"I hate it when women wear clothes like that." He said with a scowl. "I mean, can you have a little respect for yourself?" He laughed and I just stared at him blankly. This was my third date from that app in two weeks. I was hesitant to agree this guy in particular because something about him seemed a bit off and clearly, I was right. The entire night he had proven to be the poster boy for misogynists which begs the question of why he wanted to go on a date so badly when he clearly hates women. "No one is going to want you if you-."
"Excuse me for a moment." I couldn't take it anymore. "I need to use the restroom." I feel like he would have had a conniption if I said "ladies room".
"I.e., you want to gossip about me to your friends." He smiled slyly. "I personally think it's a bit rude in the middle of dinner, but you're cute so I'll give you a pass." I stopped myself from speaking in order to not hurt his feelings and cause a scene, even though he did not deserve that courtesy. I tucked my clutch under my arm and walked up to the hostess.
"Hi, I'm leaving. I would like to pay for my meal please." I said. She looked at me a bit bewildered. "My server was Amy." I handed her my card.
"Um, uh, okay." She said taking it. She walked back to I guess where the servers were stationed then soon returned with my half of the bill. I signed, thanked her, got my jacket from coat check, then left.
[Baek]: Hey, sorry for the late response. Still need help?
[Brielle]: You are so fake. ☹
[Baek]: haahaha I really am sorry. Was working ┐(￣ ヘ￣)┌
[Brielle]: I'm going to need you to stop working every weekend.
[Baek]: Long week
[Brielle]: Need a break?
[Baek]: yes please
I smiled and ordered my ride. We hadn't done anything since my birthday. It was the right distraction. When Monday came, we were back to how we always were. I was starting to be glad for our little arrangement. Now it was time for me to return the favor.
"Was it really that bad?" He lay on his side, propped up on his elbow with his head resting on his hand as he stared down at me.
"When I told him what I did for work, he said that women are terrible with numbers so it's surprising I held a job this long."
"What the fuck?" His jaw fell open.
"Exactly."
"Why didn't you leave after that?"
"Because someone didn't text me back." I teased. He laughed and flopped on his back.
"I'm sorry. But you ended up walking out anyway." He said looking over at me.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah." I rolled my eyes. "I wasn't trying to be rude but I had enough."
"I'm surprised you didn't have some choice words for him."
"He left me baffled. Plus, he wasn't worth it." I said. "Even if I cursed him out, he would have something stupid to say about women. He didn't listen to me all night so it wouldn't make a difference." I shrugged.
"I'm sorry you had to deal with that." He said.
"I think I'm done with online dating."
"I think you should keep trying. You never know."
"How about you practice what you preach?" I challenged.
"Fair point, but I'm not the one looking for a relationship." He shot back.
"Whatever." I playfully shoved him and he laughed.
"Oh, I almost forgot." He sat up and pulled on his briefs before walking over to his closet. He disappeared into it for a moment then reappeared with a garment bag. He stood at the end of the bed as I sat up curiously. He smiled and unzipped it. When I saw what was hanging inside, I couldn't help but laugh. "I couldn't really remember how yours looked exactly, but I thought this was close? And nice?"
"You did not buy me a blouse." I giggled.
"I told you I would." He said nonchalantly.
"Baekhyun, return that."
"No, I was serious." I had a feeling arguing wouldn't do anything to change his mind so I conceded.
"Thank you." I said. He smiled and laid the bag down at the bottom of the king sized bed before climbing back on and under the covers. "So what has you all stressed out this week?"
"Potential new client." He said. "We're trying to figure out if we can even take them on or not so we've just been diving into their company and we're starting to find things we don't like."
"So don't take them."
"They could bring in so much money though."
"And you'll have to be defending them every week if their history is as bad as you're making it seem." He ran his hands through his hair and sighed.
"You're right. And we know this. I guess we were just weighing the pros and cons as heavily as we can before we make a decision."
"Well, I'm sure you'll make the right one." We smiled at each other, just staring for a moment before I broke the silence. "I should get going." It was late and if I waited any longer, I would have fallen asleep. His bed was really comfortable. Plus, it was warm.
"Yeah, okay." He sat up with me. "Thanks for coming over."
"Thanks for the shirt."
"Oo, this exchange kind of sounds like something it shouldn't." I tilted my head at him in confusion as I pulled on my dress. He came behind me to help zip it up. "The exchange of goods for...you know." I took me a moment to register what he was insinuating.
"Oh my goodness. Stop it." I couldn't help but laugh and he joined.
"I'm just saying." He picked up my shoes and handed them to me.
"Should I be insulted?" I put a hand on his shoulder to steady myself as I slipped my pumps on.
"I didn't actually mean it. I just thought it was a...funny coincidence."
"Well, stop trying to be funny." I said. He pouted and I gave him a kiss on the cheek, smiling at him. He chuckled softly and walked me to the door. "See you Baek."
Tuesday was the next time I saw Baekhyun. He dyed his hair like he said he would a couple weeks ago. It was now silver. Styled in a comma. It looked really good on him and I was sure to mention it when we met up for coffee. Of course he ate it right up, inflating his ego even more. We were seated in the café because it finally started becoming too cold to walk around. Everything was fine until in walked his ex. I didn't want to bring his attention to her since his back was to the door. I had hoped that she would just get whatever she was there to get and leave but just as luck saw it, she caught a glimpse of him as she was walking out. I saw the mischief in her eyes and knew she was ready to start trouble.
"What do we have here?" She said, grabbing Baekhyun's attention. I saw him stiffen momentarily. She walked right up to our table. I was glad there wasn't an extra seat because I was almost certain she would have sat right down. "So this is still a thing huh?"
"What do you want Yongsun?" Baekhyun asked. He sounded exasperated.
"You blocked me." She sounded bitter. I looked away to stop myself from laughing.
"We're not doing this right now." Baekhyun stood. "Come on babe." It took a moment for me to register that he was speaking to me. I quickly stood and joined his side. He intertwined his hand with mine.
"Baekhyunnie, wait." She tugged on his other hand, nearly spilling his coffee.
"Yongsun, stop it." He grit his teeth. There weren't many people in the café but she looked as if she was ready to cause a scene regardless.
"Then don't walk away from me." She scowled. I stepped between them, forcing her to take a step back.
"Don't embarrass yourself in public." I said.
"This has nothing to do with you so get out of my way."
"He doesn't want you. Fuck. Off." I growled, glaring hard. She looked as if she was going to say something but faltered. I felt Baekhyun's arm around my waist as he guided me toward the door. Thankfully, she didn't follow.
"Thanks for that." He said once we were far enough from the building.
"What the hell does she want from you now?" I huffed.
"I don't know and I don't care." He said. "I just wish she will leave me alone."
"She will. Eventually."
"Eventually is not soon enough." He sighed and took a sip of his coffee. I sympathized with him. It was only recently that Jongin had finally stopped trying to apologize. The Monday after my birthday, I found out where his office was and took the necklace to him. Leaving him with a stern warning. Since then, radio silence. The wilting flowers were all cleared from my office and I finally felt as if peace was on the horizon. I hoped that would come for Baekhyun soon too.
Back in my office, I was working diligently to complete documents so I could leave on time. My phone vibrated on my desk but I ignored it, wanting to get my work done. But of course, curiosity got the best of me. I picked it up and was surprised to see a message from Jinyoung. It had been over a week since I had heard from him, even after I reached out. Yet again, he was apologizing for not being responsive, that work was getting the best of him. I wanted to immediately forgive him, but I was getting tired of the inconsistency. I really did like him but he wasn't making a move and he would ghost me way too often for my liking. Yet, when we spoke, it seemed as if he was really into me. He would flirt like no tomorrow and keep me on the phone for hours. It was all so confusing. I set my phone down, planning to ignore him. If he could do it, so could I.
Two Months Later
New year, new me. Or new problems I guess. The rest of November and December had been fine. Pretty good actually. Things between Baekhyun and I were actually working out pretty smoothly. It became a regular thing with us and nothing changed. We still had our coffee breaks and once in a while met up for lunch. Anything we did at his place stayed there. We never brought it up in public and I think that boundary kept things clear. Aside from that, Jongin stayed away from me. It was a relief and felt like a giant weight off my shoulders. I was still on the dating apps but slowed down as things with Jinyoung and I started up again. I was weak for him. We were still in a gray area and I was getting tired of the talking stage. I was close to giving up until he threw me for a loop and literally shook the table. I finally met him in person. He flew out to New York for a conference and made time to come see me. He was a dream. He looked like a prince. I couldn't stop staring at him the entire time during our lunch date. Although he had a busy rest of the day, he snuck away to my place late at night and left me dazed. He had to fly back early the next morning but he stayed as long as he could. I had expected for him to actually ask me out after that, but of course, nothing. That was a week ago. We still spoke here and there, but it wasn't enough. I had gone on two dates since, but I wasn't interested. I was stuck on Jinyoung and it was becoming frustrating.
"Are you alright?" We were video chatting. Something we finally started mid-December. It was nice but now it wasn't so nice because he could see my face which meant there wasn't much I could hide. I've been told on many occasions that if my mouth doesn't say it, my face will.
"Mmhm."
"You sure? Doesn't seem like it." I didn't feel as if it were the time to bring it up. I honestly didn't think I was going to at all. Just suffer in silence as I always did, but he seemed to really want to know.
"I didn't want to say anything before because it seems so cliché, but where are we going?" I spewed before I could change my mind. He blinked at the screen, tilting his head innocently. He looked cute with his thick-framed glasses and stubble. He was working on a project when he called me to chat. I thought that was sweet of him. I guess he was trying. I should have kept my mouth shut.
"What do you mean?" He asked. It was too late now.
"I mean...We've been talking for months but it doesn't seem like we're going anywhere." I explained. "From the beginning we were both clear on what we wanted but it seems like we've been in the same place since then. And when you came to visit...I thought...but I guess not." I couldn't look at him but he had the same soft neutral look that he always had. He really must have been a prince in his past life.
"Oh." Was all he said. If I could reach through the phone, I would have tugged on his ear.
"Oh?" I repeated, ready to dig into him.
"No, I mean "oh" as in I knew this conversation was coming but I figured we would have it in person."
"When? Because we had the chance when you were here last week but nothing happened."
"Well something did happen-."
"Not the time."
"Sorry." He cleared his throat. "I meant at a later time."
"But when? I'm honestly tired Jinyoung. If this isn't going to go anywhere then we should just end it now. I can't keep waiting."
"I don't want to end it." He said quickly. "I like you and I want to be with you but...I just didn't want to make any commitments because of the distance." Oh. "It honestly makes me nervous because I've heard about how hard long distance can be and I didn't want to start anything until I was really sure and knew how you felt about it."
"Well now you know how I feel. What about you?" I asked. My palms were sweating, nervous about his next words. He was silent for too long. I could see he was fidgeting. He ran his hand through his hair and it fell gently back into place.
"I...don't want to hurt you..." He finally looked back at the camera. I knew what was coming next and sighed.
"Okay Jinyoung. Have a good night-."
"Wait, no." He said quickly. "I don't want to lose you either."
"You cant be so scared to hurt me you won't date me but hold onto me at the same time. That's not fair."
"I don't mean it like that Brielle." He groaned. "Okay, fine, yes I do mean I don't want to hurt you and at the same time not lose you, but what I actually mean is that the urge to not lose you is stronger." He said. "I'm willing to try if that's what you want too." I couldn't stop the smile from spreading across my face. He seemed relieved and smiled too.
"I want to try too."
"Great." His smile brightened. "So when are you going to come see me?" He cocked an eyebrow and I laughed.
"I'll book a flight for next weekend." His smile fell.
"Wait, are you serious?" I looked at him, confused.
"Yeah...? Is that a problem?"
"No, no, no. I'll send you my address. Or some nearby hotels. You don't have to stay with me if you're not comfortable but you are more than welcome to. And let me know when your flight gets here so I can pick you up from the airport." His excitement made me giggle and my heart fluttered.
"I'll let you know." I said, settling him. The smile returned to his face.
"Okay, great."
The next morning, I took the elevator up to Baekhyun's office. I probably should have warned him I was coming but I was too focused on the reason I was going there to actually think it all through. Luckily, when I arrived, he was there and alone.
"Good morning Ms. Gray." He greeted with a smile. "What brings you by?"
"We need to talk." I closed his door and took a seat across from him. "I know this is not the time or place but I think we need to discuss this sooner rather than later."
"Is everything okay?" He asked cautiously.
"Yeah, great actually." I nervously folded my hands in my lap. I shouldn't have been nervous but my heart was racing and I couldn't slow it down. "I'm in a relationship now." I waited for his reaction, watching his expression carefully.
"Are you? That's great. Congratulations." He smiled wide.
"Thanks. But that means we have to end our...agreement."
"Okay." He said nonchalantly with a shrug. "Who's the lucky guy?"
"Uh, Someone I've been talking to for a while. I met him on a dating app." He laughed.
"I'm happy for you." He sounded genuine.
"Are we going to be okay?"
"Why wouldn't we be?" He asked earnestly. "This was all until we moved on or found what we were looking for and you found what you were looking for. We're good."
"Are you going to be okay?" I rephrased.
"Yes Brielle." He said dryly. "Just means I have to start on the dating apps again. Or just get Jongdae to try and hook me up." We shared laughter and I felt better.
"Okay, cool." I said standing. "Want to grab coffee later?"
"Yeah sure. I'll see you later." He said. I gave him a smile before leaving his office.
True to my word, I booked my ticket to San Francisco and was on my way after work on Friday that following week. I was nervous, but excited. We were on the phone every day that week and he was telling me of all the plans he made. I was just happy to be able to spend time with him again in person. I normally wouldn't have, but I decided to stay at his apartment. I wanted every minute I could get and hoped it wouldn't backfire in my face.
I had brought my luggage to work because my flight was at seven. After the six and a half hour flight with the time difference, I landed close to eleven. I felt bad about arriving so late and wished that I did book a hotel. When I told him I would order a ride to his place, he insisted on coming to pick me up. He was waiting at the gate. It felt like a movie. I couldn't believe my luck with this man. He greeted me with a tight hug and kiss on the cheek before taking my suitcase in one hand and my hand with the other.
"How was the flight?" He asked as he walked me out of the airport.
"Long." I said with a sigh.
"I'm glad you're here." He smiled.
"Me too."
"You hungry? We can pick something up on the way?"
"I'm actually not that hungry." My nerves were getting the best of me. I probably would have been hungry otherwise but I couldn't really think of much else other than the shock that I was really in San Francisco with a man that seems like he fell right out of a fairy tale.
"Okay, well, I can always put something together if you change your mind."
"Oh, you cook?" I asked, impressed.
"I can." He said. We reached a sleek black Jaguar and he held the door open for me before placing my suitcase in the trunk. I took off my jacket, realizing how warm it actually was. I was so used to the cold New York weather for the past few months, this was a bit jarring being as though it was January and it was snowing when I left. Jinyoung hopped in and started the car. Music came through the speakers and he rolled the windows down, letting in the cool nighttime breeze. The drive was scenic and I dozed off. He gently nudged me awake when we arrived. We were parked in a garage. I followed him out. He rolled my suitcase along and led me to the elevator. He was up on the sixteenth floor. His apartment was just as nice as Baekhyun's was. A beautiful view of the city and the water. His décor was mostly white, blue, and black with splashes of orange here and there. He gave me a quick tour before we ended up in his room.
"Let me grab you some towels so you can shower." He said. I nodded and opened up my suitcase to take out my pajamas. He returned a moment later and gave me the towels, informing me he'd be in the living room.
I cleaned off my make up and brushed my teeth before taking a hot shower. I started to really regret not booking my own hotel. It felt too soon for him to see me without makeup, but then I remembered we video chatted several times when I didn't have makeup on. If he didn't like it, he'd just have to deal with it. I moisturized then got dressed. I put everything away and walked out to meet him in the living room. He was lounged on the couch watching television. Grey t-shirt and black sweatpants on. The images from the television reflecting on his glasses. His strong arm propping his head up.
"Hey." I said, getting his attention. He immediately sat up.
"Hi." His staring made me a bit self-conscious. He seemed to realize because he quickly averted his eyes and stood. "Um, I know you said you weren't hungry, but I put a fruit bowl together for you." He hurried to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. "I hope you're not allergic to anything? I should've asked first." He scratched his head as he turned to face me.
"No allergies." He was really cute. Honestly, too sexy to be this cute, especially when he was flustered. He returned to the living room and handed me the bowl. It was a carefully arranged assortment of pineapples, strawberries, kiwi, and blueberries. He gestured for me to join him on the couch. We left a seat cushion between us. I don't know why we were acting like teenagers on our first ever date, but I guess it was just the nerves.
"What do you want to watch?" He asked.
"Anything." I shrugged, taking a bite of the fresh fruit.
"Have you ever watched "Yikes"?" He asked. I shook my head. "It's a reality show where they get all of these celebrities to do crazy challenges. It's pretty funny." He continued to explain while we watched. I scooted closer to him and shared my fruit. His arm settled comfortably around me as we laughed at the celebrities on the television running, jumping, and falling all over each other. Everything started to catch up to me and I found myself dozing off on his shoulder. I woke up to him gently tapping me. He had turned the television off. "Think it's time for bed." I nodded and yawned as I stood. I started walking but stopped when I realized when he wasn't following. "Oh, I'll take the couch." I frowned at him. "I just...space...and..." My eyebrow went up and he cleared his throat. "If that's okay with you-."
"Come on." I turned on my heels and started for his bedroom. I heard him quickly following.
We settled in the bed, facing each other. He set his glasses on the nightstand. There was only a faint light coming from the window so I could only see the outline of him which was a bit disappointing. He was too far away, so I scooted closer. I heard his breath hitch. I tried to remember if we were this awkward when he came to my place. It wasn't that long ago. I guess because our time was much more limited, there was no moment to waste.
"Thanks for coming." His voice was a whisper. I caught the glimmer of his eyes as they flitted over my face.
"Thanks for inviting me." I whispered back. He was first to make a move and I was grateful for it. His pillowy lips made me melt. This kiss was slow, but intentional. Each press and nip made me weaker and weaker. His hand pulled me closer so he could deepen the kiss. He soon rolled us over so he now hovered over me. My hands rested on his sides, gripping on his shirt. It only took one tug for him to unlatch from my lips and pull it over his head, tossing it aside. I ran my hands over the strong ridges of his abdomen, moving to his sturdy biceps, back to his abs. He carefully undressed me, hot lips kissing every inch of my body he could. He had me yearning for him by the time he undressed.
Thankfully, he didn't waste much time. From the grinding, kisses, and scorching touches, I was ready for him. He rolled a condom in and slid in. There was a simultaneous sigh of relief. He took his time and made my mind go hazy. Each deep stroke sent me further and further into orbit. I scratched at his back and moaned his name repeatedly. He picked up the pace and drove deeper until I came. He stole the sound from my mouth with a heated kiss. He came soon after. When we recovered and cleaned up, I fell asleep in his arms.
The next morning, I woke up alone in bed but surrounded by the smell of bacon. I took a moment to bask in the fact I was in the apartment of my new boyfriend after the perfect, slightly awkward first night, and now he was making me breakfast. I stopped myself from giggling and kicking my feet before heading to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Afterward, I made my way to the kitchen. He was humming along to some jazzy song as he was busy at the stove.
"Good morning." I was glad I didn't startle him. He turned and smiled at me.
"Good morning." He replied. "I hope you like waffles."
"I do." I came around the counter and kissed him. He smiled into it.
"Good morning." He said again. I laughed and kept my arm around his waist as he took the bacon off the stove. I didn't even realize the spread he had laid out on the counter. Bacon, eggs, waffles, fruit, breakfast potatoes, and orange juice in a tumbler.
"You made all of this?" I asked surprised.
"I told you I cooked."
"How are you so perfect?" I didn't mean to say it out loud, but it was the truth.
"I'm far from it." He laughed. "Go sit." He shooed me out of the kitchen to the dining table then brought everything over. Serving me then serving himself. "So I was thinking since we only really have today, we can be tourists. See all the sights, take a cable car ride, then there's this really cool rooftop bar we can have lunch at, take a boat ride, then have dinner."
"That sounds like quite the adventure."
"Too much?" He winced.
"No. It's sounds great." His smile returned. "I'm excited."
"I'm glad."
The weekend passed too quickly for my liking. I was having the time of my life, floating on cloud nine, but reality hit. It was time to return home. Back to the cold. Back to the place that didn't have my perfect fairy tale prince. It made me feel sick.
"Do you really have to go?" He said, giving me yet another kiss.
"I really wish I didn't." I leaned into him, chasing after his lips.
"Then stay."
"I have to work."
"Quit." I laughed.
"I'm going to miss my flight." I tried to pull away, finally finding the will, but he pulled me back.
"Good." I basked in his kisses for a moment before stepping away. He frowned. I gave him a kiss on his nose and he only pouted more. "When can we see each other again?"
"Hopefully soon." I wish I had an answer for him, but I didn't. It was up to our schedules. And even though we both made pretty decent money, flights were not cheap, regardless of the points we would accrue. We left the discussion where it was and he carried my suitcase as we left his apartment.
He held my hand as he drove and my heart ached the closer we got to the airport. I suddenly felt the urge to cry once we arrived which was very much unlike me. He turned on his hazards and jumped out of the car with me, getting my suitcase. We then stood in front of each other with sad smiles. He wrapped his arms around me and held me tight.
"See you soon." He said. I nodded and he kissed me one last time before I made my way inside.
Landing in New York, I just felt heavy. I wanted nothing more than to reach my apartment and crawl into my bed. It was only eight at night but I was ready to call it a day. As I waited for my suitcase at baggage claim, I thought I saw a familiar face waiting as well. I chalked it up as being tired and didn't spare a second glance. Turns out, I was right. Of all places.
"Hey Brielle." His voice was like a shock to my system. "Went away for the weekend too?" I didn't roll my eyes and I was proud of myself.
"Yes." I replied stiffly. It wasn't any of his business but I gave him the courtesy to answer anyway.
"Where are you coming from?"
"Visiting my boyfriend." I could have just said San Francisco but I wanted to see his reaction. I wanted him to know that I had moved on. I wanted to see that I was not hung up on him despite what he may have believed.
"Oh." His sad expression did not move me anymore. "Have a good time?" He tried to sound cheerful again.
"I did."
"That's...great." He cleared his throat. I remained silent. "Look, I really don't want any hard feelings between us."
"Then you shouldn't have cheated." I wished they would unload the plane faster.
"I'm sorry Brielle. I fucked up majorly. I was an asshole, a dick – honestly, there is no word to describe how much of a trash human being I was but I've changed."
"Did you?"
"I did." He didn't sound sure of himself as he realized there was more behind my accusation.
"Not too long ago you were telling me how sorry you were and how you wouldn't stop trying to make up for everything and that you still loved me only for me to see you days later flirting with some other woman." I was holding on to that one for too long. It shouldn't have mattered. It really shouldn't have. I had been over him for a long time and now I finally moved on.
"Flirting with who? What are you talking about?" He looked utterly confused.
"At the mixer."
"Mixer?" He repeated. He looked to be furiously wracking his brain. Finally the bags started to appear on the belt. "Oh my – is that why you're mad at me? Bee, I wasn't flirting with her." I arched an eyebrow at him. "Okay, I may have been, but I was just being polite."
"Yeah right." I scoffed.
"Honest. She was the daughter of one of the clients that was invited. I was keeping her occupied while Kyungsoo was schmoozing with her father." Oh. That honestly made sense. I knew how things worked in the corporate world. But...still. "I was working if anything. I promise you, I wasn't flirting with her."
"Still doesn't change anything." I grabbed my bag as soon as I spotted it and started for the exit. I was expecting to hear him run after me, but he didn't.
Getting into my ride, I was immediately on my phone. I subconsciously pulled up Baekhyun's contact. I was so close to sending the text, but reminded myself of Jinyoung. My boyfriend. No more of that with Baekhyun. I didn't know if I was comforted or more frustrated. Fucking Jongin.