You went to the palace the next day, not expecting what you were walking into. To your belief it was a normal day but instead you found out it was the first day of mourning for the previous crown prince. You and Ms Kim stood there for a few minutes taking everything in.
"My lady, it's best we head home and put you into some suitable attire." You nodded in agreement, definitely not wanting to be disrespectful towards anyone during this period. Once you had changed you headed back to the palace, in your full white attire. Walking through the palace, you headed straight for the queens quarters as you hoped to see one of her sons although you were hoping to avoid her now eldest.
"Y/n?" You heard your name called and stopped in your tracks, whispering a curse word under your breath. You turned to look at the boy. Putting on a fake smile.
"Why are you here?" He asked bluntly, not caring for his mother's presence or anyone else that was around.
"Prince Uiseong!" His mother spoke harshly to the boy. "My apologies Lady Y/n, as I'm sure you've heard now the sudden passing of the crown prince has shocked us all. Some people are very hurt by this." She said trying to act as if Uiseong and the crown prince were so close and this news had destroyed him, but in reality you knew he was over the moon with this news as it gave him a chance for the crown.
"Well why are you here?" Uiseong persisted as if his mums excuse granted him immunity for whatever else he wanted to say.
"I'm here to visit the grand princes." You said immediately knowing your fiance was about to have a tantrum.
"Why them and not me?"
"Well it was their older brother who they had a much closer bond with-"
"He was my older brother too, Y/n." He said before walking off. You hated the feeling you got when you were even close to that boy, you couldn't class him as a man as he was way too immature. You felt so wrong and as if you were always in trouble. You could chase after him but in the nicest way possible you couldn't care less about him.
You walked on to the Queens quarters, she wouldn't leave her room and no one was particularly shocked by this. It was her eldest son. You walked over to the princes rooms. The four of them already huddled together in Muans room.
"Is this a meeting?" You asked as you entered. They all looked up at you like deers in headlights. You smiled trying to bring a bit of positivity to the boys.
"You shouldn't be here." Seongnam was the first to speak , he didn't look at you. You looked around at the boys , all four of them hurt but Seongnam very clearly the most impacted despite knowing his older brother for the least amount of time.
"I think you're wrong there." You said sitting in between the two youngest. "This is a tough time for you all, and I want you to know that I'm here for you if you need me. You four are the grand princes , this means the title of crown prince will most likely go to one of the four of you. It's horrible but the four of you need to prepare yourselves."
"Y/n our brother just died." Muan said across from you.
"I'm aware , and as I said I'm here for you all during this period of mourning if you need me but whilst we mourn other princes are preparing themselves to take the role of crown prince." You spoke with honesty. The four went silent. The younger three looking at Seongnam as if they needed the now oldest to decide for them what to do. He looked at you.
"I want to talk to you first. Before any more of this crown Prince conversation." Seongnam said, causing ooos from his childish brothers. You were a-bit confused by his need to talk to you.
"Talk then."
"Privately." This caused the boys ooos to get even louder.
"Let's talk then." You said getting up and leaving the room first, he got up and followed. You walked along the corridor to his room, entering and sitting at the seat typically the one with higher status would. "What do we need to talk about."
"The other day. When we met in the city. Please answer my question." You looked at him. Did he really care this much to know your opinion.
"I don't hate you. If I hated you I wouldn't be here." You spoke honestly.
"Why are you here? Shouldn't you be with Uiseong , trying to help him get the throne."
"I don't want him to be king and I certainly don't want to be his queen." You were blunt but truthful.
"But you would be Queen?"
"Not his." You replied. "I used to like him but now...sorry I shouldn't bother you with all of this." You said stopping yourself from getting too close with Seongnam.
"I've been saying for years that he's a horrible guy." Seongnam spoke as if he was some wise know it all.
"Yes well until recently you lived up to that description too." He acted offended to your words but you just laughed lightly. "I hope you know I mean no harm."
"Ofcourse I know you mean no harm." He smiled at you. But what you didn't know was he was itching to ask something else. Something that was completely inappropriate to ask a to be wed woman. But he so wanted to ask you it. However he kept quiet , not for himself but for you.
A few days passed and it was clear that all the princes were aware they may be the next crown prince. All preparing to showcase their talents to the King.
"Gyeseong , please read chapter 7." You spoke sitting across from the grand princes. You weren't a master of education but the Queen was still mourning and you knew that these boys needed to crack on with learning or else they will lose their chances for the crown. He began reading it out, a series of difficult words with difficult meanings. "Wrong. Muan, please continue." You listened as the two middle sons got it incorrect. "Ilyoung ah please continue."
"Why do you speak to him so nicely?" Muan muttered.
"Because he's gotten more correct answers than you." You said to the second eldest.
"Face it brother you're neither beauty nor brain." Gyeseong said patting his older brother on the shoulder.
"Hey-"
"You four need to be serious about this. As we speak the Queen dowager is meeting with other princes to decide who she will 'sponsor' in this race. You need to prove that you four are the worthy candidates." Whilst saying this you looked at Seongnam. You could tell it was like he wasn't really here. He got up and left as if he knew you noticed and didn't want to be questioned.
A week later, Seongnam had locked himself into his room. You came to visit. The eunuch was about to announce you but you stopped him. Walking into the room, despite all light being blocked you knew your way around. Arriving infront of the boy who was hiding.
He looked up at you but didn't say a word, he turned his head as if he was ashamed of this all. You crouched down to be at his level.
"Why do you hide yourself?"
"It's too much Y/n. Don't act like it's not. I can't even pretend anymore. I want to leave this place, it's choking me." He said grabbing onto his collar.
"Seongnam-"
"No stop. People act like because I'm a grand Prince I can have anything I want but the two things I want the most I can't have."
"What are those things?"
"Why do you care? You hate me."
"I told you I don't. Who's sprouted that thought in your head."
"Did you forget our relationship?"
"No...but did you?" He looked at you. "Did you forget the times you went out of your way to either embarrass me or say a rude comment as if I wasn't even there and despite that I still came to the palace-"
"You weren't kind to me either-"
"Well would you be kind to someone who made fun of you daily?!" You said getting angry at the boy, you didn't intend to but all the memories flashing into your head made your emotions run wild.
"We've improved so much recently and we should keep it that way, let the past be nothing more than the past." You said calming yourself down.
"That doesn't change anything. I want to leave this place."
"Seongnam, you're the eldest grand prince. You are the textbook heir. You can't leave this place." You said the honest truth and although it was painful it couldn't be hidden.
"Now what were the two things you wanted?" You asked trying to distract the negative conversation.
"...my brother back." Hearing that as the first one pained your heart. "I feel like nobody in the palace wanted me here but him." He said beginning to get emotional. You took his hand in yours and sat down next to him.
"That's not the truth, I want you here."
"Y/n you aren't in the palace."
"Well I'm pretty sure we are in the palace right now." You said trying to pass the bad try to be funny as a decent joke. He let out an amused sigh but it wasn't from the joke but instead the attempt.
"Now what was the second thing?" You asked looking at him. He looked directly at you.
"A wife." Although you thought he didn't mean you, it felt like he meant you. Staring at you and then saying that word. You were very pleased there wasn't much light because your cheeks were bright red, you could feel the heat rising to them.
"Well I have plenty of friends maybe I should introduce one to you-"
"No. I know the woman I want to marry. That's how I know I want to leave the palace because I can still be with her outside of it." It felt like the dynamic changed, he was the one now holding your hand.
"Seongnam I..." he looked at you with some hope that maybe you read between the lines. "I want to meet this girl. I need to see she's the right fit for you, you know? After all I have seen the worst and best of you." You said trying to persuade him to let you meet her.
"Maybe."
"Maybe?"
"Well let's be honest y/n your love life isn't anything to grant you some sort of special title in the love department."
"Huh? You seem to be fine now, let's crack open a textbook shall we?" You said to the boy in a joking manner.
"A textbook seriously?" He asked joking back.
"Yeah well you need it, all brawn's and no brain...however last time I saw you shoot you didn't even hit the target."
"Well- that- uh- was- well- it- ugh."
"Well that uh was well it ugh." You said making fun of his stuttering.
"You're so horrible." He laughed, you laughed back.
"I learnt it all from you." You said continuing the laughter.
"I wish I could joke around with Uiseong like this" you said your thoughts , the boy next to you just looked at you. "What?"
"Then why are you marrying him?" You sighed, pulling your hand out of his. "I'm serious Y/n. You don't like him at all, you always tell me about it. Me. So why marry him? Marry someone else."
"Let's not start this. We go over this almost every time we talk."
"And you never give me a decent reason as why you are staying with him."
"Well he'll get other wives so it's not like I'll be stuck with him-"
"Other wives? Y/n he should want you to be his only wife. He shouldn't already be thinking of who else he will marry."
"It would happen with any man I marry-"
"Not me." You paused looking at him, his quick answer made you catch your breath in your throat. The two of you just stared at each other for a few seconds, although it felt like an hour."I mean I wouldn't get other wives when I'm already married not that I want to marry you." Seongnam tried playing it off. Looking away but you just stared at him. He kept glancing at you though to see if you had a reaction. You didn't say anything and got up, leaving and heading to the yard area of the queens quarters. Seongnam followed you, running. Once out he grabbed your wrist. "I didn't mean any respect-"
"Don't focus on me, focus on becoming crown prince. Make your mother proud. You're meant to be in a class right now." You said trying to leave.
"Will you be proud too?" He asked stopping you, you tried to leave again. "Nope. I'm not letting you leave like last time, answer the question."
"Yes I will be, now let me go before someone gets the wrong idea." You said pulling your arm away and walking to leave. He watched you go and couldn't help but let a smile form on his face. He ran back to his room to get ready for his lesson.
He got to the school, and it seemed to be at the perfect time. Just as Uiseong opened his mouth to offend Muan.
"Grand Prince Muan, I'm afraid we shall have to wait and see which one of us will don the robes." Uiseong said not even bothering to look at any of the crown princes let alone turn his head to face them.
"What is there to wait for and see?" Seongnam asked as he entered the room. The other grand princes greeting him happily to finally see their brother back. All the other princes except Uiseong looked at the eldest.
"It seems you're not dead yet, your highness. I haven't seen you in a while, I was expecting there'd be another funeral. But I guess my wife to be has kept you busy." Uiseong said throwing you into the mix as if you were nothing more than a ruined rag into a fire.
"Mind your business." Seongnam asserted to the boy. "Forget the title as well. That does not concern you either."
"It doesn't concern me? Mind my business? We are all stems from the same tree-"
"But as the saying goes, we shouldn't climb trees that are too high. Or else it can worry our parents." Prince Bogum spoke up. All the princes were shocked by this.
"What was that, you prick?" Uiseong said, very clearly pissed off.
As soon as the lesson finished Uiseong was 'putting Bogum in his place'. The two were sword fighting, whilst Uiseong lectured the younger.
"How dare you say that to me! It's something I can't get unlike you.You're nothing more than the son of a former maid of the Queen." Uiseong said smirking horribly at his younger brother. "So pick your side carefully, if you wish for your mother to live peacefully in the palace."
Uiseong expected the younger to back down but Bogum went at him with his sword, cutting Uiseongs robe in the process. And it just caused Uiseong to fully go at him. You arrived to the scene as Bogum fell to the floor, his sword leaving his hand.
"Now beg, get on your knees and beg. I'll grant you forgiveness."
"I'd rather be slain."
"Why, you little-"
"Stop!" You ran over getting to Bogum and helping him up. "Are you crazy?" You looked at Uiseong.
"Are you? Do you not think I won't hurt you with this?!" He said letting out his anger.
"What?" You let out shocked.
"I said do you not think I would hurt an unfaithful bitch?!" He shouted into your face.
"Are those really the words you use to describe me?"
"They fit perfectly." He said getting into your face. "NOW LEAVE OR ELSE YOU WONT BE ABLE TO."
"You're threatening me?!" You shouted at Uiseong, the three other princes just watched from the sidelines. Uiseong just sighed.
"I warned you." He said lifting his sword. You closed your eyes. You expected an impact but instead it never happened. You opened your eyes to find a sword case defending you.
"Are you really going to kill the daughter of the most influential family in Korea? Your wife to be?" Seongnam asked as he defended you. Uiseong looked at Seongnam, his anger just growing.
"Wife to be? She's an unfaithful bitch." Uiseong let out staring right into your eyes before going right for Seongnam. The two fought but Uiseong was no match for Seongnam and was quickly on the ground like Prince Bogum was a few minutes ago.
You watched on the sidelines with Prince Bogum, trying to comfort the shocked boy. You both stood there as Seongnam stood over Uiseong, pointing Uiseongs own blade at his neck.
"Have you gone mad?"
"Since the crown prince croaked?"
"Watch your mouth."
"Rumour is your mother killed him. Have you heard?" Uiseong pushed the grand Prince , causing Seongnam to raise the blade with intention to strike.
"WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING?!" You all stopped looking over to find your father. "You will step back and withdraw your sword at once." He asserted but Seongnam just stared at the boy on the ground, anger growing inside him. "Withdraw your sword." Seongnam chucked the sword to the side, still glaring at the boy on the floor.
"Father" you ran over to your father.
"Why are you here and what has happened? Why was grand Prince Seongnam about to hit Prince Uiseong with his blade?" Your father asked.
"It isn't how it looks , they were practicing."
"I heard shouting."
"Both physically and verbally. They're both getting better at it-"
"Ah" your father acted as if your words were giving him a headache. "Grand Prince Seongnam lets go and have a chat. The rest of you better not continue or I will have to get the Queen involved." Seongnam went with your father leaving you and the other princes.
"We will take our leave." You said signalling you and Bogum.
"Once you're done, come to my quarters so we can speak." Uiseong said, picking up his sword. "Don't be too long." He warned, you couldn't help but gulp.
Once walking Bogum back to his quarters you didn't know what to do. Yeah you probably should go straight to Uiseong but you didn't really want to deal with him. On the other hand you could go to see the Queen , but that would inevitably annoy Uiseong more. But then again you're already in the mud so it wouldn't do too much harm. You decided to head to the queen, after all Ms Kim was there too and you wanted her to be with you when you visited Uiseong. As a witness.
"Your highness, Lady Y/n is here." You were announced as you went to enter the room.
"Let her in." All the princes were shocked to hear their mother say that. After all they were all practically naked in an ice bath. The Queen however saw no harm. When you walked in they all tried their best to cover themselves. You walked over to the Queen.
"Sorry to bother you, I just came to see Ms Kim." You said smiling and you knew the princes were there but it wasn't appropriate for you to blatantly look over. Especially with Muan, Gyeseong and Ilyoung there. You tried to only look at the queen.
"She's with my senior court lady, she should be back soon. Are you leaving for the day already?"
"Oh no, I have to go and see Prince Uiseong. I was just hoping that ms Kim would attend with me." Seongnam looked at you hearing this, hoping you would feel his gaze and look at him . And although you did feel the gaze you didn't dare look.
"Well take a seat whilst you wait." The Queen offered.
"Maybe it's best I wait outside." You suggested and the queen looked over to find all her sons trying to cover up their bodies shyly. She couldn't help but smirk. You left and soon after you did the four boys piled onto each other for some warmth.
The boys finished before Ms Kim returned. The Queen left first with her three younger sons following behind. Seongnam was the last to leave.
"You're going to see him after earlier?"
"I have to."
"You have to call it off. That's what you have to do."
"Can you stop with this. Please. Do I need to get down on my knees and beg for you to stop?"
"Y/n I don't mean it like that-"
"Just go and become the crown prince. Leave me alone." You said walking off. He watched you go and sighed before heading in the opposite direction.
You found Ms Kim and the two of you headed over to Uiseongs quarters. He was sat there waiting, your mind immediately thought he had been planning what to say.
"I thought I said not to take too long."
"I apologise, I needed to get Ms Kim as I intend to leave for the day after this chat." You said politely apologising to the Prince. He let out a breathy laugh.
"Now you talk to me politely, when we're in private. Whilst you scream at me infront of my brothers." You went silent. "We're meant to be getting married and you're not helping any of this. Do you know how stressed I am? I'm trying to ensure I can be crown prince so we can become the king and queen. Whilst you're out spending your time with the four I despise the most."
"I apologise, I didn't comprehend the stress you were under. What would you wish me to do?"
"Never see the grand princes without me present." You were shocked by this but tried to stay composed. Ms Kim however had her eyes nearly leave her sockets. "If we are to be husband and wife I need to have you by my side not theirs. If you would prefer Seongnams presence then let's end this arrangement-"
"No." Uiseong smirked hearing this. "I will be your wife."
"You can go now." He said dismissing you as if you were so low compared to him.
You and Ms Kim left. She couldn't help but hit your arm.
"Are you seriously going to do this? After all the Queen has done for you?"
"He never said I couldn't see the Queen."
"My lady, he's being far too controlling. Can't you see that?"
"I'm just trying to ensure I get married."
"To a man you don't love?"
"Love? There's no man that currently has my heart so why does that matter?"
"I believe you're wrong there." You just looked over at her. "Marriage is an eternal bond my lady, it's a sacred bond that should be shared between two that love each other. Not two that are trying to benefit off of each other."