He couldn't get it up. Oh my god. He couldn't get it up. Alex has never had an issue getting it up. Especially around Henry– usually he can't get it down. But last night when he and Henry were getting hot and heavy, Henry reached into his pants to find him... unprepared to go further. Henry tried working him for a few minutes before Alex finally just said he was stressed and left the room, saying he had to work. Really he went right to the internet and found that Adderall can cause erectile dysfunction. Fuck. Fuck!
They are getting married in two days. Then they are going on their honeymoon. Alex has to stop with the Adderall. Immediately.
There was something else he needed to get started with immediately. And he really doesn't want to talk to Henry about what happened last night, so he wakes up early and knocks on June and Nora's door.
"Hey. Guys?" he whisper-yells through the door. He slowly cracks it open.
"Whatttt?" Nora whines.
"Come get breakfast with me?"
"Dad will make breakfast in a bit," June joins in, still with her eyes closed.
"Come on guys, please? I need you."
That is enough. He never was very good at asking for help, so when he does, June and Nora understand he really needs it. He isn't really sure what he's going to say to them, but he just needs to be away from Henry for a bit, and he doesn't want to be alone.
"So.." Alex starts as he drives towards downtown.
"Coffee first," June says sleepily, and so Alex waits until they are sitting at a table at the pancake house in Austin, three coffees on the table, before trying to start the conversation again.
"So... I, uh, still haven't written my vows."
"What!" June slams her coffee down, nearly spilling it.
"I know, I know. I've just been so busy."
"Oh, Alex. The wedding is in two days."
"And your agenda is pretty full until then," Nora chimes in.
"I know that too. Listen I could really use some help."
"Alex." June reaches a hand across the table. "Are you doing ok? You're always running at full speed. You haven't stopped working and campaigning all through your wedding and it's going to be thousands of people and live-streamed across the world. You haven't slowed down for a second, to just be with Henry and enjoy this."
"That's what the honeymoon is for." Alex raises his eyebrows.
"No, don't use your charm to get out of this. You know what I mean."
"It's just the pre-wedding that's a lot. It's a lot for most people, just a bit more for us. The actual day is going to be perfect and so is the honeymoon. Thanks, largely, to you two. I just need you to help me write these vows."
June takes a deep breath. "Ok."
Pancakes arrive shortly after. In between large bites, Nora says, "1 to 2 minutes of talking would equivocate to about 150-250 words. You want it to be personal and impactful to Henry, but you don't want it to be too personal because it'll be on live TV. What is it exactly you want to say?"
"I don't know, that's why I'm asking for help!"
June covers his hand with hers. "What comes to mind? When you think about him?"
Alex thinks for a moment. Takes a breath. Closes his eyes. "His hair. His eyes. The look on his face when I say something sly. His ass."
June snaps her fingers in front of his closed eyes, startling them open. "Be serious!"
"I am very serious when it comes to my fiancé's ass."
"But you can't talk about it in front of millions of people."
"Those millions of people have already read much more intimate details in our letters."
"Yes and I'm sure a re-creation of being outed is exactly when Henry wants on his wedding day. Now please, what else?"
"The way Henry uses words. It's so beautiful. It's like he paints a picture with words of the most indescribable feelings. I don't know how he does that." Alex realizes something, and his tone turns grave. "I can't do that. I'll never be able to do it. His vows are going to be a work of art and no matter what I write, they'll pale in comparison."
"Oh Alex. I'm sure he already knows how you feel about him, but you've never been good at actually saying what you feel. Henry just wants to hear how much you love and care for him, and I know how much you do. It can be a little cheesy, as long as it's honest, Henry will love it."
---
Later, back at the house, Alex is taking his wedding tux out of the garment bag. Henry is with his family and Pez (and has taken David with him). June, Nora, and his parents are waiting out in the living room to see it. June and Nora had already seen it in New York and helped him pick it out, but his parents haven't yet.
As he pulls the zipper down, the golden roses begin to peak out. The suit is a silvery dark gray, the collar and lapels are a deep black velvet, and embroidered in a bright golden thread is an interweaving pattern of roses: the yellow rose of Texas. Alex had it custom made. To go with it, black velvet pants, black shirt, and a black bow tie.
He steps out into the living room.
"Oh darlin'," his mother exclaims and rushes over to hug him. "You look wonderful, baby." She steps back again and Alex straightens his jacket. His father is smiling and shaking his head.
Leo has a goofy smile on his face as he reaches for his mother, holding her back from rushing Alex again. "Lookin' great, Alex," Leo says.
"Sharp-looking, son. Very nice," Oscar finally says.
June, meanwhile, is eyeing him suspiciously. "It doesn't fit as well as it did last time. Seems a bit big."
Alex feels suddenly self-conscious. "Well, I may have lost a few pounds."
"I'll call a tailor," Nora says, already on her phone.
"They should be able to fix it before the wedding," his father reassures him.
"Have you been eating enough, baby?"
"Yeah, mom, I'm fine."
"Didn't we already have it taken in once?" June narrows her eyes at him.
"Tailer can take it and get it done before the wedding, but we have to head there now," Nora cuts in after hanging up the phone.
---
Tonight is his last night sharing a bed with Henry before the wedding. They decided to keep some traditions, so the night before the wedding they would spend apart. But Alex is scared. He doesn't want to go to bed because he knows as soon as he does, Henry would want to talk. He knows he probably has to tell Henry about the Adderall eventually, but he couldn't do that to him two nights before the wedding. And he doesn't know what else to say to Henry. One more day. Alex could keep it together for one more day. For Henry.
So Alex told Henry he had to work, and went down to the docks with a notebook and pen. He sat there, dangling his legs in the water, trying to find the words to describe what it felt like to find the person he was destined for, and, despite all their challenges, be able to marry and spend the rest of his life with that person who makes him the happiest in the world.
---
The final day before the wedding is packed. They have a strict schedule from the morning, and Alex and Henry spend a lot of it apart. There is the trial run for make-up and hair. Both boys get their nails trimmed and polished. They practice their dance one final time, on the actual dance floor, and Alex doesn't mess up any of the steps. The band does the song live and practices some more of their set as well; Alex has to admit they sound fantastic.
They are actually going to pull this off.
A/N: I want to be clear that while Alex's food and weight issue is not a separate eating disorder issue, but the Adderall addiction which is making him lose his appetite and lose weight (which are actual side effects of Adderall addiction according to my research).
Also, Alex's wedding suit is inspired by the suit he wears in the movie for the New Year's party scene.