(CHILD ASSAULT IN THIS CHAPTER. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.)
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His breath...
It smelled of black licorice and his skin wreaked of musty cologne.
His body was hot and sweaty and his large hands held both her wrists high, up above her head, while he continued to invade and violently thrust himself inside her.
Tears fall warm and steady, and sniffles are ignored.
He paid top dollar for the young child and he refused to let up.
His breathing grew hitched, as his sloppy motions finally subsided.
Hed reached his selfish peak of enjoyment and as he glanced down at the pretty face beneath him, he smirked devilishly.
"You are so beautiful."
His voice was deep and gruff, his breath warm and gross to the young girl.
He then spit on her. His thick, white film of saliva coating her face.
He did this every time he finished, given she wouldn't open her mouth to allow him to deposit it that way.
She simply gulped, as her soul had broke several men ago.
She just laid as the eight of the bed returned to normal, once he's gotten up and exited the room.
Several moments later, she feels a warm towel on her face, quickly wiping away the disgusting spit from her skin.
She's met with a look of both slight concern and disappointment on the older woman's brown eyes.
"I don't understand why you don't you just open your mouth" She sighed, doing one final wipe across her bottom lip.
She doesn't respond. She simply sucks in her cries, as the woman sighs loudly.
"Clover, Clover, Clover. My sweet baby girl," she paused, eyeing her nude grand-daughter for a few moments.
That usual jealousy quickly began to set in.
"You do realize these men are paying to see you beautiful and feminine...and sweet. Not weak and unmanageable."
"You need to suck it up, do what the fuck they ask and keep it pushin. This is how we survive. You know you're not the only one doing this. Every girl has sex. You're mother did too. How do you think you got here?"
"Stop acting like the world owes you something. The world doesn't owe you shit, not even me. You have to be strong to make it out here, cause the world out there, could give a fuck less bout a lil black girl like you. No matter how pretty you may be. You are not special. You hear me?"
The girl just nods, her tear filled orbs now focusing on the orange colored walls.
She could feel herself begin to disassociate, going into that familiar world where she was the ring-master at the circus, controlling all the animals and talking to them.
She wore a cute, while pantsuit, a red hat and sparkly, red shoes.
Everyone loved her at the circus.
Everyone.
After various acrobatic acts and taming the lions, she's brought back into real time, thanks to the sinking of the bed.
This one is a bit heavier than the last.
More stomach.
More sweat.
He smells of hibiscus though.
And he's white.
He loved to bite and pinch nipples, almost to the point of near pain.
"Sweet girl...yeah....sweet girl...."
His favorite words whenever violating her.
Smacks follow next.
They start off slow and light before turning into full blown power smacks, each more fierce than the last.
It's done repeatedly, most times out of nowhere.
Harder.
Faster.
They then turn into punches.
Over and over and over and over.
He'd never done this before.
The hard connecting of closed fist against flesh and bone fills her head, right before a semi loud 'crunch' fills the room.
Her nose breaks.
His hands then place themselves around her throat, squeezing quickly and tightly.
Her gasp makes her eyes widen as instinct forces her to kick and flair, her small body trying its hardest to free herself from underneath him. A swoosh of air hits her before they're joined by the facilitator of it all.
Glock in hand, she ran behind the man, repeatedly hitting him in the head with the butt of the gun in an effort to help her grand-daughter, her loud yells coating the room, as he continued to choke....
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"NO! NO! NO! GET OFF ME! GET OFF ME!"
"Get off me pleeeease! Pleeeease. Move! Move!"
"Nooooo! Moooove!"
"Get the fuck off me!"
David woke up to a kicking and thrashing Jarvis in bed beside him.
Her loud screams and cries disturbed his light slumber, as he was finally getting to sleep after returning back home a mere two hours earlier.
"Yo...hey. Jarvis," David called, gently grabbing her shoulder, to which she quickly pulled away.
"Don't touch me! Don't touch me! Dont touch me!"
Her cries grew louder, as she backed up on the bed, only to fall off and unto the floor.
She then inched against the wall on the floor.
"Yo...wassup witchu?" David questioned groggily, cautiously making his way to her side.
He looked at her on the floor, repeatedly clawing at both the lengths of her arms, each one simultaneously...as if she was washing something off, but very forcefully and rough.
"Jarvis...Jarvis...hey." David called a bit louder, as he stared down at her in confusion.
"No! Please don't touch me! Please!"
"I...I'm sorry!"
She cried, her voice now breaking, her face twisted up in sheer pain, as David went for her arms again.
"Hey...Jarvis it's me...Samir. Can you hear me?"
She was shaking her head back and forth so fast, David was so sure it would twist off.
"Hey...yo. Jarvis, you dreamin' a something. I'm not gone hurt you, its me. Samir...Hey."
David moved his hands down to her wrists, carefully separating her arms away from the other in front of her, fearful she would start to break skin due to how rough she was scratching at them.
"Yo, Jarvis! Jarvis! Chill, its me. Wake up!" David was slightly yelling now, due to Jarvis still trying to fight.
He looked down at her in disbelief before quickly turning and running to cut the light on. Once he did, he ran back to where she was, as her eyes grew accustomed to the light. They then landed on David. Her eyes grew as wide as saucers next, before they fell into a squint, looking at David in confusion.
"Oh...oh my goodness," She placed shaking hands across her mouth, as her eyes began to water.
She had no idea why she was on the floor, but with the way David was currently looking at her, she was sure she'd embarrassed herself.
Before he could even speak, she rose up and scurried past him, running down the hall and into the bathroom, locking the door behind her.
David stood in the middle of his room, shocked, confused and lost, all in one.
He'd never seen night terrors or someone experiencing bad dreams quite like that, and she'd kicked the shit out of his leg when she first woke up.
He didn't know whether to go after her now, or to simply just wait.
Looking at his clock, it was almost five in the morning.
"Shit man," he mumbled, slowly leaning his head back and sighing.
Bringing his head back down, he sat on his bed and gave her a few moments before riding back up and making his way down the hall to check on her.
Hand on the knob, he turned, not surprise dit was clearly locked.
"J....you good in there mama?" He questioned, but was met with silence.
"Jarvis. You gotta answer me beautiful, or I'ma have to kick dis door in."
Several moments of silence fell through, as Samir placed his head against the door.
"I'm giving you five minutes. When I come back, unlock my door... please."
Walking down the hall and grabbing a bottled water from the fridge, David turned turned and twisted the cap, taking a long, sip.
He didn't even know how to address what had just transpired. He just knew he didn't want to leave her in there too long because he didn't know what she would do. He also knew that she was embarrassed.
Sighing lowly, David took another sip of his drink before placing the bottle down on the table and making his way down the hall.
He could hear light gagging and retching followed by the sound of the toilet flushing.
After waiting a few seconds, he went for the knob, slowly twisting it open to see her leaned against the wall, near the tub.
She looked defeated and tired.
Her hair was a slight mess, matted against her forehead and her head was tilted to the side, as she stared blankly ahead.
"You okay?" He questioned, slowly walking towards her.
She didn't speak.
She just continued to stare.
"Jarvis.....you good?" He asked again.
She blinked a few times before gulping slowly.
"I shouldn't be here," she said softly.
David's face scrunched up.
"Whatchu mean?"
"I...I can't stay here long, Samir."
She finally looked over his way, her eyes bloodshot red.
"Why not?"
David was confused but he could feel his heart softening by the second, as he looked down at her.
She looked pitiful and sad, and all he wanted to do was scoop her up and take her back to the bed, but he could tell she didn't want to be touched.
A wall was definitely up and he wanted to respect her space....and her words.
"I'm no good....to you...or anybody," she shook her head.
"I'm not a good person Samir."
She continued to look up at him, her chest heaving now, as she sucked her cries in.
Sincerity coated her heart and the more she spoke, the lighter she felt.
The true feelings she felt for herself were beginning to flow so effortlessly.
Even through her tears and fears of telling, she was tired of hiding and keeping such a secret.
She felt like death was near.
Whenever her dreams took over, she knew she was closer to ending it all, or simply placing herself in dangerous situations so someone else could do it for her.
She hadn't experienced such intense dreams so close and back to back in a while. She knew the reason they were returning so deep and heavily was because she'd stopped her meds....months ago.
"What are you talking about right now?"
"I did something bad....really, really bad," she bit down on her bottom lip.
David didn't know if she was still in some sort of daze, but her code talk was confusing him.
"Look, let's just go back to the bed and you can tell me whatever you need to, aight....come on,"
David extended his hand, but she shook her head.
"Those people...that shot in the club. Were they there for you?" She asked.
"I don't know." David lied.
He definitely knew that that wasn't some 'random' shooting, but in his mind it wasn't really none of her business.
"Why you asking me that?"
"You were shooting back, almost like you knew who it was."
"I was protecting myself....and you. You can't just let niggas shot atchu. I don't care who they there for."
She stared at him blankly.
She knew he was lying because she was a liar herself.
She watched how he moved and carried himself, along with his slight paranoia. He acted the same way they did, when they started selling.
"Look, let's just go back to the bed, please. And I getchu some water. You a mess right now, come on."
Reluctantly taking his hand, she allowed him to help her up, as they made their way back to the bedroom.
Handing her a water, she didn't even drink it. She just looked up at David, who now stood in front of her, as she sat on the bed
"Samir....David. I wanna talk to you with your real name."
This made David snort a bit, but he caught himself.
"Okay. Talk to me."
Gulping hard, she thought about what she was about to do. She just wanted the floodgates to open and free herself from her sins.
It had been eating her up for the past two and a half years now.
"I was raped...as a child. My grandmother did it to me," She started, and David felt his entire chest drop.
He looked at her in disbelief as she continued.
"With different people....um...I eventually got away though and I haven't looked back since."
Taking a deep breath, she veered her eyes down, focusing on the carpet beneath her feet.
"I still have dreams...sometimes... and I can still feel everything. I can still smell them, hear them...."
She shook her head.
"I....I used to get medicine for it, but it made me feel like a zombie once the high wore down. I stopped going to therapy and I just shut everything out. I'm sorry."
"Sorry for what?" David said, now squatting down in front of her as she shook her head.
"I'm not special....I'm not a good girl," she cried lowly.
"Yo, what are you talking about? There is nothing wrong with you. At all. We all go through shit and I'm sorry that shit happened to you. That shit is crazy," David said, gently rubbing her arm.
"This shit....is a lot to take in right now. I would have never thought, but listen....you perfect in yo own way, we all are and ain't nothing wrong with you. You special as hell and you are a good girl. You alot different than a lotta bitches I know. You real different, real shit," David admitted.
"I just...you throwing a bomb on me right now. I wish you ain't tell me this shit bro....like I'm ready to go find me some niggas."
This made her laugh just a little.
"They probably old as dirt now."
"Shit, I don't give a fuck. Old and in the dirt is two different things."
She forced a light laugh, before looking back at him.
He was already watching her, this weird look on his face.
"You don't like me anymore huh?" She questioned, in a child like manner.
"No, no, no. I fuck witchu. That's not gone make me stop liking you. It just make me handle you different. That's it."
"Don't tell anybody, please."
"Course not...come on now. That ain't nobody business to know."
She nodded, as David continued to look at her.
"What?" She questioned softly.
"Nothing. Let's get just get back to bed."
Samir gave her a forehead kiss before looking back at her.
"Yo, you good with me, aight?"
Feeling a ton of relief, she nodded in understanding.
"Long as you in New-York, you good wit me. And I mean that shit."
David couldn't believe what he was saying, but he also couldn't stop himself either.
He liked 'Jarvis' but she was supposed to be something fun and pretty to mess with.
He'd made the mistake of having her over so much, and deciding to snuggle and shit when she was supposed to leave after sex didn't help matters either.
Hearing her say she was assaulted made him want to keep her even closer now, even if they were just 'fuck-buddies' that had cool times together.
He knew he didn't want a relationship, he just wanted her around, no matter how selfish that was in his mind.
Shaking off his thoughts, he wrapped his arm around her waist as she nestled in front of him, eyes wide open as she stared at the T.V.
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