(TW: self harm, suicide)
Y/n POV:
As I'm putting the last box into my black Kia soul my sister comes running up to me almost knocking me into the grass
Aurora:"im going to miss you" she says with one singular tear running down her face.
Y/n: " it will be okay it's the best choice for me" I say wile holding her tight as I can.
My whole life I have had no friends at my school, or around me. Getting bullied since elementary really does a toll on a person. My sister and I had an older brother who had passed away when he was 23, I took it a lot harder than my sister she was 4 years old at the time I was 13. I've always dressed on the darker side of things and listened to sadder music.
From around the age of 10 myself I started to self harm because of school and being so alone, but once my brother had passed away is when my first suicide attempt happened. My brother was really the only one there for me and understood me.
Aurora: "will you come visit often?" She asks with a little pout on her face
Y/n : " of course... as much as I can but I really need to be away for a wile, I have more potential in California.
Aurora:" do you need help bringing anything else to the car?
Y/n: " I think this is all" I say as I hug her one last time.
Our mom and dad come out and we all say our goodbyes. I get into the car and open my phone. Tara has texted me
Tara: " hey girl! I cannot wait for you to be here. Jake and I are going to go to the store to get some things for your arrival. Let me know when your leaving and I'll call you tonight"
I message her back
"I'm leaving now! I'm so excited to see you all!"
I open my maps on my phone and click the directions to the hotel I'm going to be staying at in Colorado for the night. I open Spotify and hit shuffle on my playlist Ohio is for lovers by Hawthorne heights plays. I never really got that because it definitely isn't. No one could love me, I haven't even had a single friend here.
Time passes 12:40am (midnight)
I arrive at the hotel and grab out my over night bag I had packed and locked the doors. Once I got myself settled in I texted Tara
Y/n:"hey I made it to the hotel im going to take a shower then I'll FaceTime you"
I put my phone on the bed and start undressing. I go to the bathroom and start the shower, I look at myself in the mirror to start wiping my makeup off. Of course my eyeliner smears my whole face and I end up just leaving it like that hoping the shower will get the rest. I'm standing looking at myself in the mirror looking over my body.
It aches my heart seeing my scars that cover over my arms and my legs, it hurts to even think that the reason they are like that is mostly due to all the bullying. I just don't get why I'm so hated. I jump into the shower and start cleaning myself.
*gets out of the shower*
I dry myself off and wrap my hair in a towel. I throw on my black lace underwear and a baggy Bring me the horizon tshirt and brush my teeth. I take the towel off my hair and try and dry it off the rest I can. I go back over to the bed and FaceTime Tara.
* ringing*
Tara: "hey sexy" she says with a smirk and a huge smile on her face. Jake pokes his head into the screen
Jake: "hey y/n how was your drive"
Y/n: "pretty boring but I kept myself busy being sad in my thoughts"
Tara:" sounds kinda emo to me" she laughs
Y/n:" what else was I suppose to do" I say kind of rolling my eyes.
Jake:" y/n this is my friend Johnnie he lives with me
Johnnie: "hi.." he says covering his face with his hand
Oh goodness he's kind of cute I think to myself
Tara:" he's our emo friend, I think you guys would have a lot in common"
Y/n:" I don't know if that determines anything" I say laughing
We finish up the call by talking about their day and my estimated time I'll be arriving in the morning. I put my phone on the charger and start falling asleep.
*the next morning (8:00am) *
I wake up and rub my eyes and pull my phone off the charger. It's 8:00am I need to get going. I see a instagram notification and I open it. It's a friend request, from Johnnie. I take a little more time scrolling through his profile looking at his pictures.
Okay I must admit he is very attractive, now I am very nervous on even meeting him. I'm such an awkward person and now I find him attractive. Why did he add me? I get my stuff together and get my clothes out for the day.
Today is a big day for me, I get to meet my internet friend for the first time and her boyfriend and now Johnnie.
Why am I even worried about him I just need to play it cool no one is even going to know I think he's cute. I go to the bathroom brush my teeth I slide on a three days of grace T-shirt black jeans with holes all down them, and put on my black and white checkered vans. I look back in the mirror to start doing my makeup. I did my usual the lightest shade of foundation that still seems too dark for my skin, some back under eyeliner and black eyeshadow with mascara.
My hair is pretty straight so all I had to do was brush it to make it look better. I too have the quote on quote OG emo hairstyle. All my layers and fringe with the swoop almost covering one eye. I finish by putting on my bracelets to cover my arms more. I get everything in my car and get going.
* skip to arriving at Taras*
Finally I am home... for now.
I get my phone out and call Tara
*ringing*
Y/n: " so guess what" I say with a smirk on my face.
Y/n :" I'm here " I say getting out of the car walking up to her apartment door.
She hangs up the phone and at the same time she is running out the door and runs right into me with a huge hug that knocks us to the ground.
"Ahhhh my bestfriend is finally here" she says as we both are laughing and trying to get up but still not wanting to let go.
" you are so pretty in person too I cannot believe that"
I say just staring at her.
" me?" She says sounding in shock
"Look at you" she finishes.
Jake comes out and helps me bring in my essentials for now.
"Thank you Jake it's very nice meeting you" I say hugging him.
" not a problem, you are very short like Tara" he says patting my head
"Rude" I say laughing as we all walk in.
"Johnnie is on his way here right now" Jake says shutting the door behind us all.
"Alright" I said with an exciting tone.
Oh no was that obvious. I think in thinking too much into it.
As time passes we get some of my things unpacked I mostly brought my clothes and some random clutter, I don't have much so it was pretty easy.
*knock knock*
"It's Johnnie" Tara says with her happy voice she always has. She opens the door and he comes in.
"Hey bud come here"Jake says hugging him and bringing him over to me.
"Hey y/n" he says to me kind of nervously
"Hey" I say back to him.
We just stand there looking at each other for a minute. His blue eyes are so mesmerizing. The way his hair looks messy but also very attractive at the same time.
"Okayy... that was kind of awkward" Tara broke the silence.
"I'm sorry" Johnnie says and hugs me.
"Hopefully that broke the awkwardness" he said but actually just made it more awkward.
I go and sit on the couch and Tara and Jake go into the kitchen.
"So how was your trip" Johnnie says sitting next to me
"Very long" I say chuckling
" but it's worth it I get to be with my bestfriend now"
" we are all excited to have you here" he said smiling at me.
Oh my god his smile is cute too. We just sit there looking at each other again not saying a word. I wonder what he's thinking. Omg I feel so sweaty and nervous.
" want to put on some music" he says grabbing the remote to the tv.
"Yeah, sure" I say hoping it will kill the silence.
He turns on some mcr and we just sit there again.
"Alright I'm heading out for the night you coming Johnnie" Jake says
" sure" he kind of shrugs
" we should be seeing each other tomorrow" he says looking me in the eyes so deeply. Why is he looking so deeply.
Tara comes into the living room with me and sits down.
"Sooo how are you feeling? What do you want to do?" She says with excitement in her voice.
" I'm very tired" I say fidgeting my hands
" well let's get some sleep we got shopping to do tomorrow " she says as I follow her to the room.
We hop in the same bed that we will be sharing for now until we can clean out her spare room that she just has extra clothes in.
"Why was that so awkward " she asks
"Why? What was?" I say very nervously
"Johnnie" she said leaning up looking at me with a smirk
"Hmmm I don't know"
" y/n come on I've known you for 2 years maybe not in person but I definitely know when something is off" she says in a very serious tone.
" you know" what did I even say. I'm so dumb obviously she doesn't know.
" do you think he's cute? " she says with her hand over her wide open mouth and her eyes wide.
" stop Tara" i said starting to blush
" y/n! That would be so cute. We need to get this happing"
"What happening" I say very concerned
" you know" she says smirking repeating how I answered previously.
I knew what she meant. But I don't think it would even happen. No one likes me like that. Ohio isn't for lovers why would California be?
🫶🏻Sorry for a long chapter I'm going to try and make them very lengthy. How do you guys feel about this so far. This one was pretty much a short backstory and a setting for the storyline. I am sorry if it wasn't that interesting but now since we got here we can get more juicier.
This chapters music reference is "Ohio is for lovers" Hawthorne heights
Word count: 1904