally snap back to reality and push past him.
"Where are you going!?" Teddie calls.
"Home," I mutter, trudging through the water.
"Wh-why!?" Rise splutters.
"F-forgot I was workin'," I murmur.
"What about me!?" Teddie frowns.
"I—" I try.
"I can bring him home for you," Yu offers.
"S-sure, man," I sigh.
"Be safe driving home."
"U-uh, yeah..."
~~~
thanks for reading:)
word count: 2072