"But I'm in the trees, I'm in the breeze...
My footsteps on the ground. You'll see my face in every place... but you
can't catch me now."
December 20th, 2021.
OuterBanks, North Carolina.
𓇼 𓇼 𓇼 𓇼 𓇼
The day of the baby shower was fulfilled with mixed feelings that were unable to be controlled. Sun shone down on the front yard of the Cameron Estate that sat directly beside my parent's home, covered with beautiful bouquets and little decorations that Ada had bought to give me a good baby shower that she insisted I needed. My back sat in the warm sun as Mae braided small braids in my hair that she fanned out, putting tiny daisies all through my hair. Caroline mingled with guests that started to arrive meanwhile Rafe was inside his old house, admiring his fathers' relics that hadn't been touched since he was presumed dead until the day we had been face to face with a dead man. Rafe had invited some of his fathers' family out from South Carolina, including his grandmother and aunt that favored me in the sweetest manner. My body was covered in a white strapless dress that had made me feel comfortable in my own skin.
Rafe's grandmother came outside to find me as she held presents within her hands. She sat the presents onto the present table, wobbling her younger self over towards me with a large smile on her face just in time as Mae finished my hair. I had flashed a gentle smile at Mae. "Thank you, sweet girl." I told Mae. She nodded her head and started to clean up the area as I stood up from where I had been seated for a while. Rafe's grandmother looked at me with excitement brightening up her blue eyes that matched with the rest of the Cameron family. I took my hand out to grasp her hand inside of mine, placing another hand on top of her fragile hand. "How are you, Margaret?" I asked her with a tender voice as she stared at me with a widened look almost like she was overly thrilled to see me. "I am just lovely today. It is such an honor to see you again and to know I have a great grandchild already." She explained as she held onto my hand that wore the family relic she gifted to me when I was in South Carolina.
I placed my other hand against my heart. "Thank you so much for coming. I love seeing you in town." I told her as I kept holding onto her hand with a heart full of love. She nodded her head at me while she stared at my face almost like she was admiring me. She had been wearing a beautiful floral dress on her petite body. Her blonde hair was straightened against her shoulders since she had kept her hair shorter due to her age. She was in her mid-sixties with a sweet soul. She was so beautiful just like her daughter, and granddaughters. Margaret was a person that was much different than her son, as her husband, John, was more on the rough side. John was the typical manly man that everyone wanted to be. He was a businessman. He was strong headed, incredibly smart, and overall a good person. He didn't shed tears but could talk about things that were emotional. As his grandmother took her hand away from me, Rafe came up behind me with excitement that his grandmother was here. She smiled at him with a sincere look as her tan skin shined underneath the sunlight. "Oh my handsome grandson!" She spoke as she grabbed his face with her tender hands that were full of gentleness.
Rafe laid his hand against my back and then took his grandmother in for a hug. "How are you, nana?" He asked as he kissed the top of her head since he stood so much taller than the both of us. She hugged him back after taking her hands away from his chubby cheeks. "I'm just wonderful. I was just telling Isla how excited I am to be here today. You are dating such a wonderful girl." Margaret told him with an excited expression on her face as her blue eyes matched his own. I smiled widely at her and how she had spoken so highly of me. She had reminded me so much of Sarah, her own grandchild. Sarah and her had similar personalities that were fun, kind, loving, and genuine. They were almost like twins. "I know, huh? I think she's great." Rafe responded to her which had caused my smile to show my dimples that were embedded into my tan cheeks. His grandmother nodded her head and smacked his chest with gentleness. "Are you going to introduce me to Isla's parents by any chance?" His grandmother asked with her round eyes that reminded me of Sarah. I nodded my head and looked up at my boyfriend that stood with his other hand inside of the pocket of his slacks he wore.
He had worn a nice button up that fit around his muscular arms. The shirt was a surf design he got at the local Hurley shop nearby, the color was a white with a light blue print. He had worn a pair of khaki slacks with white converse that matched his shirt. He had done his hair nicely, his hair sat in front of his forehead with comfort after he made sure that he looked presentable. "Oh, yes I almost forgot." He responded to his grandmother as she had turned her head and stared at his hair. "And when are you gonna cut that hair?" She asked him in a playful tone and looked at me, her face growing with a smile knowing that she just liked to give her grandson a hard time. I smiled widely at her joke towards him and opened my mouth to speak. "I'll go get my parents really quick." I spoke to her before Rafe could make a smart-alec comment back at his grandmother. She nodded her head at me as I walked away from the two of them. My father and mother had been mingling with my boyfriend's step mother, Rose. Kaia, Wheezie, and Kristin's four kids ran around in the yard nearest to the dock that sat unused for the multiple months since the "death" of Ward.
Since that day that Ward showed up in South Carolina, he never spoke about it after that. We didn't talk about it alone and we didn't tell my father or mother. We knew that there was no possible way for Rose not to know, but we didn't want to repeat it to her. Rafe didn't care enough about his father to tell his step-mother even if she had known. Rafe was angry and held resentment towards his father because of the fact that he hit me. He caused trauma just by faking his death. He caused trauma to everyone in my friend group by the death of Sheriff Peterkin and the shooting of JJ. Thinking about JJ being shot, the blood covered all over my thighs and body, made me sick. Somedays, I had felt almost like I could still see some of his blood underneath my nails or all over my skin from trying to keep him awake while waiting for the ambulance. I tried not to think about the pain because it caused more damage to my body than anything else.
Approaching my parents and Rose, my father had turned to me with his eyebrows narrowed. "What's wrong sweetheart?" My father asked me as he took his hand away from the lower back of my mother. I shook my head and formed a loving smile at the three of them that stood in comfort of another. "I want you guys to meet Rafe's grandmother. She is very excited to meet you guys." I told my father in return to his question. My father nodded his head and glanced at my mother. "Nana Margaret is so sweet. She was talking about how lovely you truly are, Isla." Rose told me with a gentle tone forming in her voice. Nodding my head, I opened my mouth to speak. "Aww, she is very sweet." I responded to my boyfriend's step mother and glanced at her in her dark brown eyes that were full of life. Rose was so much of an opposite to Ward. She was sweeter, much kinder and less dirty than he had been. As I turned around to see where Margaret was, I saw them walking up towards me. I stared at Rafe and watched him hold onto his stable nana that meant a lot to him. I moved towards my parents, standing up straight while my dirty blonde hair blew through the breeze that came up from the ocean shore.
Rafe formed a gentle smile. "Nana, this is Isla's parents, Lisa and Mark Madison." Rafe spoke as he held her hand. Margaret nodded her head and held her hand out to shake my parents hands. Rose formed a smile on her face, meanwhile my parents were entirely happy to meet the rest of Rafe's family. They had met his aunts, uncles, and cousins once they had arrived but missed his nana and grandfather since they showed up a little later. "It is so lovely to meet you, I'm Margaret." She spoke with a softness in her voice like usual. Her eyes gleamed with light and loveliness. "Nice to meet you finally!" My mother spoke as she shook his grandmother's hand. My father waited for them to drop their hands for him to shake her hand afterwards. "Thank you so much for coming today, Margaret." My father spoke and held his hand out to shake her own. The noise of the ocean hit the shore with comfort so great that it calmed every nerve in my body. "I wouldn't have missed it for the world. You guys have such a wonderful and beautiful daughter." Margaret said, making me blush from the kind words that she had said about me.
I turned my body to face the ocean more, staring at it as it smacked against the shore and pulled itself back out. I couldn't imagine being anywhere else but near the ocean. Placing my hand against my stomach, I glanced back towards my boyfriend that had been staring down at me with love full in his eyes. "What's wrong, my love?" He asked me as he moved closer towards me. We stepped away from my parents, his grandmother, and his step-mother. I glanced up at him and shook my head after making contact with his bright blue eyes that matched the ocean before us. "I just miss your sister and my friends." I told him as I placed an arm underneath his arm, holding onto his muscular back. He placed a small kiss upon my forehead to comfort me with the love he had for me. "It's okay baby. I miss them too." He told me while he tried to subside our sadness on such a momentous occasion that would be remembered for the rest of our lives. "Hey! Izzy, come open gifts!" Caroline called out as she headed towards me with a smile forming on her tan face. Rafe nodded his head at me while I glanced towards her and back at him. "Go on, I'll come with you." He commented to me and ran his hands throughout his blonde hair that messily sat on his head now.
I nodded at him and released myself from him. I walked towards the blonde girl that stood with a long pink dress on. She had a bright smile on her face while her brown doe-like eyes reminded me so much of Sarah. I smiled widely and walked towards my newer friend that started to mean so much to me now that her, Mae, and Ada were all that I had as friends. Caroline turned to walk towards the gift table where people waited to see me unwrap gifts that were to celebrate the young girl that was still growing in my stomach. Everyone in our families and friends had been overjoyed to know that I was having a girl. Following behind Caroline, I stood near the present table that had an overwhelming amount of presents. I hated attention on me but I was overly thankful that loved ones came out of their way to surprise me with such an incredible experience.
Minutes had passed as I unwrapped gifts alongside my boyfriend, the future husband that I had hoped for. He held up the baby girl items in his large hands. His eyes almost formed puppy dog eyes out of the amount of love he already had for his own baby girl. He didn't question who he was going to be as a father and didn't question if we would love him. He could feel it and knew it. He was happy to be a father, even if he was nervous about it. He was nervous that he wouldn't even know how to hold the baby properly but I assured him it would come to him naturally. Rafe was overly thrilled to be a father with the other half of his heart. He finally realized how loved he was. He didn't need his father's attention to make him feel loved, he had us and an extra father and mother that formed such a strong love for him.
Thanking the guests that brought gifts after we finished unwrapping them, I hugged them each to show how grateful I was for them. Rafe shook their hands unless they were close family members out of respect and thankfulness. He thanked Ada, Caroline, and Mae alongside the other volleyball girls for helping and for taking care of me as long as they had done. Standing beside him, I laid my head on his arm and wrapped my arms around the same muscular arm. He choked up on his words as he was talking to the young girls. "This year was hard for her, losing her friends, and you all stepping in to love her and support her means so much to me. I'm very grateful to all of you for taking care of the love of my life." He explained to them as if a frog was almost stuck inside of his throat. It was special seeing him be so vulnerable in certain moments that I never expected from the Kook King of OuterBanks. Caroline smiled at me, before looking at the girls that stood beside her. "We love Isla so much. We couldn't ask for a better friend than her." Caroline mentioned to Rafe, making me smile widely knowing that I was actually loved by my friends and people that surrounded me.
For the next couple hours, we conversed with everyone that came. His aunt in particular was excited to see us once again since we hadn't seen her since August. Spending time with his family and my family brought a large happiness to my life that I had missed for so long.
5:45 pm.
The baby shower had ended after a long five hours of enjoyment and happiness. Rafe and my father had gone to the golf-course to check on how things were running since they hadn't been at work since yesterday morning. My mother and Rose sat on the deck of the Cameron Estate while Kaia and Wheezy messed around over in the yard. Rafe's family had been inside the Cameron Estate that they would be living in until Christmas was over. Insisting that Ward would have wanted that family together to celebrate Christmas. Standing in my old bedroom, I pet the young dogs that I had missed living with. Jack and Indie laid upon their dog beds that were unmoved in the bedroom I hadn't been in for months. The flowers that JJ had bought me last sat up on the empty dresser closest to the window, dried up and crisp. I stared at the flowers as it shined brightly from the sun that started to set against the horizon. Indie placed her head against my stomach that stuck out; holding the little baby inside of me.
Jack laid in his bed as I pet him across the back of his fluffy golden retriever coat. I tucked a small strand of hair behind my ears, staring at the room that was left untouched. Photos of my friends stuck onto the wall. The hammock that JJ laid in on his free time held his hat that he hadn't worn in months due to him being missing. Tiredness flooded my body as I yawned. I stood up from the floor where I had sat myself beside my puppies that I wish I could take back to my own home. Leaving them on the floor, I headed back to the clean bed that was unused since I had moved out officially. I laid myself onto the bed and covered myself with the sheets that would warm my body. I found myself drifting off into a sleep once I became comfortable in the bed that I had missed sleeping in so much. The comfortability of my bed brought me back to the time that I had snuggled beside JJ in the early morning hours, my face placed inside of his neck as he snored lightly away at the tiredness that flooded through his body. I had missed him that much I felt almost like I was going crazy without him here.
As much as I was in love with Rafe, JJ would always have the soft spot because he was my first crush and first kiss. I knew that I wouldn't be able to push away the feelings I had for JJ for the rest of my life, I could hide them but nothing would beat the love that I had for him. I loved Rafe more than anything. He became my rock. My shelter. My home. It was just hard to move on from my best friends that meant so much to me. I would pray late in the evening to hope that JJ and my friends would return safely and just be in my life again. Fearful that they would all forget me and never know who I was again. It was traumatic for me to think about, but I knew even in another life they would still love me. Everywhere around me, I could feel the presence of my friends in certain ways that I never knew I could feel. I could see JJ in the ocean, the flowers that he purchased for me, alongside small things that we did together. Kiara reminded me of the dolphins that brushed against the top of the waves during the sunrises and sunsets. John B reminded me of VolksWagon Bus' and the scent of strong tobacco. Pope reminded me of school work and small wildflowers on the side of the road, dignifying how odd he could be but he was such a fun person. Sarah reminded me of the color yellow and golden retrievers. They were all so different and unique in their own ways that made them who they were.
My brain drifted off into the memories that I had embedded into my mind. Almost like memories had replayed in a dream, reminding me of all the good things that formed genuine happiness for me. I had a gut feeling that my friends would come back to me. I had a gut feeling that they were alive and just were hiding from whatever they were doing. I just didn't know where, or when they would be back.
10:30 pm.
The feeling of passion flooded my lips as Rafe had kissed me with gentleness and love. We looked through the items more in depthly that we received from the baby shower, alongside writing small "Thank You" cards that would be given or sent to the people who brought them. We sat on the floor of our baby's nursery that once was an office that belonged to Ward. The room had been painted white while we had baby furniture of sea themed items arrived and were sitting in the room, unbuilt since we hadn't been able to set it up yet. Rafe laid out the small items that were gifted to us, especially the small baby clothes that he seemed giddy about. Explaining how cute and little the clothes were, and how he was so excited to be a father. I sat in my boyfriend's clothing as my stomach started to get in the way of all my clothing. Rafe glanced around the room that we were in, helping me write thank you cards.
"We haven't talked about the name we want to use for the baby?" I reminded him as I tucked a strand of my hair behind my ears out of annoyance that my hair kept getting in my face. He narrowed his eyebrows at me, leaning back while his muscular arms held himself up. "I thought we were going to do Kodi?" He asked and stared at me with tiredness forming underneath his eyes. His voice was raspy from talking all day long with a mixture of a small cold that crept up on him. "Sarah said that we should name the baby Kodi or Luella." I told him and remembered the night that I had hung out with my friends on the boat. The night they cheered for me after finding out I would become a mother. It was a bittersweet moment that I was able to have with them the last moments I did have with them. "What about Kodi Luella Cameron?" Rafe asked with a tenderness in his voice as he scooted closer to me. He pressed his hand against my lower back and held himself up with one arm. "I like that." I told him with a small smile forming alongside my face. He placed a small kiss against my cheek and rubbed my lower back with tenderness that made my skin form goosebumps underneath itself.
There was only a couple months left till I would no longer be pregnant. The months would go by quickly, people had said. I wanted to savor it for as long as I could before I would miss it. I missed all of my normal activities. Eating sushi. Surfing more in depth for long periods of time. Working out more. Being able to actually reach my feet without a large bump in the way. Simple things in life that I missed belonged to the past, but I would get them again once my daughter would be born.
It was different to say I have a daughter. It just almost seemed insane to me. Eighteen years old and full of sunshine. I couldn't imagine having a daughter but I knew that I would love the sweet baby. I loved being pregnant but I wanted to do things with the baby. I couldn't wait to take my baby to the beach and see her growth.
Some things in life belonged to the past but there were new adventures coming in the future with Kodi Luella Cameron, and her two parents that were madly in love with one another.