D.M
As a person that really don't give a fuck about saying anything, I really do give a fuck about what I say now.
It's not like it's necessarily bad or anything but I just don't know how it would resonate with Nadalia. I also do like the girl like for real, not that it was that much of a secret to begin with but it was most definitely hidden inside me for awhile and I know why it was. I also wouldn't mind dating her in the future but who knows if that'll even be a thought for her after she heard my explanation. She could be thinking I'm bull-shitting or just not want to wait around for me and I get that, I wouldn't blame her at all but it'll still suck.
I definitely should've had a blunt rolled for this but oh well, let's just get it over with.
"Alright so imma just start off on why I don't do relationships. Is that cool?"
I really don't know why I was asking but I guess I just wanted to give her an open if she ain't really want to hear about that first.
She rapidly shook her head as she sat up more straight, "yeah of course Dakota."
Her tone was confident and comforting which gave me the go to start.
"Well the reason behind my disdain for relationships stems from my parents," I started off as I looked back to Nadalia's face to see her expression displayed her intently listening.
"My parents were— been together for eighteen years. They started dating at nineteen and my mama fount out about me six months in so I'm deadass an accident on the highest key," I laughed a bit to which Nadalia followed suit in. Im always one to cover hard shit up with a joke and I wanted to just make the atmosphere more relaxed as I gave this backstory to the bigger one.
"My pops then proposed to my mom on the day she fount out she was pregnant with me when they were twenty. Growing up I always was witness to my parents joy and love so much that it obviously radiated onto me and resulted into me having a real good upbringing," I paused in my words as I noticed Nadalia scoot towards me more. The action showed me that she was trying to comfort me, which i appreciated.
Clearing my throat, I continued.
"Their love really made me excited for my own believe it or not but that was until five years ago when shit noticeably started to go downhill. It started with petty arguments to other stupid bickering. Then when they would get into it they would use me, my dad more so."
Nadalia's eyebrows furrowed deeply to the last of my words. I wondered what she was thinking but instead of stopping to ask I continued.
"My dad would try to be extra attentive or involved with me when he and my mom were in it so he could have me on his side or be on my good one type shit. Now my mama would put me in it but not as bad— but she would always come to me telling me what they had going on. The shit was tiring as hell and just draining and it only got worse for them and me. So from then I started getting more into my art by doing customs and canvases so I could save up to move out and yeah."
I took a deep inhale as I didn't know what else to say. It wasn't that hard now that I finished but I most definitely need to smoke.
"So that's why you don't do relationships? Because you think it will be like your parents?" The girl next to me spoke in a soft voice with soft but questioning eyes.
I was glad to not have sense any type of judgment from her as I always thought explaining my reasoning behind my whole ordeal to people would come off as me being too sensitive or it being a not valid reason. Even though I know it's valid and it don't make me sensitive. Don't mean I want other people to see it in that way.
"Yeah In a way, and I know that all relationships don't last forever but I just feel that I'm a lover due to how I experienced my parents love towards each other so if it don't work out I'll feel like.. I don't even know," I knew what I wanted to say but I just ain't know how to say it and i lowkey ain't want to say more as I was starting to feel a little uncomfortable with my vulnerability.
Nadalia nodded as she took in my words and I can see how she was processing it in order to respond herself.
"I understand now Dakota, and I'm sorry you had to go through that and still are affected in a way over it. I'm glad you told me this as it also helped my overthinking," she chuckled a bit which made my lip twitch into a small smile.
Before she could continue with what else she would've said. I opened mg mouth quick to reply.
"It's cool you know, I'm cool because since I'm self aware of what it is and why. I can start to work on it."
She acknowledged my words with a focused nod which gave me the go to keep going.
"Dolly I do like you, I've said that before and I'm not bullshitting you. Shit I even subconsciously drew—" I paused in my words with a quickness as I really almost just gave myself up like that, "I just don't want to try and get involved in something with you right now because I don't want to fuck it up myself you know? Also you never been in a relationship and you're young so I don't want that experience to be short for you if you deal with me cause like I said. If I'm to take someone serious I'm looking at something long term."
I watched as Nadalia's smile couldn't be held back anymore as she quickly turned away from me and began to shift in her position to move further from me.
I smirked at the action as I always thought her shyness to me was cute. I liked making her flustered.
Before I knew it, my hand was reaching out to her thigh to slightly rub it. Bringing her attention back to me.
"You hear me?"
She nodded slowly as she allowed her eyes to roam my face and for mine to roam hers. A few beats later she was clearing her throat and taking a sip of her water.
"Um so where are we going or doing next?" She asked with a nervous smile. I laughed lowly as I shook my head slightly before answering her question.
<33
N.S
After me and Dakota's talk, I felt a thousand times better. Even though I deeply felt saddened by her story due to knowing my parents are still what hers used to be, I was relieved to know it didn't have anything to do with me or her just being a player or something. I was even more glad that she reassured her crush for me, I feel like it was enough to make my brain lay at rest.
Now and me and Dakota are in her car on our way to our first destination which she still hasn't told me what it was to my dismay. I was way too excited for what it would be even though I just badly wanted an idea of what it was.
The car ride was nice as we just had small talk while the radio played her playlist at a low volume. I was even able to not feel extra nervous and flustered doing so and I felt the talk had a play in it.
"Alright you ready for the reveal?" Dakota questioned as we were pulling into a parking space. I looked around to see that it was a lot of things that was around us such as shops, restaurants and more so I didn't even have a guess.
"Yes please I can't wait no more!"
She briefly laughed as she turned off the car and unbuckled her seatbelt, "alright come on." She spoke as she opened her side of the door. I hurriedly unbuckled my own seatbelt and gathered my bag as I exited from my side of the vehicle as well.
I then fell into stride beside her as we took a short walk to a big building. The words reading World Of Ilusions. As soon as I was done reading the words I turned to Dakota with a bright smile.
"No way! I always wanted to come to one of these."
She smiled I return, "me too, I like shit like this so I was like why not bring you with me. I haven't been here yet so—" I watched as she began rubbing her arm with her hand. I started to pick up that this is one of the things she does when she's nervous and I thought it was really cute since it's rare I ever seen her nervous about something that has to do with me.
Soon after noticing the act, I brought my hand out to hold hers in my hand. I probably would've been way nervous doing this any other time or day but right now I wasn't that much.
"Let's go!" I said in excitement watching her smile stretch on her face before we began walking into the museum.
<33
The two girls time at the museum was full of fun as they took many pictures and videos, shared many laughs among many conversations. They both thoroughly enjoyed their time at the museum as they both decided that they definitely should do more things like this together.
As they were back in the car, Nadalia was thinking to herself would this be considered a date or just a hangout between friends. She so badly wanted it to be considered a date being that whenever she imagined a date, this would've been one. Especially since the two were now on their way to a diner. Nadalia wanted to ask what today was but didn't want to make the atmosphere weird so she decided to leave it alone.
On the other hand. Dakota definitely considered this a date. Not an official one but one nonetheless.
Soon after the two was pulling up into the parking lot of the Diner and exiting the car as they walked side by side into the establishment. They were sat in a both in the far corner of the establishment as they were then given menus.
"So what you thinking about getting?" Asked Dakota once she was done browsing the menu and deciding on what she wanted to eat.
Nadalia sat her menu down as she looked up and across the table at Dakota.
"I'm going to go with the Toasted Almond Waffle with the turkey bacon strips, how about you?"
"The breakfast sandwich, I'm not too big on sweet breakfast foods," Dakota replied with a turned up face. This news made Nadalia dramatically gasp.
"How can you not be too big on waffles? They're so bomb!"
Dakota laughed briefly, "I don't know I've always been like that, but I'll try yours." She said as she folded her hands on the table.
Nadalia wasn't sure what it was. If it was her voice or just her mind that made the sentence seem more flirty then what it probably was intended to be.
"If only I can try yours." She said in response with a small smile as she brought her hands to the table. Tapping her nails against the wood.
"Of course Dolly it's only fair," She replied in a sarcastic tone with pulled a short laugh from Nadalia. Dakota then looked down at Nadalia's fingers and the cause of the light sounds.
She drew her eyebrows together as she reached out to grab the girl's hand, "what happened to you nail?" She asked.
Nadalia took awhile to answer the question as the soft and warm feeling of her crush's hand caused her stomach to flip and her body heat rise.
"Oh—um I had gotten it slammed in the door," She answered with a nervous chuckle as she pulled her hand back and placed it onto her lap.
Dakota hummed in reply for a moment before she she realized how she mentioned to Tiana how she wanted her to do her own nails along with someone else's who we all know was Nadalia. Seeing that her nail was chipped was actually an even better excuse to bring it up to the girl.
"You know Tee do nails, I was gonna have her do mine cause she finna start doing this little halloween thing so let me get— let me know when you want them done and I can have her over to do them," She spoke. Dakota was internally chastising herself as that's not what she really wanted to say. She wanted to tell the other girl to let her get them done for her but she pussied out which was odd her since she was always really blunt with her words and not scared to apply pressure. She was starting to feel like she was slowly losing her touch.
Nadalia thought the offer was sweet and immediately agreed to along with a date that she would be able to work with which was good to Dakota as well.
The two girl's conversation was interrupted as the waitress came to receive their order to which they then gave before falling into conversation regarding their classes and businesses.
<33
D.M
Me and Nadalia was now in the parking of my apartments. After we had ate we stayed there a bit longer to just chat some more before we noticed it was getting late and Nadalia had to be going home soon but I ain't want her to leave quite yet.
"Wanna hit this real quick?" I asked as I pulled the joint from my the center console compartment.
I watched as her face displayed unsureness before she ultimately molded her head yes to.
"Are you sure? You don't have to."
"No I'm sure, but only twice you know I'm not a smoker."
I chuckled as I recalled her saying she prefers drinking. I then wondered since she only smoked once with Indiah and the other times with me, was that a sign of trust?
Alright I'm reading too much into it
I fixed the joint before turning up the music a bit more before I began lighting the paper and bringing it to my lips to inhale.
The effects of the plant already flowing through me. It's crazy cause I ain't smoke all day and I didn't really need to now but it always felt good to and it relaxed me. Also it was my excuse to keep miss Scorpio a little longer.
I took three puffs before passing the joint over to Nadalia. I kept my eyes on her and watched as she always held the wrapped product with her other three fingers stood out straight. Even though it was funny in looks it was cute.
She took a small inhale and exhale making me smack my teeth.
Her head snapped to me,"why you doing that?" She asked with a small frown.
Is hooked my bad as I held my fingers towards her
"Here give me it." She looked at me a moment longer before lightly smacking her lips and giving me the joint. I brought the joint to my own lips before inhaling enough of the smoke, holding it in.
"Come here real quick" I spoke behind the smoke and watched as she scooted closer to where the center console pushed into her. I brought my face closer to hers and watched as she lightly jerked hers back, "do your lips like how you would blow a bubble. Open a little more" I rushed out as the smoke was getting harder to hold.
She obeyed the command quick and simple as I got closer to her lips, "inhale."
I then slowly pushed the smoke out of my mouth into hers. A few seconds later I pulled my face back a bit to look at her as I noticed her eyes were shut.
"Like that?" She asked in a whisper. Too consumed by her voice and face I whispered back myself "yeah, can I kiss you?"
My question brought her eyelids to reveal her pretty brown eyes to me as she looked between mine with a quickness. She nodded her head yes.
"Are you going to act weird again after?" She asked as her eyes dropped to my lips making me mindlessly lick them.
"Are you going to apologize afterwards again?" I smartly said back.
She lightly scoffed and was on her way to open her mouth to say something more to which I put a stop to as I used my left hand to the side of her head and bringing it closer to me as I placed my lips upon hers.
It started as a soft kiss that tasted of weed and her coconut flavored lipgloss that soon turned into a more harder one that I could be the one to blame for as I soon became addicted to her lips. They just fit with mines so well and tasted even better.
Even though I really wanted to slip in tongue I decided against it being that I didn't want to come on strong and scare her. So instead I started to bring my lips away from hers and place them on her cheeks and a path to her ear..
"Fuck!" I exclaimed as I pulled from her quickly. I was so entranced by her I forgot I was holding the joint still and the shit burned me. And not just that, I dropped the little bitch on my car floor.
With quick moves I picked it up and threw it outside the car before closing it and then examining my finger. That was until I heard a certain someone laughing they ass off besides me.
"Oh so that shit funny huh?"
Her laugh became harder as her words were spoken between it "oh my god I'm sorry but that was hilarious!"
I rolled my eyes with a small smile of my own.
"It was embarrassing, stop laughing"
Her laughs soon stoped, "maybe it's the universe telling you that I need to go home," she said with a smile.
"Yeah yeah yeah."
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
-